By Ox Drover
Many times on Lovefraud, bloggers have joked with me that a particular phrase or behavior “came out of the ”˜Psychopath’s play book,’“ the kind of book in which a football team would write all their usual plays.
I recently bought a book entitled, The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene, because it sounded like an interesting book. But the more I got into it, I realized that the heretofore-thought-mythical “Psychopathic Play book” does exist, and this is it!
Robert Greene, by the way, also wrote The Art of Seduction.
Here’s what the jacket blurb on the back of The 48 Laws of Power says about its content:
The best-selling book for those who want POWER, watch POWER, or want to arm themselves against POWER. Amoral, cunning, ruthless and instructive, this piercing work distills three thousand years of the history of power into forty-eight well explicated laws. As attention-grabbing in its design as in its content, this bold volume outlines the laws of power in their unvarnished essence, synthesizing the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Carol Von Clausewitz and other great thinkers. Some laws require prudence, some stealth, some total absence of mercy, but like it or not, all have applications in real-life situations. Illustrated through the tactics of Queen Elizabeth I, Henry Kissinger, P. T. Barnum, and other famous figures who have wielded, or been victimized by power, these laws will fascinate any reader interested in gaining, observing, or defending against ultimate control.
The 48 laws are listed in the contents
Law 1: Never outshine the master
Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies
Law 3: Conceal your intentions
Law 4: Always say less than necessary
Law 5: So much depends on reputation—guard it with your life
Law 6: Court attention at all cost
Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit
Law 8: Make other people come to you—use bait if necessary
Law 9: Win through your actions, never through argument
Law 10: Infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky
Law 11: Learn to keep people dependent on you
Law 12: Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim
Law 13: When asking for help, appeal to people’s self-interest, never to their mercy or gratitude
Law 14: Pose as a friend, work as a spy
Law 15: Crush your enemy totally
Law 16: Use absence to increase respect and honor
Law 17: Cultivate an air of unpredictability
Law 18: Do not built fortresses to protect yourself, isolation is dangerous
Law 19: Know who you’re dealing with—do not offend the wrong person
Law 20: Do not commit to anyone
Law 21: Play a sucker to catch a sucker—seem dumber than your mark
Law 22: Use the surrender tactic: Transform weakness into power
Law 23: Concentrate your forces
Law 24: Play the perfect courtier
Law 25: Re-create yourself
Law 26: Keep your hands clean
Law 27: Play on people’s need to believe to create a cult-like following
Law 28: Enter action with boldness
Law 29: Play all the way to the end
Law 30: Make your accomplishments seem effortless
Law 31: Control the options: Get others to play with the cards you deal
Law 32: Play to people’s fantasies
Law 33: Discover each man’s thumb screw
Law 34:Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like a king
Law 35: Master the art of timing
Law 36: Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge
Law 37: Create compelling spectacles
Law 38: Think as you like but behave like others
Law 39: Stir up waters to catch fish
Law 40: Despise the free lunch
Law 41: Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes
Law 42 Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter
Law 43: Work on the hearts and minds of others
Law 44: Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect
Law 45: Preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once
Law 46: Never appear too perfect
Law 47: Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop
Law 48: Assume formlessness
Perfect advice for psychopaths
The preface of the book gets right down to business:
No one wants less power, everyone wants more ”¦ in the world today, however, it is dangerous to seem too power hungry, to be overt with your power moves. We have to seem fair and decent. So we need to be subtle—congenial yet cunning, democratic, yet devious.
This game of constant duplicity most resembles the power dynamic that existed in the scheming world of the old aristocratic court(s).
The author, Greene, then goes on to perfectly describe the psychopath’s ways, without naming him such “”¦those who make a show or display of innocence are the least innocent of all.” What else but a psychopath could “recognize”¦by the way they flaunt their moral qualities, their piety, their exquisite sense of justice ”¦ but (they) are merely throwing dust in our eyes distracting us from their power plays with their air of moral superiority”¦.you will see they are often the ones most skillful at indirect manipulation, …and they greatly resent any publicizing of the tactics they use.”
Emotions
In directing his readers how to master the most important skills in acquiring power, Greene tells them that the most important foundation is to “master your emotions.” He states that an emotional response is the single greatest barrier to gaining power. In this particular thing, I totally agree with him, because if we are emotional about a situation, we lose sight of the ultimate goal, and as he says, “cannot prepare for and respond to it with any degree of control.”
