How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › This is for all our wonderful participants
October 26, 2019 at 4:43 pm #54896
This post stream is created to have a space where everybody can put quotations that they love or have found very helpful. My intention is that it will become a library for everyone to give and have access to inspiration and wisdom. I hope all will contribute so it will be kept current, helpful and vibrant with truth!
Here’s a quotation from Almine’s – Book of Daily Mantras – “ I am in love with life; with the passages of day and night, the warmth of the sun and the star studded sky. With aware appreciation I am enraptured. “
October 27, 2019 at 7:16 pm #54913
Hi Everybody –
Here is another quote that I hope you will find helpful :
It’s from ‘The Five Step Exit’ by Amber Ault :
“ A pattern of inconsistent behavior psychologists call ‘ intermittent reinforcement ‘ makes leaving toxic relationships very difficult. Sometimes your partner’s behavior feels unkind, unpleasant, volatile, and abusive. At other times you find relief or delight in your partner’s charm, care, or sexual attention. If your partner were awful all the time, you would have left long ago. When your partner behaves like your dream mate, they give you hope that their lying, cheating, financial exploitation, yelling, and verbal or physical abuse represent some kind of bizarre anomaly that can be explained ….. Intermittent reinforcement keeps us hopeful and in denial, like the dog whose abusive human occasionally tosses out a treat to keep the pup ever hopeful that a happy life with kind rewards will grow from unjustified loyalty.”
October 27, 2019 at 8:09 pm #54914
polestar- Good quote. Intermittent reinforcement can keep us stuck.
October 28, 2019 at 4:15 pm #54919
Here’s a quote from ( our wonderful ) Donna Andersen’s book – Red Flags of Love Fraud – “ Sociopaths do not care about love ….. In fact, the core of this personality disorder is an inability to love. “
October 28, 2019 at 7:07 pm #54925
polestar- So true!!
October 28, 2019 at 7:14 pm #54926Donna AndersenKeymaster
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
October 29, 2019 at 10:39 pm #54928
“ Create each day anew by clothing yourself with Heaven and Earth, bathing yourself with wisdom and love, and placing yourself in the heart of Mother Nature. “
– Morihei Ueshiba – The Art Of Peace –
( he was the founder of Aikido )
October 30, 2019 at 4:10 pm #54932
October 30, 2019 at 4:03 pm #54931
“ A narcissist’s main concern in life is to control the people around him – namely, us – so he gets what he wants, whatever that may be … Even when he or she is being as sweet as pie ( which is of course, a facade ), the narcissist is controlling us. “
Zari Ballard from “ Narcissist Free “
January 3, 2020 at 6:21 pm #55654
October 30, 2019 at 6:25 pm #54935slimoneParticipant
We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.
October 30, 2019 at 6:35 pm #54937slimoneParticipant
To have his path made clear for him is the aspiration of every human being in our beclouded and tempestuous existence.
November 1, 2019 at 11:18 am #54944emilie18Participant
Thank you for creating this space. Here are two that mean a lot to me:
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
– Mary Anne Radmacher
“In times of pain, when the future is too terrifying to contemplate and the past too painful to remember, I have learned to pay attention to right now. The precise moment I was in was always the only safe place for me.”
– Julia Cameron
December 10, 2019 at 7:57 pm #55404
November 1, 2019 at 2:23 pm #54945
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
November 1, 2019 at 6:38 pm #54946
I love reading everybody’s insightful quotes !
Here’s one from Wayne Dyer’s book, Pulling Your Own Strings –
“ When you are in the company of boorish people who you feel are abusing you with their stories, bragging or pushiness, practice excusing yourself, getting right up and leaving. “
November 2, 2019 at 6:10 pm #54947
Here is one from Nora Ephron’s movie Heartburn:
And then the dreams break into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality or you can go off like a fool and dream another dream.
- This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Sunnygal.
November 3, 2019 at 1:44 pm #54951
A cherry tree
And there are no flowers,
But the spring breeze
Brings forth myriad blossoms !
from: Wild Ways – Zen Poems of Ikkyu
November 4, 2019 at 4:33 pm #54963
From ‘ Exposing Financial Abuse ‘ by Shannon Thomas –
” Financial abuse and exploitation is quietly happening all around us, hidden within our neighborhoods and communities…We all need to have the collective understanding of how money is being used to entrap, control and abuse the people around us. Hidden financial abuse. ”
November 5, 2019 at 9:16 pm #54978
Jennifer Annisren and Reese Witherspoom have a new show called The Morning Show on Apple TV. iT deals with workplace harassment. Here is a qyote from Jennifer:
There’s this absolute denial. ‘It was consensual, it was consentual.’ If you are narcissistic to the degree alot of these guys are, they think every woman wants to sleep with them.
- This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by Sunnygal.
November 6, 2019 at 1:02 am #54981
“ Don’t ever delude yourself into thinking that you should have the ability to stay serene no matter how you are treated. Your serenity comes from the knowledge that you have a fundamental right to a nurturing environment and a fundamental right to affirm your boundaries “
– from ‘ The Verbally Abusive Relationship ‘ by Patricia Evans
November 8, 2019 at 6:17 pm #55033
“ I treat myself and others with tender kindness and I receive the benevolent support of the cosmos. “
– from ‘ The Book of Daily Mantras ‘ by Almine
November 9, 2019 at 12:59 pm #55043
“ Be the change you want to see in the world “
November 10, 2019 at 2:08 pm #55049
Here is a humorous quote from Nora Ephron-
I don’t think any day is worth living without thining about what you are going to eat at all times.
