A reader says: “I kept wondering what was going on in his head. I could never follow his thinking. I think he might have been into alcohol and drugs and that in itself messes the brain, and along with his other personality disorders, sure makes for a confusing relationship.”
The thinking patterns of the psychopath are indeed weird. It seems there are biological and intentional reasons for this. In others words, he is unable to think very logically PLUS he intends to mislead. No wonder he is hard to follow!
Below I list several factors which together make the psychopath a most bamboozling character.
The odd speech of psychopaths
The psychopath makes “frequent use of contradictory and logically inconsistent statements”, says Robert Hare in ‘Without conscience.’ E.g. “A man serving time for armed robbery replied to the testimony of an eyewitness, “He’s lying. I wasn’t there. I should have blown his fucking head off.” It is as if, says Hare, they have “difficulty monitoring their own speech”.
Psychopaths may also construct strange words: ‘unconscientious’ for unconscious’, ‘antidotes’ for ‘anecdotes’. Perhaps there is something about the brain of the psychopath that contributes to his odd speech.
Drug and alcohol abuse
With their poor ability to tolerate frustration and their high need for stimulation (same thing?), the psychopath is likely to abuse drugs and alcohol which obviously affects the ability to think. Chronic abuse damages the brain.
But, as M.L. Gallagher recently writes, he speaks in riddles purposely too.
The intention to deceive
This doesn’t need much elaboration here. The psychopath wants to get something. He may simply take it by force. Otherwise he will use his cunning to fool the other person. (Interestingly, the illogicality of his arguments doesn’t stop him successfully conning one person after another.)
Logical fallacies
Most of us use logical fallacies when we argue or try to persuade. Some of these are errors in our own thinking, some are conscious manipulations. Just accentuating a different word can make all the difference: “Mom said that we musn’t throw stones at the windows” (i.e. she didn’t say anything about hitting them with a tennis racket).
We can fully expect that the psychopath, with his flawed thinking plus his intention to deceive, will use every logical fallacy in the book. Bear with me for a couple of paragraphs.
Take the example the logical fallacy, the ‘ad hominem argument’. It has two types, circumstantial and abusive. In the circumstantial ad hominem argument the circumstances of the other are confronted instead of the evidence: “Of course you don’t accept that it’s OK to be a loan-shark. You’re a Christian and Christ drove the money lenders out of the temple.” (But that’s irrelevant; if I was Jewish what would your defense be then?)
In the abusive ad hominem argument the opponent is attacked instead of their argument: “You criticise me for loan-sharking, but three years ago you were arrested for drunk driving.” (What does that have to do with loan-sharking?)
Paramoralism
But the psychopath uses fallacies with an evil twist. Whenever possible he’ll use a logical fallacy as a paramoralism. In other words, he won’t use a fallacy only to win a point but also use it moralistically in order to corrode the other’s moral thinking.
How would a psychopath argue ad hominem? Several readers have mentioned precisely this example: “What kind of Christian are you to accuse me of this?” (Again, the other’s Christianity is irrelevant to the topic at hand.) Can you see the difference? Unlike the examples above where the opponent’s Christianity is used to score a point or bring the argument to an end, here the other is being denounced as a bad Christian. An open-minded person is likely to say to themselves, “Maybe he’s right. Perhaps I’m the bad one here.”
Perhaps you have an example to share of the bewildering speech of a psychopath?
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For glimpse into the wacky thought-processes of the narcissist see this article.
My ex had a history of infidelity while she was with me. Over the years I learned to recognize when this was probably taking place. Yes, I know, I know, I should not have put up with it, but I did, and that’s my mistake (actually, one of many on my part.). If I confronted her with the question if she was seeing or talking with somebody else she would always reply “Whose ring am I wearing Jamie?”. Now I realize that she wasn’t answering my question, she had deflected it in another direction, as if making me feel stupid for ever questioning he fidelity. I am able to look back now, and I see many many inconsistencies like this. Her speech patterns were garbled, it was hard to decipher what she was saying at times, and the hardest thing to do was listen to her read out loud. The stumbling erratic pattern of her speech was odd. She would hesitate over words that were so simple, and there was no consistent rhythm to her speaking. Most people have a recognizable rhythm patter when they speak out loud, almost like a signature or a fingerprint. She had none. As we read out loud I think we tend to conceptualize what we are reading, and we can predict, in way, what is going to be following what we have just read. She seemed unable to do this, as if there were stage missing in her thought processes between reading the written word, processing the information, and then verbalizing it. It became increasingly frustrating for me to listen, but I tried. There were words that, if you had absorbed what you had just read, would have been the only choice to use next, and yet she hesitated and stumbled on these too, many times inserting the wrong word, totally inappropriate to the context. It wasn’t dyslexia, she was tested for that as a child. Is there some correlation between this sort of thing and sociopathy? A flaw somewhere along the information receiving/processing/transmitting pathway?
