Lovefraud's standard advice for interacting with a sociopath is not to interact at all, to implement a strict policy of No Contact. Unfortunately, this isn't always possible. Perhaps you share children with a sociopathic ex-partner. Or perhaps you have a disordered boss or co-worker, and aren't yet able to find new employment. Or perhaps some member of your family is disordered. If you have no choice but to interact with a problem person, here are some tips that may help you. Do not react emotionally. Sociopaths will often do or say unpleasant things just to provoke a reaction out of you. Do not take the bait. Remember, all sociopaths really want is to win. If they get an emotional …
10 Facts to help you explain your experience with a sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2024. The biggest reason why we get tangled up with sociopaths is because we don't know they exist. We don't know they live among us, so we don't watch out for them, so we get in trouble.Then, when we try to tell our friends and families what happened, they have no idea what we're talking about — because they don't know sociopaths exist either. So on top of the devastation we endure from the sociopath, when we turn to others for support, we are not understood or even believed.If you're trying to explain your experience with a sociopath, here are some facts to help you put your story in context:1 . Approximately 40 million people in the United States — 12% of the population — could …
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Am I a sociopath magnet?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Kristinan32." Donna Andersen responds at the end of it.I've had a long history with NPDs and Sociopaths. Am I some sort of magnet?I am a caring individual, rescue animals, take care of people. Go figure. My daughter's father was one, the last guy I was with was one, up until he died.Two years later, I decided I've 'healed' somewhat after everything, and I see my old friend's brother on a social media site. I never really knew him, so I contacted him, out of the blue. So, we hit it off fast. This is unlike me, I don't take things fast. We talk, we get along, everything's fun and good.He tells me he has mental …
12 Seduction strategies from the Sociopath Playbook
UPDATED FOR 2024. Sociopaths tend to use all the same tactics while reeling in new romantic partners, as if they were all working from the same well-known reference manual. If you were able to find this playbook, written by an alpha sociopath for the benefit of the trainees, here are ploys it would include.1 . Listen intently to your targets, staring into their eyes and hanging on their every word. This encourages them to keep talking — and everything they tell you can later be used as ammunition against them.2. Call, text and email your targets frequently. They will interpret your constant attention as a sign that you are smitten with them, and will not notice that you are establishing c …
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We really want you to feel better — and save money
Dr. Liane Leedom and I have been where you are — crushed after betrayal by a sociopath. We know what it’s like to feel shocked, angry and brokenhearted. It’s awful, and we want you to feel better. So we’re inviting you join Dr. Leedom in her groundbreaking webinar series so you can truly overcome narcissistic abuse. The program is called, Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress, presented by Dr. Liane Leedom. Every Wednesday, from Sept. 25 to Dec. 18, Dr. Leedom will lead an interactive webinar. She will teach you how to overcome narcissistic abuse — yes, this is something you can learn to do. She’ll teach you mindfulness and stress reducti …
Letter to Lovefraud: I’m looking on POF, but I’m scared to move forward
UPDATED FOR 2024. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who gives her pseudonym as “Erica.”I've been in love with a sociopath for 5 and a half years. He lives in Portland and I live here in Vegas so that has been a great thing, however he still haunts me and I'm trying to move on so I'm enclosing a profile from an online dating site and I'd like to get your opinion of the things that he says. I'm scared to move forward because I'm scared that I'll attract another one. I seem to be surrounded by narcissism and sociopathy and I'm tired and I'm scared and I lack trust to move forward. Donna please share my email on lovefraud.com so that I can get some feedback from other members. …
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5 Reasons why the sociopath’s behavior in your relationship makes no sense
UPDATED FOR 2024. Shock. Confusion. Disbelief. These are common experiences when you’re romantically involved with a sociopath. The sociopath's behavior in your relationship makes no sense.You ask yourself, or your friends, or your therapist, questions like:Sociopathic behaviors are so confusing because your expectations about what a romantic relationship is, and how people who are supposed to be in love treat each other, are totally different from those of the sociopath. You believe that when people are in love, you are good and kind to each other. You treat each other with respect. You support and value each other. You don’t lie, and you don’t intentionally hurt each other.Your sociopathic …
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Dear Friend: Please do not take back your sociopathic partner
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor’s note: This is the letter that everyone who has broken up with a sociopathic partner should receive. (It refers to the sociopath as “he,” but the sociopath can also be “she.”)Dear Friend,We’ve known each other for a long time. We’ve been there for each other through thick and thin. I care about you, even though I haven’t been able to spend much time with you recently — ever since he came into your life. I heard that the two of you have broken up. I’m thrilled. Are you surprised? Did you expect me to be upset about your breakup? I’m not. The guy is no good for you. In fact, he’s no good for anyone. You may not want to hear this, but the person who you thought was the …
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Sociopaths and sexually explicit photos
UPDATED FOR 2024. My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, had a collection of photos of naked women. The photos were not of me.I discovered the photos one day while he wasn't home and I was looking for a phone number. I opened his desk drawer, and there they were — no faces, just pictures of certain body parts.Stunned, I threw the photos in the trash. When Montgomery came home, I confronted him."I found your photos. Who are these women?" I demanded.Montgomery was nonchalant. "They're from my past. Nothing for you to worry about.""Why do you have them?" I demanded."I look at them from time to time. It helps me stay faithful to you. Where are they?""I threw them away."At this Montgomery b …
FREE introduction to ‘Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse’
Lovefraud is pleased to announce a new webinar series called, “Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress,” presented by Liane Leedom, M.D.Recovery from the abuse and trauma inflicted by a narcissist, antisocial or psychopath is certainly possible, but it requires effort. In this 13-session program, Dr. Leedom helps you develop the skills to clear your head, deal with stress, gain control of your emotions and create healthy relationships.Please join Dr. Leedom and me for a FREE introductory session:FREE! Your first step towards real recovery from narcissistic abuse and traumaWednesday, Sept. 11, 7-8 pm ET.HighlightsAbout Dr. Liane LeedomDr. Leedom is a …
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