A reader says: “I kept wondering what was going on in his head. I could never follow his thinking. I think he might have been into alcohol and drugs and that in itself messes the brain, and along with his other personality disorders, sure makes for a confusing relationship.”
The thinking patterns of the psychopath are indeed weird. It seems there are biological and intentional reasons for this. In others words, he is unable to think very logically PLUS he intends to mislead. No wonder he is hard to follow!
Below I list several factors which together make the psychopath a most bamboozling character.
The odd speech of psychopaths
The psychopath makes “frequent use of contradictory and logically inconsistent statements”, says Robert Hare in ‘Without conscience.’ E.g. “A man serving time for armed robbery replied to the testimony of an eyewitness, “He’s lying. I wasn’t there. I should have blown his fucking head off.” It is as if, says Hare, they have “difficulty monitoring their own speech”.
Psychopaths may also construct strange words: ‘unconscientious’ for unconscious’, ‘antidotes’ for ‘anecdotes’. Perhaps there is something about the brain of the psychopath that contributes to his odd speech.
Drug and alcohol abuse
With their poor ability to tolerate frustration and their high need for stimulation (same thing?), the psychopath is likely to abuse drugs and alcohol which obviously affects the ability to think. Chronic abuse damages the brain.
But, as M.L. Gallagher recently writes, he speaks in riddles purposely too.
The intention to deceive
This doesn’t need much elaboration here. The psychopath wants to get something. He may simply take it by force. Otherwise he will use his cunning to fool the other person. (Interestingly, the illogicality of his arguments doesn’t stop him successfully conning one person after another.)
Logical fallacies
Most of us use logical fallacies when we argue or try to persuade. Some of these are errors in our own thinking, some are conscious manipulations. Just accentuating a different word can make all the difference: “Mom said that we musn’t throw stones at the windows” (i.e. she didn’t say anything about hitting them with a tennis racket).
We can fully expect that the psychopath, with his flawed thinking plus his intention to deceive, will use every logical fallacy in the book. Bear with me for a couple of paragraphs.
Take the example the logical fallacy, the ‘ad hominem argument’. It has two types, circumstantial and abusive. In the circumstantial ad hominem argument the circumstances of the other are confronted instead of the evidence: “Of course you don’t accept that it’s OK to be a loan-shark. You’re a Christian and Christ drove the money lenders out of the temple.” (But that’s irrelevant; if I was Jewish what would your defense be then?)
In the abusive ad hominem argument the opponent is attacked instead of their argument: “You criticise me for loan-sharking, but three years ago you were arrested for drunk driving.” (What does that have to do with loan-sharking?)
Paramoralism
But the psychopath uses fallacies with an evil twist. Whenever possible he’ll use a logical fallacy as a paramoralism. In other words, he won’t use a fallacy only to win a point but also use it moralistically in order to corrode the other’s moral thinking.
How would a psychopath argue ad hominem? Several readers have mentioned precisely this example: “What kind of Christian are you to accuse me of this?” (Again, the other’s Christianity is irrelevant to the topic at hand.) Can you see the difference? Unlike the examples above where the opponent’s Christianity is used to score a point or bring the argument to an end, here the other is being denounced as a bad Christian. An open-minded person is likely to say to themselves, “Maybe he’s right. Perhaps I’m the bad one here.”
Perhaps you have an example to share of the bewildering speech of a psychopath?
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For glimpse into the wacky thought-processes of the narcissist see this article.
After confronting the sociopath about his HIV status, he says, “I dont think I’ve ever done anything to intentionally or unintentionally hurt you. You know that’s not me. You know who I am.”
Or how about, “I’ve done nothing to damage you or me, and our relationship wasn’t a big ole pack of lies. We were honest and truthful and we honored each other. I plan to keep honoring you while we’re not together……..”
And finally, this is the biggest one….and quite a mind fuck: “Words are meaningless, get tested, verify the facts.”
How’s that for bewilderment, manipulation, and riddling.
i recently watched a movie called match point, its main male character is i feel a sociopath. the funny thing is i watched it with my ex who is a sociopath. at the end of the movie the bad guy the s path gets away with the worst things, its not a good ending really to an other wise good movie. when i said to my ex that wasnt a good ending. he replied he thought it was good that bad guy won and got away with everything and it was a good ending. go firgure, i think he said that cause he was just like him. in fact watching the movie he must of seen parts of his own personality in the main character the sociopath. anyway it s funny cause by saying it was a good ending, he reavealed how warped his own mind and mental state really is to me without even realising it. if you have had a n experience with a sociopath watch this movie it will remind you how bad and deceptive these people are and how they will lie cheat and do anything to get what they want in life. despite the bad ending. anyone with normal moral reasoning will think it is a bad ending that is not the sociopaths though they will think how clever and good the bad guy is like my ex did while watching this movie.
