It has been interesting to listen to the pundits trying to explain why someone would declare war on those in a theater and open fire. One said, “most of the time these acts are not committed by sociopaths” and asserted that most of the shooters are “depressed.” Many other pundits have said the shooter is obviously without conscience and have described him as “a psychopath.”
I bring up these issues because of another story that received very little coverage because it was eclipsed by the horrific events in Colorado. Today I would like to honor the memory of Amara, Sophie and Cecilia, three little ones whose only crime was having a monster as a father.
Since this story has not received much coverage, and there is very little information available about how the father functioned and his personality style, I cannot tell you his score on the psychopathy test. We do know that his ex-wife, the girls’ mother, did have concerns about his mental state and behavior and that he had previously harmed one of the girls. The divorce was final only 6 months ago.
According to news reports, father phoned mother asking to see the girls, she consented. The girls were at home with a babysitter who said that when father got there the girls rushed to greet him and showed excitement to see him. That was the last time she saw them alive.
After receiving the warm loving greeting the father reportedly slit their throats, tucked them in bed and sent the mother a text telling her that she could come home because the girls were dead.
The father’s lawyer said father was depressed and had been treated for depression. Perhaps he and the Colorado shooter had the same psychiatrist, or perhaps these psychiatrists were from the same training program as that pundit?
I have been studying the accounts of adults whose parents score high on the Hare psychopathy test. The majority say that although they might have suspected their parent was deviant they still tried to solicit love from that parent. Obviously a child’s exuberance should not be used as an indication that there is a healthy parent child relationship.
I wonder if the mother had been told by those around her and family court officers that she should not interfere with the father’s access to the girls? or that she should be careful not to say anything derogatory about him? If the custodial parent is not allowed to look after the safety of the children then tragedies like this will continue to happen because I know from firsthand experience that many family court judges do not care. The system accepts the deaths and abuse of children as collateral damage in their battle to support the sick ideology that every child is better off with a relationship with both their parents. They are unable to identify these abusers.
Links to accounts of the story:
http://www.grandforksherald.com/event/article/id/241523/group/homepage/
http://www.thenorthwestern.com/viewart/20120725/OSH0101/307250166/Aaron-Schaffhausen-stand-trial-death-three-daughters-Two-Rivers-Wisconsin
Dr. Leedom – I was horrified when I saw the news accounts of this incident. Your questions are legitimate – I wonder what the mother was told. The courts need to be educated.
Liane, I feel that there is change desperately needed in the psych communities as well as the legal systems.
Because there is so much status riding on erroneous opnions and scores, the truths of spathy/ppathy are obliterated, on all levels. These beautiful and fragile human beings were slaughtered like sheep, and I cannot describe my horror for those children and the mother who had to bury them.
Liane, thans for bringing this article to our attention, as sad as it is. I sit here with tears running down my face and I think about how many children suffer at the hands of a psychopathic parent, though maybe not to this extent.
I too sought approval from my psychopathic father, who totally betrayed me, though he didn’t kill my body, just my spirit. Just my trust. Even as short a time ago as 5 years I sought approval from a controlling mother. It is natural for a child or an adult child, to seek approval from a parent. I feel like an orphan now with my wonderful step father dead, and my egg donor NC, even though I’m 65 years old. I don’t really think we ever quit wanting approval from a parent even if they are abusive.
When you published the story of Dr. Amy Castillo, and the loss of her children several years ago, I went for days but then as I read the news reports I saw that there were other parents like her husband that murdered their children to get back at the nurturiing parent in order to punish them. Unfortunately it is NOT as “rare” as we might think it is if we focus on seeing these articles which usually don’t make national headlines or “kick up” as much “fuss” and I think they should.
The articles about Amy Castillo’s children, and the article about Baby Gabriel Johnson, are here on LoveFraud. Parents who use children to punish the nurturing parent. The ultimate “fark you”
We have heard too many of these stories recently and this just cannot continue to go on at the current rate. This is a democracy which implies every human being has a say in the governance of this country and by extension in the law. I want to join and advocacy group. Who knows any good groups to point me to?
And yes the family court judges just dont care. The kids dont belong to them. We have been thought that emotions are bad and we should suppress them in the interest of rationality and this kind of thinking has created zombies who have no feelings for the sufferings of others. I remember the guy who killed his children in WA state. Everything indicated a seriously disturbed man and he was even the prime suspect in the disappearance of his wife but he was awarded supervised visits.
Even supervised visits are wrong, the burden of the cost is too high for the parties to bear which results in minimal to no supervision.
My heart has bled too many times, this is just not right… the implied message to all women is “if you make the mistake of having kids with a monster then you have to live with the consequences… too bad for you… get it right next time dummy!”
Jesus, He had previously harmed one of the girls!
