A reader says: “I kept wondering what was going on in his head. I could never follow his thinking. I think he might have been into alcohol and drugs and that in itself messes the brain, and along with his other personality disorders, sure makes for a confusing relationship.”
The thinking patterns of the psychopath are indeed weird. It seems there are biological and intentional reasons for this. In others words, he is unable to think very logically PLUS he intends to mislead. No wonder he is hard to follow!
Below I list several factors which together make the psychopath a most bamboozling character.
The odd speech of psychopaths
The psychopath makes “frequent use of contradictory and logically inconsistent statements”, says Robert Hare in ‘Without conscience.’ E.g. “A man serving time for armed robbery replied to the testimony of an eyewitness, “He’s lying. I wasn’t there. I should have blown his fucking head off.” It is as if, says Hare, they have “difficulty monitoring their own speech”.
Psychopaths may also construct strange words: ‘unconscientious’ for unconscious’, ‘antidotes’ for ‘anecdotes’. Perhaps there is something about the brain of the psychopath that contributes to his odd speech.
Drug and alcohol abuse
With their poor ability to tolerate frustration and their high need for stimulation (same thing?), the psychopath is likely to abuse drugs and alcohol which obviously affects the ability to think. Chronic abuse damages the brain.
But, as M.L. Gallagher recently writes, he speaks in riddles purposely too.
The intention to deceive
This doesn’t need much elaboration here. The psychopath wants to get something. He may simply take it by force. Otherwise he will use his cunning to fool the other person. (Interestingly, the illogicality of his arguments doesn’t stop him successfully conning one person after another.)
Logical fallacies
Most of us use logical fallacies when we argue or try to persuade. Some of these are errors in our own thinking, some are conscious manipulations. Just accentuating a different word can make all the difference: “Mom said that we musn’t throw stones at the windows” (i.e. she didn’t say anything about hitting them with a tennis racket).
We can fully expect that the psychopath, with his flawed thinking plus his intention to deceive, will use every logical fallacy in the book. Bear with me for a couple of paragraphs.
Take the example the logical fallacy, the ‘ad hominem argument’. It has two types, circumstantial and abusive. In the circumstantial ad hominem argument the circumstances of the other are confronted instead of the evidence: “Of course you don’t accept that it’s OK to be a loan-shark. You’re a Christian and Christ drove the money lenders out of the temple.” (But that’s irrelevant; if I was Jewish what would your defense be then?)
In the abusive ad hominem argument the opponent is attacked instead of their argument: “You criticise me for loan-sharking, but three years ago you were arrested for drunk driving.” (What does that have to do with loan-sharking?)
Paramoralism
But the psychopath uses fallacies with an evil twist. Whenever possible he’ll use a logical fallacy as a paramoralism. In other words, he won’t use a fallacy only to win a point but also use it moralistically in order to corrode the other’s moral thinking.
How would a psychopath argue ad hominem? Several readers have mentioned precisely this example: “What kind of Christian are you to accuse me of this?” (Again, the other’s Christianity is irrelevant to the topic at hand.) Can you see the difference? Unlike the examples above where the opponent’s Christianity is used to score a point or bring the argument to an end, here the other is being denounced as a bad Christian. An open-minded person is likely to say to themselves, “Maybe he’s right. Perhaps I’m the bad one here.”
Perhaps you have an example to share of the bewildering speech of a psychopath?
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For glimpse into the wacky thought-processes of the narcissist see this article.
Unwilling Raconteur: My last post to you was off. I do agree with your theory, I disagreed, and hoped the last part when you wrote, for us to learn and move on… wasn’t going to be correct.
My apologize if I made it think that I didn’t agree with your entire statement, because I do.
I’m just praying that someone (LIKE OXY) can unlink this mess with the likes of them.
Oxy is the missing link …if you think about it.
She has all the ingredients to figure out which passages in the Bible, link together to solve this problem.
We can’t do it … we only have parts of the equation because we did not know or raise our EXs. Oxy knows exactly when her son went from humble, to living in his ego …
Now, since I bug her all the time, when she gets A ROUND TUIT … she’s most likely find the proper passages to unlink them.
Peace.
The psychopath makes “frequent use of contradictory and logically inconsistent statements”… YES.
