Recovery from a sociopath Archives | Page 42 of 92 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

Divorcing A Sociopath: Finding Strength, Acceptance, and Healing

August 21, 2013 // by Quinn Pierce// 114 Comments

by Quinn Pierce Today, after a trip to the psychologist with my children, I watched my ex-husband run to open the door for a very pregnant woman who looked extremely tired in the day's intense heat. She immediately broke out into a grateful smile, her whole body relaxed, and I could see the combination of the cool air conditioning and the sweet gesture of this gentleman turned her whole day around. But for me, it was like watching a car accident in slow motion. I was all at once sick and mesmerized by what I saw. I know it doesn't sound like much of an incident to cause such a reaction, but it was so typical, and predictable, and”¦calculated. And that's when I realized why it …

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Dating again after the sociopath

August 19, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 80 Comments

Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as "Saskgirl:" I must say that your website is a lifesaver. It has helped me recover from a devastating relationship with a sociopath. It is amazing how many stories I read on your site and can totally identify with them. The people could be talking about the piece of garbage I was tangled up with. I have been single for about a year and a half and have spent a lot of that time healing and working on me. I am ready to start dating (I think) but I'm afraid that it will be disastrous for me. I was so emotionally wrecked that I'm terrified of being there again. I don't trust anyone and believe that just about every thing …

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The Sociopath, Divorce and Small Steps to Recovery

August 14, 2013 // by Quinn Pierce// 14 Comments

By Quinn Pierce I have always been the type of writer who prefers notebooks and pencils to computer screens and keyboards. As someone who writes daily, I have quite a collection of notebooks, and my pencils can be found in every room of the house. Sometimes, I go through old notebooks in an attempt to recycle unused pages, and inadvertently, I end up recycling old memories, as well. Revisiting the Past Often, it's the emotional equivalent of cleaning out my closet. It's an opportunity to see how far I've come in the aftermath of my marriage and divorce, and it gives me a chance to let go of some misconceptions about myself and my ex-husband that I have since outgrown. But, once in a …

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Sociopaths change how we look at the world

August 12, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 33 Comments

Most of us grow up believing that all people are created equal, that human beings are basically good, and everybody wants to be loved. These are the messages we learn in school, in church, and in the age of political correctness, from the media. These beliefs are the lenses through which we view the world and the people in it. Our beliefs influence how we perceive and understand the behavior of those we meet. And, for about 90 percent of the population, the beliefs work just fine. Bad treatment Then we realize that someone in our life isn't treating us well. We may think this person is reacting to our behavior, that we're doing something to provoke anger or elicit criticism after …

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The sociopath, dogs and manipulation

July 31, 2013 // by Quinn Pierce// 39 Comments

Editor's note: The following another essay by the Lovefraud reader Quinn Pierce, who writes under a pseudonym. By Quinn Pierce The first thing I did when my husband and I moved into our first home together was adopt a puppy. I had grown up with many pets, and I can't remember a time when I didn't have a dog. I always felt dogs made a home more complete. So, I was thrilled when Ellie, a Border Collie, Golden Retriever mix arrived at my door step, literally. At the time, I was working as a veterinary technician. I had graduated from college in May, gotten married the following fall, and decided to explore my childhood dream of becoming a veterinarian. One morning, when I arrived at the …

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Leaving the sociopath, applying for food stamps

July 23, 2013 // by Quinn Pierce// 15 Comments

Editor's note: The following essay is by a Lovefraud reader who writes under a pseudonym. By Quinn Pierce This isn't exactly the interview I had prepared for. As a matter of fact, this wasn't an interview I even knew how to prepare for. All I knew was that somewhere along the way, my life had taken a detour without any warning. Looking back, it's almost embarrassing how many warning signs there actually were, but in context, they were seemingly harmless acts that built up over time to construct the house of cards my life had become. But I didn't want to think about that at the moment, all I wanted was to get this over with, and go home. The waiting room was the perfect compliment to …

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Letter to Lovefraud: Who will be my hero?

July 20, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 6 Comments

Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader "Winifred." He was her hero. I am his hero. Who will be my hero? I attended my first meeting last week for Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA). I am an adult child of an alcoholic mother, but not an alcoholic myself ”¦ thank God! I am telling you this because one of the main characteristics of an ACOA is the compelling feeling we have to always pick relationships where someone needs us to rescue them! When my husband and I got together in 2004, I asked him why he married a sociopath (his ex-wife) and he stated that, "She needed a knight in shining armor, and needed to be rescued." It has been nine years, and I fin …

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Finding a way out of the darkness through EMDR therapy

July 17, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 7 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Laura19." My Experience with PTSD Excruciating emotional pain. Numbness. Loss of appetite. Sleepless nights. Obsessive thoughts. Inability to concentrate. Loss of pleasure in cherished activities. Lack of energy. Anxiety and panic attacks. All of the above will probably sound familiar to those of us who have been devalued and discarded by psychopaths. When I discovered that the “relationship” I had with the psychopath was not real, that I had been deceived, betrayed, and used, I felt as if my entire world was turned upside down. I did not want to eat, I developed insomnia, and I was consumed by thoughts of …

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Using what you’ve learned to choose a better path

July 14, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 5 Comments

By Olga Rodriguez I've read so many times on Lovefraud stories of individuals who have started dating again only to find they are seeing the same characteristics in their new dating partner as they saw in the sociopath. I found myself in the same place recently. But this is when one's previous experience comes in place; this is when we have a choice. We find ourselves at a crossroad and our decision will determine our outcome. We must chose wisely! Do not invite yourself to a pity party: Oh poor me! Why does this happen to me? Instead ”¦ search deep ”¦ deep inside your soul and you will find the answers! This is it The pivotal moment The moment when you realize that the road is familiar …

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Pain as motivation for freeing yourself from sociopaths

July 12, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

On Monday, I posted an article entitled, Healing your addiction to sociopaths. In it, I offered three steps for changing a pattern of falling in love with sociopaths. The steps are: No Contact with the current sociopath Do not date anyone for the time being Heal the vulnerabilities The real work is in the third step healing your vulnerabilities. What I suggest sounds somewhat like the good advice that we get on many topics, like: Eat your vegetables Make time for regular exercise Cut down on sugar, carbs and alcohol Get enough sleep We all know we should do all these things, but do we do them? How often do we skip going to the gym, or pour ourselves another …

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eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Happy Sunday Donna, and I am not surprised based on the story of your ex that he may have been…”
Donna Andersen on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Hi Joanie — thanks for this article! My ex was a complete pack rat. I converted my basement into an…”
Donna Andersen on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “Emilie 18 posted the following comment in the Forum. Eleanor Cowen posted a beautifully said piece in the Blog about…”