YES! He’d say the strangest things. His emails were even stranger. The words he’d use to sound “oh so clever” were close to the word needed…but just not quite right. He’d also construct some weird sentences like “stimulate my gray matter in ways to please me,” instead of intellectually stimulating or “makes me think.” He’d also email in partial thoughts/sentences. He didn’t TALK like that, but he’d type out some out-there/vague stuff. He was (and is) always trying to sound like he’s an educated genius, he falls short and boy does he get testy when he’s told he sounds like an idiot! LOL (He boasts of an MBA when he actually has a GED. For the record, I never believed the MBA deal.)
There were many times the only thing I was left with was, “huh? What the heck does THAT mean?” He liked to keep me off-balance- that way I couldn’t SEE what he was really up to. I think he was using drugs the whole time- I didn’t know about it, but I’m sure if there were drugs, I’m sure I paid for them. As more things come to light, he’s been known to have a drug problem, off and on, for most of his life.
When I said the Bad Man’s behavior had reached a level of unforgivable, he mentioned something about even Jesus can forgive his behavior. He did, at times, imply a parallel between himself and Jesus. Since he was an ordained Minister, I suspect that was where these references came from… but it didn’t go un-noticed.
When we first started dating and I wanted to wait to be intimate he said, “How come all the bad boys get sex but the good guys have to wait?!” His most recent ad said he was looking for a “Nun/Wife/Whore.” Honestly, I don’t know what it wrong with this man. Why doesn’t he know that NO ONE would respond to that? I mean he is manipulative and exploitive, cruel, grandiose, refers to himself as “special”, sexual addicted. He wants a “nun” one day and a transexual the next day. I think he has escalated so much since we were together… and he was really bad then but he just seems like he is spinning out of control! The tag line of his most recent ad is “Can you get real and care?” He implies all the time that no one is caring. He used that hook on me… when he was acting over the top psycho and then he would accuse me of being uncaring.
Sometimes I just feel sick.
in regards to the above mentioned intention to decieve in this article. i would like to say who invented the mobile phone, it must have been a sociopath cause this is the best tool for them to use to decieve lie and cheat on poor unsuspecting victims. how easy is it to lie over a mobile ph about where you are or what you are doing, my ex sociopath did use his mobile ph to inflict pain on me this way. its so easy for them to be totaly secretive about things and mislead you. and with privacy laws again the victims are grid locked you cant check phone bills or records to confirm you suspicions its like you are the criminal if you try to do this. and if you can get hold of their phone bill and try to read it just see how the s path reacts likely a fit of rage and then make you feel guilty for trying to read it cause you dont trust them. sometimes it seems like modern technology and society is a gainst the victims of the s path . when all your trying to do is prove to your self and others what they have done or are doing. and protect yourself from being mislead, calling other woman ,stringing people along and lying about where they are and what they are doing the list is endless how this tool the mobile ph is the s paths best friend. mobile phs make it all too easy for sociopaths in my opinion . does any one else feel the same .
me too. aloha traveler, when i first met and started seeing the sociopath, i said i didnt want to have sex straight away that i think sex is for people in love and we werent at that stage yet. and he replied that makes me want you even more. he would act so innocent he even told me he hadnt had much sexual experience which i thought odd cause he had been engaged and lived with his fiance. but later i found out his strange words in the begining were just a ploy to make me think wow what a great good person this guy is. i later learned sex means a lot to him in fact i think he is addicted to having sex with anyone who will wether there is a connection or not he admitted to me once after we broke up that he thinks it is ok to have sex and just be friends with someone as long as they are both consenting adults and then of course he doesnt tell any of the other girls he is sleeping with about it. all word games and very confusing. i also think he forgets alot of things he has said to me in the past especially the very strange things. or maybe he just thinks they are normal things to say.
After we broke up but were still in contact, and after he had been through several other promises / storylines which never materialised about paying me back the money he owed me, my sociopath simultaneously claimed to have cancer AND was begging me to guarantee a loan for him so that he could buy a new vehicle and pay me back with the proceeds
In almost alternate sentences he was arguing (a) that he was to be pitied as the cancer surgery would mean he would be unable to work for at least 3 months, and (b) that I “knew” he had fantastic work prospects and would easily be able to repay the loan, if only I would guarantee it.
When I pointed out the discrepancy, his only response was to call me a “smartarse”.
“he admitted to me once after we broke up that he thinks it is ok to have sex and just be friends with someone as long as they are both consenting adults”
This probable doesn’t count for much, coming from me but… isn’t that how the majority of men think, sociopath or not? Granted, sociopaths are more prone to sexual promiscuity but they surely don’t own it.
SecretMonster
yeh the first part of that statement is true i guess most men are like that, but if you read the other half, then he doesnt tell all the other girls he is sleeping with at the same time. and the fact that he and most sociopaths will have sex with any willing person wether they have feelings for them or are attracted to them the way normal people are makes them different and more sick than most men i would say.
In one of his attempts to reconcile (my PI had provided me information on three women he’d been involved with while we’d been together), I provided him with proof positive of his womanizing and their names and his “backed into the corner” response was, “Though things we do sometimes anger others, they don’t change something as deep as love for another human being.”