Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Marguerite2018.”
I spent over half my life with my now ex-husband. What I’m about to share is a glimpse, as I’m sure is the case for so many of us that have stories upon stories to share of the surreal experiences that we endured with our abusers.
Suppose you realize that you’re in an unhealthy romantic relationship. Or, your instincts are telling you that the person in hot pursuit of you is bad news. How do you end the involvement?
When you’re romantically involved with reasonably normal individuals, you usually try to spare their feelings. You don’t come out and say that they’re boring, or needy, or oafish, even if that’s what you feel. You make up excuses. You tell them that you’re getting back with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, even if that’s a lie. You say you’re just not ready for a relationship right now, even if that’s also a lie.
Elizabeth McKeown ( Greene County Jail)
Elizabeth McKeown, 46, is charged with murder after she intentionally drove into Barbara Foster, 57, of Springfield, Missouri, according to what she told police.
McKeown was stopped at a busy Springfield intersection, behind Foster. Frustrated that Foster wasn’t moving, McKeown accelerated her black Mustang into Foster’s car. Foster then got out of the car to inspect the damage and yelled at McKeown. As Foster returned to her vehicle, McKeown ran her over. The Washington Post reported:
Image by Gustavo Verissimo
“Is it really a vulnerability to respond to somebody (apparently) liking and desiring you? Is that not just a basic human need that we all want to have fulfilled?”
The Lovefraud reader Dorabella asked these questions on a story that I posted a couple of weeks ago, The sociopath as your soul mate. They are great questions. The answers are: Yes, it’s a vulnerability to respond to someone desiring you, and yes, it’s a basic human need. So although these are vulnerabilities, they are also normal human qualities.
To be human is to have vulnerabilities.
Experience the support of people who know! Join our free support group Sunday, December 16, 2018 at 5 pm EST. Go www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining. Do this every time even if you have joined us before! We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call. It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.
Share your struggles, questions, get feedback and clarity from people who get it! Hope to meet you there!
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Lillian.”
I met him online. Dated casually for a year, during which time I met his sister who grows fruit & is married to a well-known doctor. I met his other sister who is a judge. I got to know his 21-year-old son who was graduating from college & gave him a job for a summer. I met his ex-wife. I met a childhood friend of his. He showed me portfolios of the homes he built or remodeled, I met a couple of his clients, & he drove me past a few homes.
Researchers at the University of Windsor are conducting a study investigating experiences of remembering past events in interpersonal relationships with suspected psychopaths.
As a participant, you will be asked about a specific time when someone you suspect to be a psychopath made you question your memory for a past event. This may have been because they told you that your memory was incorrect, that the events did not happen, or that other people have doubts about your experiences. The researchers are hoping to learn more about your experiences of remembering and communicating with suspected psychopaths about things that happened in the past.
Lance Hart of England shot his wife and daughter, and then himself.
Claire Hart, or Spalding, Lincolnshire, England, had just escaped her emotionally abusive and controlling husband. In July 2016, Claire’s grown sons, Luke and Ryan, packed up her and their 19-year-old sister, Charlotte, and moved them into a rented house.
Five days later, the controlling husband, Lance, shot Claire and Charlotte in the parking lot of a local sports center. Then he shot himself.
A Lovefraud reader just sent me a story about the tragedy that The Guardian newspaper published last year. You can read it here:
Terry Kelly and Donna Andersen in front of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Plaza, New York City.
For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated.
At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights.
Wendell Wilkins, Rakeem Spivey, Jimmy Dunbar Jr., David Dempsey and Antwine Matthews were indicted in a sextortion scam.
Five inmates in a South Carolina prison managed to scam 442 members of the armed forces by using smuggled cell phones to initiate love fraud scams. They posed as underaged girls, contacted the service members, and then blackmailed the victims for $560,000 in hush money.
US Attorney Sherri Lydon held a press conference in front of the prison in Columbia, South Carolina, and announced charges against five men:
Donna Andersen is author of three books, including Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, and is program administrator for Lovefraud Continuing Education.
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