A reader says: “I kept wondering what was going on in his head. I could never follow his thinking. I think he might have been into alcohol and drugs and that in itself messes the brain, and along with his other personality disorders, sure makes for a confusing relationship.”
The thinking patterns of the psychopath are indeed weird. It seems there are biological and intentional reasons for this. In others words, he is unable to think very logically PLUS he intends to mislead. No wonder he is hard to follow!
Below I list several factors which together make the psychopath a most bamboozling character.
The odd speech of psychopaths
The psychopath makes “frequent use of contradictory and logically inconsistent statements”, says Robert Hare in ‘Without conscience.’ E.g. “A man serving time for armed robbery replied to the testimony of an eyewitness, “He’s lying. I wasn’t there. I should have blown his fucking head off.” It is as if, says Hare, they have “difficulty monitoring their own speech”.
Psychopaths may also construct strange words: ‘unconscientious’ for unconscious’, ‘antidotes’ for ‘anecdotes’. Perhaps there is something about the brain of the psychopath that contributes to his odd speech.
Drug and alcohol abuse
With their poor ability to tolerate frustration and their high need for stimulation (same thing?), the psychopath is likely to abuse drugs and alcohol which obviously affects the ability to think. Chronic abuse damages the brain.
But, as M.L. Gallagher recently writes, he speaks in riddles purposely too.
The intention to deceive
This doesn’t need much elaboration here. The psychopath wants to get something. He may simply take it by force. Otherwise he will use his cunning to fool the other person. (Interestingly, the illogicality of his arguments doesn’t stop him successfully conning one person after another.)
Logical fallacies
Most of us use logical fallacies when we argue or try to persuade. Some of these are errors in our own thinking, some are conscious manipulations. Just accentuating a different word can make all the difference: “Mom said that we musn’t throw stones at the windows” (i.e. she didn’t say anything about hitting them with a tennis racket).
We can fully expect that the psychopath, with his flawed thinking plus his intention to deceive, will use every logical fallacy in the book. Bear with me for a couple of paragraphs.
Take the example the logical fallacy, the ‘ad hominem argument’. It has two types, circumstantial and abusive. In the circumstantial ad hominem argument the circumstances of the other are confronted instead of the evidence: “Of course you don’t accept that it’s OK to be a loan-shark. You’re a Christian and Christ drove the money lenders out of the temple.” (But that’s irrelevant; if I was Jewish what would your defense be then?)
In the abusive ad hominem argument the opponent is attacked instead of their argument: “You criticise me for loan-sharking, but three years ago you were arrested for drunk driving.” (What does that have to do with loan-sharking?)
Paramoralism
But the psychopath uses fallacies with an evil twist. Whenever possible he’ll use a logical fallacy as a paramoralism. In other words, he won’t use a fallacy only to win a point but also use it moralistically in order to corrode the other’s moral thinking.
How would a psychopath argue ad hominem? Several readers have mentioned precisely this example: “What kind of Christian are you to accuse me of this?” (Again, the other’s Christianity is irrelevant to the topic at hand.) Can you see the difference? Unlike the examples above where the opponent’s Christianity is used to score a point or bring the argument to an end, here the other is being denounced as a bad Christian. An open-minded person is likely to say to themselves, “Maybe he’s right. Perhaps I’m the bad one here.”
Perhaps you have an example to share of the bewildering speech of a psychopath?
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For glimpse into the wacky thought-processes of the narcissist see this article.
psycheintact: I pray to God you are not correct on this theory. I really hope and have faith that someone will make a break through with them.
As I went through the horrors with my bosses, they had 6 years to do what they wanted with me. I was after all, in their ball park.
The only thing I could do was to stay as humble as a person possibly can … that and reading wisdom from the Bible as much as I could read during those years.
I kept deducting what was happening. Why they were the way they were. Believe me, they were ruthless. Absolutely ruthless.
Anyway, I kept deducting what it was with me, versus them living in their egos. Big egos … on the 10 scale, there are NO rules. Nothing applies when dealing with their wrath.
