Donna Anderson’s important latest post reminds me that one topic which will never be worn out is that of the psychopath’s lies and their impact on others.
This week I want to very briefly introduce yet another take on this inexhaustible topic. Everyone lies, but there’s something else at stake in the case of the psychopath’s lies.
To illustrate: you might say about any regular (non-psychopathic) person, “Things would be better if s/he was to lie less often. Her/his soul or psyche would be healthier as would her relationships.” That’s true. Now try this on for size and notice how wrong it seems: “Things would be better if the psychopath was to lie less often. His soul or psyche would be healthier as would his relationships.”
Weirdly, this is patently not the case. The psychopath will be just as sick/evil no matter how many or how few lies he tells. It’s not a quantitative but a qualitative matter.
It is commonly said that a defining characteristic of psychopaths is that they are pathological liars. This is right if you mean that they are profoundly dishonest and not to be trusted. It does not mean, though, that psychopaths lie a lot. They do lie a lot and those lies cause havoc. But as I hope my illustration above shows, lying less will not make them better people.
So, how does this work? The thing about psychopaths is that even their truths are lies! Or rather, whether or not they happen to be telling the truth or a lie at any particular moment is not what makes them psychopathic. What makes them psychopathic is that they use and destroy people; truth or lies are for them just so many weapons for pursuing their prey.
M.L. Gallagher said a lot when she wrote this:
He is the lie….
From hello to good-bye. I love you to I hate you. You’re beautiful to you’re ugly.
It was all a lie….When friends or my family ask, but what about this, or what about that, I tell them. It was all a lie. There was no truth in him.
If I spend my time trying to figure out fact from fiction, all I am doing is trying to prove I wasn’t so stupid. See, this was true. That’s why I fell in love with him.
Truth is. I fell in love with him because I believed his lie.
When I discovered the truth, I was so enmeshed in his lie, I couldn’t find the truth in me. And so I sank.
It’s normal, hens. You should cry. But don’t eat cheese today, just in case..
Hens i think it does. Try to get out if you can. Treat yourself to some ice cream or a pedicure. Lots of love….Far
:0 but i luv cheese
Hey Eva…i always crack myself up thinking about your spath and his dog eyes. Lol
If your eyes turn yellow…you know is because of the combination of screaming and eating cheese.
Hens,
yes, lonliness does cause anxiety. If we need stimulation but aren’t getting it, it makes us anxious.
You can go out and find stimulation or you can practice meditation and learn to find stillness and peace.
Either one works. Exercise helps. So does blogging. We’re here for you.
Hens-I luv u to death buddy and loneliness does cause anxiety cuz I am there a lot of the time. BTW, according to my time zone it’s 6 minutes til the end of the world. I guess we’re going to still be here because the east coast people seem to be OK.
Far, knowing those eyes of hunting dog i knew there was something more than artistic motivations in those horrible pics of face almost skull with red and yellow eyes.
What the hell have these people in their head when they arrange those ugly things, i wonder. He must have been depressed maybe. Spain won the mundial LOL and i had already abandon him.
Still i remember those dog eyes…They had something attractive.
thanx sky – i want to go out tonite and hopefully meet someone but even the thought makes me anxious – i feel like i look so old but inside i am young – i am just a self employed hick, high school education is all, i feel so inadequate, my shyness comes off as awkward and unaproachable – i dont have a 401k or a exciting career – i am so comfortable with being a homebody I am boring – i am my worse enemy i know….beside my one son i employers i have no social life.. a few female friends that think they can make me str8…i am just such a fricken misfit – old white haired grandpa that live in a mobile home out in the sticks..i am just so not a catch for anyone…srry
thanks erin72 gosh guess that means i have to make my truck pymt. after all…darn. 6:03 here