Donna Anderson’s important latest post reminds me that one topic which will never be worn out is that of the psychopath’s lies and their impact on others.
This week I want to very briefly introduce yet another take on this inexhaustible topic. Everyone lies, but there’s something else at stake in the case of the psychopath’s lies.
To illustrate: you might say about any regular (non-psychopathic) person, “Things would be better if s/he was to lie less often. Her/his soul or psyche would be healthier as would her relationships.” That’s true. Now try this on for size and notice how wrong it seems: “Things would be better if the psychopath was to lie less often. His soul or psyche would be healthier as would his relationships.”
Weirdly, this is patently not the case. The psychopath will be just as sick/evil no matter how many or how few lies he tells. It’s not a quantitative but a qualitative matter.
It is commonly said that a defining characteristic of psychopaths is that they are pathological liars. This is right if you mean that they are profoundly dishonest and not to be trusted. It does not mean, though, that psychopaths lie a lot. They do lie a lot and those lies cause havoc. But as I hope my illustration above shows, lying less will not make them better people.
So, how does this work? The thing about psychopaths is that even their truths are lies! Or rather, whether or not they happen to be telling the truth or a lie at any particular moment is not what makes them psychopathic. What makes them psychopathic is that they use and destroy people; truth or lies are for them just so many weapons for pursuing their prey.
M.L. Gallagher said a lot when she wrote this:
He is the lie….
From hello to good-bye. I love you to I hate you. You’re beautiful to you’re ugly.
It was all a lie….When friends or my family ask, but what about this, or what about that, I tell them. It was all a lie. There was no truth in him.
If I spend my time trying to figure out fact from fiction, all I am doing is trying to prove I wasn’t so stupid. See, this was true. That’s why I fell in love with him.
Truth is. I fell in love with him because I believed his lie.
When I discovered the truth, I was so enmeshed in his lie, I couldn’t find the truth in me. And so I sank.
Well summed up in your post above at 9:48 Kim….either way, you are right, he is a POS. I feel for her and I hope she finds peace and his kids find peace as well.
Arnie is the terminator and his fan base is mostly male, this will not hurt his movie career at all, sadly it will prolly help it in todays sic society. His political career is over, but he was only governor because of his connection with the kennedy name. Either way he wont have to apply for food stamps. He’s old and washed up anywho. And what about his steroid use? He’s just one of many hollywood trash.
Hi Hens. I had to put ear-drops in Pinky-doodle’s mite infested ears last night. 🙁 He didn’t like it much, and it seemed to make it worse, at first. But I gave him an extra special can of kitty-kitty food, so he forgave me. 🙂
How are the dancing weiners? The moon is full.
Henry, I agree with your assessment…his “fan base” for movies has an IQ equal to their shoe size so this will make him more “manly” to that group of idijuts.
As far as I am concerned he and those like him are just rich versions of “po’white trash” they are TRASH.
Can’t wait to post this. Yes, the story of the moment, Dominique Strauss-Kahn being led to Riker’s Island in handcuffs! And look who is defending him — Bernard-Henri Levy. Of course he’s “charming and seductive,” but no “monster!” Of course! Mais Oui! Mon petite bebe! Mon chere!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/18/bernard-henri-levy-defends-dominique-strauss-kahn
I’m smelling spath all over this guy.
Spathologie, a la Francais.
Hi Kimmer’s – I was cleaning out the barn and found a can of cat food, been there over three years, whatshisbutt kept the cat food out there. I had a mini anxiety attack and threw it away. Sorry pinky snoodle has ear mite’s. The wieners are good, have to check em for ticks, they are used to it and just roll over for their inspection. Cricket ran off “again’ for about two hours the other day, so I had a huge anxiety attack, so she is grounded and pouting cause she has to stay inside the fence. She always comes back from her little adventures but I cant afford another snake bite right now, and I saw a coyote down the road the other day, and I know if cricket saw it she would go try to kick it’s ass, she is about 9 pounds of terror…good to see ya Kims – morning Ox…
Hens,
Just wanted your opinion. I am getting my property ready for my new guy. Getting out and loose is a big worry for me, not just snakes and gators but teen drivers are everywhere. Border collies are known for agility, climbing fences is not a problem for them.
I had a well regarded dog trainer recommend a type of electric fence. It’s buried in the dirt, and when the dog tries to go too far, zap. Supposedly takes only a few zaps and the dog will respect the boundry. Sounds to me like what we used to do cows, a little bite from an electric fence taught them to respect the wire, and from then on, just a string could contain a whole herd.
