UPDATED FOR 2021. Why do we escape one sociopathic partner, only to be hooked by a sociopath again? It happens. A lot. Here's an example: A reader first joined Lovefraud in 2008, as she was scrambling to get away from a man who she thought was her true love, but turned out to be a sociopath. She read Lovefraud articles and posted comments for a couple of years, and then moved on. Six years later, she sent me an email with the subject line, "I'm back." She'd become involved with another sociopath. "How could I be so stupid?" she wrote. "And this time is much much much much worse than the last." Another sociopath Why does this happen? Why do we get rid of one problem person, only …
Is this man insecure, a jerk or a sociopath?
UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Shanmoo." This article was originally published in 2014, but the message is timeless. Shanmoo wanted to know if the guy she dated is a jerk or a sociopath. Donna Andersen's comments follow the letter. I can't believe I've had to come back here after five years. I had a spath boyfriend in 2008-2009, and spent many a night on this site. However, I did move forward, and I believed I had dealt with all the issues, karma and justice happened and in fact I met a decent guy. Unfortunately we went our separate ways because of my illness, at that time. My relationship with …
Lessons after the sociopath: Real love is easy
UPDATED FOR 2021: On this Valentines Day, if you've been previously devastated by a sociopath, you may wonder if you can ever love again. The answer is yes. And here's a bit of wisdom that will help you decide if a new romantic partner is authentic and true: Real love is easy. I am living proof. In February 2000, I was divorced from James Montgomery, who took a quarter of a million dollars from me, cheated throughout our brief two-and-a-half-year relationship, had a child with another woman while married to me, and then married that woman 10 days after I left him, committing bigamy. I was crushed. After I left Montgomery, I had one nice relationship with a man, although it didn't turn …
Don Charles Andrew Tyler Grey Fletcher AKA Andrew Funches AKA Ty Fortner now scams women internationally
Here's more proof that sociopaths never stop scamming. Back in June 2012, Lovefraud published a story about Andrew Funches, AKA Ty Fortner, scamming more than 10 women. Now, eight years later, we learn that he has a new name — Don Charles Andrew Tyler Grey Fletcher — but the same game. Except, where he once operated mostly in Chicago, he's now looking for targets in London and Barcelona! Yes, he legally changed his name to Don Charles Andrew Tyler Grey Fletcher. Having so many names is convenient, because he mixes and matches them, depending on the current scam. For example, in addition to scamming women, he was operating a bartending/catering business and proceeded to scam couples who …
Joe Biden corruption allegations – what the media and big tech won’t tell you
All of us who have tangled with sociopaths have experienced stonewalling. We ask a question. We demand to know what is going on. The sociopath refuses to answer, changes the subject and accuses us of being unfair, paranoid and mentally unbalanced. Today we are witnessing a massive stonewalling campaign by big media and big tech in regards to the Joe Biden corruption allegations. Media and big tech are trying to prevent you from making an informed decision. This is truly frightening. I am a journalist. I graduated from one of the premiere journalism schools in the United States, the S. I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University. I won the Gannet Foundation Award. …
Joe Biden corruption allegations – what the media and big tech won’t tell youRead More
Sociopathy is a spectrum — but not so bad is still bad
The New York Times publishes a feature called "Modern Love." Last week they ran an article by a woman who wrote that sociopathy is a spectrum disorder, and she has it. The author, Patric Gagne, says she knew since age seven that she was different. Because she lacked empathy and emotions, she would get in trouble for the adrenaline rush, just to be able to feel something. She was eventually diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Recognizing that getting in trouble could lead to problems in her life, she stopped breaking into houses and instead earned a Ph.D. in psychology. She also got married and had children. Here's the article — please take a few minutes to read it: He …
Sociopathy is a spectrum — but not so bad is still badRead More
Power and control by Twitter and Facebook
Here's a scary reality — sociopaths engage in impression management, and exerting power and control, in order to advance their agenda. Organizations do it too — which was on full display last week when Twitter and Facebook took extraordinary steps to block you from seeing news that they didn't want you to see. The New York Post published two bombshell stories last week: Hunter Biden emails show leveraging connections with his father to boost Burisma pay Emails reveal how Hunter Biden tried to cash in big on behalf of family with Chinese firm Have you heard about these shocking stories? If you didn't, it's probably because Twitter blocked users from sharing the links, Facebook …
Evil sociopaths: When they reveal themselves, believe them
Sometimes evil sociopaths will tell us exactly who they are. Unfortunately, many of us refuse to believe them. I've heard this many times from Lovefraud readers. Their romantic partner said things like: "I'm really not a very nice person." "You should get away from me. I'll ruin your life." "I'm a sociopath." But instead of running for the hills, the people who heard these statements stayed in the relationships. Needless to say, they turned out badly. Why do we do it? Why, when someone comes out and tells us that they will hurt us — at least emotionally, if not worse — why do we ignore the warning and stay? I can think of several reasons: We do not know that sociopaths …
Evil sociopaths: When they reveal themselves, believe themRead More
Why it hurts to leave the sociopath
Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader asking why it hurt to leave the sociopath: Why would a person become distraught when the narc/sociopath that has wronged them gives them the silent treatment? I have ridden the merry go round for 10 years with a guy that has cheated and not told the truth. We break up (usually me pushing him away and him acting the victim and then we never can stay away.) He begs, I reject and then he retreats and I feel overwrought. Horrible. I feel heartbroken every single time. So hard to understand and get out of this cycle. Any explanation? Actually, there are two explanations, rooted in human psychology, for why it hurts to leave the …
Everyday kindnesses of love after the sociopath
Yes, there is love after the sociopath, and the proof is in the kiwi tart that my husband, Terry Kelly, made for us today. We received a gift box of fruit, including golden kiwis. It came with a recipe for a kiwi tart. Yesterday, Terry bought the rest of the ingredients. This morning, he made the tart. Why is the timing significant? Because I have hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar. I need to monitor my sugar intake, and if I eat sweets too late in the day, such as after dinner, the sugar keeps me awake half the night. Terry made the tart early so we could enjoy it with our lunch, and I'd be able to sleep later. This is just the latest of the multitude of pleasures and kindnesses that …