By Ox Drover
Many times on Lovefraud, bloggers have joked with me that a particular phrase or behavior “came out of the ”˜Psychopath’s play book,’“ the kind of book in which a football team would write all their usual plays.
I recently bought a book entitled, The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene, because it sounded like an interesting book. But the more I got into it, I realized that the heretofore-thought-mythical “Psychopathic Play book” does exist, and this is it!
Robert Greene, by the way, also wrote The Art of Seduction.
Here’s what the jacket blurb on the back of The 48 Laws of Power says about its content:
The best-selling book for those who want POWER, watch POWER, or want to arm themselves against POWER. Amoral, cunning, ruthless and instructive, this piercing work distills three thousand years of the history of power into forty-eight well explicated laws. As attention-grabbing in its design as in its content, this bold volume outlines the laws of power in their unvarnished essence, synthesizing the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Carol Von Clausewitz and other great thinkers. Some laws require prudence, some stealth, some total absence of mercy, but like it or not, all have applications in real-life situations. Illustrated through the tactics of Queen Elizabeth I, Henry Kissinger, P. T. Barnum, and other famous figures who have wielded, or been victimized by power, these laws will fascinate any reader interested in gaining, observing, or defending against ultimate control.
The 48 laws are listed in the contents
Law 1: Never outshine the master
Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies
Law 3: Conceal your intentions
Law 4: Always say less than necessary
Law 5: So much depends on reputation—guard it with your life
Law 6: Court attention at all cost
Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit
Law 8: Make other people come to you—use bait if necessary
Law 9: Win through your actions, never through argument
Law 10: Infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky
Law 11: Learn to keep people dependent on you
Law 12: Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim
Law 13: When asking for help, appeal to people’s self-interest, never to their mercy or gratitude
Law 14: Pose as a friend, work as a spy
Law 15: Crush your enemy totally
Law 16: Use absence to increase respect and honor
Law 17: Cultivate an air of unpredictability
Law 18: Do not built fortresses to protect yourself, isolation is dangerous
Law 19: Know who you’re dealing with—do not offend the wrong person
Law 20: Do not commit to anyone
Law 21: Play a sucker to catch a sucker—seem dumber than your mark
Law 22: Use the surrender tactic: Transform weakness into power
Law 23: Concentrate your forces
Law 24: Play the perfect courtier
Law 25: Re-create yourself
Law 26: Keep your hands clean
Law 27: Play on people’s need to believe to create a cult-like following
Law 28: Enter action with boldness
Law 29: Play all the way to the end
Law 30: Make your accomplishments seem effortless
Law 31: Control the options: Get others to play with the cards you deal
Law 32: Play to people’s fantasies
Law 33: Discover each man’s thumb screw
Law 34:Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like a king
Law 35: Master the art of timing
Law 36: Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge
Law 37: Create compelling spectacles
Law 38: Think as you like but behave like others
Law 39: Stir up waters to catch fish
Law 40: Despise the free lunch
Law 41: Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes
Law 42 Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter
Law 43: Work on the hearts and minds of others
Law 44: Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect
Law 45: Preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once
Law 46: Never appear too perfect
Law 47: Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop
Law 48: Assume formlessness
Perfect advice for psychopaths
The preface of the book gets right down to business:
No one wants less power, everyone wants more ”¦ in the world today, however, it is dangerous to seem too power hungry, to be overt with your power moves. We have to seem fair and decent. So we need to be subtle—congenial yet cunning, democratic, yet devious.
This game of constant duplicity most resembles the power dynamic that existed in the scheming world of the old aristocratic court(s).
The author, Greene, then goes on to perfectly describe the psychopath’s ways, without naming him such “”¦those who make a show or display of innocence are the least innocent of all.” What else but a psychopath could “recognize”¦by the way they flaunt their moral qualities, their piety, their exquisite sense of justice ”¦ but (they) are merely throwing dust in our eyes distracting us from their power plays with their air of moral superiority”¦.you will see they are often the ones most skillful at indirect manipulation, …and they greatly resent any publicizing of the tactics they use.”