What was she thinking? Now this poor Mother faces a lifetime of regret……over a stupid decision to allow him to see the children on their own because she didn’t want to see him!!
He took advantage of the situation. He knew exactly what he was doing. Ox, couldnt have said it better….”the ultimate fark you”
What a b@.......$t^*d.
A teacher I knew used to say about her colleagues, “There’s a different standard for the child in the room as compared to the child of their womb.”
That saying applies more to the family court and perhaps DCF than it does to teachers and school administrators.
Liane…..yes, it certainly does apply to those agencies. What is it, then? Blinders on, or what? How is it that people just simply do not hear (listen to) the concerns of a parent with regard to the welfare of their children?
I remember attempting to speak with an adult social services worker about the spath son’s military frauds and the well-being of my youngest son who was living with him, at that time. The spath son is diagnosed Borderline Personality Cluster B, and fits every criteria of socipathy. Yet, my concerns were ignored and I was reamed out by this worker as being the cause for the spath son’s BPD and that I was a “bad parent” because I hadn’t left the abusive marriage sooner.
It’s simply incredible. And, the whole system is hopelessly broken, it seems.
Those poor beautiful children were slaughtered and are gone, now. And, the mother has to wake up, each day, and figure out how to “live” with the horrific tragedy and fight self-blame for the rest of her life. I cannot imagine this situation, at all, in my wildest nightmares.
Not sure I agree with the Teacher’s description of her colleague’s attitudes to children.
Who is to blame?
Aaron Schaffhausen.
If he had harmed one of the girls, as the newspaper article stated, how come child protection weren’t alerted and why did the Mother allow him unsupervised access?
Strongawoman, I can understand the root of your questions. Having tried to deal with the “proper” agencies, law enforcement, and the Courts, I have to say that my experiences were profound in that all of these agencies and branches exist, but not one of them works together, on any level.
The Courts hear domestic cases, sometimes almost 100 in a day, with the same complaints, the same scenarios, the same accusations, and so forth. As sad as it is true, Judges are not there to sympathize with anyone. They are charged with delivering decisions based strictly upon “fact.” And, as we all know, spaths have an uncanny ability and talent to distort and fabricate them.
Child protective agencies in an average city of 60,000 residents face approximately 600 cases each month that they need to investigate. The case workers are tired, frustrated, disillusioned, and burned out. After a year of paperwork, courtroom testimonies, official reports, and recommendations that are typically ignored, they lose any belief that their intentions could cause positive change. They come to detest their jobs, their cases, and everyone associated with their work.
Law Enforcement isn’t so much of a joke as a breeding ground of sociopathy, itself. This is not to suggest that all people in Law Enforcement are sociopaths – this is not what I mean to convey. But, there is a pervasive code of silence within the ranks of Law Enforcement that allows disdain, mistreatment, misconduct, and very, very bad behaviors to run rampant. There are, absolutely, some very dedicated men and women in Law Enforcement, but even those dedicated members face an uphill climb in all scenarios because of stringent rules and guidelines for procedures, evidence collection, reports, etc.
A custodial parent who is trying to protect their child(ren) from their ex-spouse or sociopathic parent often comes off looking like a raving lunatic by all parties involved that should be working for the benefits of the children. Nothing that the non-spath parent says or does results in any positive action. The Courts hold that even bad parents have “rights.” Law Enforcement loathes domestic or family calls. And, child protective agencies have about 3 minutes to spare for each case.
That the mother allowed unsupervised access to the children may simply have been her attempt to “keep the peace,” and believe that the father was finally stepping up to the plate. She could also have been so tired, depressed, desperate, and beaten down by the systems, herself, that she believed that she didn’t have legal options to prevent the father’s visitation.
Certainly, the murderer of the children is utlimately to blame, but these agencies and courts were created to “protect” and “serve.” They are doing neither. Protection is simply a word that can be found in the dictionary. There is no protection, truly, if we consider it. And, “service” to the public? Uh…..no.
As an aside, I had a house and a neighbor moved in, next door. This new neighbor was an ex-convict and openly sold drugs in broad daylight, 200 yards from a school, and there was a conga-line of cars each Tuesday lined up around the block to pick up their drugs. This man would stand on his front porch and not even attempt to be sly about exchanging drugs for money, all in front of his 4-year-old son, and 2-year-old daughter.
Across the street, not 40 yards from the front porch where these open-air, farmer’s marketesque deals were taking place, lived a police officer. And, nothing – not one thing – was ever done to stop this.
I often heard domestic violence ocurring, next door, as this ex-convict bounced his “baby-mama” from wall to wall with the children screaming in terror.
So, my personal view is that all of the agencies and courts exist in a mock attempt to represent “order” and “safety” to the public. But, when it comes to actual proactive steps and decisions, it’s rarely a positive and “just” result.
JMHO….Brightest blessings