Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Samantha22.” Her husband said, “their love was destined in the stars.” Much later, she realized that what she felt wasn’t love, it was a trauma bond. I was caught in his gaze when I was out one evening watching his band play a local pub. He didn’t take his eyes off of me, and my boyfriend at the time wanted to leave. A few months later, I was single and I saw he was playing again, and I planned to go with a girlfriend. She bailed right before, so I went on my own. A promoter was chatting with me about music, and saw him and offered to introduce me. I first declined, saying that’s okay, but he’s insisting, s …
He wanted to psychologically destroy me
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Louann22. She was involved with a lying, cheating man who she now says, “wanted to psychologically destroy me.” He faked being in love with me for a year. I found out so many things were lies. I eventually realised he was filming me through a camera that was attached to his phone. He would plant things in his room to watch my reaction, such as dirty underwear from other women. He faked a future with me. I ended up selling my house and moving across the country, all the while he knew he was not genuine. I'm fairly certain he doesn't actually have a job, but was using myself and other women to make pornogr …
Dealing with dying Cluster B parents
Editor’s note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader, “Matt,” a long-time member of the Lovefraud community. By Matt It has been many years since I last posted on Lovefraud. When I first joined Lovefraud in November 2008, I was among the walking wounded having just pried my sociopath boyfriend out of my life. This site was my godsend. Among the many topics covered, although it wasn’t on my radar at the time, was dealing with Cluster B parents as they came to the end of their lives. Having buried both of my parents within the last 5 years, I’d like to share my experiences dealing with such parents. My parents My parents were two martinets who treated their children as …
The sociopath ‘ruined me,’ Lovefraud reader writes
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Sassy22.” She says sociopathic ex-partner “ruined me.” I answered the door and a good-looking guy was standing there asking if Sean was ready? I was confused cuz I lived alone with my son, not named Sean. This guy, dressed in construction work clothes was very apologetic, and said he must have got the address wrong. That he was carpooling with a new coworker and was sorry to have bothered me. As he left, he turned around and ask if he could make it up to me by taking me out for a drink later? I politely denied, and closed the door. The next few weeks I started seeing this guy all the time. He drove down …
The sociopath who documented his abuse
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Laurie22.” She wrote about marrying a sociopath who documented his abuse. Names are changed. I met Eddie during the pandemic. We had the most romantic socially distanced first date. As a cancer patient and survivor and single parent, I thought I hit my jackpot. I had waited so long and he wasn’t the typical guy I dated. Icy blue eyes. Short. Balding. But I thought that love meant that you looked inward. And I fell in love with him deeply. We got married December 31, 2020 at a celebrity mansion. Within 72 hours of our marriage, we had an affidavit from his ex-wife (divorced 2 years) claiming abuse. He promi …
Sociopath pretended to be the perfect father and husband
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Shipra22. She wrote that her ex-husband pretended to be the perfect father and husband. I met him at 17 on the first day in college. A former classmate of his was interested in me and he pretended to help him out and targeted me himself. He was violent and had had a history of being involved in. violence or some sort or the other. He told me strange stories of life (his real escapades) as if they were his friends who were doing them. He was constantly testing to see how much he could dupe me. We dated 10 years and were married 17. Parallel life He was bisexual and pretended to be homophobic so that …
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Learning my husband is a sociopath after 18 years of marriage
Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we’ll call Marilyn22, sent the following story about learning her husband is a sociopath. Names are changed. My ex husband stalked me while in high school from age 14 to 17. Whenever I saw him coming I would hide from him because he always wanted to talk to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was not attracted to him because he was always walking with other boys who seemed like troublemakers and they were loud. Finally, when I was 17, I saw him and was by himself and seemed quiet. He called out to me and I went to talk with him. I enquired about his quiet and polite demeanor and he said that he was now a Christian. I was delighted to hear that bec …
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The man of my dreams led a double life of cheating, drugs and porn
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Carmen22” about her experience with a senior sociopath and his double life of cheating, drugs and porn. Names are changed. I don't know where to start. I lost my husband to a freak accident 18 years ago. We had very young children at the time. I suffered because of blaming myself for his death, which is a whole other story. I got into bad relationships with men and turned to alcohol. I, from time to time turned to alcohol to ease my pain but it became a problem. I had to work so hard on myself to get sober. Between my faith in God, my church and the support of AA, I managed to overcome it. I made the …
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Asperger’s syndrome protected me from my sociopath ex-fiancé
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader in the Middle East, whom we’ll call Neoxes. English is not his first language, so his story has been edited for clarity. Neoxes has Asperger’s syndrome, which he believes helps him to identify sociopathic predators. He says Asperger's syndrome protected him from a marriage to a sociopath. I'm 41 years old and I have Asperger Syndrome! I can say I’m successful in my life and job. I think this syndrome is a gift for me. Four years ago, when I was 37, I met a 27-year-old girl. My goal was marriage and to have a family so it was important for me that I can be married to a girl of the same or near to my status. On the fir …
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Recover from the sociopath by acknowledging the pain
UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's note: Lovefraud previously published a letter from a reader whom we called "Bessy." It was entitled, "The only hope I have is that Karma exists." This is a follow-up letter from Bessy — she's not feeling any better. In my response, I suggest that she acknowledge the pain. My ex has not contacted me in 9 months and I know I should feel lucky, but I feel even more inadequate and unlovable than he made me feel back then. Why do I hear of boomerangs and "they always come back" stories and my phone is silent. Was "I" that bad??? I was vulnerable I think I was attracted and vulnerable in the first place because I was at a crossroads, facing losing my mother, a …
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