Wini,
I often wanted to ask my ex’s mom more about his transition. According to her, it happened when he was around 19. Before that time, she said he was sweet, conscientious, empathetic, just a normal person. He had a drastic change in his life that brought him a lot of money and short-term acclaim and she told me that once he left home, he came back an entirely different person that she didn’t recognize.
warning: may contain triggers
this woman, this spath – she makes me sick.
the things she was willing to do, to say to me.
here she is, not as the loving boy, but as his whacked sister, after his ‘resurrection’, after I knew that things were very wrong and rotten in denmark. there are only a few of these – 3 or so. i didn’t repsond to them.
this is part of the last one: ‘I’d try to check your wrath when you do things like join Twitter to accuse people of things that, despite all the weird bullshit things he does do, weren’t true, and make certain his “friends” saw it. He knows where you work and thinks maybe they’d like to here some true things he has to say about you. Be careful with your wrath please. It is truly sad to see this incredible breakdown of behaviour among everyone. The Dalai Lama says: “My religion is kindness.” CHRIST and the BIBLE tell us things like “Do unto others” and “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and “Love thy neighbour as thyself.” Is it physics that says “For evrey action there’s a good excuse for someone to create drama?” I don’t think a one of you truly subscribe to any of that. I don’t think a one of you owns any part of what you do. Blame is shameful and pathetic. Revenge is very key to Buddhist and Christian principals I guess. I just hope everyone only does what’s really worth it too them.’
you know – at the time, i only skimmed over this – knowing it was full of malicious slime. Now that i know that the boy and this horror show are the same – now it is like poison.
sitting here with my face all twisted up. euuuuuuuuuuwwww!
no more of this. bleck, bleck, bleck. i have to go scour my eyeballs now and sooth my heart with cool running water and a walk. crazy f**king WHACKED b**ch.
Dear, dear, One Step,
I am reading Patricia Evans’ The Verbally Abusive Relationship, and if you haven’t read it, you really should. According to her, this twisting of words, languages, and even common knowledge is verbal abuse.
My spath was such a word twister! Oh, to read this brings it back with such agony! he made up words, created logical fallacies, used common belief to support his own twisted world.
I broke up with him in October, but was stupid enough to keep some line of communication open. My email turned into a place where he threatened me. So a week ago, I took out an emergency order of protection, based on an email he sent where he threatened to throw acid in my face.
I wonder if he’ll show up at the court. And if he does, if he’ll try to sweet talk the judge. . .
Happy New Year to all. Breathe deep and believe in your own inner voice, which tends to be the most honest one on the planet.
Mine talked about himself in the third person also.. and he meditated all the time.. and afterwards… his walk was light.. almost like he wasn’t touching earth.
Like he floated above the rest of us..
Oh, my goodness, Style1! Mine did that third person talk too! And he sometimes had conversations with himself, almost in two voices. . . . which made me wonder if I was dealing with someone with a dual personality. And maybe I was/am. . . yikes!
The funny thing is, if a person with a fundamentally good soul does the same type of meditation, which I did with mine sometimes, the power can be really great! This may sound really crazy, but when I was hanging out with mine and meditating, stray cats would come from all over and hang out in his yard with me. The neighbors all commented on it.
Crazy, eh?
louise:
believe in your own inner voice, which tends to be the most honest one on the planet….just what i needed to hear right now. I just got an email from a woman i knew on the webiste where i met the spath – as the psath had many online manifestations, i am no longer sure she isn’t the spath.
it has thrown me for a loop. sucked at my soul – drew me away from what i KNOW is true, hooked into the abadonment i feel….and whoosh i have been reeling for the last few minutes.
I am SO GLAD you got the order of protection. I want you to know that i have a friend who has been involved with someone off and on for a long time. I have never met him, we live far apart. he was getting increasingly unpleasant in email. I told her about the someone getting ‘a nice email’ (read: manipulative) and that over a very short period it evolved to the threat of disfigurement. AND IF HELPED HER LG – she came here and read, and at least questioned. so, thank you for sharing this here.
mine was very palyful with words – very. something we had in common. LOTS of being indirect though – LOTS. that was part of our dynamic- i got to figure out what the poor abused soul was really saying and needing…my bad. the sock puppets around him, especially the last sister was a horror show with twisting language…her last email is above. well, maybe not th elast – I changed my acocunt and it was an online one, and they take 3 months to deactivate….so maybe she is sending shit and i don’t know it. 😉
writing here is heling me right this moment to ground. to bring me back to the reality of what and who the spath is – not the made up people and story online.
so i htink i am going to do a lot more of that for the next hour.
Style1+Louise: mine talked to himself A LOT!…in front of a mirror!!! Said he was practising to go back to amateur acting!…
Louise,
As I understand it … when you meditate and are in the ‘energy’ you are left open for all sorts of entities and energy to attached to to influence you..
Mine had been into this Yoga, Guru, meditating since he was a young man.. he read spiritual things all the time.. and watched things like Medium on TV all the time.. and fantasy shows.. I have an interest in things such as this also..but am not obessed.. I find it interesting…He told me that what attracted him to his last wife was that she was into the kind of yoga and metitation that he was.. Well, apparently it didn’t work so well for her..
He wanted me to meditate with him and I started to one time.. and it was nothing that I was interested in.. I don’t think that I wanted the experince with him..
But I watched him pull in energy to move like a marble coffee table.. and it was interesting..
I also wondered as did a friend of mine .. if he didn’t pull in negative energies in the he had so much bad happenings and death around him..
Who knows about all that stuff? But mine delved deep into it.. and this ‘spiritual’ aspect of being sooo good… love love love…