We know that there are many unapprehended sociopaths who, exploiting others’ vulnerability, have greedily taken things from them, material and otherwise—valuable, precious things they neither deserve nor deserve to enjoy, yet which they may feel they both deserve and deserve to enjoy, and often perversely do enjoy.
And we know that many of these sociopaths possess smug, contemptuous and notoriously “shameless” attitudes about their exploitation—these attitudes, and the patterns they form, reflecting the essence of their disorder.
And some of these sociopaths may indeed, in a certain sense, get the proverbial “last laugh?”
Picture the sociopath lying on a Carribbean beach, or lounging on the patio of his upscale Antigua villa, sipping a martini with stolen wealth, smiling as if he’s fooled, and owns, the world!
But we must not forget to ask, especially in these cases, what kind of “last laugh” is theirs? And, of course, we must never forget who is doing the laughing!
Because the sociopath’s “last laughter” is a very different kind of last laughter. It is the last laughter of the emotionally damned”¦of a venal, pathetic, hollow individual.
And so his laughter itself, his mirth at having conned so successfully—should he feel something like mirth, flaunt and revel in it—graphically, screamingly reflect his emotional disorder!
Sure, he may look and feel as if he’s conquered the world, and deserves to toast himself, and be toasted; and be treated like the superman he may perceive himself to be. But again: one must never forget that this isn’t the celebration, even the contemptuous arrogance, of the narcissist who has earned his way to easy street. Â
No, while this may be the “last laughter” of a perhaps very clever individual, of a very skilled, perhaps even talented con artist, much more importantly we need to remind ourselves (and even his victims need to remember!) that, however extensive and traumatic the damage he’s inflicted, his is the “last laughter” of an incurably sick individual; of an individual whose “sickness of soul” consigns him, at best, to a hollow, shallow experience even of his pleasures, including those he’s stolen through his remorseless violation of others’ boundaries.
And so the unapprehended sociopath’s smug, contemptuous indulgence of the “easy life” he’s injured (and robbed from) others to falsely seize—that is, his “last laughter—”in the end exposes only one relevent phenomenon—the depth of his emotional perversion and its umbrella, warping effect on his whole personality, including his sense of humor.
(This article is copyrighted © 2011 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is not meant to suggest that females aren’t capable of the behaviors and attitudes discussed.)
bluejay
Stargazer,
What a good post!
Annie
Stargazer,
“Does a tornado “win” when it demolishes a house? It is just doing what a tornado does. And all we can really do is get out of the way.”
That is a very helfpful way to think about it. That’s exactly what they’re like; it’s just what they do.
That’s why I think what Donna is doing, educating the world about exploitative personalities, is SOOO critically important. Because society can’t defend itself if it can’t recognize them. And the higher up the food chain these “tornados” go the more damage they do to society.
The one particular path I’m thinking of was involved in a H-U-U-U-G-E scandal here where I live that dominated the press off and on for an entire year (billion dollar boondoggle). But, even though everyone involved knew that he was head honcho, he was only peripherally named in the press, and his flunkies got all the really horrible attention and public shaming. He had more ‘backers’ than not publicly coming to his defense. The problem with that is, he is high enough up that he was then, and continues to be now, one of the main creators of government and NGO public policy on a very critical public policy area (I don’t want to be more specific about the exact industry here). And now, two years later, we’re reading in the press that certain other public policy issues have measurable declines and problems which are directly attributed to the public policy changes he spearheaded. But, as usual, he himself remains publicly unnamed and invisible (I wonder if that’s because the press are afraid of him? They certainly seem to know who he is.)
Although your point about “I doubt he even remembers who I am anymore”, while true for most, doesn’t work for those of us who have the ‘stalker’ type of path. That type N-E-V-E-R forgets who you are and would happily kill themselves just to take *you* down personally (been there – that’s my mother).
anitasee
EB, Good for your pre-emptive action!. You are a spa;th survior role model.
As to the “why?” would he come back? I think it might have to do with “supply”. Mine has come back to his territory where people know his stuff too, but they also remember his glory days, and I think he needs to be around that, to help fill the void, so to speak.
