Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.
It is easy to get caught up in the pain and suffering and not see all the good. Often times, when we are most hurt, it is difficult to see anything but pain and evil.
The world is full of good, selfless giving, love and miracles. We just need to look for it! I like a saying I once heard that goes like this”¦
“You are what you pay attention”
This is true for me because when I am grateful, I feel good. And when I feel good, I anticipate good things and miracles. If I am looking for these things, they tend to materialize.
Today I am grateful for all of you here at Lovefraud.
I am grateful that we can share with each other and heal together.
I am grateful for those that have helped me along the way.
I am grateful for my family, my health and my life.
I am grateful for Miracles.
Miracles are expressions of God’s love and they are not random events. We can participate in the process that invites them into our lives. That process is helping others heal.
Miracles are a correction in our lives. It is God doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves. There is so much talk of evil on this website, and rightly so, but there is something else that is so much more powerful.
That powerful force is the unconditional love of our creator. When we begin to trust it, miracles happen. When we help another human being and bring hope into a hopeless situation all of mankind benefits.
This is the solution. Be grateful, focus on helping each other and learn to trust God’s love. Yes, there are different ideas on what love is, but the most helpful “worldly” image for me is the unconditional love of a mother for her child (not the imitation that many of us were harmed with).
Hope you don’t mind if I use a little scripture today. This turned out to be my experience”¦thank God!
James 1:2-12
Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
Now that’s A Promise I can live with! Peace.
I’m having trouble finding anything about about my P sperm donor’s maternal grandfather. I do know the man was a Methodist circuit riding preacher, and that he had 4 at least wives, and 2 wives at the same time…I suspect he may have been high in P traits….maybe he didn’t think his current wife was pretty enough to be the first lady of the church. LOL (sorry Newt!)
Anyway, can’t find much about him, and his daughter my paternal was definitely high in P traits, she was Universally disliked by everyone who knew her. She became a physician but did not practice long as she died of female cancer after practicing for about 4 years Her husband, also a physician, probably would have been glad if she had decided to practice in India.
So except for the few stories I have about my paternal grandmother who died before I did, there won’t be much about what kind of woman she was in any records future generations will find. That is one reason I published the book about that side of the family. At least the stories won’t die with me.
Oxy ~
I was all excited about doing geneology work on my family, but not for long ……
Most of my investigations turned into a “WHAT????” – He did WHAT??? No way !!!! She did WHAT????? with WHO??? No way !!!
Then there was the conversation with my 85 year old Dad. “Dad, do you remember that nursing home you just hated to visit your grandmother in?” “It wasn’t a nursing home at all, it was an insane asylum!” Dad to Milo “I always wondered why there were bars on the windows, smelled bad too.” Turns out, after having 5 boys g-granny really, really wanted a girl. So – she told everyone that # 6 was a girl, dressed him like a girl then actually attempted to surgically alter him into a girl.
End of geneology – some things better left to the imagination.
Oxy, it definitely sounds like there are many people who eradicated evidence of the P’s in their lives!
Shortly after my recent post about no info being available for my great-grandfather, it dawned on me that over the years my parents occasionally spoke of two mysterious deaths of females in the family. Both females had married offspring of Patrick (my great grandfather) and succumbed to unusual accidents.
Funny comment about your great grandfather’s fourth wife. Ah yes, could be as simple as her not being pretty enough to be the “first lady” of the church. You know how the s’paths are about appearances.
What is the book you published? I found a handwritten family tree among my mother’s things in the handwriting of my grandmother but it was her family, not my grandfather’s. Sad that some of this information is forever lost.
Hi
Many thanks for the responses. Unfortunately I deleted it by accident and I just can’t write it again. But thanks for understanding.
Travis
I’m glad I made you happy. I like doing that.
Milo-what a gift you have in your grandson. I can’t wait for mine to start arriving. I’ve even got myself sorted. I think I will be hopefully a wee fat jolly granny.
NB
I was thinking of taking out all photos from the wedding album of me and family and put the rest face down. It meant something to me.
When I have that all done-I will let the kids choose all they want from the face down ones and then burn the rest.These will go into their individual memory box.
And Milo–Thanks. but I won’t be upset-it’s their dad and they have their own feelings and memories regarding him that have to be validated. But like you-they know who truly loves them.
Grand is so lucky to have you and I would be so jealous of you having him if I did not still have a young un at 14.
Skylar-your amazing. A crazy background and marriage made you-you. I have found it quite healing sorting through old photos. Perhaps if you gave it a bash you might find some meaning in your own memories.
Just a thought.
Thanks again for your support.
xxx
Milo,
Wow, that must have been quite a surprise. I think I’d pass on geneology too. As a matter of fact, I may just stop where I am. Best to focus on what lies ahead instead of the past.
Be well.
~New
New ~
That’s exactly how I felt. At the time I was about 55 and said if I lived all that time without knowing this stuff, why start now. LOL
So true, Milo!
I believe in miracles. They are always around us, but when you are with a spath, you truly can’t see these miracles.
For me, spath took so much of my positive energy and time and converted everything wrong every moment, that I didn’t my boys growing up without mom, right in front of my eyes. I was too focus making this guy happy who decided not to be pleased with anything.
So when he was gone, I felt so empty, like I was fired from a job, and suddenly don’t know what to do with my new developed to please a spath. Slowly I had to step up to became a mother again, when I lost 4 years of their life in the trap of spath.
And I asked for forgiveness from them, and suddenly I felt my 10 years old is acutally 30 years old, he got matured so fast. Now after working so hard for almost 3years, when there was discussion going among us, that difficult childhood makes you stronger, my younger son who is now 13 years old said, well than I will not be strong, I said why, and he said because I have an happy childhood. I almost cried when I heard, because I thought I damaged him for his life.
This was a true miracle. And if we can take care of our children even among all the difficulty we are facing internally, we are truly doing a lot better than when we were with spath….
Oh, my goodness Milo, and I THOUGHT MY FAMILY WAS SCREWED UP!!!!! I don’t blame you for not wanting to delve into such a family as that! WOW!!!! We must be KIN!!!! Oh, my goodness! Me and you and Hens! Wacked out families! I just saw your response today! Some how this thread got buried. LOL
Dear My heart,
I”m glad that your son has had a “happy childhood” and I hope it continues to be happy for him as he goes through the teenage years! Congratulations to you!
There is life after the psychopath! Just keep on living it, and learning and enjoying those sons!