Lovefraud received this story from a reader whom we’ll call Gary22, who is battling his sociopathic wife in divorce court. One month short of being married for 10 years and together for 15 years, my estranged wife filed the divorce with children paperwork. Where I live, having 3 children under the age of 12 and being male basically means I'd better just get a second job to cover child support, possibly spousal support, and hope I have enough money left to rent a place. I know, I know, sounds like I'm just over exaggerating but I can give you names of former couples that are testaments of this one-sided court system. Troubles many years ago I will add since I own my mistake and don't t …
Why we comply with the sociopath’s demands when we know we shouldn’t
The cable TV network NewsNation recently interviewed me for a story about why some women help inmates bust out of jail. This is obviously wrong and illegal, but multiple people have done it (See Top 10 people who helped their lovers escape from prison.) Experts generally report that many prisoners are sociopaths—this is probably especially true of those who plot escapes. So the question is, why do people who know better comply with the sociopath's demands, including outrageous demands like escaping from prison? In the most recent jailbreak, Samuel Hartman, convicted of raping a nine-year-old child, escaped from an Arkansas prison work detail, allegedly with the help of his mother and wife. N …
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Deny, attack, play the victim: the typical abuser response to confrontation
If you ever attempt to talk to sociopaths about their bad behavior, you’ll probably encounter the following: They’ll deny that they did anything wrong, attack you for bringing it up, and then claim that it’s all your fault and you should be apologizing to them. You’ll be shocked, but you shouldn’t be. Research shows that this is the typical abuser response to confrontation. One researcher studied women who confronted people who had sexually abused them as children. What happened? 44% of the victims heard complete denials from their abusers 22% were accused of misunderstanding the abuser’s conduct 44% were told they were crazy 22% heard a partial admission of guilt, only to ha …
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Psychopaths at work – everything you need to know in one breezy article
No matter what you do for a living, there’s a good chance that you’ll come across psychopaths at work. Why? It’s quite simple — we live among millions of psychopaths, and they’re everywhere. These disordered individuals are hiding in plain sight in all demographic groups, communities and walks of life. So yes, you’ll encounter them on the job — perhaps as co-workers, customers, or vendors. Or, in a particularly difficult situation, the psychopath could be your boss. So how do you spot psychopaths at work? And if you think someone might have the traits, what do you do? I recently came across this terrific explanation and summary at Observer.com: This is how to deal with psychopaths and toxi …
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High-energy sociopaths — 5 reasons why they just keep pushing
If you’ve had a sociopath in your life — as a romantic partner, family member, work colleague or acquaintance — you may have observed that the person always seems to be in overdrive. What is it with these high-energy sociopaths? They never let up. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who had the misfortune of being romantically involved with someone she described as having the traits of a malignant narcissist. Here is her question: How do sociopaths/narcissists/psychopaths have so much energy? I would feel completely exhausted after getting engaged in any sort of conversation. He, on the other, he felt fine despite the fact that he was my only source of emotional and ver …
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Sociopaths bullying the disabled
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a man whom we’ll call Sam22. He describes his experience of sociopaths bullying the disabled. I met a sociopath in New Orleans. It requires a lot of details to explain such a complicated and long story. Basically I was looking for someone to help me with a move to California. He drove a moving truck for me. I knew nothing about his long criminal record (in several states). I also was unaware that he was wanted by the city of New Orleans. That would be the last thing I would suspect anyway since he attacked me and the police did nothing about it there. Became roommates So there was a series of violent unmanageable incidents with …
‘Under the ether’ – why you fell for the scam
When I finally realized that my husband was a complete con artist, and I had been thoroughly duped and betrayed, the person I was most angry with was myself. I’m intelligent, educated, responsible and self-sufficient. Why did I waste $227,000 of my hard-earned money on his so-called business plans? Most of them, it turned out, involved trysts with other women. Why did I believe him? Why did I fall for the scam? I am certainly not alone in asking these questions. In 2021, American consumers lost a record $547 million in romance scams, according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). This was a jump of nearly 80% over 2020. Losses to romance scammers in the last five years totaled $1.3 b …
Obituary for a sociopath: Evil does eventually die
https://youtu.be/lFz3Ye351YE It's refreshing, and for some people healing, to see an honest obituary for a sociopath. Lawrence H Pfaff Sr. died recently, and the notice in the Florida Times Union reflected how his son truly felt about him: Lawrence H Pfaff Sr. was born in Belmont, NY, on April 16, 1941. He passed away on June 27, 2022, living a long life, much longer than he deserved. He is survived by his three children, no four. Oops, five children. Well as of 2022 we believe there is one more that we know about, but there could be more. His love was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited. From a young age, he was a ladies' man and an abusive alcoholic, …
Perspecticide and percepticide: effects of psychological terror
The primary goal of anyone trapped in an abusive situation is survival. When you feel like you aren’t in charge of your life, and you see no way out, how do you survive? This can happen to people who are being coercively controlled in an intimate relationship, are stuck in a cult, or are living in a region of declared or undeclared war. Sometimes the situation is so threatening that the mind can’t deal with it. Psychological solutions include perspecticide and percepticide — the inability to see what is really happening. I first encountered the term “perspecticide” in a Business Insider article from 2017 entitled, Manipulative people brainwash their partners using something called ‘perspect …
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I was caught in a trauma bond with a psychopath
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Samantha22.” Her husband said, “their love was destined in the stars.” Much later, she realized that what she felt wasn’t love, it was a trauma bond. I was caught in his gaze when I was out one evening watching his band play a local pub. He didn’t take his eyes off of me, and my boyfriend at the time wanted to leave. A few months later, I was single and I saw he was playing again, and I planned to go with a girlfriend. She bailed right before, so I went on my own. A promoter was chatting with me about music, and saw him and offered to introduce me. I first declined, saying that’s okay, but he’s insisting, s …