We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
So from what you guys have wrote in the last little bit here , would imply that it all boils down to the psychopath not being able to love or be loved although in some wierd way they kind of wish that they could experience it. In fact When me and my X were on the verge of splitting up , she said , in perhaps a rare moment of truth .” I want to feel totally intimate with someone and not just in a sexual way.” Well at the time I did not think of it but of coarse what I should have said was . “well if you want to be intimate , then you actually have to be intimate “. Of coarse that would involve having feelings for another person and maybe that just aen’t possible for these types of people . I guess that it would be as likely for me to feel love and compassion for a mosquito thats sucking blood out of my arm as it is for a psychopath to feel anything for a fellow human being . So what the hell are these people , aliens from another planet living in human bodies . Is invasion of the body snatchers , a true story . I guess the biggest problem I have with the whole idea that these people are missing something mentally is that I am sure they are not stupid , and in fact , given that they are quite able to manipulate and control other people , are they actually more inteligent than the average . So heres a question . Do psychopaths have a weak spot . The only thing that I have noticed is that they don’t take criticism to well , in fact it drives them nuts .. Of coarse if you are a woman you would likely not play this card with a potentially dangerous psychopathic male unless there were other people around to come to your aid . The wierd thing about the whole criticism thing is that they will take it as a direct insult , if you have a different opinion than they do on almost anything . Or was that reaction just another method of shutting the victim down .In my own case ,I eventually gave up expressing my own opinion about anything in order to avoid another pointless argument . I guess one other thing that seems to have a rather interesting effect is to ignore them . Its almost as if they have lost their favourite toy and that pisses them off as well . My X works at the same company as me . You can probably imagine the tension when we accidently run into each other . It used to be that I would avoid even eye contact with her , now it is her that is avoiding eye contact with me as I am sure she knows I can see straight through her mask .In a wierd way , I think that makes her nervous . I think also that she feels like a bit of a failure because I was able to escape her charm , and she has not been able to reel me back in . Working at the same place can also be interesting as when someone makes a comment about something she has done I tend to point out the reason for her doing it . As time goes by everyone is starting to get the picture . Everyone in the company are her victims on some level , some more than others . Of coarse there are the other psychopaths as well .
From what I can tell psychopaths recognise each other immediately . Its almost as if there is an unwritten code of ethics for psychopaths . You keep out of my space and I will keep out of yours . My victims are mine and yours are yours , don’t touch mine . Gee , is this where tribalism comes from .
quest: All I can say is trust God and be at peace. Trust in ourselves and all the worrying and misery will flourish … it’s inevitable (that’s the human condition). God will never fail us. God is always with us. God always loves us. Every single one of us.
I put my faith in God … that he has a reason for everything we have or ever will experience in life.
quest: What I was trying to convey is that their weak spot is that they only trust in themselves and not believing and trusting in God.
Peace.
well God aen’t doin it for me . As for the faith , I do not really understand how one can have faith in something that is not working . Look at the state of the world . Go to the third world and have a look . How you can possibly believe in a forgiving God is beyond me . The western world has been pilageing the wealth of the third world for hundreds of years . The western world goes to church on sunday to give thanks for their standard of living , at the expense of the starving millions . Now if that aen’t psychopathic I don’t know what is .
Hi Quest:
There has been the battle of good and evil since the beginning of time. There has to be good people out there to combat evil. Could you imagine what the world would be like if EVERYONE was evil? Much worse than it is now. Much worse. There are good people out there who can actually make a difference…look at Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.
If everyone just did what the bible said and “do unto others” maybe then the world would be a better place. But, God gave us free will and some choose evil. We can only control ourselves, everyone else has to choose what they think make them happy. Sociopaths think choosing to do evil will make them happy. What they choose is based on sin and can never make them happy. What is their weakspot? To be told what they are doing is wrong. My ex hated that. He would walk out the house pretending to go to his friends but I caught on he was cheating. I would say, “what you are doing to me is wrong!” He would get angry and leave. They hate to be made aware of the truth. they hate to be revealed.
quest: That is because you are looking at life from your human eye which is seeing the human illusion … and not your spiritual eye.
