Come Valentine’s Day, many unattached people, or people in less-than-fulfilling relationships, may be willing to accept less than they really deserve, just to have a few crumbs of “romance.” Sarah Strudwick writes that perhaps it’s time for a change. Read:
Happy pathological free Valentines Day, on WakingYouUp.wordpress.com.
Hi All , Happy Love Day to you all. Hug yourselves tight, buy yourselves sweets, and champaigne, fill a glass for ‘me’ and cheers to you all, ‘clink!’ . We are wonderful, loving , smart women and we ARE our own best friends. No one else will be there when we are dealing with these issues, but we are ALL here for us when its done and in the past. I don’t comment much, but do read. Vidya, do what KatyDid is doing, because that is how we love ourselves; and how we disassociate from the past where the s path crashed about our hearts unrestrained is OVER. They are OUT and not allowed back IN. We are protective now, we are wiser and smarter than ever now. We KNOW – now, WE ARE WORTH BETTER . So the better you all are to yourselves today, that is what you should expect from any ‘mate’ and NO LESS. Honesty, sincerity, and no games. I’ll take that in a Valentine’s day box anyday!!!
Im not going to eat candy, im going to thank God for my peace of mind, that the past is done and a beautiful future awaits outside my door. That’s my Gift, from God.
Happy Love Day!
Happy Singles Awareness Day (SAD, hee hee)….also known as Valentine’s Day.
Vidya- He won’t treat anyone, ultimately, any better than he treated you. He may have learned a bit (like Hens says) about wooing the next woman, and painting his ‘mask’ up a little more carefully. But the mask will peel, and eventually he will be ‘himself’, in all his gory ugliness. She will suffer the same fates that you did.
Try not to give it too too much thought. No one will get anything better than you did. He is what he is. There is NO getting around that.
I am eating red velvet cake for breakfast. Thanks to the nurse practitioner I work with. It has little hearts frosted on it. Yummy.
Love you ALL,
Slim
HI all!
I like “Happy love day” I am feeling pretty good today. It was a year ago that my spath left me. (Feb. 11) for the last time, for I had let him back into my life 3 times since I kicked him out in Sept. of 2010. I was so devasted. He wrote me a note and left it on my night stand. he went off and married another woman in March of 2010. I wondered if I ever was going to be able to get over him. Well, for all of you that are still in the first intial stages of healing… please, please note it does get better. I have been going to therapy and it is helping so much. I drew in another man that has a personality disorder and now I am detaching myself from him. He is not a spath, but there are red flags that things are not right with him. I am going to use the “no contact” rule with him as well. I am learning from my therapist that I may have a diease that is described in the book ” Women that love to much” by Robin Norwood. It is an amazing read and I can relate to this book so well. I believe that many of us on this site can benefit from reading it.
I have a wonder date planned for this evening. My daughter and I are going out to Red Lobster and we are going to go shopping. I am going to by myself a new robe. And every time I put it on, I will think that I am giving myself a hug. I will wrap myself up and say ” I love you” and mean it.
ps for those of you that don’t know my story… my ex spath showed up at my house on Christmas day…. he is not happy with his new wife. I was able to hear it myself ( it helped with my closure) but trust me when I say that all of you that haven’t been given an closure, just know that they are misrable. Each and everyone of them are completely and utterly misrable and they always will be. You can not change them. You can only change yourself. Love yourself and get professional help if you can. Also come back to this site often, it really helped in my healing. I used it pretty much everyday at the begining of healing, now I come on and read about once a week.
Thank you all for sharing your stories. We can help each other heal here. I feel the love here! Happy Love day, to all!
~Sadme
♥ ♥ ♥
Sky ~ me thinks Hens is going to be jealous that you can make little hearts.
Milo,
!
if he is, he can just make a
My ex spath didn’t even know my damn birthday, nevermind Valentines day (which he gave to others, just not me), or Christmas. Never got squat. I’m soooo glad I don’t have to be destroyed again this day.
Belgian chocolate, French roast coffee, and California wine are my ways of celebrating Valentines day, woo-hoo.
I highly suggest Cupcake vineyards red velvet wine. 🙂
Sadme ~ *Red Lobster* *Shopping with your Daughter* and a *New Robe* – That is my kind of Valentine’s Day.
Thank you for sharing your healing story. Great to hear it.
God Bless
Hello everyone,
It’s been a while since I felt a need to read LF or post on LF since I have been well on my healing path…but today struck me as necessary, since I blew it.
You see, I was just about all healed from my 5 year roller coaster relationship with the spath, going on almost 12 months of no direct contact but today he texted me “happy Valentine’s day” and the rage in me welled. I vowed at first NOT to respond, but I got so angry remembering how miserable every V day was and how DARE he wish me a happy V day that I just let it rip.
I asked him if he was cheating and lying to his new GF like he did to me on V day by going off to be with another woman, I asked him if he was lying to her telling her “I love you, you are the only one, I want to live the rest of my life with you” like he did me all the while using me as a nurse maid for his latest medical issue, a cook, his personal architect and arm candy……I asked him if he was still using her like he used me….he responded “I love you”!!!!!! I became more outraged ….and texted back, which led to several more agravating exchanges.
On one text he told me I was “so conflicted”, told me to “please release the anger, call it a truce and let’s call an end to this crazines”, to “make peace with my father so I cna move on” he appologizes of “all the pain I caused U”, “let the past go and move into happiness”…that “I have unique features but I am no longer a part of his life nor will I be in his life in the future”…..I assure him by saying “Thank God for that. I will never let you in my life again, you are a sick man”-“please leave me alone”….
Unfortunatly we travel in the same circle of ballroom dancers, so I have to see him from time to time and see how in love his new GF seems to be with him. I know about her through mututal friends and found her to be the perfect vicitm; The lady is 8 years older than him at 65, and a cancer survivor (like him), who is a retired social worker that specialized in dealing with abused children! She is available at his beck and call…she has been warned about who he is, yet she goes on lovingly taking care of him and looking adoring at the dances.
I am angry that this man is being loved and cared for by an older woman who he has charmed into his lies and manipulations. I am angry that he is using yet another woman! ….I am angry at myself for blowing up and responding to his text message….I still can NOT GET RID OF HIS POISON IN MY SOUL.
Happy Valentines Day to all! I love you all!!!
Since my divorce, my daughters have always celebrated the day with things they made in school for me and little presents they gathered up at the dollar store for me! I knew I was loved and still am….at least 2 of the 3 love me!
The only man I was involved with was one of those….”holidays are PAGAN…blah blah blah….
Never gave me a gift for xmas or b/day, mother’s day..etc.
NO romance! NEVER took me to an elegant resturaunt…
When I ended the r/s because I told him I am a traditionalist and I DO celebrate holidays…and I love “romance”….(like WRAPPING a gift you give to me…etc…
He basically told me I was “lucky” to have a loving caring man like him. I told him, “Great, we can be best friends, but I am not going to be intimate with a man who is not romantic”
He put me down for not wanting him….I told him I want to be treated like a ‘woman’…not just taken out to a pub for a beer and sandwich.
UGH!
NO SEX with this guy! NO romance, no affection outside of the bedroom, no sex!
So, we just talk on the phone, because he refuses to pay for even a movie for me if we aren’t b/f-g/f!
What a man!!! YUK
So, someday a wonderful man will enter my world……and I am NOT settling for less!!
PS- My spathD walked in today and went to the closet for some clothes…brought her little friend…..and left. No hello…nothing.
I didn’t even say a word. YUK again. lol