The day after Christmas, I got a lesson in respecting the elements. It was about 35°F, not really that cold, but there was quite a wind chill. The kids and I went to the beach to run the dog on the sand at about 3:30 in the afternoon. We got back to the van at about 5 to discover that good old Mom had lost her keys. (Actually, a prior foster dog had chewed a hole in my jacket pocket and the keys fell out.) I ended up calling a taxi, but we waited in the elements for at least an hour total.
We were all properly dressed with boots, hats, gloves and heavy jackets. In spite of being prepared, we were chilled to the bone when we finally got home. I said to my daughter, “I can see how easy it is to freeze to death in the cold, and why people die when they get stuck in the snow.”
I’m sure most people who live in places where it gets dangerously cold have their own stories to tell. That is why it is so tragic and unbelievable that an Idaho father “allowed” his 11 year old daughter and 12 year old son to attempt to walk 10 miles in the snow Christmas day after their vehicle got stuck.
Temperatures ranged from -5 to 27°F when the two set out from the disabled vehicle. According to the Associated Press, the children were living with their father Robert Aragon and were being driven to visit their mother JoLeta Jenks. “After the sedan got caught in the snow, authorities allege Aragon let the children out to walk to their mother’s house while he and his cousin Kenneth Quintana, 29, stayed behind to free the car. (They freed the car and went home rather than driving to make sure the kids made it.) Jenks said she eventually called Aragon because she was concerned after no one arrived at her home on Thursday.
Aragon had driven back to his hometown of Jerome after letting the kids out to walk to her house, Jenks said.
“I could not believe it,” she said.”
The 12 year old boy was found 4 ½ miles away, delusional from hypothermia. His sister was not so lucky, she was found dead 2 ½ miles away. Fleming (the local Sheriff) said she was wearing only a brown down coat, black shirt, pink pajama pants and tan snowboots.
He reportedly commented, “I’ve never seen anything like this, it was a 10-mile walk, the way they were dressed, it’s just all mind-boggling.”
Incidents like this one are the answer to the “So what?” question. What’s the “So what?” question? It is the response judges and attorneys have to the finding that a parent is a sociopath or has psychopathic personality traits. So What?
| DSM IV Sociopathy (Antisocial Personality Disorder) |
| 5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others. 6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations. |
| PCL-R Psychopathy |
| 10. Poor behavioral controls 13. Lack of realistic, long-term goals 15. Irresponsibility 16. Failure to accept responsibility for actions 17. Many short term marital relationships |
The table above shows that irresponsibility and recklessness are part of sociopathy as defined by the psychiatry’s DSM and psychopathy as defined by the PCL-R.
Why are sociopaths so consistently reckless and irresponsible? These traits get us to the core of the disorder. At the core of the disorder is poor impulse control. What that means is that if there is a situation where the sociopath has to balance pleasure and risk, the sociopath will always choose pleasure over managing risk. Sociopaths are unable to feel fear or concern for consequences during the time they are focused on immediate pleasure or comfort.
In situations like the father and the kids in the snow, the pull to get the car out and go home is stronger than any concern for the kids. While in pursuit of a goal involving pleasure, thoughts of risk or danger simply are not there. So why would a sociopath drive to go find the kids when he can go home and be warm?
Also sociopaths are unable to love so they lack working empathy. Thoughts and feelings of another’s physical suffering simply do not register on the radar. Out of sight, out of mind defines sociopaths and their relationships. The minute the kids set out, they are gone.
Sociopaths also lack moral reasoning ability. That means they are unable to detect and interpret situations that have moral implications. The moral implications of parental responsibility do not register at the time life and death decisions have to be made.
There is not much information regarding Aragon’s psychopathic personality traits. But he does have two drug convictions and often drug abuse/addiction causes these personality traits. I am sure we will learn more about this tragic story over the next few months.
Sadly, most people do not understand sociopathy and how it is disabling for a parent. To expect a sociopath to execute sound judgment or be a protective parent when forced to choose between his pleasure and his child’s pain is like expecting a mentally retarded person to do calculus.
One of our Lovefraud readers, Rune sent me these comments to this story as posted on AOL.