Emotions
In directing his readers how to master the most important skills in acquiring power, Greene tells them that the most important foundation is to “master your emotions.” He states that an emotional response is the single greatest barrier to gaining power. In this particular thing, I totally agree with him, because if we are emotional about a situation, we lose sight of the ultimate goal, and as he says, “cannot prepare for and respond to it with any degree of control.”
Greene goes on to say that anger is the most destructive of emotional responses, and “clouds your vision the most.” Again, I totally agree with Greene in this statement, but then he goes on to add what I would think is directed more toward the vengeful psychopath than to less pathological people, “If you are trying to destroy an enemy who has hurt you, far better to keep him off-guard by feigning friendliness than showing your anger.”
The mask
Psychopaths have been described by many writers as “wearing a mask” or even “the mask of sanity.” Greene seems to be very aware of this “masking” when he advises his readers that, “You cannot succeed at deception unless you take a somewhat distanced approach to yourself—unless you can be many different people, wearing the mask that the day and moment require.”
Psychopaths tend to project blame for their behavior on to other people, to refuse to assume responsibility for any of the things they have done. They lie “when the truth would fit better.” Greene says, “Power requires the ability to play with appearances. To this end you must learn to wear many masks and keep a bag full of deceptive tricks.” He goes on to say, “Playing with appearances and mastering arts of deception are among the aesthetic pleasures of life. They are also the key components in the acquisition of power.”
Green does not seem to view deception or the acquisition of power as anything immoral, and he actually says, “Power is essentially amoral”¦power is a game”¦and in games you do not judge your opponents by their intentions but by the effect of their actions.” He goes on to advise the reader to not be caught by assuming that someone has good intentions, or that their good intentions matter. Greene advises his readers that some sets of moral judgments are “really an excuse for the accumulation of power.” I can definitely agree with that last statement. Frequently, religion and moral judgments are used as justification for a power stance that has no other legitimacy, and does great harm to the victims.
Chapter One
For each of the 48 laws of power, Green has a short chapter that consists of the name of the law, the first being, “Never Outshine the Master.” Then he has a section called “Judgment,” in which he explains more fully the named law of power. The first law is reasonably self-explanatory and makes sense, really, because if you show your boss you are superior to him/her, then he/she will resent you.
After giving several good examples of using this law, or failing to use this law, Greene finishes up Chapter One by saying, “You cannot worry about upsetting every person you come across, but you must be selectively cruel. If your superior is a falling star, there is nothing to fear in outshining him. Do not be merciful—your master had no such scruples in his own cold-blooded climb to the top. Gauge his strength. If he is weak, discreetly hasten his downfall: Outdo, outcharm, outsmart him at key moments.”
While this book seems aimed at the “amoral-wannabe-politician on the way up,” rather than the psychopathic “wannabe-gang-banger thug” on the corner who is illiterate, I think that those of us who have had or even will have associations with psychopaths, or “Snakes in Suits” (to highjack the name of the book as a noun), should read this to learn how to discern when we are being played by the power-seeker. If we can recognize the masks for their deceptive cover, we can avoid the consequences of being played, or possibly turn the play back on to the player.
Disturbing, but necessary, reading
Frankly, this book made me uncomfortable while I was reading it, I think possibly by showing me “red flags” of power plays that I had experienced in the past, but had not quite recognized at the time I was being played. However, I do think the knowledge I gained by reading this book is well worth the slight discomfort. It isn’t a book that you can “zip through” quickly, but one that must, like the textbook that it is, read and ponder, and even re-read, and ponder again.
The most personally disturbing part of the book was one in which he was discussing the siege of Troy, and he said, “Image: The Trojan Horse. Your guile is hidden inside a magnificent gift that proves irresistible to your opponent. The walls open. Once inside, wreak havoc.”
