We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
Having been involved with a female sociopath I understand there are differences between the two types, but the bottom line is that they areBOTH disturbed individuals.
To DrSteve (author of the article printed above),
Yes, there is without a doubt a female variation of psychopathy! Ninty percent of the articles I’ve read on this site about female psychopaths have read as an autobiography for me. Though there are differences in all of the stories, there are many, many simularities. Lying; manipulation; mental, emotional, physical (though not usually violent), spiritual, social, sexual, economic abuse; cheating (mostly emotional affairs, but can develop into physical/sexual affairs); controlling behaviors of all types; abuse of the social and legal systems (PLAYING VICTIM as they victimize others – male, female, old, young; it doesn’t really matter to them as long as they are winning/getting the attention/money/etc.). Female psychopaths WILL, without the slightest hesitation, use children as weapons against anyone they wish; for any reason!
Note to Wini:
There is a very good reason those vets didn’t like your bosses, if indeed they (bosses) were psychopaths. Vets, particularly, COMBAT vets (this can include law enforcement officers, firefighters, and rescue personal) all share a unique something that connects all as a sort of family. That “something” is very difficult to describe, so I won’t try to explain it here.
That “something” is something psychopaths CAN NOT tolerate; they hate it. The reason is that it goes against everything a psycho wants. Sorry to disappoint you but if you haven’t experienced that “something” firsthand you’re not likely to ever to fully understand it.
Dark Horse: Read my original post and then when I got on a roll talking about my bosses. I know for a fact that my big boss was a psychopath, along with the majority of the other bosses at her level. The others were wimps that wouldn’t speak up to any of them in fear of losing their plush positions with high salaries that had no accountability whatsoever to keep said jobs. As for the others, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt they were just plain selfish.
I knew those vets took off knowing full well what they were dealing with. It only took them a few days, they stayed a few weeks to a month or so, and they were long gone.
I wished I had the opportunity to transfer, but like I posted before, someone needed to work in that place, and that someone, along with the other 10% worked. The others just showed up and harassed us.
First hand? Yes. Do I comprehend it? Yes. Did the psychos in that place hate me? YES indeed they did.
Peace.
WINI,
The emotional drain and stress of facing those philistines each day had to take a toll on you. Dealing with one let alone a group of the ps would be overwhelming. I have heard stories of people who experienced similar things in their jobs and I absolutely believe you because I have seen people walk away from jobs they had been in for years and close to retirement but couldn’t wait it out another moment. It’s rotten and they probably know if they go after someone long enough they will eventually fold. Makes you wonder if they have some sort of dark celebration afterwards.
Well I believe there are plenty of female psychopaths out there . My basic premiss is that psychopaths are neither male or female , they just know how to play the part of the body they find themselves in . I believe a male psychopath is more likely to end up in jail for abuse or murder because they are stronger than there female victims . On the other hand it would be more difficult for a female psychopath to physically overpower the average man in an abusive context . Because of this physical difference psychopathic women tend to attack the mind of their male victims rendering them emotionally crippled . How they do this is debatable . My feeling from my own experience as a male victim is that psychopaths are able to shut either ones logical brain down or else they are able to tap into the subconscious and shut that down . At this point I am not sure which . Initially I thought it was the logical brain that was getting shut down , however now I am more leaning towards the concept that the subcoscious is being shut down which would maybe explain the total craziness that the victims feel and the apparent inability of the victim to understand what has happened to them
Just a side note on my last comment . When I broke up with my psychopathic X I found myself in a hell of a state that I could not understand . What was perhaps even more bizzare was that it appeared to me that other psychopaths , a male and a female , at the place I work were able to see the state I was in and immediately revealed themselves to me by adding their own little head games to the mix , perhaps hoping that they could finish off what my X had started. By this point I did not know who to trust and so chose not to trust anybody . Since that time I have read about 15 books and seem to have found myself again , I think . Not exactly 100% on that though as every now and again I get zapped with some confusion . Kind of a reminder that I must continue my quest to understand what psychopaths are and what they can do .
MORNIN ANGELS of TRUTH + LIGHT
Okay, here is me chiming in…
I’ve obsessed about my husband’s ex-s all over this board. I definitely agree that there are just as many female S’s as male, it’s just that they aren’t studied as much. They are normally just considered “gold-diggers”, “bitches”, etc. Abused men often don’t come forward after horrifying relationships like women do, either. My husband was abused by her for 7 years. He is just now coming to terms with how his reactions to her abuse still affect him to this day.
Of course she uses the kids against him. That’s all she’s got on him. She’s more than once taken over and tried to keep them from him because she was mad. On a good day, she just over-steps boundaries. On a bad day, she insults everybody who is making her mad, or tries to commit suicide, or threatens violence, or steals cars out of anger. And then there are the worse days with her kids that we don’t witness, thus the molestation accusations from my stepson at four years old. The family court, of course, doesn’t believe a mother is capable of such heinous crimes, so after 1 1/2 years of fighting for custody in court, with all the evidence in the world, the blind judge gave her the kids joint custody with us.
Just last week, she failed to pick up her son from kindergarten on time, so the teacher put him on the bus to our house. I was picking up my sons from another school at the same time. Well, she showed up at my house looking for him, knocked on the door, then proceeded to go through my house while I was gone. He was down the street at a neighbor’s house. Of all the irresponsible, violating things to do. Then she just goes on, as though she had some god-given right to do that since she’s his MOM.
That is actually a G-rated version of the stuff she is capable of doing. I agree that S-women don’t end up in jail as much as S-men, either because they realize they don’t want to go to jail, and thus ‘ride the line’, or because they’re really good at talking their way out of trouble, as is the case with my hubby’s ex.
quest: Interesting that you wrote how the other psychos you worked with wanted to do you under even more so, knowing that you were already depressed and how they saw it on your face how you were done under already by your EX.
Opposite again. We do positives in life with other folks and want the best for them, as well as ourselves and everything our EXs did to us and other anti-socials is always destructive.
Everything about them is the complete opposite of us.
Thanks for sharing this insight with us.
I want to put the Bible in table format, Title Headings of what we are noticing on this blogg and see if the same scriptures come up over and over again when anyone writes specifics about their stories of their EXs. I think we will start seeing a pattern that we need to view due to all of them.
Peace.