Donna Anderson’s important latest post reminds me that one topic which will never be worn out is that of the psychopath’s lies and their impact on others.
This week I want to very briefly introduce yet another take on this inexhaustible topic. Everyone lies, but there’s something else at stake in the case of the psychopath’s lies.
To illustrate: you might say about any regular (non-psychopathic) person, “Things would be better if s/he was to lie less often. Her/his soul or psyche would be healthier as would her relationships.” That’s true. Now try this on for size and notice how wrong it seems: “Things would be better if the psychopath was to lie less often. His soul or psyche would be healthier as would his relationships.”
Weirdly, this is patently not the case. The psychopath will be just as sick/evil no matter how many or how few lies he tells. It’s not a quantitative but a qualitative matter.
It is commonly said that a defining characteristic of psychopaths is that they are pathological liars. This is right if you mean that they are profoundly dishonest and not to be trusted. It does not mean, though, that psychopaths lie a lot. They do lie a lot and those lies cause havoc. But as I hope my illustration above shows, lying less will not make them better people.
So, how does this work? The thing about psychopaths is that even their truths are lies! Or rather, whether or not they happen to be telling the truth or a lie at any particular moment is not what makes them psychopathic. What makes them psychopathic is that they use and destroy people; truth or lies are for them just so many weapons for pursuing their prey.
M.L. Gallagher said a lot when she wrote this:
He is the lie….
From hello to good-bye. I love you to I hate you. You’re beautiful to you’re ugly.
It was all a lie….When friends or my family ask, but what about this, or what about that, I tell them. It was all a lie. There was no truth in him.
If I spend my time trying to figure out fact from fiction, all I am doing is trying to prove I wasn’t so stupid. See, this was true. That’s why I fell in love with him.
Truth is. I fell in love with him because I believed his lie.
When I discovered the truth, I was so enmeshed in his lie, I couldn’t find the truth in me. And so I sank.
Erin, surviving instinct is very strong and they don’t leave us other option but “dropping them off at the pool” Tirarlos al retrete/water? Mandarlos a la mierda, i suppose? In children language Mandarlos al peo (pedo).
Eva…..Eventually our bodies reject foreign things…..so I guess I fought the infection for waaaayyyyy tooooo looong. And once I realized I was infected…..I went to that pool and decided SOMEONE was gonna go swimming and it wasn’t gonna be MOI!
The key to getting rid of them is the double flush and never look back.
I’ve gotta go to bed….I’m west coast and it’s late/early.
Glad your in good humor tonight…..and most of all safe from natural disasters!
Night~
XXOO
EB
It’s day here.
Night, Erin. Buenas noches.
Adios is the extent of my spanish……
Adios darlen~ Enjoy your day!
Thanks Erin.
You sleep well.
Si, tiene razon. Es “la” noche. Hablo mejor Espanol que lo escribo.
EB, Sometimes our spath’s have needed to be dropped off at the pool, twice or more…..depending on how many of us were carrying them around in our guts and our bowles, in our heads and our hearts….Yeah. Let’s all make a point of dropping them off at the pool…..and please, don’t forget to FLUSH.
We can all consider ourselves the tidy bowl man….floating around in a cute little boat, holding out a life preserver for each-other…..as we look into that toilet, where previously our spaths,floated, sullying our existance, we now have a clean, sterel, sparkling pot to piss in…life is good, today.
I can see I should have gotten to the computer earlier to keep you potty mouths in line! LOL Hee hee
I wish I could remember the whole quote about the satisfation you get from holding someone’s head under water in a calm peaceful pool, as you choke the living sheet out of them and the bubbles rise. Dang, it is frustrating not being able to remember nada.
Yesterday I was at the museum and one of the volunteers a guy named Al who is 70 and we were talking politics (agreeing) and we were both trying to think of someone’s name and we couldn’t for the life of us do it! Then I ran into a friend in Wendy’s (I ate the baked potato no salt) and went to introduce her to the friend I was with and WENT COMPLETELY BLANK!!!!! I’ve known this woman WELL since I was a toddler—couldn’t think of her name to save my life. Wanted to melt through the floor!!!!