Greene goes on to say that anger is the most destructive of emotional responses, and “clouds your vision the most.” Again, I totally agree with Greene in this statement, but then he goes on to add what I would think is directed more toward the vengeful psychopath than to less pathological people, “If you are trying to destroy an enemy who has hurt you, far better to keep him off-guard by feigning friendliness than showing your anger.”
The mask
Psychopaths have been described by many writers as “wearing a mask” or even “the mask of sanity.” Greene seems to be very aware of this “masking” when he advises his readers that, “You cannot succeed at deception unless you take a somewhat distanced approach to yourself—unless you can be many different people, wearing the mask that the day and moment require.”
Psychopaths tend to project blame for their behavior on to other people, to refuse to assume responsibility for any of the things they have done. They lie “when the truth would fit better.” Greene says, “Power requires the ability to play with appearances. To this end you must learn to wear many masks and keep a bag full of deceptive tricks.” He goes on to say, “Playing with appearances and mastering arts of deception are among the aesthetic pleasures of life. They are also the key components in the acquisition of power.”
Green does not seem to view deception or the acquisition of power as anything immoral, and he actually says, “Power is essentially amoral”¦power is a game”¦and in games you do not judge your opponents by their intentions but by the effect of their actions.” He goes on to advise the reader to not be caught by assuming that someone has good intentions, or that their good intentions matter. Greene advises his readers that some sets of moral judgments are “really an excuse for the accumulation of power.” I can definitely agree with that last statement. Frequently, religion and moral judgments are used as justification for a power stance that has no other legitimacy, and does great harm to the victims.
Chapter One
For each of the 48 laws of power, Green has a short chapter that consists of the name of the law, the first being, “Never Outshine the Master.” Then he has a section called “Judgment,” in which he explains more fully the named law of power. The first law is reasonably self-explanatory and makes sense, really, because if you show your boss you are superior to him/her, then he/she will resent you.
After giving several good examples of using this law, or failing to use this law, Greene finishes up Chapter One by saying, “You cannot worry about upsetting every person you come across, but you must be selectively cruel. If your superior is a falling star, there is nothing to fear in outshining him. Do not be merciful—your master had no such scruples in his own cold-blooded climb to the top. Gauge his strength. If he is weak, discreetly hasten his downfall: Outdo, outcharm, outsmart him at key moments.”
While this book seems aimed at the “amoral-wannabe-politician on the way up,” rather than the psychopathic “wannabe-gang-banger thug” on the corner who is illiterate, I think that those of us who have had or even will have associations with psychopaths, or “Snakes in Suits” (to highjack the name of the book as a noun), should read this to learn how to discern when we are being played by the power-seeker. If we can recognize the masks for their deceptive cover, we can avoid the consequences of being played, or possibly turn the play back on to the player.
Disturbing, but necessary, reading
Frankly, this book made me uncomfortable while I was reading it, I think possibly by showing me “red flags” of power plays that I had experienced in the past, but had not quite recognized at the time I was being played. However, I do think the knowledge I gained by reading this book is well worth the slight discomfort. It isn’t a book that you can “zip through” quickly, but one that must, like the textbook that it is, read and ponder, and even re-read, and ponder again.
The most personally disturbing part of the book was one in which he was discussing the siege of Troy, and he said, “Image: The Trojan Horse. Your guile is hidden inside a magnificent gift that proves irresistible to your opponent. The walls open. Once inside, wreak havoc.”
We must learn to protect ourselves from those power-players who have no conscience, the power players who will use calculated acts of kindness or proffered gifts to earn our trust. Selective kindness can be the biggest part of the arsenal of deception. “Aimed for the heart, it corrodes the will to fight back.”
The 48 Laws of Power is available on Amazon.com.
CAmom:
Do you have support? Are you seeking any help?
I am sorry your at this place. You are right….the only way out is through……..I’m glad you are accepting that reality.
One day, and I hope soon……you will regain your life AS YOU want it to be.
You deserve peace and happiness and to be content in your now.
I’ve thought a lot about you……know your not alone in your thoughts.