Nanamummy
05:41 AMJan 02 2009
If this man is such a criminal…why did he have custody of the children? Yes, he made a decision which will haunt him for life…..what’s to be gained by putting him in jail for life? Over zealous authorities and a useless justice system…..this case really depresses me.
JAKVINOCUR
04:39 AMJan 02 2009
so we are now putting fathers in jail for stuff like this. seriously whether they went walking or not they would have still needed to be in the snow. the father was only doing what he thought was best. if he was such a bad father than why does he have custody of them over the mother. yes it was a bad judgement on his part but dont you think he has been punished enough by losing his daughter. we will punish people for [heinous] crimes but we still cannot find osama bin laden or even catch murderers here or sex offenders. wheter what he did or not is irrelvent he lost his daughter let him go find peace in his heart. if god can forgive him why cant we. stupid to let this man go to prison.
Keshet333
11:55 PMJan 02 2009
This is a very unfortunate accident. The fact that the man had custody of the children tells me that he was a good father. In situations such as these, decision making is sometimes not the best. This man will be haunted by this for the rest of his life. They should drop all charges. Isn’t he paying enough for his bad judgment?
Russiawthluv
06:08 PMJan 01 2009
Obviously the man did NOT mean to harm his children. His son and daughter lived with him. He took care of their basic, daily needs. Why would he intentionally bring harm to either child when he has taken care of them so well for their entire lives? There’s no doubt in my mind he made an extremely poor decision. Then again, these two kids were more than likely used to snow, rain and other extreme weather, being that they grew up in that climate. The way he is portrayed by the media is simply unacceptable! Especially with the eye-catching headline..”MAN ALLOWS HIS CHILDREN TO WALK 10 MLES IN DEEP SNOW. 11 YEAR DAUGHTER DEAD FROM HYPOTHERMIA.” For the most part, even if this man wanted a fair trial….how’s he ever going to get one if slanderous & severely misconstrued statements were already pumped out to the masses? That man is in bitter anguish. It’s a “life sentence” if you ask me for this individual to have to spend the remainder of his life knowing his poor decision resulted in the…
The comments also indicate that people don’t know that sociopaths frequently get custody of children. One cannot assume that the parent who has custody is “providing for them.”
It is time for family courts to learn to assess sociopathy and its meaning for parenting. The very least they could do in the case of two sociopathic parents is to educate them about their defects. At least we should tell them, “Look, you are missing all of your decision making social brain, so don’t put yourself in a situation where you will have to choose between your child’s welfare and your own comfort!”
FYI AOL has a poll, I participated and got the following results:
Poll Results
Do you think a murder charge is warranted in this case?
No 47% 101,555
Yes 31% 66,279
I’m not sure 22% 46,384
I agree that in more “primitive” societies, such a solution might work. Unfortunately in ours it is called “murder.” I don’t know if it was you or someone else who mentioned this study before but it IS an interesting study.
In the Law of Moses in the Old Testament, a “child” who was uncontrollable was put to death if his parents brought him to the elders.
I spent some time in Mexico with the Lochindoni (spelling?) Indians and there was an anthropologist there who was studying them and had been living with them for quite some time. He was convinced that they were a “gentle” people until one night the man in whose hut he was staying came home and savagely beat his entire family nearly to death. The anthropologist sat in horror. The next day when we were leaving, he asked if he could fly out with us to get away, because the man who had beaten his family acted as if “nothing happened” but then said to the anthropologist “You know, I’d like to kill you but if I did the police would come and I would have to move my hut and it would be too much trouble.”
As we were flying out, he was furiously RE-writing his notes. I wondered many years later if this Indian was a “psychopath” of if this periodic violence was “normal” in that culture. I never followed up on any of it though.
In a wolf pack if there is a pup who is “uncontrollable” and will not take instructions from the pack leaders (his parents) he will be killed. In my cow herd there was a “P” cow that I had who had a high status (there is a strict pecking order in a herd) and she ABUSED her status by just randomly hurting other cows or their calves, and eventually 3 cows teamed up on her and beat her nearly to death, pushing her to the BOTTOM of the pecking order. They literally shunned her from then on. She deserved it for her bad behavior. I have never actually observed that in a cow herd before or since, but it makes sense to me because if the “pecking order” is observed properly there is no violence except playing in calves and no one gets hurt or constantly abused, even if they are on the “low” end of the pecking order.