We must learn to protect ourselves from those power-players who have no conscience, the power players who will use calculated acts of kindness or proffered gifts to earn our trust. Selective kindness can be the biggest part of the arsenal of deception. “Aimed for the heart, it corrodes the will to fight back.”
The 48 Laws of Power is available on Amazon.com.
EB, maybe the bear was a sign?
Chasing you away from the house.
Is there any meaning to this incident?
I don’t know, but the bear’s timing
is interesting. Just a coincidence?
Why did I just think of this?
I sound like a nut case.
SC,
You have a valid point there. You don’t sound like a nut case to me. LOLOL!
I need some advice.
EB, maybe you could help, since it is about a rental house and possible tenants.
I have the cabin in the woods which I lived in but is now in a total state of disrepair. I don’t have the money to fix it and when I go there I get depressed so I can’t even clean it up.
What I have done, half-heartedly, is look for people on Craigslist who offer to trade remodelling skills for rent. In 4 months, I’ve met with 3 really shady characters and passed.
Then last September, an old couple who call themselves “dream tenants” advertised that they wanted to find a place to fix up. They have a website, he is an engineer and she is an artist. They seemed great, but we could never arrange a time to meet and I forgot all about them. It did bother me that they asked for the home address and suggested I leave a key outside so they could go in…but I ignored the request.
Now they have contacted me again and asked the same. I told them my policy is to meet people before giving the address. His reply was “oh, yes, you can never be too careful, and better not put it in an email since you never know who is eavesdropping”
I thought WTF?
Then I was supposed to meet them later today to take them to the cabin. But he emailed me this morning:
skylar:
“If you are apprehensive regarding us or our level of care when caretaking a property, you may wish to check out the page on our web site. You will need a user name **** and ****is the password. The page illustrates the types of property we have either owned or leased and how we cared for each. We can also provide a list of long term personal references if you like but first we would like to meet you and see the property. With no interior photos, we don’t even know if we could make it work.
I am curious what has changed your mind. After viewing our web site, you commented that it would be an honor just to meet us and now it seems you are afraid to even give us an address so we could meet you there and take a look at the property. If you doubt our trustworthiness or sincerity to this extent, it probably makes no sense to continue. Let me know what you want to do.”
I replied:
“Please don’t misunderstand, I still think it will be an honor to meet you and your wife.
The way I do business is just standard policy. Nothing more.”
So the next reply to me says:
“Hi again:
Unfortunately the business we had planned for the afternoon has been moved up to forenoon. Perhaps we can arrange to meet another time.
Thank you for your interest,”
All of this seems like I drew a boundary and it made him mad. Previously, I had noticed that he would email me and expect a reply within a day or 2 but when I emailed him, he would take a week or more to reply to me.
Am I dealing with a narcissist who is testing my boundaries and N-supplyability?
How do I go about finding a renter who wants to live for free but will do remodeling work, without dredging through manipulitive losers?
Any comments are appreciated.
Sky – let them go. they are playing games, don’t care why, but they are.
THEY ARE CONTROLLING. Want to run the show and set all of the parameters. ummm, NO.
Anything you have to work this hard for is false.
I don’t know that their is an easy way to do what you are describing – truly, many of the folks who are attracted to this arrangement are going to be people who find it hard to keep a job in the first place.
there is a program within the public school board here where the students learn to build and repair, and take on projects. is there anything like that around? a group like rotary or civitans who might be able to help you find the help you need to fix it – where it would be on the up and up? Could habitat for humanity point you in the right direction?
ohhh, good ideas. thanks One, you are priceless.
Chic….no,not a nut case!!! 🙂
This year, I haven’t had ONE bear here…..I thought it was Holly keeping them away. Until this chunkalunk showed up…..and during heavy storms?!?! Go figure?
