How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Tips for co-parenting with a sociopath

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UPDATED FOR 2024. Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman who we'll call “Penny.” She's been in a custody battle with the father of her child, who she believes is a sociopath. Although Penny has been able to gain full physical and legal custody of the child, and has a restraining order against the father, he still has visitation so Penny must deal with child exchanges. She's provided the following tips for others who are in similar situations.1. Stay strong in God! I know that this is difficult at times because I myself have been tried so much. Go to church regularly and tell the pastor(s) and counselors at your church what you are dealing with and ask them and the congregation t …

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5 warning signs that your online love is a scammer

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It’s wonderful to hear, “I love you.” But if the words are coming from someone you recently met online, maybe what they really mean is, “I’d love to exploit you.” Is this person for real, or is your online love a scammer?The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) recently released its 2023 report, and cybercrime continues to climb. The report states:"In 2023, IC3 received a record number of complaints from the American public: 880,418 complaints were registered, with potential losses exceeding $12.5 billion. This is a nearly 10% increase in complaints received, and it represents a 22% increase in losses suffered, compared to 2022."Included in those totals are 17,823 complaints of confide …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I was dismissed with a shrug

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman who we'll call “Trista.” She tells her story of being dismissed with a shrug.I met the man who has been my husband for 30 years in a language school. He was serious, but could be funny, a bit shy, but also had a way with words. He had beautiful eyes and lots of girls were in love with him. I was no exception, but it was me he chose to go out with.The relationship soon took off and we were a pair. Those first days were good; I had no idea I was dealing with a sociopath. When I took him to meet my mother, however, when things were very serious between us, she said that she thought he needed some “help.” I dismissed it.I did real …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The most important one-liner you will ever hear

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UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Genevieve79.” She explains the Crazymaking One-Liner.I've reached the age of 30 having been on the receiving end of a number of personality disordered individuals, mostly female but the odd male too. I spent (wasted?!) my twenties ducking and diving these people, even changing career direction several times, because I didn't know how else to deal with them.As I approach my 31st birthday I think I have finally begun to crack it! These people are actually very predictable if we know how to spot them early on. An experience with yet another one on a professional forum this weekend gave me t …

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What if you decide to stay with your sociopathic spouse?

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You’ve finally figured out what’s wrong with your husband or wife — he or she is disordered. But life is complicated, and maybe you’re wondering if your best option, at least for the time being, is to stay with your sociopathic spouse. Maybe you’ve been married for years. Maybe your relationship was always confusing, your partner wasn’t honest with you, or you felt like you were being used. In the meantime, you went on with life, intermingled your finances, had kids. Now you’ve finally figured out what’s wrong — your partner is disordered. How should you deal with him or her? And how can you care for yourself?Sociopathic spouses are not created equalIf you’re trying to decide what t …

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9 questions from an 8th grade student about how sociopaths think

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I was recently interviewed by an 8th grade student who wanted to know how sociopaths think. She interviewed me on Zoom as part of a school project. I was very impressed with her questions. If we all educated ourselves about how sociopaths think like this student did, we would avoid a lot of pain.Here are nine of her questions — and the answers.1. How did you first learn about sociopaths?I married a man who turned out to be a sociopath. This con man took $225,000 from me, cheated with at least six women during our 2.5-year relationship, had a child with one of the women, and then 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy.As I w …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How I got away from the sociopath

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Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a reader who we'll call “Lia.” She shares her experience of how she got away from the sociopath.For years I felt like my life was thrown in a blender and chopped up in little pieces and those pieces included my heart, my career, my health, my sanity, my friends and my family.My first encounter with the sociopath was at NYU medical center's ER, while my 3-year-old son was being looked at for a bump in the head. This young intern doctor took a lot of interest in me and in my son's well being. After recently having ended my marriage, it felt good that a guy would become so enraptured by me. At the time I was legally separated from my husband, a …

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7 negative symptoms of sociopaths: What they don’t do

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Checklists describing the symptoms of sociopaths highlight what they do — lie, blame others, love bomb their romantic targets, pursue sex. But you should also pay attention to negative symptoms — normal human behaviors that sociopaths don’t do.One behavior that’s a pretty good indicator that you’re dealing with a sociopath is love bombing — the person is showering you with attention and affection, wants to be with you all the time, tells you how wonderful you are. Sociopaths often, although not always, do this when they’re trying to seduce a romantic partner. They can also use a modified version of the strategy in other types of relationships, such as flattering the boss at work. Ot …

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Terrorized by two sociopathic female neighbors

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I've had two female sociopaths, narcissists, or psychopaths — whichever they are, coming after me for almost 18 months.  They are simply other tenants in my apartment building and I am their "chosen one." We were never friends, in fact other than the abuse, they don't know me and vice versa.  It's been absolute mental torture to endure. They have slandered me, have had me ostracized here, lied about me, made countless police calls about me, tell others that I hurt dogs, rumor that I once "tried to strangle" a dog, that I stalk, follow, entrap, corner, harass, grab, and even was alleged to have "caused" one of them to have a fall from which she needed emergency back s …

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7 reasons why sociopaths are hot in bed

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UPDATED FOR 2024. "Best sex ever!" that's how countless Lovefraud readers have described how sociopaths are hot in bed.People have told me that they know the sociopath is bad for them, and they need to end their involvement, but they don't want to give up the sex!Other people have told me that they're afraid they'll never find another partner who is so sexually exciting!I specifically asked about sex in three Lovefraud surveys. How do people who were in romantic relationships with people whom they now believe to be sociopaths rate the sex?In the Romantic Partner Survey (2011) 75% reported the sex was extraordinary or satisfying, at least in the beginning.In the Female Sociopath Survey …

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