Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Shipra22. She wrote that her ex-husband pretended to be the perfect father and husband. I met him at 17 on the first day in college. A former classmate of his was interested in me and he pretended to help him out and targeted me himself. He was violent and had had a history of being involved in. violence or some sort or the other. He told me strange stories of life (his real escapades) as if they were his friends who were doing them. He was constantly testing to see how much he could dupe me. We dated 10 years and were married 17. Parallel life He was bisexual and pretended to be homophobic so that …

Sociopath pretended to be the perfect father and husbandRead More

Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we’ll call Marilyn22, sent the following story about learning her husband is a sociopath. Names are changed. My ex husband stalked me while in high school from age 14 to 17. Whenever I saw him coming I would hide from him because he always wanted to talk to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was not attracted to him because he was always walking with other boys who seemed like troublemakers and they were loud. Finally, when I was 17, I saw him and was by himself and seemed quiet. He called out to me and I went to talk with him. I enquired about his quiet and polite demeanor and he said that he was now a Christian. I was delighted to hear that bec …

Learning my husband is a sociopath after 18 years of marriageRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Carmen22” about her experience with a senior sociopath and his double life of cheating, drugs and porn. Names are changed. I don't know where to start. I lost my husband to a freak accident 18 years ago. We had very young children at the time. I suffered because of blaming myself for his death, which is a whole other story. I got into bad relationships with men and turned to alcohol. I, from time to time turned to alcohol to ease my pain but it became a problem. I had to work so hard on myself to get sober. Between my faith in God, my church and the support of AA, I managed to overcome it. I made the …

The man of my dreams led a double life of cheating, drugs and pornRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader in the Middle East, whom we’ll call Neoxes. English is not his first language, so his story has been edited for clarity. Neoxes has Asperger’s syndrome, which he believes helps him to identify sociopathic predators. He says Asperger's syndrome protected him from a marriage to a sociopath. I'm 41 years old and I have Asperger Syndrome! I can say I’m successful in my life and job. I think this syndrome is a gift for me. Four years ago, when I was 37, I met a 27-year-old girl. My goal was marriage and to have a family so it was important for me that I can be married to a girl of the same or near to my status. On the fir …

Asperger’s syndrome protected me from my sociopath ex-fiancéRead More

UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's note: Lovefraud previously published a letter from a reader whom we called "Bessy." It was entitled, "The only hope I have is that Karma exists." This is a follow-up letter from Bessy — she's not feeling any better. In my response, I suggest that she acknowledge the pain. My ex has not contacted me in 9 months and I know I should feel lucky, but I feel even more inadequate and unlovable than he made me feel back then. Why do I hear of boomerangs and "they always come back" stories and my phone is silent. Was "I" that bad??? I was vulnerable I think I was attracted and vulnerable in the first place because I was at a crossroads, facing losing my mother, a …

Recover from the sociopath by acknowledging the painRead More

UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader. whom we'll call "Camille," who asks, why did I let my abusive ex back? When I was 16, I began a relationship with a guy that was 20. I met him through a mutual friend. We began a relationship that was volatile and tumultuous. I was a senior in high school. I would get out of school midday on a work program, but instead of going to work, I would go to his house. He would force me to have sex with him, steal from me, and physically abuse me. He would call me and apologize and I do not know why, but I would always go back. One day he called me and told me that he wanted to take me to eat at one of his friend's …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, after 20 years, did I let my abusive ex back into my life?Read More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Kurt21 about his father’s new wife. Therapists concluded that the woman was a pathological narcissist. My father is on his third wife “P.” I was opposed to their marriage due to the previous disastrous and expensive divorces. Just prior to their marriage Dad revealed to me the nature of his financial arrangements with P, and those arrangements mimic the community-property constraints that are setting him up for yet another expensive separation (should that occur). Why would he do that, and why would P (herself a two-time divorcee) accept such an arrangement? P is a licensed psychotherapist. Shortly af …

My father married a psychotherapist and pathological narcissistRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received this letter from a reader whom we’ll call Trish21. She fell in love with a man who exploited her. Her frustration is that he will never get held accountable. I met my ex online dating. I was going through a very low point in my life I had experienced a loss that was very traumatic that had sent me in the self-destructive downward spiral. I was very vulnerable, more so than I had ever been in my entire life, and happen to meet this person online dating. I was just looking for hook up as well as that person. After that night that we hooked up, which was to be like a one time thing in my mind, he contacted me and we continue to talk and ended up seeing eac …

A Lovefraud reader laments: Sociopaths never get held accountableRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Sherry21. She lived with a man who terrified her, and then, through a hacker, discovered that he lived a double life. I was punished for food, he threatened to take my animal to animal control, he would take car keys away and spit in my face and verbal assault me on a daily bases, gaslighting me to the point I was thinking I was wrong, stolen my money, he would sleep in the pasture with bulls as we live in 865 acres on a working cattle farm. I lived like a mute. I couldn’t have an opinion nor could walk correctly, breathe the air without being at fault on everything. He would wake me up by shot guns. He …

I lived in pure terror — then I discovered his double lifeRead More