UPDATED FOR 2020 A girl walks into a bar. A band was playing and the place was packed, so there were no empty bar stools. The girl had had a rough few years. First she married a man who turned out to be a con artist that took all her money. Then she dated a guy who wasn't a con artist, but broke her heart. A tall, nice-looking man leaned against the bar. He offered the girl a place to put her coat. Then he offered to buy the girl a drink. She accepted. They chatted. They danced. And they lived happily ever after. This story is true. The girl is me, and this happened on April 28, 2001, when I met Terry Kelly, the man who became my husband. Did I know on that day that I had …
FREE Lovefraud talk group when you buy the Best of the Lovefraud Blog Series
Discussion Groups April 23 - May 21, 2020 My new book series, Best of the Lovefraud Blog, is a collection of my best Lovefraud articles. They explain, in bite-sized pieces, how sociopaths behave, how they seduce their romantic partners, how to interact with them if you must, and how to recover from the emotional and psychological damage that they cause. Buy the collection, and you are automatically invited to join the weekly Lovefraud Discussion Group. We'll talk via a private videoconference, although you can also join by phone if you like. I'll do a short presentation on a topic related to recovery from sociopaths, and then open the floor for questions and comments. Discussion …
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Narcissistic abuse — how to spot it, what to do about it
Due to technical difficulties, the revised webinar is cancelled. The original version is still available. Until recently, there was no recognition in the mental health field of narcissistic abuse. Plenty of people suffered psychological and emotional abuse, gaslighting, and complex PTSD, but there was no term for what the perpetrators were doing. Narcissistic abuse still is not an official term or recognized in the bible of psychiatry — the DSM-5. But because of the Internet and social media, survivors are talking about it, and now therapists are too. Tiffany J. Kettermann, LPC, specializes in treating survivors of narcissistic abuse, and in this webinar she teaches therapists to …
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How to remain calm and collected during family court cross-examination
If you will be facing an abusive ex during family court cross-examination, your emotional state is probably somewhere between apprehensive and terrified. You know how he or she twists the truth. You may have discovered that your ex's attorney is just as bad. But when they make unfounded accusations against you, will you be able to remain calm and collected so you can refute their lies? Yes — if you are prepared. Lovefraud's upcoming webinar will help you prepare: Take back your throne: Reclaim your power in family court cross-examination Presented by Attorney Caroline Solo Wednesday, March 18, 8 - 9 pm ET Thursday, March 19, 10 - 11 am (AET Australian Eastern Time) Restore your …
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Antisocials, psychopaths and sex: What you need to know
UPDATED FOR 2020 Most Lovefraud readers are here because you were, or are, romantically involved with someone who has a serious personality disorder. Usually romance leads to sex, although you may have noticed that sex with a an antisocial or psychopath isn't particularly romantic. The sex may be exciting, erotic and adventurous. But if you're looking for a true connection, the "sacred conjunction," you're not going to find it with an antisocial or psychopath, and here's why: Power, control and sex According to Dr. Liane Leedom, people who have antisocial or psychopathic personality disorder want three things in life: Power, control and sex. Often, sex is simply an extension of …
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Fotis Dulos, charged in wife’s murder, dead after suicide attempt
UPDATE for 2020 Fotis Dulos, charged with kidnapping and murder in his wife's disappearance, has died. He had been in critical condition due to carbon monoxide poisoning after an apparent suicide attempt. Read the article: Fotis Dulos, Connecticut man charged in wife Jennifer Dulos' murder, dead after suicide attempt, lawyer says, on Foxnews.com. Original Lovefraud story — June 5, 2019: Jennifer Dulos disappearance: Warning signs in the custody battle Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five from New Canaan, Connecticut, has been missing since May 24, 2019. Since her blood was on clothing and sponges found in 30 garbage bags that her estranged husband, Fotis Dulos, was …
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Criminal profilers discuss the Chris Watts murders
UPDATED FOR 2020 https://youtu.be/s1qORsx8veo Mary Ann Glynn, who is a Lovefraud webinar presenter, recently appeared on a panel of criminal profilers to discuss the Chris Watts murders. Watts' wife and two young daughters disappeared on August 13, 2018. Two days later, Watts was arrested and subsequently confessed to murdering them all. In this video, Mary Ann Glynn explains why she believes Watts is disordered, and what motivated his actions. Here is Lovefraud's original coverage of the story: Is Chris Watts, who killed his pregnant wife and kids, a sociopath? When his wife and daughters were missing in August, Chris Watts pleaded for their safe return. Then the …
3 self-care steps to begin your recovery from narcissistic abuse
If you have tangled with anyone who has an exploitative and manipulative personality disorder, you have endured narcissistic abuse. What, exactly, does that mean? Good question. "Narcissistic abuse" is not an official term listed in the bible of mental health, which is the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association). If you Google the term, you'll find the circular definition that narcissistic abuse is abuse inflicted by a narcissist. Mental health officialdom does not seem to have a good understanding of how these disordered individuals behave in romantic, family or other relationships. So looking for answers, we, the targets, have turned to the …
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Video: Mandy Friedman, LPCC, on Self-Care for Survivors
https://youtu.be/qRH9C6E2w4g If you feel confused, shocked and devastated during, or after, a relationship with a sociopath — according to Mandy Friedman, LPCC, you feel exactly like most victims. You may also feel angry, heartbroken, and like your entire self-concept has been shattered. Now what? How do you rebuild yourself? A critical step, Mandy says, is self-care. That's exactly what she will teach you in her upcoming webinar. For more information, and to sign up, go to the link below. Mandy will give her presentation, and then answer your questions. Self-Care for Survivors Presented by Mandy Friedman, LPCC, CCDVC Thursday, January 23, 8 - 9 pm ET • $25 More info …
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Sociopathic seduction: As long as it takes
UPDATED FOR 2019 I confess. I am one of those people who fell for the sociopathic seduction. I was swept up in the excitement, sex and love bombing by the sociopath and committed to the relationship far too quickly. James Montgomery proposed to me four days after we met in person. I said yes. I sometimes excuse myself by explaining that we'd been corresponding via e-mail for about a month after meeting online, so it wasn't like I only knew him for four days. But then, of course, a month isn't very long either. I take some comfort in the fact that I am certainly not alone. Many, many people describe the beginning of their relationship with a sociopath as a "whirlwind romance." In …