In response to last week's entry, Sociopathy and the fearless child one of our readers (Bobby) wrote of his brother, "He was often punished - usually by being sent to bed without his meal - but he would repeat the same behavior as if nothing had happened." This statement illustrates why the usual parenting does not work with children at risk to develop into sociopaths. They do not respond to punishment! Parents of sociopaths are often blamed Tragically, the parents of sociopaths are often blamed for the presence of this condition in their offspring. The belief of many is, He wouldn't be a sociopath if his parents had taught him right from wrong. The belief that "discipline" will cure …
Sociopaths get out of jail–or try to
“True Lovefraud Stories” on Lovefraud.com is a collection of case studies about people who lied their way into the lives of others, leaving a wake of destruction. Some committed fraud. Some committed bigamy. Some committed murder. Five of the perpetrators in the True Lovefraud Stories received jail terms for their actions. Of the five, three are out of prison and two, claiming innocence, are appealing their convictions. Ed Hicks Ed Hicks was convicted of bigamy in Virginia on March 6, 2006. He was sentenced to a year in prison. With credit for the time already served, he was expected to remain incarcerated until the end of 2006. Due to his good behavior in prison, he was released on …
Sociopathy and the fearless child
Many have expressed doubt that a condition as complex as sociopathy can be genetic. The doubters aside, studies of identical twins separated at birth and raised by non-relatives do clearly show the condition is genetic. The question now is, “Just what is inherited?” Genes interact with environment Although sociopathy is genetic, it is not inherited in the same way as many other traits, for example, eye color. The genes that cause sociopathy do so by making a child vulnerable to certain environmental influences. A child can have the genes but if he is not exposed to the triggering environment, he will not develop the condition. Fearlessness an important precursor to both sociopathy an …
Sociopaths drag their families into the con
Sociopaths will manipulate anyone. Let me repeat that. Sociopaths will manipulate absolutely anyone, including mom, dad, brothers, sisters—anyone. One way that this happens is the sociopath gets his or her family—knowingly or not—to participate in the victimization of the target. Lovefraud received an e-mail from Rod in Nebraska. Rod's daughter had been targeted by a sociopath. In his e-mail, he wrote the following: One thing that I do believe should be approached about a sociopath is his ability not only to control his victim, but also his family. The sociopath works his family to the extent that he manipulates his immediate family into believing that none of his problems in life are his …
Sexually violent predators
One of Lovefraud's prime messages is that most sociopaths (or psychopaths) do not live up to their media hype. Most sociopaths are not sadistic, sexually violent serial killers. However, the hype is founded on truth, and there are some sociopaths who fit the descriptions you see in TV crime shows. These predators are the ones people think of when they hear the term “psychopath,” and they are truly scary. (I'll call them psychopaths for the rest of this post.) Sex crimes and sexual offenders get a lot of attention in the United States these days. This is certainly justified—there is no excuse for sexual violence. Some sex offenders are psychopaths, but not all of them. Child molesters, f …
Psychopaths on the loose
Much of the research about psychopaths had been conducted among prison populations. It's probably necessary to find a "captive" audience for this research—psychopaths (or sociopaths, but I'll call them psychopaths in this post) wouldn't come in for testing and treatment voluntarily, because they don't believe there is anything wrong with them. Dr. Robert Hare estimates that psychopaths (the term he uses) make up 1 percent of the general population of North America, but almost 25 percent of the prison population. Let's turn these figures around. Sometime in October the population of the United States will reach 300 million people. If 1 percent of all these people are psychopaths, that means …
Pop psychology doesn’t work with sociopaths
I remember the first time I had proof that my ex-husband, James Montgomery, was cheating on me. Montgomery had talked me into giving him a credit card to use. He charged things on the card, and I paid the bills (a good deal for him). One time the bill came and it listed a charge for the Berlin Motor Lodge. This is not Berlin, Germany. There's a small town called Berlin not far from where I live in New Jersey. It isn't much more than a blip on the highway. Now, my ex was always away on "business." But there was no possible business reason for him to stay at this budget motel that was only about 40 minutes away. The only realistic explanation was that he was there with another woman. …
Survey: psychopath, sociopath or antisocial?
A few weeks ago I posted a blog article entitled Confusion about sociopaths, psychopaths, and antisocials. The article provided background on the evolution of the terms used to describe people who have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. It also acknowledged that Lovefraud uses the definition of this disorder based on the work of Dr. Robert Hare, who uses the term "psychopath." However, I refer to these people as "sociopaths." My reason is that the term "psychopath" carries a lot of cultural baggage. Thanks to movies and media hype, it seems that people tend to associate "psychopath" with deranged individuals or serial killers. I've had many victims tell me, "I though a psychopath was …
Red flags–if you see them, run
Last week Lovefraud posted an article that described one woman's experience of romantic manipulation by a sociopath. Another reader responded with advice. This woman had been married to a narcissist, which in many ways is similar to a sociopath. Once she divorced him and started dating again, she relied on a list of red flags. "If I saw even ONE flag, the guy was OUT of my life, period," she says. Here is her list. Red flags 1) Needing to be around you as much as possible and knowing where you are at all times. 2) Refusing to have any meaningful social life, even with his own family. 3) Telling you what to wear and advising what is "appropriate clothing" for you. 4) …
One woman’s experience of romantic manipulation
A reader recently contacted Lovefraud about her experience with a sociopath. Although she does not want to be identified—she still fears the man—she is willing to share what she learned. Following is her e-mail. I am 41, newly divorced after a long marriage and new to dating. While my two-year separation was a healing period in my life, I was not prepared for the emotions and loneliness that followed the divorce being final. I met a man who is a stone-cold predator and struggled between what my gut knew to be lies and ongoing romantic manipulation and wanting to believe that I was wanted and adored by this new person in my life. I don't see myself as the village idiot . . . I am a suc …