Oxy….Breath today…..and put away those damn cookies….. 🙂
It’s just so wrong that we have to harden up in regards to the kids……
I understand……you can’t keep banging that wall……but it’s a thought I just never pondered……creating distance with my kids!!!!!
I look forward to the time I can say…..He’s gone……he’s on his own and it’s all his problems….
As a parent, I envisioned……sending him joyfully off to college, trial and errors…….and off into a successful productive, helpful to others life…….it’s not looking this way at this point.
It’s sucky to realize, all the love and caring you poured into your child……is for not.
Good luck with the ‘visit’ today darlen!!! Your in my thoughts!
Dear Skylar,
I have been in this same position a couple of times, as well as having rental property, and I have had BAD experiences EVERY time I got into a “work for rent” situation….first off. If someone is allowed tomove in to your property and WORKS on it. How much is their work “worth” in $ and cents? AS MUCH AS THEY SAY IT IS. So they can say they are charging you $25 an hour and they keep the amount of hours that they work (you have no way of knowing how many hours they work or what their rates should be) so they do a crappy job on fixing something—you say It is no good—they say YOU OWE ME $3,000 for my work. So the thing is you can NEVER GET RID OF THEM even if they do no work or if they do crappy work. And they can have a MECHANIC’S LIEN LEVIED ON YOUR PROPERTY by simply filing one. This is so that if you hire someone to work on your vehicle or your house, and you don’t pay, they can actually CLAIM TITLE TO THE PROPERTY UNTIL YOU DO PAY.
I have done that on airplanes my husband worked on when the person wouldn’t pay the bill. It is a matter of a $25 filing fee and a MECHANIC’S LIEN for work is PAID FIRST even if the property or the car is sold and there is a mortgage on it.
So you are getting yourself in to a LOSE LOSE situation with letting someone move into your property to fix it up for rent, and if you had a person you could trust, might be one thing, but you dont’ even know these people and it sounds to me like their web site could be a con, if someone is wanting to move into a house in major disrepair to fix it up (which is hard work and some expenses for parts) I smell a rat there somewhere….
I think your chances of finding someone off the internet are about like internet dating! ZIP ZERO ZILCH NADA NOT A CHANCE
excellent thoughts Oxy,
I will be more careful, thank you.
My spidey sense which I acquired here on LF, has proven to be invaluable. I knew something was up, just wasn’t sure what.
Skylar:
I’d steer clear of this deal.
We know there are cons in every knook.
As I read your post, my former con tenent came to mind…..he’d SOOOOOO do something like this.
I don’t know how much you care about this property and I don’t know the tenent/landlord laws in your state……but this is a chance i’d not take.
Remember the preface…..nothing comes for free.
Even in todays world….with the economy so tough for most…..i don’t think even now with so many losing homes….that you’d find that right couple willing to treasure a home for exchange of fix up.
Tenents have entitlement issues….this is my home, look what I did…..FOR YOU. You never paid for xx or yy, we did this because we loved the home.
People don’t love a home they don’t own.
If you in a position to just sit on it……and let it go for however many years you need to……maybe one day you’ll be in a postition to move back there and lovingly fix it up.
Another point to remember, is……..when you ‘rent’ to someone with no assets or money……when they cause you harm…..there is very little recourse. Do you want/need that frustration?
I think Ones options are great options for you to explore…..
Stay off the craigslist cesspool…….it’s a haven for cons.
Anyone who describes themselves as the perfect tenents….(and let me tell you….they ALL do!) is like a wealthy person telling you how rich they are.
If they are, they are……but why convince.
These peeps in particular sound like cons…..trying to hook you, using time inbetween…….and if you come back……they’ve ‘hooked’ you…..it’s all a bait.
RUN!
yep, EB, I felt it, real people don’t pump themselves up so much. I really need to do something with it because I do owe property taxes on it and I’m not making enough to cover that.
Will be very careful from now on. God just seems to cover my ass all the time, I have sidestepped several losers already. These were the most conniving though.