How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Dealing with sociopaths in court › Attorney recommendations
September 11, 2017 at 9:13 am #42161
I would like to ask for some attorney recommendations in Utah please if you have known anyone going through this nightmare. I posted a question asking readers about an alternative, https://lovefraud.com/forums/topic/preparing-to-leave-my-sociopath/ but I have to be prepared, because with everything I am readying, I might not still have a clue who I am dealing with. I only have a few hour frame this week, Thursday and Friday to talk to them and arrange to meet if necessary. I haven’t left the house by myself for 2.5 years and stupidly I thought my husband is very protective of me, he would say there are people out there wanting to steal pretty little girls, so I can’t take a chance at this difficult time.We have always been together and I had no idea I have been with a manipulative predator.
If you have suggestions, I appreciate your help.
My email is rosy dot dong 62 at gmail dot com if you are to email.
September 19, 2017 at 7:32 am #42259
I do not live in Utah so I have no recommendations for you but what I can say is thoroughly check out any potential atty before you hire or enter into a contract.
I thought I had found someone to protect me… promising me and my daughter I wouldn’t lose my home, a home in my name and one that I have paid the mortgage payments by myself…the home where my business, a thriving developmental preschool with an excellent reputation. I have been the main contributor in this marriage between my job and my inheritances and yet…
today I sit here with the realization that this atty did not do his due diligence…. I was forced to settle… under much duress…. threatened that the judge was a “loose cannon”…. challenged about my age in this business.. I am only 64 and then challenged “what if something catastrophic happened to me in 3 mos”- yes…they were trying to instill fear… yet my daughter is educated and fully capable of taking over and running this program- she already is an educator here and is the Administrative and educational substitute…..I was in disbelief of how I have been treated by this Atty.
I was not afforded my 2 day trial as I was supposed to and my atty never met the deadlines of discovery ordered by the initial judge…. when I learned of the structural damage my husband had intentionally done were extensive after hiring a home inspector and then a structural engineer to do inspections.. I pleaded for him to appear before the court to file a motion for allowing new evidence… he never did. I now have to sell my home = lose my business… this home will not be able to be sold for the cost of the 2 mortgages due to the extensive repairs… and I will most likely have to claim bankruptcy.
I don’t mean to frighten you but BE AWARE and hire someone familiar with dealing these disordered individuals. I thought I was safe with my representation… and of course he sits on the board of a battered woman’s shelter.
I have moved from one nightmare to another…. so tragic 🙁
Wishing you the very best in your search for a knowledgeable atty equipped with the knowledge to deal these disordered and manipulative spouses/partners.
I don”t say this to frighten or scare you…. but please do be careful… find a “pro” if you can…. there is a site called Aavo.com to look up lawyers in your area.
With love, light and blessings,
September 19, 2017 at 11:12 am #42263
ROsy, look at the site one moms battle. com and also their Facebook page. One of those list lawyers “that get it” about dealing with a narcissist.
If you dont see your state/city then just ask the site creator to ask “Anyone know a lawyer in such & such a city, Utah”.
If you chose to chat on One moms battle Facebook page I would recommend that you open a fake email & then a fake Facebook page so that you can chat freely with your husband, his family, his friends seeing what you are typing.
Donna Anderson has written a post on “one moms battle” so if you go to the top right corner of Love Fraud you can do a search to read her article. She has also posted videos with Tina Swiften.
My recommendation is right now to just get away from him & set up a safe house for yourself (& your children ??) then focus on a lawyer since you most likely are extremely stressed out. You can ask your most trusted family or friends to help you look for a lawyer to take some pressure off of you.
Wishing you all the best
September 20, 2017 at 9:09 am #42270
Thank you Jan 7, the questions to find the right attorney were helpful on one mums battle. I am planning to leave this Sunday, hopefully I don’t collapse by then. Thanks again
September 20, 2017 at 9:17 am #42271
Thank you elle for sharing your emotional story. How sad that you were treated that way…I have forwarded some pointers I learned from your email to my attorney that I found by making some calls (high caliber/expensive attorneys don’t seem to make me feel that they are passionate about helping me/they don’t even reply to my appointment request or read my concerns, so I made some random calls to five star attorneys in my area and found one that had an ability to listen).
It is unfortunate that people like us suffer so much in the hands of this manipulative predators. All I can wish for you is to be Happy, to show that you are Happy without him, happy no matter how he treated you. I found this would be the best revenge.
Thanks for taking a time to share your experience again, and wishing you all the best.
I plan to escape this Sunday and I keep fingers crossed. I pray that I don’t have a heart attack just before getting into the taxi with my suitcases. My husband will be out of State, first time without me as I will pretend twisting my leg and falling ill tonight (I have been sick already long time!).
September 20, 2017 at 7:31 pm #42280
Hi Rosy, I just want you to know that you are an amazing strong woman!!! You are setting your self free!!
Please know that most dangerous time for a woman in a abusive relationship is when she is either leaving her abuser or has just left. So reach out to your local abuse center for help. The USA National domestic violence hotline is open 24/7 365 days a year. You can talk with a free counselors and they can give you your local abuse center numbers. YOU ARE NOT ALONE HON!! So reach out to them for help.
Bit your tongue this week with your husband. Dont take his bait to fight. And dont forget to breath. Put your hand on your heart and feel the air in your lungs to calm yourself down if you start to become to stressed out.
HUGS TO YOU!!?
WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!
dont forget to clear your computer history each time you end your computer session.
Wishing you all the best!!
September 21, 2017 at 8:41 am #42284
You and everyone else have been so supportive on this platform, I can’t thank you guys enough. I have great news! We were both scheduled to fly out 7.15am this morning to Virginia and as planned last night, I went up the bed of the truck as if grabbing a toilet paper from the garage shelf and pretended I fell and twisted my leg. My husband picked me up from the floor. It worked! I couldn’t sleep all night anyways and we were up 3am wanting to get ready but I showed him I was in pain, I still insisted in going to make sure he has no doubts…Then about an hour before we left I remembered what I learned about psychopaths – They like looking Good! Surely my husband wouldn’t have wanted to be with a disabled woman no matter how pretty she was so I made such a comment. Sure enough he suggested that I stay home to recover so I called and cancelled my ticket. My husband is in line to board now, its about 7 hours with a connection and I am glad he is going far. I feel so liberated. I can finally breath. I still have to pretend everything is fine until I get out of this toxic house on Sunday morning, or he will panic. He is scheduled to be back Sunday night. I have a few days to plan, talk to banks and CPAs, Donna gave me a great advice… What a shame how my marriage worked out!
Anyways, the reason I shared this is because I don’t feel that domestic violence hotline or any such thing is any good for me. I have already contacted therapists for future sessions, so if I continue feeling like a “victim” it would be much harder to emotionally get over this toxic past.I just want to be strong and have another chance in life.
Thanks for the suggestions and support.
This platform is incredible since I can’t communicate about this troublesome issue in any other way.
Thank you all!
September 20, 2017 at 7:32 pm #42281
USA National domestic violence hotline 800-799-SAFE
February 15, 2018 at 5:42 am #44156
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