November 10, 2019 at 7:52 pm #55057
Good one, SG! – light hearted and refreshing.
One from ‘ The Verbally Abusive Relationship ‘,
By Patricia Evans –
“ One of our greatest needs is to understand and to be understood. In a verbally abusive relationship, the partner’s need to understand and to be understood is not met. On the other hand, her belief that her mate is rational and that understanding can be reached keeps her in the relationship. The fact that she can’t come to an understanding with her mate simply because he is abusive and will defeat her through abusive power plays is almost incomprehensible to the partner. Not coming to this realization, however, leaves the partner living in an incomprehensible reality where she is blamed for the battering of her own spirit.”
November 13, 2019 at 12:07 am #55095
“ All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way “
– from ‘ Anna Karenina ‘ by Leo Tolstoy
November 13, 2019 at 5:38 pm #55106
“ The dance between an empath and an abuser is one of control, mind games and mockery. This is why education is such a critical step in the healing process. Tenderness from empaths will be used against them time and time again by psychological abusers. “
– From ‘ Healing From Hidden Abuse ‘ by Shannon Thomas
December 7, 2019 at 7:45 pm #55364
November 14, 2019 at 5:52 pm #55112
Here is a quote by Nora Ephron at the 1996 Wellesley graduation about life:
It will be messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like you think it will be like, but surprizes are good for you. And don’t forget: you can always change your mind. I’ve had 4 carrers and 3 husbands.
November 15, 2019 at 1:08 am #55121
“ Turning negatives into positives became important for fully healing. Love is the most powerful force in the universe and I chose to move forward with love for my daughter rather than bitterness for my abusers. “
From ‘ PTSD: Time to Heal “ by Cathy O’Brien
December 8, 2019 at 4:23 pm #55369
Agree with this.
November 15, 2019 at 5:05 pm #55126
“ Manipulative people are always “ telling “ because they have nothing good to show. Their inappropriate and dishonest actions never actually match up with their promising words, causing an overwhelming cognitive dissonance in the people who trust them. “
– Patrick Mac Kenzie, ‘ Psychopath Free ‘.
December 21, 2019 at 6:27 pm #55500
This is true.
November 18, 2019 at 5:03 pm #55153
Wayne Dyer said that he studied the words, “ Success is a journey, not a destination “, and said this about the quote: “ Don’t evaluate your life in terms of achievements, trivial or monumental, along the way. If you do, you will be destined to the frustration of always seeking out other destinations, and never allowing yourself actually to be fulfilled. “ – From ‘ Pulling Your Own Strings ‘
December 11, 2019 at 4:10 pm #55413
Yes to the journey.
November 20, 2019 at 2:48 pm #55182
November 20, 2019 at 4:06 pm #55186
“ … verbal violence all too often goes unrecognized, except at a level that you cannot even understand yourself. You know you are suffering, and you vaguely know where the pain is coming from; but because the aggression is so well hidden, you are likely to blame yourself instead of the aggressor. “ “ Your problem is that you are the victim of verbal violence and you don’t have the least idea of how to defend yourself against it.”
– From ‘ The gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense ‘ by Suzette Haden Elgin
November 23, 2019 at 4:31 pm #55203
“ The wise don’t need to ask, the fools ask in vain. “
– ‘ A Wizard Of Earthsea ‘ by Ursula Le Guin
December 8, 2019 at 7:28 pm #55370
“ Life is nothing but a dream, and if we are artists, then we can create our dream with love and our dream becomes a masterpiece of art. “
– from ‘ The Mastery of Love ‘ by Don Miguel Ruiz
December 11, 2019 at 7:13 pm #55414ridgidParticipant
Great your seeing your therapist again..Now are you serious about getting yourself better? Or still using them to educate yourself on how to best manipulate and control people?
December 18, 2019 at 2:07 pm #55469
“ It is a sad state of affairs, but the fact of the matter is that the healthiest people – the most honest, whose patterns of thinking are the least distorted – are the ones easiest to treat with psychotherapy and the most likely to benefit from it. Conversely, the sicker the patients – the most dishonest in their behavior and distorted in their thinking – the less able we are to help them with any degree of success. When they are very distorted and dishonest, it seems impossible. “ – Scott Peck from ‘ People of the Lie ‘.
December 18, 2019 at 4:54 pm #55471
I’ve always admired Scott Peck.
December 19, 2019 at 7:20 pm #55482
The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share.
Rabbi Harold Kushner
December 22, 2019 at 7:13 pm #55509
“ Ho Ho Ho …. Merry Christmas! “ – Santa Claus
December 29, 2019 at 8:03 pm #55583
January 28, 2020 at 6:55 pm #55887emilie18Participant
A friend posted this on my Facebook page — I felt it was worth sharing:
“That didn’t happen,
and if it did, it wasn’t that bad,
and if it was, it’s not that big of a deal,
and if it is, I didn’t mean to do it,
and if I did, then it was all your fault.”
January 28, 2020 at 10:48 pm #55892
Great one ! Especially the “ it was all your fault “ part. But then again, the “ that didn’t happen “ line nailed it too !
January 30, 2020 at 2:47 am #55932
February 11, 2020 at 3:18 pm #56030
Start Where You Are: A Journal of Self-Discovery
by Meera Lee Patel
February 14, 2020 at 6:40 pm #56048
Here is a funny:
February 14, 2020 at 7:36 pm #56050
Pizza is a cure all !!!
February 14, 2020 at 8:08 pm #56052
Yes, It is!!
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