Very busy indeed! New beginnings for you! xxoo
Thanks EB, no therapy yet, just talking with his friends, which helps. Counting on the old ‘time heals’ thing. It helps to know I’m not alone, thank you EB. xx
CAmom,
I didn’t mean to hit a sore nerve with you. I don’t know your history. like you don’t know mine!!! sorry if you don’t like how I feel about my ex…. he caused it hisself! I loved that man with every cell of my body! NOT ANYMORE!!!
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OMG EB,
I see why we haven’t heard from you!!! I hope you get comfy and are able to deal with that legal crap. Poor Holly!! Can I take her??? You keep the crotch scratching bear! I am glad to hear you have help! Keep moving woman! I have faith in you!
Hugsss
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Dear EB: Mojo your way sister! Glad you are getting stuff moved! Sounds like you have called in the entire crew!
Tox Avoider I just now saw your posts to me…sometimes a thread will get buried before someone sees a post to them. I’m glad you liked the article, and I am actually still in the process of reading and digesting this book. it is not something yoiu can just sit down and read through…each page, each paragraph has to be digested, pondered and thought about.
I do have a half sib who I think is a psychopath, but he is not in my life and hasn’t been since he was very little…just a grim little kid. Even then though, I think I saw problems with him, he would come home every day with his clothes torn mostly off, from fighting his way home after school. He made all As in school and the teachers loved him, as far as I know, but he was very “grim” and an unsmiling kid. My sperm donor had run his mother off when he was 4-5 yrs old so he had no mother and a P for a father. I knew he was not a happy child but he was an obedient child to adults, only fought with other kids out of the sight of adults…my problem “child” is my adult son (soon to be 40 who is in prison for murder).
ABSOLUTE avoidance of the person is the idea situation, but sometimes that is not possible. Glad you found LF and I hope you can gather some new resources and validation here.
Oh my God, I was the one who recommended this book on Lovefraud. Towanda, girl! TOWANDA!
Sure, this book could be seen as a playbook for spaths. But viewing it that way, you might miss some significant stories within it, where the power play is clearly shown as a defense against a spath. The story of Lola Montez comes to mind as an illustration of “Infection: Avoid the Happy and Unlucky” — a chapter I avoided for a while because the title seemed so heartless. But Lola Montez was a legendary spath! Compassionate people often fall into the trap of “loving” such a charming and needy person, and they pay a huge price for it.
Greene wrote this book to describe public situations. He isn’t saying this is or should be how people respond to each other in trusting, intimate relationships. Nonetheless, we sometimes have to set boundaries using these tactics.
Power is indeed amoral. You can use it for good or for ill. I think, though, that Greene left one power play out of this book — integrity. Sometimes it wins, without the games. Sometimes you can just cut the crap, get to the point, and say, No I won’t play. I guess you need to read up on Jesus and Buddha for that one.
Meanwhile, I confess once again that I find this book DELICIOUS. Just wicked and fun and devious. Getting in touch with my inner spath? Or just feeling powerful because I’m going to WIN from now on? Ironically, I feel I can trust more because I know I cannot be destroyed.
@Tox Avoider: My issue is also a toxic sibling. So confusing, isn’t it, when you’ve known and loved a person all their, or your, life?
Hello Miss Erin B I have been missing you..I hope you get settled before the next full moon….hugz from Dances with Moon
Sistersister, It was your recommendation that got me to buy the book. It is a wonderful, but very triggering book, and becomes more a text book, I think, than just a book to “read,” as you must ponder on the information. Also, in reading it, I got these “Oh, my goodness” moments when I realized that “that is what Psychopath a, b or c did to me.” I kept seeing examples of how the Psychopaths and other users and abusers had used these laws of “power” to win, and for me to lose.
I also get a bit of a “sense” that Greene approves of using these “laws” to win at any cost, and that he is somewhat amoral himself. I haven’t read his other book about seduction, but I just get the SENSE that he would not be “OVERLY BURDENED BY CONSCIENCE”
Unlike you, I don’t find the book “delicious” or “fun” but I respect it for what it is, it is to me like a GUN, it is something that has a lot of POWER for good or evil, and which it accomplishes depends on in whose hands it is. I am armed to the teeth with guns at my house, but I do NOT particularly LIKE guns. I’m the same way by this book, I realize it is a powerful thing, and I want the power that it can provide if I need it to defend myself (just like my gun) but I don’t LIKE it, or having to have it, but don’t feel really safe without it.