• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths – narcissists in relationships

How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars

BOOK REVIEW: The 48 Laws of Power

You are here: Home / Book reviews / BOOK REVIEW: The 48 Laws of Power

December 29, 2010 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  215 Comments

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

By Ox Drover

Many times on Lovefraud, bloggers have joked with me that a particular phrase or behavior “came out of the ”˜Psychopath’s play book,’“ the kind of book in which a football team would write all their usual plays.

I recently bought a book entitled, The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene, because it sounded like an interesting book. But the more I got into it, I realized that the heretofore-thought-mythical “Psychopathic Play book” does exist, and this is it!

Robert Greene, by the way, also wrote The Art of Seduction.

Here’s what the jacket blurb on the back of The 48 Laws of Power says about its content:

The best-selling book for those who want POWER, watch POWER, or want to arm themselves against POWER. Amoral, cunning, ruthless and instructive, this piercing work distills three thousand years of the history of power into forty-eight well explicated laws. As attention-grabbing in its design as in its content, this bold volume outlines the laws of power in their unvarnished essence, synthesizing the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Carol Von Clausewitz and other great thinkers. Some laws require prudence, some stealth, some total absence of mercy, but like it or not, all have applications in real-life situations. Illustrated through the tactics of Queen Elizabeth I, Henry Kissinger, P. T. Barnum, and other famous figures who have wielded, or been victimized by power, these laws will fascinate any reader interested in gaining, observing, or defending against ultimate control.

The 48 laws are listed in the contents

Law 1: Never outshine the master

Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies

Law 3: Conceal your intentions

Law 4: Always say less than necessary

Law 5: So much depends on reputation—guard it with your life

Law 6: Court attention at all cost

Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit

Law 8: Make other people come to you—use bait if necessary

Law 9: Win through your actions, never through argument

Law 10: Infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky

Law 11: Learn to keep people dependent on you

Law 12: Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim

Law 13: When asking for help, appeal to people’s self-interest, never to their mercy or gratitude

Law 14: Pose as a friend, work as a spy

Law 15: Crush your enemy totally

Law 16: Use absence to increase respect and honor

Law 17: Cultivate an air of unpredictability

Law 18: Do not built fortresses to protect yourself, isolation is dangerous

Law 19: Know who you’re dealing with—do not offend the wrong person

Law 20: Do not commit to anyone

Law 21: Play a sucker to catch a sucker—seem dumber than your mark

Law 22: Use the surrender tactic: Transform weakness into power

Law 23: Concentrate your forces

Law 24: Play the perfect courtier

Law 25: Re-create yourself

Law 26: Keep your hands clean

Law 27: Play on people’s need to believe to create a cult-like following

Law 28: Enter action with boldness

Law 29: Play all the way to the end

Law 30: Make your accomplishments seem effortless

Law 31: Control the options: Get others to play with the cards you deal

Law 32: Play to people’s fantasies

Law 33: Discover each man’s thumb screw

Law 34:Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like a king

Law 35: Master the art of timing

Law 36: Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge

Law 37: Create compelling spectacles

Law 38: Think as you like but behave like others

Law 39: Stir up waters to catch fish

Law 40: Despise the free lunch

Law 41: Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes

Law 42 Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter

Law 43: Work on the hearts and minds of others

Law 44: Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect

Law 45: Preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once

Law 46: Never appear too perfect

Law 47: Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop

Law 48: Assume formlessness

Perfect advice for psychopaths

The preface of the book gets right down to business:

No one wants less power, everyone wants more ”¦ in the world today,  however, it is dangerous to seem too power hungry, to be overt with your power moves. We have to seem fair and decent. So we need to be subtle—congenial yet cunning, democratic, yet devious.

This game of constant duplicity most resembles the power dynamic that existed in the scheming world of the old aristocratic court(s).

The author, Greene, then goes on to perfectly describe the psychopath’s ways, without naming him such “”¦those who make a show or display of innocence are the least innocent of all.” What else but a psychopath could “recognize”¦by the way they flaunt their moral qualities, their piety, their exquisite sense of justice ”¦ but (they) are merely throwing dust in our eyes distracting us from their power plays with their air of moral superiority”¦.you will see they are often the ones most skillful at indirect manipulation, …and they greatly resent any publicizing of the tactics they use.”

Emotions

In directing his readers how to master the most important skills in acquiring power, Greene tells them that the most important foundation is to “master your emotions.” He states that an emotional response is the single greatest barrier to gaining power. In this particular thing, I totally agree with him, because if we are emotional about a situation, we lose sight of the ultimate goal, and as he says, “cannot prepare for and respond to it with any degree of control.”

Greene goes on to say that anger is the most destructive of emotional responses, and “clouds your vision the most.” Again, I totally agree with Greene in this statement, but then he goes on to add what I would think is directed more toward the vengeful psychopath than to less pathological people, “If you are trying to destroy an enemy who has hurt you, far better to keep him off-guard by feigning friendliness than showing your anger.”

