Author Archive: shescomeundone

By Donna Andersen | March 21, 2019 1 Comments

California hairstylist loses $273,000 in online romance scam

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A con artist used this soldier’s photos to scam a woman out of $273,000.

“Yin,” a hairstylist from California, went looking for love on Match.com, the online dating site. She thought she found it when she met “David Perez,” a divorced major in the Marines with a 10-year-old daughter.

Major Perez told Yin he was deployed to Afghanistan. Then he told her that he needed money. Yin sent him $273,000 — her entire life savings.

Needless to say, the money is gone.

Unfortunately, Yin is not alone. According to the Federal Trade Commission, 21,000 people reported losing money in online dating romance scams last year. How much did they lose? More than $143 million. It’s the single largest … Read more

Posted in: Lovefraud Continuing Education, Sociopaths and money

By Donna Andersen | March 20, 2019 0 Comments

Video: Mandy Friedman talks about Self-care for Complex PTSD

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If you endured physical, emotional, psychological, sexual and/or financial abuse for a long time, you may be suffering from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). But you can learn how to recognize the symptoms and create your own recovery program.

In this upcoming Lovefraud webinar, Mandy Friedman, LPCC, CCDVC, will thoroughly explain the psychological, behavioral and physical symptoms of C-PTSD. She’ll explain how this disorder affects your brain. Then, she’ll teach you how to advocate for yourself if you seek therapy, and offer strategies for your own self-care.

Self-Care for Complex PTSD
Tuesday, March 26, 8-9 pm ET • $25
Instructor: Mandy Friedman, LPCC, CCDVC

Self-Care for Complex PTSD

By Donna Andersen | March 18, 2019 5 Comments

People who can ruin your life, and how to deal with them

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BOOK REVIEW: 5 Types of people who can ruin your life – Identifying and dealing with narcissists, sociopaths and other high-conflict personalities, by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Review by Donna Andersen

Yes, millions of people with serious personality disorders have the potential to ruin your life. 5 Types of people who can ruin your life, by Bill Eddy, is the first book I’ve seen that draws attention to the multiple personality disorders that spell trouble for interpersonal relationships.

Bill Eddy is a lawyer and social worker who leads the High Conflict Institute, an organization which educates people about high-conflict personalities and high-conflict disputes. His previous book, Splitting: Protecting yourself while divorcing someone with borderline or narcissistic personality … Read more

Posted in: Book reviews, Donna Andersen

By Donna Andersen | March 16, 2019 2 Comments

Complex PTSD from relationships with sociopaths

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Photo by Merelize at FreeRange Stock Photos.

You’re pretty sure that you’re involved with a sociopath, but you feel helpless to do anything about it. You’re afraid of conflict and you feel a sense of paralyzing shame and loneliness.

You berate yourself for not being able to make a decision and get out. But your issue may not be a character flaw — indecision, helplessness and shame are all symptoms of complex PTSD (C-PTSD).

According to Dr. Karin Huffer, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric injury caused by feeling helpless while in jeopardy. It is generally associated with a single traumatic episode, such a car crash, earthquake or sexual assault, or with combat and the atrocities … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Lovefraud Continuing Education, Recovery from a sociopath, Uncategorized

By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT | March 15, 2019 0 Comments

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, and Rose T to hold weekly conference call support groups Sundays at 5pm EST

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Experience the support of people who know from wherever you are! Join our free support group every Sunday at 5 pm EST. Go to destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining. Do this every time even if you have joined us before! We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call. It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.

Posted in: Uncategorized

By Donna Andersen | March 11, 2019 0 Comments

What do narcissists want?

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At first, narcissists are charming and attentive, but eventually they turn cold and cruel. Many people are totally baffled by the behavior, and come to suspect they’re dealing with a narcissist. They turn to the Internet and ask variations of the question, what do narcissists want?

Here are 20 of those questions — with the answers.

1 . What do narcissists want?

Narcissists want what is called “narcissistic supply.” In her Lovefraud webinar called, Understanding and Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse, Tiffany Kettermann, LPC, CADCI, explains that narcissistic supply is, “Anything or anyone that feeds the narcissistic person’s ego and keeps the person artificially pumped up, protecting their fragile view of themselves.” This could include fame, admiration, compliments, good … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath

By Donna Andersen | March 8, 2019 0 Comments

‘Love Fraud’ – FREE online book discussion March 13

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My first book, Love Fraud – How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, tells two parallel stories—the outrageous tale of my involvement with the sociopath James Montgomery, my spiritual journey to understand why it happened, and how it helped me return to wholeness.

I will host a FREE online book discussion, via videoconference, on March 13, 2019, at 8 p.m. ET. Please join me — if you read the book recently, long ago or even if you haven’t quite finished it. (You can choose to participate anonymously if you want.) Discussion questions are below. Register here:

Lovefraud Video Conference Book Discussion

About the book:

What is it really like to be hooked by a sociopath? And … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Lovefraud books

By Lovefraud Reader | March 6, 2019 3 Comments

The narcissist discarded me every year for 11 years

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Angie19.”

I was involved with my narcissist for a little more than 11 years, for which 4-6 months out of each year he would discard me.

The process would start out with him giving me enough rope to hang myself by pushing the buttons he knew would get me to say something he could later use to “play victim” and claim “it always comes back to this” or “why, every time, do we have to go thru this.” It would be followed up with the standard guilt trip, topped off by demeaning me, which he was very good at doing. He had a talent to … Read more

Posted in: Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

By Donna Andersen | March 4, 2019 10 Comments

Can a relationship with a sociopath work?

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You’ve met someone who is charming, charismatic, fun, attentive and, oh yeah, sexy. Your relationship is the most exciting you’ve ever experienced — at first.

Then you see some red flags, and your relationship isn’t as pleasant as it once was. After a few nasty incidents, you Google words like “pathological lying,” and see descriptions that sound like your partner. You suspect your partner may be a sociopath.

The good times are, or were, really good. You don’t want to throw it all away. So you wonder — can a relationship with a sociopath work?

The answer depends on what you mean by “work.”

You cannot have a supportive, sharing relationship with a sociopath

If by “work” you … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Hooked by a sociopath

By Donna Andersen | March 1, 2019 2 Comments

Narcissistic manipulation: Patrick Frazee wanted his girlfriend to commit murder

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Patrick Frazee, left, is charged with murdering Kelsey Berreth, the mother of his child.

Here’s one of the worst cases of narcissistic manipulation I’ve ever seen:

Three times, Patrick Frazee, 32, of Florissant, Colorado, tried to convince his girlfriend to murder his fiancée. When the girlfriend couldn’t do it, Frazee allegedly beat Kelsey Berreth, the mother of his child, to death with a baseball bat. Then he called his girlfriend, Krystal Lee Kenney of Idaho, to clean up the mess.

Frazee and Kenney began an intimate relationship in early 2018 — and Frazee probably began his narcissistic manipulation right away. Eventually, Kenney was “under his spell,” as former FBI profiler Pete Klismet said in an interview with KRDO … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Laws and courts, Sociopaths as predators