How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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John R. Sperry threatened his wife, Joyce Jaccodie – and then made good on it

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By Stacey Jaccodie As a child, I didn't recognize the signs but they were all there. Sadly, we dubbed my mother's ex-husband's antics: Stupid Sperry tricks. My mother laughed off and even poked at the lion at times, never understanding the danger that lurked beneath the mask. My mother married a sociopath. She didn't know it. No one knew it. It took me years into my adulthood to finally unravel his background and investigate his psyche to learn it. I am not a doctor — I am the daughter of a victim of a sociopath who knows far more today than I'd ever wished for. In 1969, Joyce Jaccodie was a 33-year-old widow with three young daughters to raise. She later met and married a decorated w …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I’m at a loss about what to do (Part 2)

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "WalkingInLight." Read Part 1 here. Towards the end of our separation a man rang me from S's church to see if he could help S and I get back together. He told me he had spoken to S and was now speaking to me to see if he could help. I told him I still loved S but really believed he did not love me. This man said he would talk to S the next time he saw him. Now I have to say that I had not been going to this man's church for a couple of years because the teaching had taken a ”˜strange turn,' so I was at a different church to my husband. Even though my husband agreed about the teaching, he said he couldn't leave that church …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I’m at a loss about what to do (Part 1)

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "WalkingInLight." Part 2 will be posted tomorrow. I am sharing my story with you to clarify it all in my own head and to see if I should be moving out of this relationship. The trouble is, I have been in this marriage for 20 years (minus some years of separation) and though I know it's not normal, I have got used to it, and don't know if it is bad enough to leave, even though I have no love, trust or respect for this man left. I feel he has killed it all. I am confused because we are not living in a hostile way to each other, so I don't know if it would be more harmful to my children to leave. Here is my story. Sorry in …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, whole and human again

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Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Winifred." She previously wrote "The Other Prey loving someone previously married to a sociopath." I have just read the story from "Edward" entitled, My involvement with a female sociopath. My heart goes out to the people who are collateral damage from the wrath of a sociopath...male or female. I would like to get the message out there that there is actually a way to recover from this hell, and after picking up the pieces and getting to know ourselves again, to find someone who has no evil agenda, someone who wants what we want! I have been with my husband for 10 years now, and we have been through it all! I believe that …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story with sociopaths (in three parts)

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Uhlen47" sent in her story. Discovering your website was, in many ways, a godsend. I am 59 years old, and I have not had a relationship for 11 years. Why? Because the last relationship I had was with a sociopath, and I have been too frightened to enter into another because I don't trust my judgment. The Beginning My mother was/is a sociopath with whom I no longer have a relationship. She abused me as a child, mentally, emotionally, and physically. My only gratitude to her is that she provided food, clothing and shelter, but she provided these probably because too much negative social stigma was attached to not providing it, and my …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopaths love only themselves

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Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Carlamac." I wish I had known about your website and ways to obtain support 4 years ago!!! I can't believe I have found you! I spent 3 years with a sociopath and although he didn't get me for money, per se, he did convince me to buy a home using a story so similar to yours ”¦ I moved with him from New York to Florida with promises that his new business (I aided him in starting and developing) would flourish and we would end up in a house on the water with a Cigarette speed boat ”¦ etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. I left my adult children, family and an endless amount of friends on Long Island!! It didn't even take him 3 mont …

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Letter to Lovefraud: How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies – until now!

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mal from the reader who posts as "Kataroux." In December 2005, my husband, who was also a sociopath, just not as ruthless, overdosed and died. I was devastated by the sudden death, and the fact that he chose to do it on my Son's 11th birthday. The first person to show up was my recent sociopath (we will call him “D” so he has a name), and he was there to "help me through” and “make me laugh.” He was a relative of my late husband but knew what I had gone through with my husband's drug addiction, and he and I had spent many of hours talking about what was going on for years prior to my husband's death. So he knew me very well, knew I loved com …

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Lessons in Life and Love I Learned from a Sociopath

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By Paula Carrasquillo Editor's note: Paula Carrasquillo is author of "Escaping the Boy My Life with a Sociopath." Read Lovefraud's book review. A few years ago, I found myself in a relationship with a man who demonstrated zero empathy, zero remorse, zero compassion and seemed to lack any inkling of a conscience. He lashed out at me often, raged and accused me of doing things I never did and of being a person I could never imagine being. I tried desperately to make him "see the light" of his negative thinking and paranoia. But all of my pleadings and attempts to convince him that he was wrong about my intentions proved futile. The emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse he …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I no longer attract needy, disordered men

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Editor's note: This is the story of a long-time member of the Lovefraud community, Stargazer. Spath-proofing my life I have been a poster on Lovefraud for over five years. It just occurred to me I've never written an article. I wanted to tell my story and write about what I have done to spath-proof my life in the last five years. It was never my intention to spath-proof my life. I only wanted to be happy. In taking the steps to make myself happy, I have successfully created a life where disordered people don't dare to enter. If they do, they don't stay very long. Why? I'm too happy for them. I don't buy into their sob stories; I have no need to fix them; and I have no need for their …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, life gets good again

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a reader whom we'll call "Cherylann." I am really not sure where to start. My family and those closest to me refer to him as ”˜madman,' ”˜the beast'”¦ or as my brother put it, I married a cardboard box. I never realized he had no feelings for me or anyone but himself until maybe 2 years into our divorce proceedings. I am not known for my writing abilities and this is difficult to do; not because of the subject matter but because there is just so much that I could share about those 11 years that I was with him. I am not sure how to put it in the most ”˜readable' manner. Anyway, here goes. Not love at first sight Let me just sta …

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