The mask

Psychopaths have been described by many writers as “wearing a mask” or even “the mask of sanity.” Greene seems to be very aware of this “masking” when he advises his readers that, “You cannot succeed at deception unless you take a somewhat distanced approach to yourself—unless you can be many different people, wearing the mask that the day and moment require.”

Psychopaths tend to project blame for their behavior on to other people, to refuse to assume responsibility for any of the things they have done. They lie “when the truth would fit better.” Greene says, “Power requires the ability to play with appearances. To this end you must learn to wear many masks and keep a bag full of deceptive tricks.” He goes on to say, “Playing with appearances and mastering arts of deception are among the aesthetic pleasures of life. They are also the key components in the acquisition of power.”

Green does not seem to view deception or the acquisition of power as anything immoral, and he actually says, “Power is essentially amoral”¦power is a game”¦and in games you do not judge your opponents by their intentions but by the effect of their actions.” He goes on to advise the reader to not be caught by assuming that someone has good intentions, or that their good intentions matter. Greene advises his readers that some sets of moral judgments are “really an excuse for the accumulation of power.” I can definitely agree with that last statement. Frequently, religion and moral judgments are used as justification for a power stance that has no other legitimacy, and does great harm to the victims.

Chapter One

For each of the 48 laws of power, Green has a short chapter that consists of the name of the law, the first being, “Never Outshine the Master.”  Then he has a section called “Judgment,” in which he explains more fully the named law of power. The first law is reasonably self-explanatory and makes sense, really, because if you show your boss you are superior to him/her, then he/she will resent you.

After giving several good examples of using this law, or failing to use this law, Greene finishes up Chapter One by saying, “You cannot worry about upsetting every person you come across, but you must be selectively cruel. If your superior is a falling star, there is nothing to fear in outshining him. Do not be merciful—your master had no such scruples in his own cold-blooded climb to the top. Gauge his strength. If he is weak, discreetly hasten his downfall: Outdo, outcharm, outsmart him at key moments.”

While this book seems aimed at the “amoral-wannabe-politician on the way up,” rather than the psychopathic “wannabe-gang-banger thug” on the corner who is illiterate, I think that those of us who have had or even will have associations with psychopaths, or “Snakes in Suits” (to highjack the name of the book as a noun), should read this to learn how to discern when we are being played by the power-seeker. If we can recognize the masks for their deceptive cover, we can avoid the consequences of being played, or possibly turn the play back on to the player.

Disturbing, but necessary, reading

Frankly, this book made me uncomfortable while I was reading it, I think possibly by showing me “red flags” of power plays that I had experienced in the past, but had not quite recognized at the time I was being played. However, I do think the knowledge I gained by reading this book is well worth the slight discomfort. It isn’t a book that you can “zip through” quickly, but one that must, like the textbook that it is, read and ponder, and even re-read, and ponder again.

The most personally disturbing part of the book was one in which he was discussing the siege of Troy, and he said, “Image: The Trojan Horse. Your guile is hidden inside a magnificent gift that proves irresistible to your opponent. The walls open. Once inside, wreak havoc.”

We must learn to protect ourselves from those power-players who have no conscience, the power players who will use calculated acts of kindness or proffered gifts to earn our trust. Selective kindness can be the biggest part of the arsenal of deception. “Aimed for the heart, it corrodes the will to fight back.”

The 48 Laws of Power is available on Amazon.com.

Category: Book reviews, Explaining the sociopath

Previous Post: « Private behavior and the public good
Next Post: BOOK REVIEW: The Gaslight Effect Redux »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. lesson learned

    January 2, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    Yep S1 I totally get it. Exact same for me. I’m still angry, but yet it’s all still fresh for me and POS tried to contact me the other day..I’m recovering from that incident while still trying to recover from all of the rest. I have SO much work to do!! IT”S OVERWHELMING!!!

    One, my son is gay. He says he has more issues with other gay men than he does those that are heterosexual. One of his gay friends told him”Once you get past those heterosexuals in your life processing that you’re gay, it’s time to face those that already are and they can be even WORSE”…that scares me for my son because he is a gentle heart. I think we need to have some more conversations about staying emotionally safe. I’m glad you brought your situation to light for me and I appreciate it, it helps more than you know.

    Log in to Reply
  2. lesson learned

    January 2, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    ONE LOL!!!

    Typo?? ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISSED IT TOO!

    Log in to Reply
  3. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    January 2, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    IT’S FREAKIN’ AWESOME!!

    IT’S THE ‘OVERKILL’ – A ‘COW BEATEN’ DOG…I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT?!

