We know that there are many unapprehended sociopaths who, exploiting others’ vulnerability, have greedily taken things from them, material and otherwise—valuable, precious things they neither deserve nor deserve to enjoy, yet which they may feel they both deserve and deserve to enjoy, and often perversely do enjoy.
And we know that many of these sociopaths possess smug, contemptuous and notoriously “shameless” attitudes about their exploitation—these attitudes, and the patterns they form, reflecting the essence of their disorder.
And some of these sociopaths may indeed, in a certain sense, get the proverbial “last laugh?”
Picture the sociopath lying on a Carribbean beach, or lounging on the patio of his upscale Antigua villa, sipping a martini with stolen wealth, smiling as if he’s fooled, and owns, the world!
But we must not forget to ask, especially in these cases, what kind of “last laugh” is theirs? And, of course, we must never forget who is doing the laughing!
Because the sociopath’s “last laughter” is a very different kind of last laughter. It is the last laughter of the emotionally damned”¦of a venal, pathetic, hollow individual.
And so his laughter itself, his mirth at having conned so successfully—should he feel something like mirth, flaunt and revel in it—graphically, screamingly reflect his emotional disorder!
Sure, he may look and feel as if he’s conquered the world, and deserves to toast himself, and be toasted; and be treated like the superman he may perceive himself to be. But again: one must never forget that this isn’t the celebration, even the contemptuous arrogance, of the narcissist who has earned his way to easy street. Â
No, while this may be the “last laughter” of a perhaps very clever individual, of a very skilled, perhaps even talented con artist, much more importantly we need to remind ourselves (and even his victims need to remember!) that, however extensive and traumatic the damage he’s inflicted, his is the “last laughter” of an incurably sick individual; of an individual whose “sickness of soul” consigns him, at best, to a hollow, shallow experience even of his pleasures, including those he’s stolen through his remorseless violation of others’ boundaries.
And so the unapprehended sociopath’s smug, contemptuous indulgence of the “easy life” he’s injured (and robbed from) others to falsely seize—that is, his “last laughter—”in the end exposes only one relevent phenomenon—the depth of his emotional perversion and its umbrella, warping effect on his whole personality, including his sense of humor.
(This article is copyrighted © 2011 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is not meant to suggest that females aren’t capable of the behaviors and attitudes discussed.)
Gem,
it’s good to hear that you are moving forward and away from the toxins.
I agree with OneJoy, about being very protective of what’s in your will. Feel free to announce who is NOT in it, but perhaps we should not announce who IS in it.
The fact that I wrote a will and left everything to spath, is the reason why he began the campaign to kill me. Nobody should be worth more dead than alive.
Its amazing to read about the “last laughter” of a hysterical sociopath.
I have heard that laughter many times from my ex girlfriend. It was very embarassing at times, particularly in public environments. It was a kind of laughter reserved for devils as it had no sense of compassion or goodwill. IT was a laugh that I’ll never forget.
These people are greatly deluded in their psyche.
These people are dispicable examples of the human race.
The sad fact is that we cannot change them for their
need to control others, gain sex and material expenses from others in exchange for ZERO. ZILCH. NADA.
Believe me, I know too well from my experience with my sociopathic girlfriend. I have no doubt that she’s laughing at me. She got perfume, she got gifts, she got expensive hotels, she got great dining, she got free plane tickets etc etc. And what did I get? Nothing else but a bit of bedroom fun and that was it. MY HEART IS RUINED. MY SOUL HAS BEEN COMPROMIZED.
I want to move on, I genuinely do but I’m reeling in pain.
Sebbo
You sound like you’re going through so much pain.
I feel so sorry for you man.
When its over its over.
Thats all you can say.
Yeah shes probably laughing but at
the end of the day its you who stopped
her getting the marriage she wanted and
maybe deceiving you even more?
Sorry to hear about your loss Sebbo.
I really hope you get better soon.
Tony
Exactly…..LET them laugh. Let them ALL laugh. As Sebbo pointed out, it’s not joyous laughter, but the “muhahahaha” kind of laughing because they believe they’ve gotten something over on someone else.
Yes, let them laugh. Soon enough, in due time and after the proper steps of grieving, we each will be able to laugh with true joyous abandon. We’ll be able to do that because we FEEL. We can EMPATHIZE. We have a CONSCIENCE!!
Brightest blessings…….
The point is, we cant get inside their head and change them to see the light of day.
These sociopath’s know they have the power.
They know they are one step ahead.
