How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Her husband was a sociopath, and her whole marriage was a lie

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as Gigi2020, who says her whole marriage was a lie. Donna Andersen responds at the end of her story. Letter from Gigi20 I just recently learned that my ex husband lied to me about what I'm guessing is everything, our whole marriage was a lie. I am having a hard time comprehending that he would be able to live his charade for 8 years. I caught him in small lies our whole marriage but I would brush them off. When he drank, which was most of our relationship, but the last year and a half, the red flags were all over the place. However he had told me that he was in an explosion in Iraq, which caused a brain injury …

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Joe Biden corruption allegations – what the media and big tech won’t tell you

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All of us who have tangled with sociopaths have experienced stonewalling. We ask a question. We demand to know what is going on. The sociopath refuses to answer, changes the subject and accuses us of being unfair, paranoid and mentally unbalanced. Today we are witnessing a massive stonewalling campaign by big media and big tech in regards to the Joe Biden corruption allegations. Media and big tech are trying to prevent you from making an informed decision. This is truly frightening. I am a journalist. I graduated from one of the premiere journalism schools in the United States, the S. I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University. I won the Gannet Foundation Award. …

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Sociopathy is a spectrum — but not so bad is still bad

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The New York Times publishes a feature called "Modern Love." Last week they ran an article by a woman who wrote that sociopathy is a spectrum disorder, and she has it. The author, Patric Gagne, says she knew since age seven that she was different. Because she lacked empathy and emotions, she would get in trouble for the adrenaline rush, just to be able to feel something. She was eventually diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Recognizing that getting in trouble could lead to problems in her life, she stopped breaking into houses and instead earned a Ph.D. in psychology. She also got married and had children. Here's the article — please take a few minutes to read it: He …

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Power and control by Twitter and Facebook

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Here's a scary reality — sociopaths engage in impression management, and exerting power and control, in order to advance their agenda. Organizations do it too — which was on full display last week when Twitter and Facebook took extraordinary steps to block you from seeing news that they didn't want you to see. The New York Post published two bombshell stories last week: Hunter Biden emails show leveraging connections with his father to boost Burisma pay Emails reveal how Hunter Biden tried to cash in big on behalf of family with Chinese firm Have you heard about these shocking stories? If you didn't, it's probably because Twitter blocked users from sharing the links, Facebook …

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Evil sociopaths: When they reveal themselves, believe them

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Sometimes evil sociopaths will tell us exactly who they are. Unfortunately, many of us refuse to believe them. I've heard this many times from Lovefraud readers. Their romantic partner said things like: "I'm really not a very nice person." "You should get away from me. I'll ruin your life." "I'm a sociopath." But instead of running for the hills, the people who heard these statements stayed in the relationships. Needless to say, they turned out badly. Why do we do it? Why, when someone comes out and tells us that they will hurt us — at least emotionally, if not worse — why do we ignore the warning and stay? I can think of several reasons: We do not know that sociopaths …

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Why it hurts to leave the sociopath

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Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader asking why it hurt to leave the sociopath: Why would a person become distraught when the narc/sociopath that has wronged them gives them the silent treatment? I have ridden the merry go round for 10 years with a guy that has cheated and not told the truth. We break up (usually me pushing him away and him acting the victim and then we never can stay away.) He begs, I reject and then he retreats and I feel overwrought. Horrible. I feel heartbroken every single time. So hard to understand and get out of this cycle. Any explanation? Actually, there are two explanations, rooted in human psychology, for why it hurts to leave the …

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Everyday kindnesses of love after the sociopath

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Yes, there is love after the sociopath, and the proof is in the kiwi tart that my husband, Terry Kelly, made for us today. We received a gift box of fruit, including golden kiwis. It came with a recipe for a kiwi tart. Yesterday, Terry bought the rest of the ingredients. This morning, he made the tart. Why is the timing significant? Because I have hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar. I need to monitor my sugar intake, and if I eat sweets too late in the day, such as after dinner, the sugar keeps me awake half the night. Terry made the tart early so we could enjoy it with our lunch, and I'd be able to sleep later. This is just the latest of the multitude of pleasures and kindnesses that …

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Range of sociopathic behavior: From sleazy to serial killer

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UPDATED FOR 2020: Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Jason." It's an opportunity to explain the range of sociopathic behavior. My best friend of 20 years I believe is a sociopath. It's very sad because you want to give a person the benefit of the doubt, but after awhile it becomes apparent. He displays all the characteristics of the sociopath. I'm smart, but I can't convince myself with 100% certainty that he's a sociopath (maybe most people can't.) It's hard to reconcile with it. Is there any advice you can give me? Yes, Jason. First I'll give the somewhat easy explanation; then I'll give the more technical explanation. Cluster of traits and …

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‘Love Fraud’ on Showtime – four-part docu-series begins Sunday Aug. 30

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Love Fraud, a four-part docu-series, is coming to Showtime beginning Sunday, Aug. 30, at 9 pm ET. It's not my story, but that's okay — I'm all in favor of anyone drawing attention to the massive problem of sociopaths using love to manipulate and exploit people. I will be discussing each episode of Love Fraud on Showtime on my Lovefraud Live! YouTube show beginning Tuesday, Sept. 1 at 8 pm ET. This four-part docu-series follows the search for one man, Richard Scott Smith, who over the past 20 years has used the Internet and his dubious charms to prey upon unsuspecting women in search of love — conning them out of their money and dignity. The story as it unravels in real time, as his …

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The smear campaign: when sociopaths lie about you

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UPDATED FOR 2020: It's bad enough that sociopaths lie to hook you. But they also lie about you, which is known as the "smear campaign." Anything they tell you about themselves may be false — their age, education, credentials, family details, income, criminal record, job or work history. And of course, sociopaths typically lie about their relationship history and status. They claim to be single when they are married; they claim to be childless when they have many offspring — even with multiple partners. Sociopaths lie — it's the key characteristic of the disorder. When you fall for the lies, you feel like a chump. But what often turns out to be even more devastating is the lies they …

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