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Explaining the sociopath

You are here: Home / Archives for Explaining the sociopath

The flaw in viewing sociopaths through normal eyes

February 2, 2009 //  by Donna Andersen//  469 Comments

Lovefraud recently received an e-mail from a young man, we'll call him Kyle, who has just broken up with a woman whom he now believes is a sociopath. Based on the behavior he described, I'd say the guy is right. The woman cheated on him, and when confronted, either downplayed her behavior, said it was none of his business, or verbally attacked him. She had no interest in resolving problems. "Her solution to everything was to run, wait awhile, and then pile on affection as if nothing ever happened," Kyle wrote. Kyle has been researching sociopathy to try to grasp what is really going on with this woman. Here's more of his e-mail, which I have reproduced with his permission: First of all, I …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Female sociopaths

Sociopaths, words and sharing

January 30, 2009 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  102 Comments

Old time psychoanalysts connect a young child's desire to share experiences with caregivers to the development of a healthy personality. The idea that any pleasure is better if we share it starts shortly after the first birthday. That is also the time language starts to develop. Words then become a way to share experiences. Healthy people use words to share their feelings, interests and desires. A little child who has just learned to walk will bring her toy over to dad to share it. She is delighted when he makes some comment about it. We take for granted that everyone has this desire to share and take mutual delight. As I write this I am sharing with you truths I have found deeply …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Can I Have A Witness?

January 29, 2009 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  352 Comments

For purposes of simplicity I will be using “he” throughout this post to designate the abuser and “she” to designate the abuse victim. We can all agree that males are also abused in relationships by females. One of the insidious (and enabling) aspects of abuse is that the abuse victim often lacks a credible witness to the abuse that is occurring (or has occurred). “Witnessing” is the act of validating, of believing, the victim's presentation of her trauma. It is the willingness to face, not turn away from, the victim's experience of her experience. The abuse victim often lacks a mature, credible witness to validate the abuse as existing as a real problem—a real problem that is called “abus …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Realities only family members know

January 23, 2009 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  237 Comments

Research into sociopathy/psychopathy has made a great deal of progress over the last 30 years. Even so, there is much that research does not address. For example, sociopaths are described as callous, lacking in empathy and without remorse for their hurtful actions. These sterile descriptors always fall short of really conveying the evil of the disordered. A good 6 months before the Madoff story broke, I began a project to connect with the family members of professional con artists. The purpose of this project is to document the within family behavior of con artists and to link that “profession” to psychopathic personality traits. I have had good success connecting with family members and th …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, For children of sociopaths, For parents of sociopaths, Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Over use of the term psychopath/sociopath?

January 17, 2009 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  95 Comments

With the release of the Mask of Sanity in the 1940s Dr. Hervey Cleckley began the quest to describe a syndrome called psychopathy, in which affected individuals prey on others without remorse. Since people affected by the syndrome are socially disordered the syndrome has also been called sociopathy. Dr. Robert Hare extended the work of Cleckley and carefully documented the symptoms of the disorder. All this research has lead to two basic conclusions: 1. It is quite remarkable that individuals who choose a lifestyle of remorseless predation of other people are so similar in their behaviors and personality traits. 2. Equally important is the idea that non-disordered people do not “regularly” …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Evaluating An Unknown Provider’s Expertise in Sociopathy

January 15, 2009 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  277 Comments

I write this column (using "he" throughout, for simplicity purposes) to suggest some useful ideas for vetting a prospective provider who does not come recommended through a reliable source (or through Donna Anderson's growing new LoveFraud referral base). How can you begin to assess a relatively unknown provider for his competence to address your experiences with a suspected sociopath specifically, exploiter in general, or otherwise personality-disturbed individual? Let me start by suggesting that a provider who claims to be educated about sociopathy really isn't if he lacks an equally fluent understanding of narcissistic and borderline personality disorder. The reason I say this is …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

When it comes to sociopaths, education is the key

January 12, 2009 //  by Donna Andersen//  19 Comments

Lovefraud spent the weekend at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference in Albany, New York. Quite frankly, it was depressing. This was a conference of worst-case scenarios. I spoke to a woman whose story sounded like the Clark Rockefeller case, only worse. Her ex-husband was an illegal alien from Germany. He was also a doctor who had a hard time getting licensed because of "missing documents," but eventually did get licensed. Once he got his American residency and license, he dumped the woman and got their 5-year-old daughter in an emergency custody hearing—the woman believes he paid off the judge. The woman knows her daughter is being sexually abused—she screams when anyone touches her. B …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

A Sociopathic Interaction

December 31, 2008 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  97 Comments

  I thought I'd depart from a more standard post and offer below some verbatim interactions I recently had with a client whom I've always suspected as having sociopathic tendencies. I share these interactions (with comments) not for their excitement, because their subject matter is in fact extremely mundane; but rather for the sociopathic elements I believe they instructively contain. My client, T, is a 35 year old male, with a “work history” of voyeuristic, sexually aggressive behavior towards females. My role with him is as a “consulting therapist” for a community agency. T is not psychotic, and has no reality testing impairment. He is a verbally quick, superficially engagin …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Radar not for the sociopath, but for the wrong people

December 18, 2008 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  328 Comments

Most of the people who will be bad for us are not sociopaths, and so we want our radar to be sharp, not specifically for sociopaths, but for wrong, bad people of every stripe. True, sociopaths will be terrible people with whom to enter relationships; in the end, though, they will represent a small fraction of a much greater majority of very wrong people for us. As I suggested in a prior post, there are two keys to protecting ourselves from Mr. or Mrs. WRONG: The first is developing intelligent radar; the second is acting wisely on that radar. After all, good radar, no less than good CIA intelligence, is useless if it's ignored or devalued. Now, are there cases of sociopaths (and the lot …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Risk Assessment for Violence, Playing the Odds

December 6, 2008 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  177 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I recently bought a book, Violence Risk and Threat Assessment: A Practical Guide for Mental Health and Criminal Justice Professionals, by J. Reid Meloy, Ph.D. I actually bought it to give some “credence” to the statistics I put into my letter to the parole board protesting the release on parole of the Trojan Horse-Psychopath that attacked our family, Of course this book is directed, as the title says, to professionals, and to assess risk of violence. But since we are dealing with psychopaths, it is, I think, a good idea for us to be able also to look at the assessment for possible violence in our own psychopaths when we thwart their desires, or kick the …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

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