They know they have cut us off.
Some of us, myself included, will not feel the power
until the day we ourselves pass away.
Its just disgusting and dispicable the way these sociopaths treat people.
I know my ex left me a year ago, but I STILL feel the pain.
I feel the bitter dispair of being left for dead.
People do say its a lucky escape – but is it really??
Knowing that someone is laughing at us in our pain?
Its a bitter twisted pyschological game.
just as well I dont drink alcohol because if
I did, I’d probably be on the rocks.
I live as healthy life as I can, I dont get much sleep.
I’m always alert. That is what you get when you suffer
post traumatic stress disorder. You get nothing but
unanswered questions, no closure and misery.
By the way, I recommend you all watch the movie
“Misery” by Stephen King. It is a acurate portrayal of a pyschotic woman who lures a vulnerable man into her web of lies and deceit. I strongly recommend that you all watch this movie to get a “glimpse” of understanding of what I have been through.
Best Wishes
Tony
Tony just be happy you got out unscathed.
Look at me champ.
I’m down in the gutter.
I’ve got absolutely NO closure.
And if I “dare” contact her I am setting myself
up for a restraining order.
Can you now understand the ADDED pain I feel?
I just feel helpless.
Dear Sebbo, you GOT closure.
A famous psychologist once wrote “on cannot NOT communicate”. Also NON-communication is communication. And the restraining order is as communicating as the whole Library of Congress is.
You said NO to this woman’s outragous wishes, and she got it, that you are no stupid open wallet to fulfill her wishes. Your Ex reminds me of Ilsebill:
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm019.html
SHE is now in the gutter, you are out and alive and safe!
You can be very proud of yourself!!!! It is tremendous, and a very brave thing to do. You had in fact the last word by sending the email.
You are correct the ball is in her court. Hopefully she is forgetting about this ball and heading to a new game, as also her biological clock is ticking (and such a lifestyle you can see after a while in the body and in the face, and no plastic surgery can help). You saved a lot of money too, as “divorce before marriage is always the cheapest”.
Be prepared that she will resurface, not now or in two months, but when you are just starting to get some scar tissue over your wounded heart, just trying to rip it off with the poisonous hook.
Here are some very useful entries:
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/08/26/a-list-for-leaving-the-sociopath-behind/
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/05/04/ask-dr-leedom-faq-1-why-is-this-so-hard-for-us-mentally/
Be prepared, and maintain no contact. It is their modus operandi. Meanwile, be nice and gentle towards yourself, pamper yourself, eat well and exercise. You deserve it!! (((((Hugs)))))
Libelle, NO CONTACT is the most priceless rule of survival.
And, it might cost $35 to enter into a legal binding contract of marriage in a Civil Ceremony. At this point, I’ve had to pay about 12K for 2 divorces from sociopaths with the most recent one relieving me of over $250,000.
Yes, Sebbo – count yourself VERY lucky and you’ll get through this hell in due time.
Dear Libbel
– What can i say?
Your words have touched my heart.
I am just so in awe of your compassion towards me.
Thanky you so much for altering my perspective on
an otherwize dangerous situation frought with difficulty.
Your right when you say that I was smart enough to marry
this unbalanced female sociopath.
But as most sociopaths seem to do, she reversed the situation
at the time and said that I could “not afford her” and told
me that I was never going to meet her financial expectations and therefore I was not “marriage material”. So I again felt
worthless as she told me that I had deceived her by not having enough money to buy her 9,000 dollar engagement ring.
But you are right, she didnt get the marriage she wanted.
She told me in the end that I had deceived her.
Who in their right mind would want to get married after the first 3 months of a relationship? Its akin to a “shotgun wedding”. The reason I played along with the idea is because I couldnt believe the attention she was giving me. I was swept off my feet. And as I read Donna’s wonderful articles this seems to be noted as a common trait of sociopathic people. They SHOWER ATTENTION on their victims and RUSH MARRIAGE in the first months of a relationship. That is exactly what happened to me.
Thank you so much Libbel and I will keep your words of encouragement close to me at this horrible time in my life.
Truthspeak
Yes, lucky to have escaped marriage with this serial predator of a woman.
She often told me that I was her “6th proposal”. She said it in a PITIFUL way so as to evoke sympathy for her.
But strangely, my friend who saw her 3 weeks ago while jogging informed me that she told him that she thought of herself as “rarer than rare” and “extemely satisfied” in having 6 men propose to her.
What a twisted woman !!
And the pain continues …..