How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Why did he marry me?
March 6, 2019 at 4:59 pm #49356
I am recently divorced from a psychopath / narcissist. Of course I only realized that he was a psychopath after we separated. It was a horrible and short marriage and everything I read about psychopath, just fits.
I am left with one main question however – why would a psychopath want to marry? Why wouldn’t he just Discard me before. Marriage is a bigger thing with family involved etc. I’d love to get some ideas for this…
March 6, 2019 at 5:16 pm #49357
Jane 13 – I did a video on the topic. Maybe it will help.
March 6, 2019 at 9:49 pm #49360
March 7, 2019 at 8:14 am #49363
Jane13 – A wedding is a great stage, and psychopaths love to be on stage. My guess is that he was acting for the audience.
March 7, 2019 at 12:20 pm #49364
Jane13, Hi welcome to LF. Sorry you find yourself here, but it is a great place for answers and support.
These types LOVE attention. They LOVE drama. They LOVE fooling people. And, they love inflicting maximum damage to their targets.
If you want to watch a watermelon make a big splat. You don’t drop it a few inches from the ground. You take it to the roof, and video it in slow motion. This is what sociopaths love to do, only we are the watermelons.
The guy I knew would cry, tell people I was the love of his life, and pretend to be proud of me in a group people. He would, when other folks were around, jump up to get my shawl, or get me a glass of water.
This was ALL just him managing his external image. All pretend. In private he was a brutal emotional abuser. He was sexually deviant, aggressive, abusive. He was jealous of everyone. He was NEVER to blame for any of his life issues. He was a liar, cheater, and master manipulator.
Honestly though, I think he believed his own charade. I don’t think these types are ‘crazy’ in the classical sense, you know, completely having lost their minds. But I do think they are DEEPLY, pathologically, delusional (characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder).
So they just do whatever they want to whenever it strikes their fancy, not caring one bit that they are only being ‘that person’ for the moment. If it makes them happy, even for a second, they will do it, and then do the opposite when that seems fun.
March 12, 2019 at 6:19 pm #49397
As the 29 years I was with him, went on and on..I too wondered (and asked) why DID you marry me? Never did get any kind of answer. He didn’t cry at our wedding, but he was clearly loving all the attention he got, as the happy groom, with a bride by his side. When we had our kids, same thing. He got ALL the glory, credit and honor as DADDY. I wasn’t given credit for anything. (it was my idea that we save our money and have a simple courthouse wedding, with 2 witnesses and a judge)..oh no, we HAD to have a church wedding (his words..so nobody thinks you’re pregnant!)..it was all about HIM.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.