We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
Alex,
they come in both genders.
It’s possible that the females are labeled borderline because a female psychopath’s mask is more likely to include more emotions, including hysterical emotions. Whereas the males exhibit rage instead.
Or, maybe the females hide it better. The female spaths I’ve known have PERFECT masks. Unbelievably perfect. Unless you know what you are dealing with, you will accept all responsibility for whatever went wrong in the relationshit.
Of the male spaths that I’ve known, only my ex-spath had such a perfect mask. In a way it reminds me of the cowardly behavior of a gossipy, pathetic woman. His slander through gossip, his poisoning my food, his sabotage of peoples helicopters, homes and cars, the constant seeding of envy with carefully placed comments etc… All remind me more of the manipulations of a woman, rather than the aggression of what most people think of when they think of a male spath.
They aren’t judged differently. Both genders of psychopaths get away with murder. Judges and juries can’t see past the mask.
a must read book its called venus the dark side
the intro
“The consequences of her behavior are always somebody else’s problem, not hers. She is never to blame for anything…Because she’s out to control, she manipulates and punishes at will. She is the witness, the judge, the lawyer, the jury, the executioner – but never the accused…She will break the rules without a second thought, if the end justifies the means.”
sounds familier they are all the same
If you do win one, or get one over on them, how long do you need to continue to watch your back? I am talking about no contact with the person at all. I’m just wondering when I can stop keeping my eye on him in fear of him doing something stupid.
I had made a PDF that was 57 pages long of all the email threats of mine to me. I’d cancelled my emails and phone number and changed them all. The next day I saw an email in my work emails from him and all that was on the body of the email was my work email address typed in. I then called the police chief in his town, which is a small town, told him the story, and he had me forward him that PDF. He made a phone call that he said lasted about an hour and he went over all the threats with him. That that was the weirdest shit he’d ever read. He suggested to him to respect my wishes and leave me alone and not to post my name or comments about me. He then told me that if one more thing happened, to call him and he’d get me on the path to filing charges against him for stalking. So I’m wondering how mad he would have been that he was called by the police chief.
Bunny,
that doesn’t sound right. The chief of police sounds like he’s the witness, judge, jury etc…
Aren’t cops supposed to follow procedures, write reports, keep records and uphold the law?
My spath had the sheriff and several deputies in his pocket. Nobody would ever believe it because my spath looks like a homeless bum with meth mouth, but he can make anyone love him like a brother.
All I know is the contact to me stopped once he made that call. He had been using my full name on websites and forums just degrading me to no end. He was on his FB page telling everyone to unfriend me because I was the one sending out all the viruses. If I was that good, I’d be working as a hacker and making money at it. I reported the posts 4 times and they are still up there. He even said where I lived. After that, there have been a few snide comments, but my name hasn’t been mentioned at all. He lives in Florida, and I know they have some pretty stiff stalking laws. He also spend a year in federal prison for threatening to kill someone and blow up a building.
The Chief told me that he was trying to easiest thing first, making a phone call and suggesting that he stop. After that we could get a Protection from Stalking Order.
get the order why would you trust this police chief small town law is what gets victims in trouble protect yourself, when you change your info its like it makes them work harder sometimes its best to leave it the same and let them dig there own hole, mine had complete control and i never new, webwatcher on the cpus she had every password every phone call text tracked my movements,let it the control eat them alive, use it against them
Well, I’d filed a report with my local police. They asked me why I was filing a report. I said this man is stalking and threatening me. He lived in another state and I was told that he lived far enough away that I shouldln’t have to worry about him. And if he showed up to call them. The filed the report, but did so unwillingly. They also said that if I were to get a Protection from Stalking order, he could be there. If he didn’t show, then I’d get one. In his state, it’s the same, they wouldn’t grant one if I didn’t show up. And I didn’t feel like flying to Key West FL and making myself available to him again.
well in this day and age with the damage that can be done through the internet you can never be to careful, more damage can be done online than in person, facebook will cause more problems than its worth, change your passwords every 2 weeks keep your info limited everything you use can be used against you, i was destroyed with info that i thought was harmless, accounts hacked pictures deleted, customers from my job getting calls to see who they where made me look like a fool and i took it for what i thought was love
I change my PWs all the time. I have some extreme documentation of everything he is doing, emails, screen shots, etc. He’s not computer literate at all. But he can place Craigs List ads using my name. But he doesn’t have my phone number of email anymore to send the responses to me. I am just watching things now so if I have to do damage control I will. I will be moving out of state in the spring and he won’t find me at all. Considering all the stuff I have on him, I wonder what he’d do if I sent it all to everyone he knows. That’s what he was threatening me with.
stop now your playing his game number one you shouldnt have to move number two stop watching him thats what he/she/they want, the best therapy you can have at this point is to do everything you can to put it behind you you dont need damage control because actions bring reactions the best defense you have is nothing, they are feeders they survive off of our emotions they feed off of our actions the most damaging thing you can do to them is to not care, dont let it bother you, stop using your energy to feed theres, its funny but its not most sociopaths cause damage that is done long after there gone, they cause us to look over our shoulder watch our backs be hatefull resentfull, this harms them not one bit but it breaks us down piece by piece month after month year after year, stop fearing and start fighting all these boards are people saying it was bad it was horrible well im done and im gonna live life like never before and everyone else should do the same