So, I analyzed myself. Why did I take righteous paths in life? I analyzed them not being righteous in any situation with me.
What was the difference of taking righteous paths in life versus unrighteous paths in life.
Righteous paths. you do the work, reap the rewards.
Unrighteous paths, you don’t do the work, but you tell folks you did the work, so you too reap the rewards (so you think … you reap the man made rewards, not the virtues of the Lord)
Are you getting my drift in what I am writing?
psycheintact: Long story short. If a person takes righteous paths … the way God wants us to choose. I believe God has it built into humans that if we follow the way he wants us to live, we kick off enzymes in our system … while we are learning God’s virtues. Hence, we feel deeply, we love deeply, we think profoundly, etc. etc. etc.
On the other hand, God has it built into the humans that enzymes aren’t kicked off … hence, live in your ego, believe in only yourself, a mere mortal … and nothing kicks off in your system … you go dormant. Yes, you are walking this Earth … so what?
The more I read and understand the wisdom of God’s words, his direction of how he wants us to live, the more I see this conclusion.
That’s why I say, if you can get them to trust you, that you will guide them to a righteous lifestyle, they too would be able to REALLY live and experience life the way God intended us to.
Peace.
Psy I agree to a point. Sociopaths I think have a chance to change where as psychopaths do not. It would be like asking a shark to stop being a shark. Psychopaths have some differences from other people that are very deep. Fear, or lack of, being one of them and that makes a huge difference, a difference that is not understood or misunderstood by many people. The shark see’s nothing wrong with being a shark.
As for delusional, well we all do what you talked about to a certain degree. For example I know that not getting enough exercise is bad for me, yet I still do not exercise enough. Years ago when I smoked I knew it was bad for me yet still did it.
As a psychologist, I think we are talking about a continuum of pathology here with Psychopathy the worst and the most entrenched.
You are making a CONSCIOUS choice to not exerice and you are CONSCIOUSLY choosing to accept the consequences. Most defense mechanisms operate unonsciously…Sociopaths, narcissists and psychopaths are certainly influenced by their unconscious minds as well. The plethora of defenses is difficult is not impossible to grasp; it is easier for us to write them off as evil than even begin to attempt to understand the myraid of protective illusions.
As an Adult here in the human race
A person who sees the effects of their own behavior and continues to behave in the same manner has made a choice to do as they wish regardless of anyone else!
If you where talking about an animal thats fine but we are not Animals ! we are people with the ability to choose right from wrong!
Perhaps the arguement is about wether there is right and rong . This disscussion goes on at Psycoforms and they cant even agree amongst them selves. Their Logic is stupid people deserve to be taken advantage of! LOVE jere
psycheintact,
You said you specialize in dissociative disorders. I have a question about the treatment of what I think may be “disociative amnesia” just from what I have read.
Quick backround: I was with my P for four years. Over a 7 month period I had a parent die, a sibling who was dying from terminal cancer, then died, I was arrested when I called the police on my P and spent 12 hours in jail because the police arrested me instead (charges later dropped), my P stalked and terrozied me, including harrassing phone calls all hours of the day and night, in person threats to harm me or my pet or burn my building down etc. (well, you get the picture), property destruction and he screwed up my car. and I finally moved and sold a business I had built the buiding for and was trying to get open 7 months after the start of all this. I moved out of State to live with a relative. Stayed with the relative a few months till I found a house. Although he cannot get thru to leave a voicemail (I keep it full) he still attempts contact sometimes.
I feel relief to be out of the relationship, have no longing for him, rarely think about him, but remember enough details and bad things from the relationship I could probably fill up several notebooks. I rarely mention him in real life at all, and although I blog on here occasionally about him, when I do I feel as if I am just describing the scenes out of some novel I read like I am talking about somebody else. I rarely recall dreams anymore, but find if the phone rings and wakes me or one of my pets wakes me, I am usually dreaming something about him, so although he doesn’t occupy my waking thoughts, he seems to be lurking around in my dreams, damn him.