Just wondered, that’s all.
Regis Phelbin from tv also refers to himself alot in the 3rd person. I don’t know if Regis wants to escape himself, and if this was a sign my ex wanted to escape himself. But I know a few other people who wanted to escape him.
Jen2008: I wonder if Regis did this the time before he was scheduled for open heart surgery … not wanting to be in his body … knowing what was scheduled for him in the near future?
Did anyone ever notice these teams of doctors that perform open heart … the most compassionate people I’ve ever met.
peace.
Same with Hospice folks … if they aren’t Angels walking down on our Earth …?
God bless all these humble, humble, humble people.
BigDude, they do have a weird way of expressing themselves and often given contradictory statements. Mine would often contradict himself in the same sentence. Here is an example of a voicemail he left me:
“I don’t understand why you won’t call me. I LOVE you. You’re cold XXX…. Cold. I’m gonna hate you a long f**king time you Godd*m cold hearted bitch…. I don’t know what you’re doing…why are you doing this to me? Why won’t you just pick up the phone and call me? You know how much I love you. Now call me.”
He would often contradict himself in everyday conversations too.
BigDude: My first roller coaster ride told me truth … after we broke up, never to be a couple again … I was just a platonic friend after that … took me 3 years to wean him off of me … anyway, he gave up truth, as he saw his life … when I asked him why he had to have so many woman going at the same time … he said “if anyone knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me … and they would break up with me, and I’d be alone, or lonely, all by myself”.
So, his insecurity of how he viewed his life … believing he wasn’t any good (whatever sense in any good you want to make of it), he didn’t want to ever be alone … to afraid to live with himself (maybe would find time to analyze himself?) … so, had multiple partners going at the same time … in case one kicked them to the curb … they had some where to go, and someone to do things with … interchangeable partners.
I think that’s why they cheat on everyone … due to their insecurities they never faced, worked through … fixed or through out of their lives totally … to move on in life … always having the same ole baggage carrying around with them.
As for the incorrect speaking problems … insecurity again … thinking that they are not worthy to learn anything properly.
I’m telling you, the more I see on this blogg, the more I’m leaning to our EXs’ problems are insecurity and low, low self esteem issues that they never resolve so they run from everything and everyone in their lives … and put that haunty smirk on their faces to prove they aren’t broken.
I think we are looking at them all wrong … due to the pain they cause us … I think they are really screaming out for help, but don’t know how or refuse to admit it.
Peace.
Well, Wini, I suppose that could be part of the problem. I lean more towards thinking they don’t bond with anyone, that sex is something that motivates them due to that being one of the pleasures they can actually feel, most of them seem to have high sex drives and like alot of sex , they enjoy the high and thrill of sneaking around and getting over on you by screwing around so that also gives them pleasure feelings plus it is a way for them to degrade you, plus since they have no conscience and don’t have to deal with any guilt feelings over it, they just see something they want and see no reason not to, so they just go for it.
Jen2008: I’m still sitting on the fence about the sex issue with any of them.
Because they know what’s going on in the world … they know sex is conducted between couples. Not knowing the full concept of what the sexual act is between a loving couple … they just mimmick the sex act … knowing sex is what adults do.
I don’t think they care one way or the other about sex. I think they have a lot of sex, because they have so many partners going at the same time … that’s why they are constantly having it.
Peace.
Jen2008: What if drinking a milkshake was the intimate bonding of a couple.
I suppose “they” would never have sex again, but drink a lot of milkshakes instead.
Milkshake with this partner, milkshake with that partner … hey, we’d all see them then … they’d be huge! (LOL).
Wini Sex is Physicaly stimulating Duh I am Bord so I’ll just F8ck something! :)~