Sounds like yours wants to milk his glory days with you and reconnect with people that still don’t get it, or at least have not let him know that the mask has slipped once too often.
All the best in heading him off at the pass.
ErinBrock
True….a tornado does not ‘win’, because it’s just doing what it does….it’s a tornado.
But a spath knows and plots a course of destruction…..it’s not hapenstance…..It’s intentional.
There are NO coincidences!
Charlie Sheen sums it up for us nicely…..’WINNING”. That’s what it’s ALL about to a spath.
A spath survivor can counter that with….”PROTECTING”
That’s what it’s all about for us.
There are things we can do to midigate the loss from a tornado, to some extent.
And….there are things we can do to midigate the damage from a spath.
I believe it would be stupid to build a stick house without any precautions in tornado ally…..no shelter, no precautions taken into consideration.
Just like I think it’d be stupid on our parts to carry on and be blindsided if we know a spath is lurking with us on his radar.
I’m building my tornado shelter…..ready to go ‘underground’….and making sure I use the best of the best materials in building my shelter.
If the spath strikes harder….or faster…..and is successful in blowing my house apart…..well…..I tried.
In both instances……there is really….only so much we can do.
But to sit back, knowing he’s going to ‘blow’ my way…..and not know what catagory his wind levels will be and do nothing…..is just stupid.
Yes…..milking his glory days is a good sumization. Those days are OVER for him!!!
Ox Drover
EB, you know when you do live in “tornado alley” (I do) and a SERIOUS earth quake fault zone (I do) and down wind from a nuclear power plant by 35 miles (I do) you PREPARE and make an emergency plan.
You make sure you have drinking WATER available no matter what happens—you make sure you have FOOD available to tide you over no matter what happens, and that you have fuel for a generator and a generator (we also lose power during ice storms and big thunder storms year round so don’t want your freezer to melt down) You have preparations made so that your stuff is available…if the house gets blown away there is stuff in the barn, and aircraft hangar, and under the house….and so on, and ammo to defend it if you have to…and a bit of cash around in case the bank is blown away….or earth-quaked away…I may get darned tired of beans and rice and corn but I have 50 pounds of each stored up in caches where it won’t all be destroyed no matter what happens unless it is a BIG tornado direct hit and then it probably won’t matter to me anyway….
But you PREPARE, you carry INSURANCE and you LISTEN FOR WARNINGS and don’t IGNORE THE ONES YOU HEAR.
I think they said the locals here had 26 minutes warning (if they used all their time) before the tornadoes hit here—so if you didn’t heed the warning to get to cover, then you are partly responsible for being blown away.
PREPARE BEFORE HAND, then LISTEN FOR AND HEED THE WARNINGS…I think that is what a lot of us didn’t do in the psychopathic “storms” of our lives. NOW we are aware of just how dangerous these “storms” are and we listen to the warnings and heed them and prepare in advance to not be taken by surprise.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
Nice to see you around again EB!
ErinBrock
One;
Thank you darlen……
I see you have work still…..as challenging as it seems….embrace it. Sometimes when we are challenged, we see the best come out!!!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
i made them so much damn money at the conference EB…i was awesome – crazeee, anxious, but awesome. they got a little grant, and now i have another contract – 6 months and am making a bit more per hour, even. found out on thursday. hahhahhaaaaaa. 🙂
ErinBrock
Build on the momentum!!!!!!
Gogetemgirl!!!!
Denise Guiney
They will not be laughing once money, even bank notes becomes more trackable. See the “where’s George” website for instance, Victims will have the last laugh then. You will be able to investigate what your significant other actually did with any money you gave them. We won’t be looking to pay to take legal action against these parisites, the feds will be doing it for us. They will be clearly able to see who is thowing all their money into poker machines and conning to make up, so when domestic allegations are made we won’t be treated like fools. These people have a disorder and the people who run gaming businessess are just as sociopathic as they are. We will have the last laugh as these people will become the new order of slaves as they pay for the fun they had at our expense.