I love lmy new house, enjoy my pets and have several hobbies. I enjoy being around others occasionally (although I find myself wanting to spend alot of time alone), but when I interact with others now I feel sort of detached from them and if they start talking about anything “bad” that happened, I tend to get this sort of cool flow of energy wash over me and I feel sort of odd and removed from them. I get stressed at the thought of spending very much time with the same person and although it may sound strange, I find I am more comfortable interacting and talking with strangers for short periods that I know I’ll never see again (you know like in a wal-mart checkout line)
I thought I was doing pretty good overall since I don’t feel depressed and enjoy things I do like hobbies. But two months ago, due to a sudden rash of attempted contact from the ex, which I mentioned thru email to a friend who lives several states away, she sent me about 30 or so emails the two of us had exchanged from 3 years ago, which she had kept that covers a 4 month or so time period, to remind me of how bad he had been. Here’s the kicker: Although I remember a huge amount of bad things and good things that happened during that time, when I read the emails I was surprised to find I recalled virtually nothing of the stuff covered in the emails, yet when I read them the memories came flooding back and the details. A few days later I tried to remember what the emails said and I could remember nothing more than she sent me emails covering that particular time period and I know they covered really bad things that had happened and that I had left several times to go stay in hotels to get away from my ex., and he tracked me down, but I cannot recall how many times or ANY details whatsoever about the situation or why I left him, other than a sliver of a memory of one of the hotels.
That has been two months ago and I still cannot, in spite of trying (without re-reading the emails which I tense up at the thought of doing), recall anything other than what I mentioned above, other than one additional sliver of a memory of being in another hotel room. Yet during this same time period I can recall alot of other details like I said, including a trip I took alone due to a natural disaster that hit my area. I can recall the name of the hotel I stayed in (not a chain), the design of the bedspread, the wicker furniture, the tropical courtyard, how much I loved the area and how great I felt there, even that a black lab stayed in the room next door. Yet I can recall virtually nothing out of those emails she sent me.
I can’t afford therapy at the moment, but I figure I need it as soon as I can afford it. Just from reading (I have no psych background) it sounds as if I am dissociating in interactions with others and also may have dissociative amnesia.
My question is, is a trauma specialist best or one who specifically specializes in dissociative disorders, and how do I find one (most of them just say psychologist in the phone book and I am not from a big city). My second question is that I bought a PTSD workbook and also the book “Adult Children of Abusive Parents” which has exercises in it. (no parental physical or sexual abuse in my background, but emotional abuse). Is it detrimental to do these exercises on my own (so far I keep putting it off). And in treatment is it even necessary to recover lost memories in order to get better? It isn’t that I want’t to remember, but still it bugs me that I can’t remember, and it bugs me that although I recall so much stuff that happened, if I could forget major stuff like even leaving and staying in hotels, what the heck else do I not remember, if that makes sense.
My God, I had no idea that email was that freakin long!!! Sorry folks.
Psy one of the problems is that no headway can be made unless the client honestly wants to change and psychopaths do not want to change because their is nothing wrong with them. People from various professions have been trying for a long time to try to make a break through and it has not happened yet and I do not think it is because of protective illusions. In many cases psychopaths see reality clearer than many “normal” folks (similar to people with clinical depression). None of the psychopaths I treated ever got better and I have never heard from anyone in the field of a “cured” psychopath. I do know of some sociopaths that improved though and I think what you stated applies to them quite well.
Wow is my spelling and gramar just awful :). I meant to write psychopaths do not want to change. They believe that there is nothing wrong with themselves and if anything is wrong it is wrong with others. And they do not just think this is so, they know this is so. In a detached clinical way it is interesting to talk to one and try to explain to them why they should change and listen to the response.
I think that sociopaths can alter their behavior so that they better blend in with the rest of us. While I was with my ex-S, his manager, friends, family, all said how much “better” his behavior was. He was far less irresponsible, drank far less, took initiatives, etc. But honestly, that was largely due to me gently riding ass and I believe, by giving him a good example of how people behave in polite society. He used to mimick my actions at times and sometimes posted in his blogs, verbatim, things that I would tell him or email him. It was all rather creepy … sort of like being shadowed or tailed…