Is a little pain in the beginning better than the consequence to escape? Is there a better solution for a dog? I like the thought of him being able to use the yard as he likes (I have a doggie door) and yet it SOUNDS more effective than huge high fences.
What do you think of this type of fence guard??
Morning Hens,
Down in my back this morning and yesterday, think I did too much gardening and pulled something. Wearing one of those back brace thingies and being very very careful how I move. Not doing nuttin today….
Got to go to town tomorrow and run a bunch of errands, but then am going to come back home instead of go to Little Rock with son D which I wouldn’t get home til midnight, don’t want to tax my back with that much car riding and all that….
We are looking at building a fraidy hole (tornado shelter) he grew up mostly in Kansas and wasn’t too afraid of them, cause up there you can watch them across the plains for tens of miles without being actually near them, not here…so we picked out a spot to put one behind the house and are going to build it ourselves, we have almost all the needed stuff to do it with and doing it ourselves would allow a bigger one and a cheaper one by several thousand dollars. Can also use it for a “root cellar” to store stuff in too in the summer and winter time both.
Duckies, kitties and ducks and eggs are all doing well….the little duckies are up to eating the regular laying pellets (high protein, no antibiotics) now and growing like weeds….kitties love their new play area but want out when they see you looking in…we take them out and handle them several times per day so they will stay social, but don’t want them running loose yet and become coyote food.
Yea, Kimmers, Ear mites can be a big problem—and the ticks thing too. Hens, I got some all natural tick repellant and I spray it on the dog before he goes outside each day and it helps keep them from getting on him. I put that stuff on his skin that kills ticks that bite him and fleas and flea eggs and all that as well, but they were still getting ON him and then getting on ME—so I am trying to keep him from getting them on his hair to bring them inside the house and on to my bed. I found 4 on me the other day. I also cover myself with the repellant as well. AFter a bout of rocky mountain spotted fever two years in a row, I DO NOT WANT THAT AGAIN or one of the other tick fevers that they spread. If you can keep them off you, by finding them within the first 24 hours they set down, chances of infection are greatly diminished for all the fevers. It is when thye get on you and are there 2-3 days before you find them that the infection risk is greatly increased, so I do a tick check morning and night with mirrors and all that. Some are so tiny though that they are hard to spot so it has to be done carefully and I use a magnifying mirror as well.
Doggies can get tick fevers from the ticks too that can kill them as well.
SISTERSISTER—yea, I agree with you about the French spath, he is such a scum bucket—I hope they throw the book at him. I am glad they did not give him bond….keep his sorry arse in solitary.
Sorry your back hurts, Oxy.
I have raised and trained collies for years and I keep them behind fences 6 ft high…if you start them out behind a fence they think of it as “natural” and I’ve never had any problem with them climbing out. I also crate trained the dogs as well for riding in the back of the truck or for being in the house. Kept down the chewing when they were pups and as it was started at 5-6 weeks they thought it was “natural” and never complained.
I also taught my dogs to “go inside” their pens and kennels with saying that when they were pups, and when I would open the gate I would hold them back with my foot and then say “outside” and let them come out, so by the time they were 3-4 months old, I could tell them “inside” from anywhere and they would go get into their pen, and if I opened the gate they would NOT come out until I said “outside’ they would sit there “dancing” in a sitting position ready to come out but until I said the MAGIC WORD “outside’ they would NOT come out.
When I trained them to get into the back of the truck into a kennel I would say “load up”—- one dog I had hated to get into a vehicle because he got so car sick—It was like trying to stuff a cat in a sack to get him to load because he knew he would get sick…so I moved his goats to the other end of the farm and after a few trips in the truck to go work goats, he loved working so much more than he dreaded getting car sick he would jump up into the kennel on the back of the truck without any problem. He eventually got over the car sick when he was about a year and a half old.
I have never used the electric buried fences (Invisible fences) and would never trust my dog to one. I know people who use shock collars on collies and it seems to me collies don’t understand why they are being shocked. I also never smack a collie, but growl at them, or if they are really resistant, will shake them by the ruff, or even if very very resistant will bite them on the ear, just like their mother weaned them….that they don’t hold a grudge against and seem to know that it is the way the alpha dog (me) should discipline them.
I was shown this way by an old dog trainer who has trained some of the best collies in the area for 50+ years.