We live on the earth in human form to experience life … we are not of the earth. Those that do not live in harmony with others do not believe in God, they believe in themselves which I said is violating the very first commandment …
It is when you go humble and put your faith in God is when you will remember what your spirit needs to be reminded of.
Peace.
Dear Quest,
While my faith in God works for me, you don’t have to have faith (believing something you can’t see) in my God or someone else’s God or philosophy—you have to have YOUR OWN FAITH IN YOUR OWN SPIRITUALITY, whatever that is.
Call it “karma” or “a higher power” or whatever you want to call “it”—but the part of “us” that is something “more” than just the “animal & biological components” of humanity. Spirituality doesn’t have to be a belief or worshiping of any god, it can be based on any philosophy of being better than “dog eat dog” animalistic treatment of other humans.
Why is it good not to steal? Why is it good not to kill? You obviously have compassion for those people in the world who are downtroden and in need. Yes, there are people who call themselves “good XYZ’s” (fill in the name of the religion) who think of themselves as “holy” and “good” who look around at other people in need and have no compassion. That doesn’t mean that the teachings of their religion or philosophy are not true or good, it means that those individuals are not practicing “what they preach.”
Just like it doesn’t mean every Republican is a thief and bribe taker just because the Senator from Alaska failed to report his briibes and got busted for NOT REPORTING HIS “GIFTS.”
It does’t mean every Democrat left a woman to die in a sunken car while he tried to come up with an alibi while she drowned just because Ted Kennedy did. Or that because Bill Clinton is a sleazy cheating husband that all Democrats are the same.
If my faith in “little green men” is what helps you through the healing process I say RIGHT ON! If someone else belives in little “blue men” then I also say RIGHT ON.
I dont agree with Wini or she with me on lots of aspects of spirituality and even Christianity, but I hope our discussing this doesn’t turn you off or upset you, because that isn’t the point of any of our discussions at all. I know I am not pushing my own spirituality or religion on anyone—my mother pushed hers on to me to the point it almost turned me away from not only God but from spirituality of any kind in general.
To me, each person must come to their own conclusions about what works for them, them and NO ONE ELSE. If that makes any sense to you. I have read the major works of several religions and philosophies and have taken good points from them all that I have incorporated into my healing path.
All of those writings seem to agree on what makes us “better” people; being kind, forgiving, and caring—the exact opposite of what the Ps are. Dr. Frankl’s book, “Man’s search for meaning,” goes along with most of my thinking too, and though he was not a highly religious man, Dr. Frankl seemed to think that spirituality (of any kind or a feeling of love) helped the victims that survived to keep the will to go on, even if that “faith” later turned out to be unjustified. HIs faith in and love for his wife (who was actually dead) helped keep him alive.
I agree that “man’s inhumanity to man” is terrible over most of the Glove, and I have been in enough third world countries to observe this for my self. It isn’t only “The Americans” that “fiddle while Rome burns” but many of the “haves” who have little compassion for those “have nots” even if they even know the “have nots” exist. But at the same time, there ARE good people in this world, and good philosophies, and good religious people. We can’t “fix” all the ills of the world, but if each of us contributes “one drop” of good, it will form an ocean!
The darkness always tries to swallow the light, but even a tiny light defeats total darkness. I may not be a very bright light, but if there is any spark left in me at all, I want to let it shine! To bring comfort and peace to those who have suffered, or are suffering, as others shone the light for me when all I could see was the darkness of pain. (((hugs))))
My favorite charities are Operation Smile and Heifer International. There is good in the world.
Hey Oxy, you forgot to say that God is not God’s name.
Let’s not mix any words here (LOL).
Love ya sweetie.
Well Nice to get some feed back even if i don’t necessarily agree with it all the time . most of my friends and people I know are kind of getting sick of hearing about psychopaths . A few of them can relate to what I am going through , but for the most part I think they think I just stepped off the cuckoo train . I guess the big thing is to get it out of my head into a format where I can see and analyse it . Sometimes you don’t realise something until you say or write it . So thanks for being my sounding wall and thanks for the reactions . It all helps in the understanding . Well I’m off to do some psychopath spotting at a local restaurant . Catch yuh later