The day after Christmas, I got a lesson in respecting the elements. It was about 35°F, not really that cold, but there was quite a wind chill. The kids and I went to the beach to run the dog on the sand at about 3:30 in the afternoon. We got back to the van at about 5 to discover that good old Mom had lost her keys. (Actually, a prior foster dog had chewed a hole in my jacket pocket and the keys fell out.) I ended up calling a taxi, but we waited in the elements for at least an hour total.
We were all properly dressed with boots, hats, gloves and heavy jackets. In spite of being prepared, we were chilled to the bone when we finally got home. I said to my daughter, “I can see how easy it is to freeze to death in the cold, and why people die when they get stuck in the snow.”
I’m sure most people who live in places where it gets dangerously cold have their own stories to tell. That is why it is so tragic and unbelievable that an Idaho father “allowed” his 11 year old daughter and 12 year old son to attempt to walk 10 miles in the snow Christmas day after their vehicle got stuck.
Temperatures ranged from -5 to 27°F when the two set out from the disabled vehicle. According to the Associated Press, the children were living with their father Robert Aragon and were being driven to visit their mother JoLeta Jenks. “After the sedan got caught in the snow, authorities allege Aragon let the children out to walk to their mother’s house while he and his cousin Kenneth Quintana, 29, stayed behind to free the car. (They freed the car and went home rather than driving to make sure the kids made it.) Jenks said she eventually called Aragon because she was concerned after no one arrived at her home on Thursday.
Aragon had driven back to his hometown of Jerome after letting the kids out to walk to her house, Jenks said.
“I could not believe it,” she said.”
The 12 year old boy was found 4 ½ miles away, delusional from hypothermia. His sister was not so lucky, she was found dead 2 ½ miles away. Fleming (the local Sheriff) said she was wearing only a brown down coat, black shirt, pink pajama pants and tan snowboots.
He reportedly commented, “I’ve never seen anything like this, it was a 10-mile walk, the way they were dressed, it’s just all mind-boggling.”
Incidents like this one are the answer to the “So what?” question. What’s the “So what?” question? It is the response judges and attorneys have to the finding that a parent is a sociopath or has psychopathic personality traits. So What?
| DSM IV Sociopathy (Antisocial Personality Disorder) |
| 5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others. 6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations. |
| PCL-R Psychopathy |
| 10. Poor behavioral controls 13. Lack of realistic, long-term goals 15. Irresponsibility 16. Failure to accept responsibility for actions 17. Many short term marital relationships |
The table above shows that irresponsibility and recklessness are part of sociopathy as defined by the psychiatry’s DSM and psychopathy as defined by the PCL-R.
Why are sociopaths so consistently reckless and irresponsible? These traits get us to the core of the disorder. At the core of the disorder is poor impulse control. What that means is that if there is a situation where the sociopath has to balance pleasure and risk, the sociopath will always choose pleasure over managing risk. Sociopaths are unable to feel fear or concern for consequences during the time they are focused on immediate pleasure or comfort.
In situations like the father and the kids in the snow, the pull to get the car out and go home is stronger than any concern for the kids. While in pursuit of a goal involving pleasure, thoughts of risk or danger simply are not there. So why would a sociopath drive to go find the kids when he can go home and be warm?
Also sociopaths are unable to love so they lack working empathy. Thoughts and feelings of another’s physical suffering simply do not register on the radar. Out of sight, out of mind defines sociopaths and their relationships. The minute the kids set out, they are gone.
Sociopaths also lack moral reasoning ability. That means they are unable to detect and interpret situations that have moral implications. The moral implications of parental responsibility do not register at the time life and death decisions have to be made.
There is not much information regarding Aragon’s psychopathic personality traits. But he does have two drug convictions and often drug abuse/addiction causes these personality traits. I am sure we will learn more about this tragic story over the next few months.
Sadly, most people do not understand sociopathy and how it is disabling for a parent. To expect a sociopath to execute sound judgment or be a protective parent when forced to choose between his pleasure and his child’s pain is like expecting a mentally retarded person to do calculus.