    SNORT
    SNORT
    CHORTLE 🙂

    Log in to Reply
  4. soimnotthecrazee1

    January 2, 2011 at 11:42 pm

    One,
    It is a “cow” kicked cornered dog that Ox refers to! Ask her!!!
    Thanks for sharing your info and go ahead and delete it for your own security!!! Your life is your choices and your freedom to do so, no judgement from me Hugzz!!

    Log in to Reply
  5. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    January 2, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    LL – can I ask how old he is? just what decade he is in.

    it is hard…there is so much to process. it’s a lot of work – you have to deal with both worlds and figure out what to take and reject from both. it’s so much more than who we love and sleep with, bond and make lives with. all the extraneous stuff – the cultural expectations take a lot of work – both cultures, str8t and gay. I loved coming out. but then after about a year or so i started seeing the confinements of the lesbian community too.

    i have spent most of my adult life single. In the last 20 years there has only been my n ex gf, and the spath. I had had a relationship with someone when i was in my late 20’s that scarred me. I didn’t trust myself for a long long time after that. When i did venture out again, there were a few 1st and 2nd dates. Then i went overseas. When i came home, I discovered the internet – it is SO hard to find women to date. I don’t fit any stereotypes, and i will not date people stuck in the decade they came out in! (that’s a big problem in the lesbian community – it’s like people getting stuck in their high school attitudes)

    And the internet borught me a few dates with a doctor, the n, and the spath. oh joy. 🙁

    Log in to Reply
  6. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    January 2, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    notcrazee 🙂
    wel, cow kicked it a bit different than ‘cow beaten’…that suggests the use of opposable thumbs!

    yah gotta understand – i grew up on a dairy farm…snort chortle…

    Log in to Reply
  7. soimnotthecrazee1

    January 3, 2011 at 12:05 am

    One,
    I understand!!! You gotta understand…. I grew up on the beach… what the hell is a cow?

    Log in to Reply
  8. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    January 3, 2011 at 12:07 am

    HAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!
    wheeeze….snort….

    Log in to Reply
  9. KatyDid

    January 3, 2011 at 12:11 am

    one step,
    Don’t know what your “type” is (as long as it’s not conservative b/c there are NO conservative lesbians there) but Go visit northcoast california in summer. Arcata. where the Dead live and the 60’s never died. GREAT alternative lifestyle living. Go when they have the all species parade and the women go topless (free your breasts and your mind will follow!)

    Log in to Reply
  10. lesson learned

    January 3, 2011 at 12:13 am

    One LOL Snort snort chortle LOL!

    Why is it that I can hear you doing that LOL!

    Not sure which you’re asking how old, my son or ex POS.

    Ex POS is 49 now. All my friends think he is just UGLY…all but two have said it. I found him “gorgeous”….but I see pictures of him now and while he has a gorgeous smile, he’s really quite gross the rest of the way. My gay son is twenty now. I worry a lot for him! He sees the limitations as well, even at his age, one, and he’s quite picky. But I still worry. He believes he will find love someday, but for right now, he’s content NOT getting into a relationship. For that it’s a BIG sigh of relief!! I could easily see why it would be difficult to find single women out there, Chica. I really could. I wonder how many of the lesbians out there are also spath. I’ve known some lesbian women that were fantastic people! I can’t count them all out, just like I can’t in the male heterosexual community but I think the hypervigilance Spath radar is up for any of us in this kind of relationshit, ya know? Not related to gender or sexual orientation, preferences, etc.

    I don’t want to have given up hope altogether…kinda pisses me off that POS can just skip along to another woman and not think a thing of it. They’ll never be without “someone” there to torture but for those of us that feel…….it’s a different story.

    Log in to Reply
« Older Comments
Newer Comments »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Primary Sidebar

Shortcuts to Lovefraud information

Shortcuts to the Lovefraud information you're looking for:

Explaining everyday sociopaths

Is your partner a sociopath?

How to leave or divorce a sociopath

Recovery from a sociopath

Senior Sociopaths

Love Fraud - Donna Andersen's story

Share your story and help change the world

Lovefraud Blog categories

  • Explaining sociopaths
    • Female sociopaths
    • Scientific research
    • Workplace sociopaths
    • Book reviews
  • Seduced by a sociopath
    • Targeted Teens and 20s
  • Sociopaths and family
    • Law and court
  • Recovery from a sociopath
    • Spiritual and energetic recovery
    • For children of sociopaths
    • For parents of sociopaths
  • Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
    • Media sociopaths
  • Lovefraud Continuing Education

Footer

Inside Lovefraud

  • Author profiles
  • Blog categories
  • Post archives by year
  • Media coverage
  • Press releases
  • Visitor agreement

Your Lovefraud

  • Register for Lovefraud.com
  • Sign up for the Lovefraud Newsletter
  • How to comment
  • Guidelines for comments
  • Become a Lovefraud CE Affiliate
  • Lovefraud Affiliate Dashboard
  • Contact Lovefraud
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme