Question: Why do people engage in aggressive behaviour (some, as we know, rather more than others)?
Answer: Because they enjoy it.
There’s a bit of a flutter on the internet (see here and here) about research coming out of Vanderbilt University. Studying mice, Maria Couppis and Craig Kennedy have found that aggression can be as emotionally rewarding as food or sex.
The neurotransmitter dopamine has been implicated in nearly every experience we consider rewarding, such as love, drugs, eating, and sex. Indeed, the mesolimbic dopamine pathway is referred to as the reward system of the brain. Dopamine is necessary for reinforcement, e.g. the ex-smoker’s craving brought about by the whiff of cigarette smoke.
Now a direct connection has been drawn between dopamine and aggression. In the experiement the male home mouse continually pushed a button to let in an intruder mouse which it then aggressed. When treated with a dopamine antagonist (blocking the activity of the dopamine) the home mouse decreased its button-pushing. (For a discussion of the experiment see here.)
(Incidentally, it is important not to conflate aggression and violence. Aggression is dominating behaviour. For the mice aggressive behavior included tail rattle, an aggressive sideways stance, boxing and biting – two non-violent and two non-violent behaviours.)
“We learned from these experiments that an individual will intentionally seek out an aggressive encounter solely because they experience a rewarding sensation from it,” Kennedy said. “This shows for the first time that aggression, on its own, is motivating, and that the well-known positive reinforcer dopamine plays a critical role.”
Not that surprising?
I suspect that lovefraud/blog readers who have been on the receiving end of aggression won’t be surprised by these findings. Says Dr. Bliss at Maggies’ farm, “I cannot speak about mice, but every psychiatrist – and every person – knows that this is a fact for human beings.”
Any comments?
A query I have is runs something like this. Many commentators on this blog speak of increased assertiveness, anger, determination, etc. which has enabled them to get through relationships with psychopaths, to gain self-respect, and to make new lives. Would you say that you have learned to better access aggression? And if so, is there pleasure in it?
QUOTE: KIM FREDERICKS: “…I became very aggressive. It kind of bothers me now, because I justify my behavior by telling myself he drove me to it, and that is classic abuser speak”.but I still feel that way, in a sense. Did I find pleasure in it? I suppose, in a way I did. It made me feel like I was standing up for myself, and demanding better treatment”but I know now that it is a false sense of empowerment, because I never had the power to change him in any way, and no matter what I did, he was gonna do what he was gonna do. The only real pleasure I experienced as empowement was when I gave up, and moved on. When I went NC, and eventually was able NOT TO REACT to him”now that felt good. Really good. ”
Kim, I can so relate to what you wrote above….and that feeling of “standing up for myself” when I had a false sense of I could change how they behaved if I “stood up” for myself.
GREAT POINTS, Kim!!!!
I totally get this one too, Kim. But you expressed it beautifully!
LL
i have been getting whiffs of gas in my apt. the last few days. i called the landlord 3 times.
saw him today. asked him if he had had the furnace looked at. he say yes. i say by who. he says himself. then he says the plumber. i say ha.
. i say what am i supposed to do, just suck gas? he says it costs money to have someone look at it. duh. he says noone else smells it. i say where is the furnace room? (under my kitchen where i am smelling the gas). he says it’s 4 feet out from my kitchen. i say you think gas can’t travel 4 feet?
he grumbles going up the stairs. i hear the word nuts. i go after his bullying ass. he starts spouting off on me. i tell to make a list of his complaints. and that he better SMARTEN UP!
don’t know if this will have bad repercussions on me. i feel freed by it. i didn’t take any bullying crap. i did not plead, whine of try to be nice. i asked him questions. i challenged his bull and his whiner.
he is a piece of scum. i have been being very nice to him to keep him off balance.
i have also been afraid of his bully crap. seems that isn’t the case today. he doesn’t have someone in tomorrow to look at it, i take him to property standards.
i feel liberated. hope it lasts.
One,
Exactly!!!
I have been meaning to write here that the notion of agression means one thing on our side of the fence and another on the disordered side.
For us, its about coming from a lack of ASSERTION of our rights and legitimate needs that we experience as being aggressive – it isn’t the way the article describes but it is far more “out there” than most of us have been accustomed to being.
Take names, pull badges. We don’t Have to put up with it. Fact is, we never did. And most of us never really understood it the way we do now…..
Dear One,
CALL THE GAS COMPANY!!!! ASAP!!!!! They will get someone out there and bill your land lord! And yes, it will probably have some flow back, but if you truly smell gas, this is not something to negotiate about. You also might be getting some carbonmonoxide and that does not have an odor.
We had a furnace malfunction a few years ago and I did not have a carbonmonoxide detector and we almost died! A gas leak can mean a leak, or it can mean it is incompletely burning and so you are smelling the gas but NOT smelling the monoxide with it because of the incomplete combustion.
I now have a carbon monoxide detector as well as a fire detector and smoke detector—and a parrot that mimics it (OUCH!!!) but if I use all the burners in the stove cooking for a while, it will go off it is so sensitive!
That might account for some of your medical problems and the feeling of being stressed. CO has 4 x the affinity for the hemoglobin that O-2 does and it robs the body of O-2 by hanging on to the available spots on the hemoglobin so the blood cannot transport the O-2.
One
OMG! One of my dearest friends is JUST NOW going through this at her HOME! IT WAS HER FURNACE!!! Which today is being REPLACED. The carbonmonoxide meter was OFF THE CHARTS IN THEIR HOME AND WAS UNDETECTED UNTIL THE GAS COMPANY SHOWED UP YESTERDAY!!!
ASAP CHICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LL
I wasn’t thinking! Yes, call the Gas company!
There was a situation here last year where gas collected in a trench behind the church in the village.
It blew the back wall off the building!
Absolutely call the gas company. Don’t wait for the landlord!
If you call and say I smell gas, they will come. FAST~!
Hi, Guys!
Im not going to apologise for my raunchy posts,{altho I have asked for them to be deleted.} I think its a sign Im getting liberated and freed up inside. Now 2 years come thisJune since I last saw” the Leech,” ie, spath daughter no.1
Dont miss her now, hardly ever worry about her{I used to worry about her 24/7}.Whats to miss?
Yesterday I did a survey {on the website Narcissism Support respources,},”The Narcissistic Vampire checklist,” It said, if the person has 7 or more of these traits, then they are Narc vampire. Out of 20 questions, she scored 18!
Yea, I know I probably goofed sending a cheque for $200–
to my SIL, I felt so sorry for him.So Boink me upside the Haid!he has made bad choices too, ie, taking the GF to India last July when he owed over A$50,000 in Credit card debt. he told me he has just been paying the interest on them for the last 4 years.he still smokes cigs, and pot, too.
How come he can afford to do that?
Her husband used to believe the incredibl e lies she told him about me, and thats why he did not protest at me being banned from her wedding in1994. But my present Husband got an invite!Naturally he didnt go.
Ive wasted way too much of my brain cells trying to work out WHY she and her sister are like this,-waste of time, I know now Ill NEVER ever get any closure, except NC for life.
THIS IS THE WAY THESE SICK BIATCHES ARE. No good feeling sorry for them,they did it to themselves, with no help from me.I refute the lie that I wasa bad Mother. I did the very best I could in impossible circumstances. Looking back, its a wonder I made it out alive, or even half way sane.!
I used to think,”Maybe if I just loved them more forgave them more, gave them more, understood them more, the nice person inside of them will one day emerge.!” WRONG thinking! Stinkin thinkin! There is NO nice person inside to emerge. This is who they are.
Didnt happen, wont happen, Ive been waiting over 30 years.NC is th only thing taht works for me.And it DOES get easier with time.
Forgiveness is for ME, I need to forgive myself .
Love,
Mama gemXX
MamaGem,
Maybe it’s because you were so giving that they learned to be so taking.
I was/am so angry at my parents for the way they raised me. They gave, gave, gave to my spath bro and sis but they ignored my good sis and me. Now they are seeing that the spoiled ones are SPOILED, ROTTEN FRUIT. I guess there is a reason why it’s called “spoiled”. (sometimes we take the deeper meanings in the English language for granted).
In a way, I’m glad that they didn’t spoil me because I would NOT want to turn out like my HORRIBLE brother and sister. I prefer being the pathetic doormat that I am!
My spath sister actually told my mom, “I know I’m selfish, I’ve always been that way, it’s just the way I am.” and she told me, “Everybody is evil, it’s ok to be evil”. She is as stupid as she is evil. (is that a good thing?)
My spath brother is very good at hiding his evil and lives using a constant pity ploy. I found out why he emailed me to tell me how much he loves me. It’s because he saw that I had put a web cam in the room I have at my parents’ house, so he was going to start fishing to find out if I saw him snooping in there. LOL. The web cam doesn’t even work but he doesn’t know that.
Anyways, being the giving and loving person you are is not wrong, Gem. You just have to know who to give to. Don’t let users tug at your heart strings because there is a never ending stream of users out there with their hands out. Jesus said “don’t throw your pearls before swine.” Keep that always in mind.
((hugs))
Thank you so much Sky!! I appreciate everything youve written.Ill try very hard from now on not to cast my pearls before swine,{and there are a lot of swine out there!}Huggles,
Mama gemXX