One of our Lovefraud readers, Rune sent me these comments to this story as posted on AOL.
Nanamummy
05:41 AMJan 02 2009
If this man is such a criminal…why did he have custody of the children? Yes, he made a decision which will haunt him for life…..what’s to be gained by putting him in jail for life? Over zealous authorities and a useless justice system…..this case really depresses me.
JAKVINOCUR
04:39 AMJan 02 2009
so we are now putting fathers in jail for stuff like this. seriously whether they went walking or not they would have still needed to be in the snow. the father was only doing what he thought was best. if he was such a bad father than why does he have custody of them over the mother. yes it was a bad judgement on his part but dont you think he has been punished enough by losing his daughter. we will punish people for [heinous] crimes but we still cannot find osama bin laden or even catch murderers here or sex offenders. wheter what he did or not is irrelvent he lost his daughter let him go find peace in his heart. if god can forgive him why cant we. stupid to let this man go to prison.
Keshet333
11:55 PMJan 02 2009
This is a very unfortunate accident. The fact that the man had custody of the children tells me that he was a good father. In situations such as these, decision making is sometimes not the best. This man will be haunted by this for the rest of his life. They should drop all charges. Isn’t he paying enough for his bad judgment?
Russiawthluv
06:08 PMJan 01 2009
Obviously the man did NOT mean to harm his children. His son and daughter lived with him. He took care of their basic, daily needs. Why would he intentionally bring harm to either child when he has taken care of them so well for their entire lives? There’s no doubt in my mind he made an extremely poor decision. Then again, these two kids were more than likely used to snow, rain and other extreme weather, being that they grew up in that climate. The way he is portrayed by the media is simply unacceptable! Especially with the eye-catching headline..”MAN ALLOWS HIS CHILDREN TO WALK 10 MLES IN DEEP SNOW. 11 YEAR DAUGHTER DEAD FROM HYPOTHERMIA.” For the most part, even if this man wanted a fair trial….how’s he ever going to get one if slanderous & severely misconstrued statements were already pumped out to the masses? That man is in bitter anguish. It’s a “life sentence” if you ask me for this individual to have to spend the remainder of his life knowing his poor decision resulted in the…
The comments also indicate that people don’t know that sociopaths frequently get custody of children. One cannot assume that the parent who has custody is “providing for them.”
It is time for family courts to learn to assess sociopathy and its meaning for parenting. The very least they could do in the case of two sociopathic parents is to educate them about their defects. At least we should tell them, “Look, you are missing all of your decision making social brain, so don’t put yourself in a situation where you will have to choose between your child’s welfare and your own comfort!”
FYI AOL has a poll, I participated and got the following results:
Poll Results
Do you think a murder charge is warranted in this case?
No 47% 101,555
Yes 31% 66,279
I’m not sure 22% 46,384
Thank you, Liane. I look forward to our LF community’s view of this.
Bloody awfull tale, my sister tried unsuccesfully for twenty years to have a child, its a crying shame that people like this have kids at the drop of a hat…those children must have been terrified, they say hyperthermia is a terrible way to die…poor little mites, the father should be locked away and castrated to prevent him fathering any more unfortunate children, If I were the mother I would kill him with my bare hands and gladly pay the price in court.
Know this isnt the place to post this but not sure where is….just to say still around, plenty of lows a few highs…peace reigns here, it is the longest ever without word from the evil one..two weeks three days since he has been gone and a whole ten days not hearing a word….I think my situation is now resolved, there is no way he would let it go this long unless it was over…I will still be sticking around…great site…great posters…great advice
2009 N.Y. resolution
1.Convince at least someone here to go get me BEER and Cigaretts!
I think a parent who sends a 12 year old and an 11 year old child on a 10 mile walk after their car breaks down, even on a day WITHOUT bitter cold and snow, is irresponsible beyond belief.
