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Author Archive: Donna Andersen

Donna Andersen is the author of Lovefraud.com.

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If we want something different, we need to do something different
By June 23, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

If we want something different, we need to do something different

Amber Ault

By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

I’m fond of this axiom: “If you want something different from what you’ve had, you need to do something different from what you’ve done.”

Here’s an important corollary: Doing something different will, at first, feel strange.

When we envision something different for ourselves and begin to practice creating it, it’s important to prepare to receive it. Otherwise, new possibilities will be assimilated by the powerful machinery of old patterns and we’ll continue to feel stuck. It’s not enough to want something different, or even to envision it. In order to create something different, we must release the barriers — often unconscious — that stand in its way. We need to lay in new skills, including tolerating the discomforts of receiving the goodness we desire.

This is a preview of If we want something different, we need to do something different. Read the full post (1521 words, 1 image, estimated 6:05 mins reading time)
Posted in: Lovefraud Continuing Education, Lovefraud Professional Resources
Freeing oneself from a sociopath is challenging and can be dangerous
By June 22, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Freeing oneself from a sociopath is challenging and can be dangerous

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 47: Divorcing a Sociopath–Round II

This is a preview of Freeing oneself from a sociopath is challenging and can be dangerous. Read the full post (1118 words, 1 image, estimated 4:28 mins reading time)
Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, O.N. Ward
 
Sociopaths and double lives
By June 21, 2017 1 Comments Read More →

Sociopaths and double lives

Man with maskA reporter inquired about people who live double lives. Why do they do it? Can they maintain double lives for a long time? What are the dangers?

Like most of us at Lovefraud, I have some experience with this. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, cheated with at least six different women during our 2.5-year marriage. He had a child with one of the women. Ten days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which was the second time he committed bigamy. And of course, he took a quarter-million dollars from me—spending much of the money entertaining these other women.

This is a preview of Sociopaths and double lives. Read the full post (887 words, 1 image, estimated 3:33 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath
Raw power and control — the core of what sociopaths want
By June 19, 2017 1 Comments Read More →

Raw power and control — the core of what sociopaths want

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Maisie.”

Here is my story. I would be grateful for any thoughts as I’m still trying to make sense of something I went through.

I was in the very best relationship for 25 years and then he died.

Afterwards I was utterly heartbroken and alone as a result I think of being still quite young in my circle of friends and them not being able to cope with the tragedy.

In the village where I lived a newcomer stopped me whilst I was walking to introduce himself. He would stop from time to time to talk to me.

This is a preview of Raw power and control — the core of what sociopaths want. Read the full post (1148 words, 1 image, estimated 4:36 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath
 
Michelle Carter, 20, guilty of manslaughter for texting Conrad Roy III to kill himself
By June 17, 2017 3 Comments Read More →

Michelle Carter, 20, guilty of manslaughter for texting Conrad Roy III to kill himself

Back in 2014, Conrad Roy III, then 17, was struggling with depression. His ex-girlfriend, Michelle Carter, then 17, knew it. On July 12, Conrad prepared to commit suicide — and Carter sent him dozens of text messages, urging him to do it. Following are some of the messages:

Some of the text messages from Michelle Carter to Conrad Roy urging him to commit suicide.

Carter was convicted of involuntary manslaughter on Friday.

The victim’s mother, Lynn Roy, says Carter has no conscience.


This is a preview of Michelle Carter, 20, guilty of manslaughter for texting Conrad Roy III to kill himself. Read the full post (134 words, 1 image, estimated 32 secs reading time)
Posted in: Female sociopaths, Media sociopaths
Sociopaths keep the charade going as long as it suits their purpose
By June 16, 2017 1 Comments Read More →

Sociopaths keep the charade going as long as it suits their purpose

man in maskI was with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, for two and a half years. During this time, I knew he was costing me money, but he attributed his lack of business success to “being ahead of his time.” I eventually discovered that he was lying and cheating on me. But although I saw eruptions of anger, my ex was never abusive towards me—nothing like the abuse many of you have endured.

Some sociopaths can treat people reasonably well for an extended period of time, if it suits their purpose. For example, Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader:

This is a preview of Sociopaths keep the charade going as long as it suits their purpose. Read the full post (682 words, 1 image, estimated 2:44 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath
Realizing a sociopath has no ethical compass or moral boundaries is brutal
By June 15, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Realizing a sociopath has no ethical compass or moral boundaries is brutal

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 46B: Divorcing A Sociopath—Round I

My breath caught. My chest tightened. Fear welled inside me. I swallowed, trying to coax moisture back to my mouth so that I could speak and conceal how scared I was of Paul in that moment and of what might happen in the future.

This is a preview of Realizing a sociopath has no ethical compass or moral boundaries is brutal. Read the full post (1176 words, 1 image, estimated 4:42 mins reading time)
Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, O.N. Ward
Confusion: The top warning sign of an abusive relationship
By June 14, 2017 5 Comments Read More →

Confusion: The top warning sign of an abusive relationship

When someone is involved in an abusive relationship, the most prominent warning sign is likely to be confusion, explains Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT. People who are involved with abusers can’t figure out what is going on — and sometimes counselors misinterpret their clients’ confusion.

Mary Ann will be presenting her Lovefraud CE program, Love and Exploitation, on July 17 and July 24, 2017. This program offers 4 continuing education credit hours for psychologists and social workers.


This is a preview of Confusion: The top warning sign of an abusive relationship. Read the full post (212 words, 0 images, estimated 51 secs reading time)
Posted in: Lovefraud Continuing Education
Videos of serial killer Todd Kohlhepp, who kept woman chained in a container
By June 13, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Videos of serial killer Todd Kohlhepp, who kept woman chained in a container

Todd Kohlhepp of Moore, S.C. Kohlhepp was arrested Thursday, Nov. 3, 2016, in connection to a woman being found chained inside a storage container on a property in Woodruff, SC. (Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office via AP)

Last year, sheriff’s deputies from Spartanburg County, South Carolina, found Kala Brown chained by her neck in a shipping container on property owned by Todd Kohlhepp.

Kala’s boyfriend, Charlie Carver, was dead. had shot him.

And he wasn’t the only person Kohlhepp had killed. In May, Kohlhepp was sentenced to seven consecutive life terms in prison. He pleaded guilty to seven counts of murder, two counts of kidnapping and one count of criminal sexual conduct.

This is a preview of Videos of serial killer Todd Kohlhepp, who kept woman chained in a container. Read the full post (151 words, 1 image, estimated 36 secs reading time)
Posted in: Media sociopaths, Sociopaths as predators
A mother asks: ‘What is my responsibility toward my sociopathic adult son?’
By June 12, 2017 6 Comments Read More →

A mother asks: ‘What is my responsibility toward my sociopathic adult son?’

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call, “Margaret Louise.”

Please point me in the direction for good advice about recovering from heartache caused by my adult son, who is a sociopath. And, help me realize my responsibilities as his parent.

Joshua is 33 years old. He has 3 children by 3 different women. While he is in the relationship with the women, I am blacklisted from contact with my grandchildren. As the relationships fall apart, and the mothers realize they’ve been duped, I can begin to have that cherished relationship with my grandchildren and fortunately with the mothers. 

This is a preview of A mother asks: ‘What is my responsibility toward my sociopathic adult son?’. Read the full post (998 words, 1 image, estimated 4:0 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, For parents of sociopaths

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