Donna Anderson’s important latest post reminds me that one topic which will never be worn out is that of the psychopath’s lies and their impact on others.
This week I want to very briefly introduce yet another take on this inexhaustible topic. Everyone lies, but there’s something else at stake in the case of the psychopath’s lies.
To illustrate: you might say about any regular (non-psychopathic) person, “Things would be better if s/he was to lie less often. Her/his soul or psyche would be healthier as would her relationships.” That’s true. Now try this on for size and notice how wrong it seems: “Things would be better if the psychopath was to lie less often. His soul or psyche would be healthier as would his relationships.”
Weirdly, this is patently not the case. The psychopath will be just as sick/evil no matter how many or how few lies he tells. It’s not a quantitative but a qualitative matter.
It is commonly said that a defining characteristic of psychopaths is that they are pathological liars. This is right if you mean that they are profoundly dishonest and not to be trusted. It does not mean, though, that psychopaths lie a lot. They do lie a lot and those lies cause havoc. But as I hope my illustration above shows, lying less will not make them better people.
So, how does this work? The thing about psychopaths is that even their truths are lies! Or rather, whether or not they happen to be telling the truth or a lie at any particular moment is not what makes them psychopathic. What makes them psychopathic is that they use and destroy people; truth or lies are for them just so many weapons for pursuing their prey.
M.L. Gallagher said a lot when she wrote this:
He is the lie….
From hello to good-bye. I love you to I hate you. You’re beautiful to you’re ugly.
It was all a lie….When friends or my family ask, but what about this, or what about that, I tell them. It was all a lie. There was no truth in him.
If I spend my time trying to figure out fact from fiction, all I am doing is trying to prove I wasn’t so stupid. See, this was true. That’s why I fell in love with him.
Truth is. I fell in love with him because I believed his lie.
When I discovered the truth, I was so enmeshed in his lie, I couldn’t find the truth in me. And so I sank.
SuperChic ~ I LOVE that back-spath, trashing his $900 traffic ticket! Sounds like that one’s going to JAIL roflmao!!!!
TOWANDA to you!!
H2H
Yeah, that one felt good!
After he devalued and discarded me he told his sister that
I was his BFF and he was going to continue to see me
even though he moved back in with his ex because she said he could
have a “free” room. Stupid SOB/POS.
Super Chic:
Yeah, Ive been writing “this person does not live at this address” on the mail. I havent really gotten too much since he’s been gone…which I find interesting. I DID, however, get the Comcast bill and then a week later, I got two bills in his name, which LOOKED like they *MIGHT* have been from collections. One was from the government. Im not sure what that’s all about, however, I do believe in KARMA…
Let us not forget that HE left ME without having paid ONE SINGLE BILL when he was there…to the tune of about 800.00. I have no sympathy…
“Hell fire, burn the matches…*&^% a duck, see what hatches” (Steven Tyler)
BBWWHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And what can i do concerning my decapitation and burglary of body for sissie spathological reasons?
Dear R-babe,
YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! LOL ROTFLMAO
Tell Comcast that your “renter” who had the service installed, left without turning it off and that YOU are NOT responsible for paying for ANY of the bill as it was HIS service because YOU could NOT cancel a service that was in HIS NAME even though it was in your house. (Have you returned their equipment?) LOL
What a stoooooopid guy! Idijut!
Feeling a little teary today. I am OK, but found a video of spath’s son where he won a dance contest at his church youth group (he’s 13…such a vulnerable age). How precious. Just made me teary that’s all and I just wanted to share. I am OK 🙂
Robx – us empaths ARE like phones. We like to be held and talked to, but if spath presses the wrong button he/she WILL be disconnected!
Dear eb92044,
That sort of thing can sort of tug at our heart strings for sure….and all your tears prove is that you have a caring heart and that you know this kid is in for a hard ride with a P for a father. Poor kid!
CANDY!!!! I love it!!!! “us empaths ARE like phones. We like to be held and talked to, but if spath presses the wrong button he/she WILL be disconnected! ” I would add PERMANENTLY DISCONNECTED! LOL ROTFLMAO
Ox Drover:
Yep, that’s exactly why I had tears…knowing what this poor, innocent kid is going to have to deal with and already has.
Towanda! Today is a good day! Spath is crap…