Donna Anderson’s important latest post reminds me that one topic which will never be worn out is that of the psychopath’s lies and their impact on others.
This week I want to very briefly introduce yet another take on this inexhaustible topic. Everyone lies, but there’s something else at stake in the case of the psychopath’s lies.
To illustrate: you might say about any regular (non-psychopathic) person, “Things would be better if s/he was to lie less often. Her/his soul or psyche would be healthier as would her relationships.” That’s true. Now try this on for size and notice how wrong it seems: “Things would be better if the psychopath was to lie less often. His soul or psyche would be healthier as would his relationships.”
Weirdly, this is patently not the case. The psychopath will be just as sick/evil no matter how many or how few lies he tells. It’s not a quantitative but a qualitative matter.
It is commonly said that a defining characteristic of psychopaths is that they are pathological liars. This is right if you mean that they are profoundly dishonest and not to be trusted. It does not mean, though, that psychopaths lie a lot. They do lie a lot and those lies cause havoc. But as I hope my illustration above shows, lying less will not make them better people.
So, how does this work? The thing about psychopaths is that even their truths are lies! Or rather, whether or not they happen to be telling the truth or a lie at any particular moment is not what makes them psychopathic. What makes them psychopathic is that they use and destroy people; truth or lies are for them just so many weapons for pursuing their prey.
M.L. Gallagher said a lot when she wrote this:
He is the lie….
From hello to good-bye. I love you to I hate you. You’re beautiful to you’re ugly.
It was all a lie….When friends or my family ask, but what about this, or what about that, I tell them. It was all a lie. There was no truth in him.
If I spend my time trying to figure out fact from fiction, all I am doing is trying to prove I wasn’t so stupid. See, this was true. That’s why I fell in love with him.
Truth is. I fell in love with him because I believed his lie.
When I discovered the truth, I was so enmeshed in his lie, I couldn’t find the truth in me. And so I sank.
silver:
‘I hope we will all take a minute on this silent night and send love and healing to our sisters and brothers who are this night, this minute embroiled in the lies and snares of the disordered and send them out the hope that there is somewhere to go and there are people who understand. ‘
AMEN Sister, AMEN.
Yes, thank you silvermoon, for the beautiful sentiments.
Merry Christmas everyone!! 😀
twas the night before christmas and all through the house, nothing was stirring, not even a mouse….
oh wait! there’s a creak…it’s one_step and shabby Chic!
jingle bells, jingle bells,
one_step_at_a_time…
oh what fun… it is too ride
with tequila by your side!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BodXwAYeTfM
ho ho ho 😀
Here’s you a little Christmas cheer! To give you a smile!
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9798
Here’s some Christmas lights to make you laugh!
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9798
Here are some trees you’d never believe!
http://whitetrashrepairs.com/
Gotta love those peeps at Walmart!!!
The red overalls are a must have! 😀
Hey… that Christmas tree is over here in California!
Have a Merry Christmas! Thank you for helping me stay strong!
one, I wrote you a party jingle over here last night!
Oxy, did you get any snow for Christmas?
hey shabby – didn’t see it!
Thanks! 🙂
i took some of the money the ‘sperm donor’ gave me for xmas and had a couple of margarita’s last night – even asked for no salt on the second one! (omg, they put salt in the BOTTOM of the drink, who does that?)
No snow here for christmas but that’s fine with me! Gloomy day though and over cast and moist and cold but not bitter, just YUKKY!
I’m warm and toasty.
Would love a margarita, but without salt? Not sure! I’ve been a good girl but did fix myself a little drinkie-poo last night with Orange juice and vodka, and a little bit of Hot Damn (cinnamon liquor). I’m sure it has a name but I can’t remember what the name is.
Don’t go to bars in my rural county for two reasons, 1 is I had no designated driver, and 2, they only have two kinds of bars out here in the boonies. “Second degree” bars where they search you at the door and take away your guns and knives and “FIRST DEGREE BARS” where they search you and if you DON’T have a gun or a knife, THEY GIVE YOU ONE! LOL
There are some nice places in Little Rock with small bands and no bar fights, but that’s 60 miles away and not about to get out on the roads to get there (I think the average of drivers being drunk on a Friday/Saturday night is like about 15% of them and on a holiday, who the heck knows what the % is?) So I’ll just hang around here and once or twice a year fix myself a little drinkie poo in celebration of Christmas or New Years. Actually if the weather is cold enough will be having a big house party New Years with folks staying over, and putting up meat during the day and partying at night (if we have any energy left!)