How decluttering helps you recover from toxic relationships

Editor’s note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains how decluttering helps you recover from toxic relationships. Read more about Liberty.

By Liberty Forrest, PDHom

Everything is energy. Nope, that’s not “woowoo” — it’s science.

And it means that every single item in your environment is holding energy. Whether or not it’s positive or negative depends on the meaning that you’ve assigned to it.

For example, if you’re holding onto anything that is connected with a painful memory or someone who has adversely impacted your life, that energy is pulling down the “chi” (energy) in your home. Same with anything that’s stashed away in cupboards, the attic, or the garage. When anything sits too long and is hidden away and not used, it creates stagnant energy in your home, in your life and in yourself, even if you aren’t particularly aware of it.

Some of us feel it more than others. For example, being a psychic and medium I am extremely sensitive to the energy in my environment and a lot of “dead energy” that comes with unused or unwanted items — or items that remind me of painful experiences — can really weigh me down and make me feel unwell.

This is why it feels so good to have a clear-out. And it’s especially essential to rid your environment of any items that are connected to a toxic relationship. They’re loaded with negative energy that can adversely impact your health on all levels.

Spontaneous decluttering

I know — it’s not usually one of those jobs that you’d plan and then look forward to doing. I don’t think many people would say, “Yay! I can’t wait to clean my closet on Thursday!” 

In my experience, it’s one of those jobs you can only love when it happens spontaneously. You know, like you just went in there for one thing. Maybe you didn’t find it right away, so you started moving things around a bit…hmm, where the heck did you put that thing anyway…and you’re digging through the piles of stuff on the shelves or in boxes or baskets on the floor.

Suddenly, there are you, raking out the closet, clothes are flying everywhere and landing in a pile to give away, or a pile that needs mending or washing. And then there’s the stuff to try on because you’re a different size now, one way or the other, or you wanna be, or fear you’re gonna be, so what do you bring out next? Your piles of fat clothes or skinny clothes or your in-between clothes? — because you’re in the midst of moving up or down the scale.

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And then there’s all the other stuff that’s in there. You know, those things you frown at, stare at, carry around the house for a while, hunting for places for them to live, muttering, “What the heck am I supposed to do with this?” before discovering that you’ve still not got an answer for that, and you put back it in the closet — “for now.”

Perhaps this will be the time you find homes for some of it and if you do, you’re ever so pleased with yourself. But in the meantime, there you are, hurling things into piles, running for the bin bags, hauling stuff out to the rubbish, or bagging it up for the charity shop.

And oh, it feels so great to get rid of all those unwanted items. The more you turf, the better you feel because you’re shifting stagnant, stale energy, eliminating toxic energy, and leaving only items that you absolutely need or that make you feel good. 

In the decluttering zone

Okay, so there you are cleaning and sorting and chucking stuff. Now you’re really in the zone! You’re a person possessed! You’ve tackled that closet and got rid of the energy associated with a painful past and you feel so much better already, you move on to the rest of the room, or perhaps other closets, drawers, shelves and storage spaces.

And doesn’t it feel fantastic???  Yesssss!!!!  Perhaps you’re even singing or humming, maybe you’ve cranked up some tunes. You might even be dancing around (but don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone I saw you singing into that deodorant can). Amazing, isn’t it? You were dragging your sorry behind all over the house an hour ago and suddenly you’re wired for sound and have no idea where all this energy came from!

But who cares? It feels great and you’re making progress so whatever else you were doing when you got sidetracked with closet-cleaning will just have to wait! After all, you’ve been meaning to do this for…how long?

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When you get these sudden bursts of energy that have you tearing apart your house, decluttering and reorganising in your house, they are usually brought about by a decluttering and a reorganising in you. Our environments reflect what’s going on inside us.  If there is chaos and disorganisation on the outside, you can bet it’s the same on the inside. Equally, a sterile, frighteningly neat and tidy home reflects a need for order and control that stems from fear and anxiety.

Every once in a while, we need a good decluttering in our homes, and certainly inside ourselves, too. And especially when rebuilding your life after a toxic relationship. Every once in a while, it’s good to go through what we need, what we don’t, what’s important to us, what should stay, what must go — whether we’re talking about the stuff in our houses, or the beliefs, desires, what we want, or don’t want — in ourselves. A little personal re-evaluation from time to time is a great thing to experience, and when we find ourselves in the throes of it, whether by circumstance or by choice, we will often find ourselves suddenly compelled to go through the closets and cupboards as we make our homes reflect our inner selves.

Clutter and painful memories

Sometimes, decluttering the closets is the signal that we’re ready to clean house on the inside, too, or that changes have been going on somewhere in there, whether we’ve been particularly aware of them or not.

A word of caution: Depending on your particular situation, on discovering items that relate to painful memories you might feel like you’ve been slammed upside the head with a bag of bricks. If your decluttering happens spontaneously, it would be good to have your phone handy in case you’re suddenly in need of a supportive ear. If you’re planning your decluttering ahead of time and feeling a bit shaky on the whole subject, you might like to ask a trusted friend or family member to be with you as you work your way through parts of your home.

I’ve joked a little about how much fun the decluttering process can be because that is definitely the case much of the time. But I’m well aware that this can be a highly emotionally charged task and you might want to be sure you’ve got some support to help you through it.

You might also prefer to do it alone and to take your time with certain items, acknowledge their former importance, the good times that might be attached to them, or to allow yourself to express grief over lost dreams. Just know that your good memories will always be with you, and the not-so-good ones will have less of a hold on you once you clear that negative energy from your environment.

Honour your past and leave it where it lies. Honour your future by insisting that you take only positive energy with you as you move forward one step at a time.

Embrace the opportunity to declutter

This is how decluttering helps you recover from toxic relationships. Embrace this opportunity to get rid of negative energy, cleanse your home and your aura regularly by being sure you’re not holding onto anything you don’t want or need. Take stock of what you have and what you need — who you are and who you’re not. What to change and what to keep, whether in your house, or in yourself.  It’s the only way you can keep your world (both inner and outer) functioning at maximum capacity like a well-oiled machine.

Hmmmm….I don’t know about you, but I feel a cleaning spree coming on… Better haul out the bin bags!!

This article was originally published at LibertyForrest.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.