Our society rarely talks about evil. There’s little discussion of morality, and even less of its opposite — wickedness. As a result, we don’t know that evil sociopaths exist, so we don’t know to protect ourselves from them. I can’t tell you how many times people told me, while relating their awful stories of being deceived and betrayed, “I didn’t know people like this existed.” They do. So why is there no discussion? Why don’t we know about evil sociopaths? I can think of two reasons, one related to cultural change, and the other to confusion about terminology. Cultural change When I first started my career in the early 1980s, the term “politically correct” came into vogue. The …
Discernment of sociopaths as preventive naturopathic medicine
By Dr. Laura Rubiales Today I want to talk to you about a concept most people don’t want to breach. Evil exists. Most health coaches and naturopathic doctors talk about healthy lifestyle choices to create health. I am here to educate you on a major one to prevent major health issues: Discerning and setting boundaries with sociopaths… In her book, The Sociopath Next Door by Harvard trained psychologist Dr. Martha Stout, she discusses the Law of 3’s: If you catch a person in three lies, don’t trust them with your heart or your money. The premise of it is that if they are caught in three lies, odds are they have no conscience and are likely a sociopa …
Discernment of sociopaths as preventive naturopathic medicineRead More
3 reasons why you encounter a sociopath later in life
Perhaps you’re in your 40s, 50s or 60s — and you have just come to the shocking realization that you have a sociopath in your life. Maybe even multiple sociopaths. So you wonder — why did you encounter a sociopath later in life? I have three answers for this question. One is about awareness, another is about life stages and the last is about healing purpose. Awareness of sociopaths I am willing to bet that sociopaths were always in your life — you just didn’t know it. By sociopaths, I mean people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorder. (The original definition of “sociopath” was “anything deviated or …
3 reasons why you encounter a sociopath later in lifeRead More
Intuition and the purpose of the sociopath
When I realized that the man I married was a sociopath, and our entire marriage was a scam, I was shocked. I didn’t deserve it. I was a good and honest person. Why did this happen to me? Today I’m going to propose that there may be an unexpected answer to the question. I’m going to talk about intuition and the purpose of the sociopath. Here’s my proposition, which you may find surprising at first, but stick with me: Our awful entanglements with sociopaths often have a larger purpose, and that’s our personal spiritual growth. This is an extremely difficult concept, especially when we believe in a benevolent God, universe, or higher power—whatever term you want to use—who only wants the b …
We’re divorced, have no kids — so why is my ex driving slowly by my house?
There is no such thing as an amicable divorce with a sociopath. They try to ruin you financially. They smear you to everyone who knows you. This is what a Lovefraud reader experienced. So she sent me an email and asked, “Why is my ex driving slowly by my house?” Here’s the full email, from the reader whom we’ll call Cecilia25: I had emailed you about a year and a half ago. I explained to you that my husband had a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde personality. He would disappear for hours sometimes days and would not answer calls or texts. He gave me the silent treatment and was a pathological liar. He had beaten down my self esteem. You told me that was typical sociopathic behavior. You told me …
We’re divorced, have no kids — so why is my ex driving slowly by my house?Read More
Looking for a date, I found a sociopath and a spiritual path
Back in the summer of 1996, when I logged onto the America Online Love section, I had no idea that it would be the beginning of a journey that would change my life. I was looking for a date. I found a sociopath — and also a spiritual path. I was single, had never been married and was about to turn 40 — yes, I heard that biological clock ticking very loudly. I ran my own copywriting business and finally, after 13 years of struggle, I was making good money. Maybe, I hoped, it was finally time for me to be happy. I’d previously tried personal ads, back when we actually placed classified ads in newspapers or magazines and responded by sending physical letters through the mail. …
Looking for a date, I found a sociopath and a spiritual pathRead More
Suddenly he says his mom died — a sociopathic seduction strategy
You’re chatting or texting with your new romantic partner. You make plans to get together, and suddenly he says his mom died and he has to break the plans. You react to the tragedy with shock and sympathy. Of course, you understand, and you’ll be there when he needs you. But what if it’s not true? What if when he says his mom died, he was lying? This happened to a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call Charlene22. Her story is below. Names are changed. Lovefraud reader's story I met Rick on Tinder in early January. We sent only a few messages back and forth before he asked for my snapchat so we could communicate there instead. We continued to talk every day for about a week, and had plan …
Suddenly he says his mom died — a sociopathic seduction strategyRead More
Yes, there can be love after the sociopath
Relationships with sociopaths are devastating. At one time we thought we’d found the person we’d been waiting for all our lives. Then we were unceremoniously discarded. Eventually we learned that the whole relationship was a lie. We feel like we are emotionally ruined forever. But I’m here to tell you that there can be love after the sociopath. I know, because I lived it. My first book, Love Fraud, is the story of my marriage to a con artist. I describe in detail how he seduced me, then exploited me. But the book is more than that — it is also the story of my recovery. In fact, the sociopath’s betrayal shattered my emotional defenses, which had the effect of enabling me to truly open my …
Meditation on a devastating experience with a sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Barbara19. Are you ready for the rain? I recently went through a gut wrenching experience. I have not moved completely through the storm, however I am learning to dance in the rain. Before, I would hide in a cave to escape the feeling of wet clothes and dripping hair on my skin. If I couldn’t find a cave, I would pull out my umbrella, which was as large as a carnival top – yes, the red and white stripped one with the red center flag – I was so used to my umbrella I forgot it was there, just like the white elephant who sat in my living room for 14 years. Who wouldn’t want a cute elephant as a conti …
Meditation on a devastating experience with a sociopathRead More