Did find out yesterday though that one of the psychopathic guys I know who did federal prison for kiddie porn got picked up by the cops and questioned about a molestation…they didn’t apparently have enough evidence to hold him and arrest him then, but he apparently thought they would get it…so went home and blew his own brains out! The guy had been in our living history group and also worked for the state parks departments with KIDS when he was arrested. The parks department covered it up as much as possible (and as a result when he got out of prison he went to work for the state museum working with—yep, KIDS!) That is until old Oxy mounted her Fat Ass and contacted the director of the museum and got him fired, and also got him tossed out of our living history group although the P/N president for life of our group said “well he paid his debt to society”—-thank goodness the women on the board of directors supported me and he got tossed.
As most of you know I have a particular hard on for child molesters or anything I think there’s a good chance is one….and I firmly believe (rightly or wrongly) that anyone who engages in looking at and buying this stuff HAS EITHER TOUCHED A KID OR PLANS TO….so, no quarter.
After he got fired from the museum, he went to work for 4-H and other kid type organizations which surprised me that they didn’t do any back ground checks on employees, but they ALSO got copies of his PUBLIC INFORMATION CONVICTION RECORDS and he lost his job there too. His wife, who taught school, stayed with Him. I am not judging her, she may also be a victim….trauma bonded to him, etc. BUT I figured her principal and superintendant needed to know her husband was a CRIMINAL ex convict convicted for kiddie porn. She is no longer teaching school.
I also saw her yesterday, she now works for the museum, and she looks 100 years old…I didn’t recognize her at first. I can only imagine the stress that woman has been under….no matter what her circumstances are, whether she is a co-abuser with him, or whether she is a trauma bonded victim. I can’t judge that, but I can say the woman does not look well at all. I have no doubt that her life is hell. I also have no doubt that her “late husband” was a psychopath who did not want to spend the rest of his life in a state prison for child molestation and took the “easy way” out by blowing his own brains out. Psychopaths who are trapped sometimes do this, and in his case I don’t have any doubt he thought he didn’t want to go to prison for a reason. Again, though, just my OPINION ABOUT THIS GUY, that he was a “psychopath on one side some of the time” (referring to the story about the sheep and the logic exercise comments on another thread). LOL
Oxy-wow-I am so glad you got that guy fired. I have that same issue with child molesters and pedophiles and I SO agree with what you said about if they are looking at that stuff, they have either touched a child or they’re planning to. I actually saw en episode of SVU about that. I want to work in Sex Crimes and I cannot believe that this guy keeps getting hired to work near children. This whole bit about him “paying his debt to society” is BIG TIME BS! These people CANNOT be cured. In Louisiana they are real tough on child molesters-they can easily be given the death penalty and once they get to Angola to serve their time, their life becomes a living HELL because you DO NOT wanna be in Angola on that charge-if you know what I mean. We just had a police officer who went down for raping the 13 year old daughter of one of his fellow officers who was a single mom. This happened several years ago and he just had his day in court a few days ago and they found him guilty. This makes me SO much more nauseated because as police they took an oath to PROTECT AND SERVE and it just makes me so ANGRY that some of these guys are paying lip service to the oath that they took. Some many guys are being fired, investigated, and suspended for different kinds of malfeasance. My old boss said that next year I shouldn’t have any issues with getting my job back because they will have plenty of openings.
Oxy, I had a blank moment like that once when I was introducing a friend, really freaked me out!!
Thank God you were vigilant getting the molester fired from those jobs, I don’t believe
they ever change… “served his debt to society” is BS, left the child damaged for life is more like it.
nolarn, the Josh Groban concert sounds fabulous! Glad you got out and had some fun,
even though you did cry… that’s good too! Get out that pent up emotion!