I had to actually read the article twice before I understood what really happened. The first time I read it quickly I did it with a few assumptions in mind – that they were walking together when the accident happened (no father would do otherwise, right ?…) Than the “bad decision” excuse made perfect sense.
Only when trying to put myself in their own shoes I read it twice and than I got it. First the father let the children go alone 10 miles in the winter. Than on the top of that when they were able to make the car running again, they headed away from the children, towards his home. This shows that at best a part of father’s brain is missing.
Not calling his wife but letting her call him about the fate of the children proves negligence.
I think the problem with the public opinion is that people do not bother to read precisely what has happened (just as I did the first time) while making assumptions of what has happened. In this case my assumption was that they were all walking together, while the accident happened – I bet similar assumptions are the cause of such pool results.
This situation is similar to the one when people leave their children in the car on a hot summer day. letting them die of extreme heat.
Peter
Boy am I tired of Indigo’s absurd comments.
This thread is about a totally avoidable tragedy. It is obvious that this father was lacking something critical in his ability to parent. It is also alarming that the comments posted on AOL indicate that the general public lacks the ability to see that.
What if the Dad let the children walk ONE mile in the snow and freezing temperatures? THAT would be very poor judgement. But 10 miles? This indicates something much bigger is present in this man’s ability to CARE for his children’s welfare.
Very sad story.
P.S. I will try to control my above impulses in the future. Many apologies.
Some of Indigo’s remarks I actually find pretty insightful. But I have to admit, some of them I am clueless what the heck they even mean. 🙂
Peter: You’ve described the “loophole” that lets the S/P get away with so very much. “Surely he didn’t mean to do THAT!” we say, as we apply our own internal logic to explain away the S/P’s behavior.
I know that landscape. Astronauts trained for lunar landings in that area because it is so bleak and empty. No trees, lava rock rubble, no houses. An absolutely unforgiving environment. Clearly a heartless parent. (And conscienceless, perhaps?)
People AUTOMATICALLY believeing that since he had “custody” that he was a fit parent i n unbelieveable to me. How did he obtain custody? Did the mother (maybe also disordered) abandoned the kids and he was “stuck with them?”
Though I grew up and mostly lived in some more moderate climates than the one described, I HAVE BEEN in VERY COLD conditions and NO WAY would I have set those children out side the car even. At least they could have been away from the wind inside the car which even in bitter cold would have been better than them being outside.
I can only imagine the man’s rage when he was having to take the kids to his X’s and got stuck, so he was probably screaming and ranting about how much trouble he had gone to and now look at the situation and it was all the kids’ faults and he wasn’t even going to take them to their mothers after all even when he got the car out. So the kids, wanting to see their mom probably volunteered to walk and he just screamed at them, “Okay, go ahead, I don’t give a rat’s behind about it anyway.” The kids, not realizing the danger struck off and HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT ANY DANGER IF HE HAD THOUGHT ABOUT IT. The kids were so much trouble anyway.
Maybe that’s not how it actually happened, but I don’t need a crystal ball to think it is something along those lines.
I am with Muldoon on the appropriate punishment! Sheesh!
Too many people have a concensus bias to “get it” about how EVIL and UNCARING some people are.
Just because WE wouldn’t do anything to consciously harm or allow our kids to harm themselves we don’t see that others CAN AND DO do those things.
The one thing my sons know, ,and always knew, was the way to get mom’s dander UP and get into a world of trouble was do disobey safety rules and good sense. No using a chain saw wihtout someone right there with you, no climbing on a high ladder when you are alone. No driving intoxicated, not even a little bit! No inappropriate handling of fire arms or joking around with them. No inappropriate handling of fire works, etc. My sons are both physically fit adult men and neither of them would have attempted that treck unless they were WELL dressed, had appropriate safety equipment with them, GPS or some other indicator of directions, etc. and it would have had to be a BAD emergency to even attempt it.
A sad way for the little girl to die. A sadder thing to have a parent like that. God bless them, and I hope the little boy recovers without significant losses of fingers, toes, or his nose…I am sure he will have some pretty profound psychological trauma though.