Occasionally, wolf packs will have a “Zeta” dog which is actively abused (and eventually starves to death or is killed) by the entire pack, who seem to take pleasure in being “mean” to this animal. Depriving it of food etc even if there is plenty. I’ve seen films of this, though never actually observed it in the wild or even tame animals.
Oc-D: Interesting observations. My point about the Inuit was that they understood the P to the extent that they even had a word for that type. I don’t recommend their solution, but I know there are times when we are tempted to consider outrageous solutions to their outrageous behavior.
Oxy and Rune: I live in New England … we just go ice fishing in the winter months … cut a hole in the ice … have them bend over to grab a fish … oopppss!
Personally, Rune, I think their “solution” MAKES PERFECT SENSE in a small subsistence situation that might mean “life or death” to the ENTIRE group if there is a human predator/trouble maker in the group. In a group that is small enough that “everyone knows everyone else” I imagine it would almost be a consensus on “handling the situation.” Might also tend to get the “bad genes” out of the group as well. Group cooperation in situations where everyone’s life depends on ALL the group cooperating and no one person “rocking the boat” it is just a survival tactic for the group.
I imagine if we were in a “life boat” situation with limited water, food, and resources, and there was a Psychopath aboard who endangered us all, he would be pitched over board by several of the party, if that is what was obviously the only way any of the group would survive.
What a depressing story! Not entirely dissimilar to the nightmare my stepchildren endure. Their mother can’t hold a job, has excuses for everything, goes through men like toilet paper, has molested her son in the past, gave all three of them up for 2 months, without asking for them back, so she could live the single life until we took her to court for them. Then she fought tooth and nail for them. Now that she has joint control over them, she doesn’t know what to do with them. She gives them to her mother and lets her 6 year old son ride the bus to our house on her weeks, knowing I’m gone picking up my kids from school. Then, she’s late and lets him run around the neighborhood alone until she shows up. It’s just a matter of time, folks. I know it. It’s just a matter of time before she’s obsessing about something so much that her kids get hurt, lost, stolen, etc.
OxD
In that tribe The P was a defect in Brain Chemistry or nature ! Genetic vs Learned behavior , I would say that this may help devide the differences?
Now If it’s 4% of Pop. Better start Building now because that’s a lot of people to House and manage ! Detainies ! Obama is going to Love this Stimulous Building plan :)~
I think their solution makes sense, too. There really isn’t any other solution, at present, if we are unable to “fix” them and they do not respond to punishment or consequences, and do not learn from past mistakes. We can’t do that, however. We are bound by laws and by our own morals and kind natures. Apparently (I’ve never tried, of course), its actually quite hard for “normal” people to take the life of another. The military needs to train it’s soldiers by conditioning them – first through video games, and then targets – to shoot at people. Apparently the rates of “firing” in WW2 were poor. They were much better in Vietnam because soliders were trained, in simulation, (target practice with human shaped targets) repeatedly, and hence conditioned.
It’s not our nature to kill. In the situation Oxdrover described, on the lifeboat, we could.
I think we need to continue to do the scientific research on the brain to figure out what is wrong, and then correct it. Someday everybody (or maybe those at risk – as determined by their family trees), could have their brain scanned, in childhood, for the dysfuntion of the sociopath (i.e. irregularities in the frontal lobe, amygdala, and other parts shown to be deficient in the sociopath), and then corrected.
We’ve learned how to vaccinate, and treat other diseases and disorders. My hope is that someday we can correct this problem.
In the past people didn’t think we could address psychosis – like in Schizophrenia – and thought those people afflicted were “evil” or “overtaken by the devil.” Although we can’t cure schizophrenia, with advances in recent decades we have learned that we can manage it, with medication. Someday we may be able to do something with Sociopaths. Of course it couldn’t be medication – because they wouldn’t take it. But something……
Oxy: Instead of pitching the psycho overboard he can become Soylent Green. (LOL)
Healing Heart: Well, I think (yes, I do think some times) that we should teach GREED in the school systems and show people how they can get wrapped up in their selfish ways and be so clouded and consumed with GREED they don’t realize the extent of it’s destruction … not only to themselves but others.
Sounds like a solid plan to me.
That was my Idea!