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7 WAYS TO BE NARCISSIST’S WORST NIGHTMARE

This topic contains 11 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  [email protected] 6 months ago.

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  • #45169

    angelstar
    Participant
  • #45177

    acharbet
    Participant

    This is an interesting article but one thing bothers me: why do I want revenge?

    Surely seeking revenge is seeking to emulate the abusive behaviour. How can one do that without agreeing that the behaviour was acceptable?

    I think it is far better to seek freedom and success, not revenge. And then to treat the narcissist as the vampire they are.

    Vampires do not enter one’s home unless invited in. So don’t invite them in.

    And don’t allow the vampire the ability to ‘turn you’ into one of them.

    Love to all.

  • #45178

    Donna Andersen
    Keymaster

    Great perspective acharbet!

    • #45188

      acharbet
      Participant

      Thank you, Donna!

  • #45180

    angelstar
    Participant

    where in this article does it State Revenge?

  • #45186

    acharbet
    Participant

    Hi, angelstar.

    Here:

    “If you truly want revenge, here are signs that can help you be narcissist’s worst nightmare.

    1. They caused you pain which you use now against them.

    Even though you had many troubles while you were with a narcissist, you can now find a way to be powerful and smarter. You are more courageous and their toxicity is now redirected in your benefit. You have taken this as a lesson and you definitely know how to rise above this and how to be powerful as you never were.”

  • #45187

    acharbet
    Participant

    When I learned the truth about what my abuser had done to me, the assault and torture, I was angry and wanted revenge. But I decided not to pursue that as I saw that would mean I’d be pursuing her mindset, adopting it as my own.

    Many narcissists and sociopaths, having suffered their own abuses, are hell-bent on wreaking revenge, ‘re-living’ their trauma from a comparative position of strength. I think at least in some cases, their innocent victims are proxies, stand-ins for those who actually traumatised them. Much as some people enter into unhealthy relationship after unhealthy relationship, essentially because they are trying to renegotiate (on better terms) their relationships with their parents. My own succession of bad relationships was, I came to know, my attempt to renegotiate my perceived ‘failures’ to ‘earn’ the love of my malignantly narcissistic mother.

    My experiences have lead me to believe that most if not all sociopaths are essentially abuse victims who have adopted the false sense of safety that comes from becoming a predator.

    As an abuse survivor, I am wary of the risk that I might too make such choices. I do not want to harm anyone. I therefore strive to rise above that.

    Love to all.

    • #45191

      [email protected]
      Participant

      I agree with you in that some of us are looking for someone to stand in for the parent we wished we’d had. In my case my father, although not emotionally supportive, protected me and shielded me from many harsh things in life. I think I was looking for that person to trust without fault but instead was taken advantage of and terribly emotionally abused and terrified. My parents never fought or raised a voice toward one another so I never experienced such torture until I married my spath airline captain. The day he came after me while my parents were in the house my father said, I’m afraid to leave you here alone. We need to get you out of here.” Long story short I got away from him. Have stayed away from him. Moved to another state and am so much better without him. Never look back.

  • #45189

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    What I want with a disordered person is No Contact and to move on.

    • #45190

      acharbet
      Participant

      Absolutely, Sunnygal!

  • #45192

    [email protected]
    Participant
  • #45193

    [email protected]
    Participant

    Airline Pilot Central Forums > Airline Pilot Forums > Major > Delta pilot arrested
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    View Full Version : Delta pilot arrested

    icedawg8
    01-25-2009, 06:45 PM
    Husband jailed for assault, rape

    Husband jailed for assault, rape | The Citizen Online (http://www.thecitizen.com/%7Ecitizen0/node/34504)

    Suspect denied bond; prosecutor calls it ‘worst case’ of family violence she has seen
    A Peachtree City woman suffered two broken wrists and a broken toe at the hands of her husband, who also raped her at the couple’s home in the Kedron Hills neighborhood Sunday, according to court documents in the case.
    This afternoon Michael William Ellicott, 47, was denied bond on several criminal charges filed in the case.
    Assistant District Attorney Lura Landis said this is the worst domestic violence case she has seen in her entire 32 year as an attorney. Landis said she has personally spoken to two members of the community who asked that Ellicott remain jailed without bond because they also were afraid of him.
    Landis said neither of those people are related to the victim in the case, and they both will testify when a bond hearing is held in Superior Court on the rape charge.
    Ellicott was denied bond in the case by Fayette County Magistrate Charles R. Floyd Jr. Only Superior Court judges are allowed to consider bond on violent charges such as rape.
    The incident occurred over a period of time Sunday at the couple’s home, listed at 209 Portico Place, according to arrest warrants filed in the case.
    Ellicott is charged with rape, three counts of aggravated battery (family violence), aggravated assault (family violence), false imprisonment (family violence) and two counts of cruelty to children in the third degree. The cruelty to children charges are because the violence occurred in front of their two children, according to arrest warrants.
    Ellicott’s attorney, Allen Turner, said his client has never been arrested before and argued that he is not a flight risk. Turner said he would be willing to surrender his client’s passport.
    Ellicott is a pilot at Delta Air Lines, and the company will be looking into the matter, a spokesperson said.
    In addition to denying bond, Floyd ordered that Ellicott may not contact the victim nor any of her family members, even in a phone call from the jail.
    Floyd said he would revisit the bond matter at a later date should Ellicott gain a bond on the rape charge from a Superior Court judge.
    A company spokesperson noted that Ellicott is a first officer, which is the lowest rank of pilot at the company.

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