Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as BentNotBroken. She is having difficulty breaking off an involvement with a sociopath and really needs help.My head is so full that I don't really know where to start.I dated a man (off and on) for 2-1/2 years, and recently found out that he was having several long-term relationships at the same time. I had never been in an abusive relationship, so I didn't know what the gut-wrenching feeling meant. I didn't know to trust it.My mind is playing tricks on me at this point. Is he or isn't he? The signs are so obvious, but then I think of his face, his touch, his words, and I melt. How can this man — this love of m …
5 reasons why you can hook up with multiple sociopaths
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud received the following inquiry from a reader whom we'll call "Leslie-Marie," who believes that she was involved with multiple sociopaths. She writes:Is it not uncommon for people to have several relationships with sociopaths and/or narcissists throughout their life? I am wondering if you would do a write up on this topic as I find it so difficult to explain to others. They look at me in such disbelief, as if I'm making it up. It would be nice to have something to back me up. I can count 7 at least that I am certain of and have been closely involved with... Would you also consider explaining how this cycle can continue on what is it about us that attracts them or …
5 reasons why you can hook up with multiple sociopathsRead More
10 Reasons why sociopaths really are losers
UPDATED FOR 2023. If you're struggling to get over an encounter with a sociopath — whether a romantic relationship or some other involvement — keep this in mind: They are losers.They are not worth any emotional energy that you are spending on them, or any pain that you feel. Here's 10 reasons why: 1 Sociopaths cannot love the way you doThe root of serious personality disorders — antisocial, narcissistic, borderline and psychopathy — is an impaired ability to love. These people cannot feel empathy like you do. They are not interested in caregiving — a critical component of real love. People diagnosed as antisocials or psychopaths are not capable of love at all.2. Sociopaths can …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This was all about him and all about what he needed
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who we'll call “Kay.” She discovered that her magic relationship was all about him.Kay and the Loser in Aluminum FoilHe was prince charming, at least to me he was. We liked the same music, the same food, we spoke about the same topics, liked frequenting the same places, everything was so right.My friends, however, had a complete aversion to his instant overbearing interest in all things Kay. He completely immersed himself in my life and was constantly "making sure" I was okay. He made sure he monopolized all my time. He would call me approximately 20-25 times a day. During working hours he made sure he called me at lea …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This was all about him and all about what he neededRead More
When the parents of your sociopathic ex want to see their grandchildren
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud received an email from a reader who has a daughter with a sociopath and wants to know what she should do about the sociopath's parents, her daughter's paternal grandparents. She wrote:My issue with my daughter's paternal grandparents is that I don't trust them with my daughter. It's not because they are bad people, but because my sociopathic ex has victimized his parents over and over and over again and has no respect for what they say. His mother is his biggest enabler and both of his parents want him to be involved with our daughter (he has abandoned her) in the worst way. They pressure him about it nonstop. I fear that if I allow my daughter to be without me in …
When the parents of your sociopathic ex want to see their grandchildrenRead More
10 reasons why psychopaths get away with it
UPDATED FOR 2023. Why is it that psychopaths frequently get away with cheating, abuse, backstabbing, fraud, theft, and other nefarious activities — even murder? Here are 10 strategies that these exploiters may employ to escape accountability.They lie while looking you right in they eye, without a trace of nervousness or guilt. If they're caught in a lie, they easily lie to cover the lie. It's no wonder they are believed.They say they would NEVER do such a thing, and HOW can you possibly accuse THEM of such behavior? Everyone doubts you, and you even doubt yourself.If that's you, they ruin your credibility, often starting the smear campaign long before you even realize what they've done to y …
6 reasons why sociopaths seem so romantic – but they’re all fake
UPDATED FOR 2023. People who have been in a relationship with a sociopath frequently say that they were swept off their feet in a whirlwind romance. But what, exactly, does that mean?Here are six strategies that sociopaths employ to make you fall for them hard and fast — and why the romance is not at all what it seems to be.1. Sociopaths want to be with you, or in contact with you, all the timeThey call for dates. They want to hang out. They book your calendar weeks in advance. They may go to great lengths to see you — driving long distances or booking a flight. You may feel overwhelmed with the attention, and believe that your new romantic interest is just so smitten with you that he or she …
6 reasons why sociopaths seem so romantic – but they’re all fakeRead More
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: When The Player becomes The Played
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman who we'll call Lorraine. She is 51 years old and lives in Australia. The name of the man she was involved with has been changed.I became involved with David, 49, after joining up to the dating site in September last year when I was emotionally down after a divorce and being on my own for awhile. I have heard both good and bad stories about online romances and was fully aware of women being ripped off financially. Well that was never going to happen to me, for I am too smart for that. But quite clearly not too smart for being taken emotionally.Within days of placing my profile complete with photo of myself I had received lots …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: When The Player becomes The PlayedRead More
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated
Editor's note: Lovefraud received this letter from a reader who we'll call “Abigail.” She relates how she felt bonded to a man, even after he brutally assaulted her.I grew up very sheltered in an ultra-religious family; I had no knowledge whatsoever about deceitful liars. I should have because my also very innocent and trusting mother was misled by one man like that, who deceived her, promising her marriage, just to end up getting her pregnant (with me) and then leave her and us for good. My family, however, preferred to deal with this issue by keeping it as much secret as possible, so unfortunately I couldn't learn from my mother's mistakes.I have been sheltered in a "glass box" all my lif …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseatedRead More
Hamas terrorists: Psychopaths or brainwashed
I’ve had trouble sleeping the past few nights. I feel a general sense of horror and fear after the Hamas terrorist attacks on Israel. The stories and images are heinous beyond words. Hamas terrorists have killed more than 1,200 Israelis — men, women and children — and kidnapped more than a hundred civilians and soldiers. The level of brutality is truly shocking. Atrocities include:This isn’t “resistance.” It isn’t even war. It’s barbarism.Psychopathic killersWhat kind of person can chop off a baby’s head? The first answer is a psychopath. Robert Hare said that psychopaths kill with about the same level of stress that we might have when carving a Thanksgiving turkey. In his classic book,& …