Sociopathy, many experts agree, is a deficits disorder.
The sociopath, in this view, is missing something—things like empathy, remorse, and basic respect for the boundaries of others.
When you think of a deficit—something missing—you don’t necessarily think dire consequences.
You may think, instead, things like less”¦incomplete”¦limited.
For instance, the idea of intellectual deficit might spark the association, mental retardation.
Instead of invoking fear, this tends to elicit our understanding, even empathy. The mentally retarded individual is missing something that most of us have—a normal intellectual capacity. You think, this is unfortunate, for that person.
When you think of kids with attentional deficits, you’re likely to bring some extra patience toward the challenges their condition presents. Your accomodation is based on recognizing their behaviors as originating in a deficit.
When dealing with the Asperger’s Syndrome population, you understand their social inaptitude as arising from a neurologic difference. And so in responding to the Asperger individual’s peculiarities, you allow that he or she, on a social level, is operating with less than a full deck.
In general, when speaking of disorders of deficits, we tend, or at least try, not to take the consequences arising from the disorder personally. We recognize the deficit as something the person doesn’t ask for and, at best, struggles to control.
This isn’t to deny, or minimize, the impact of the individual’s difficult behaviors. But in locating that impact in a deficit, we can potentially experience it as less personally injurious.
Sociopathy, however, presents an interesting challenge in this regard. Research increasingly implicates brain differences in sociopaths. Sociopaths, we are learning, fail to experience and process certain emotions like nonsociopaths. Their capacity to learn from aversive consequences appears to be compromised. And they show evidence of certain enduring forms of attentional pathology, involving defective inhibitory and impulse control.
The sociopath, in a word, appears to be a psychologically handicapped individual.
Yet it’s hard to empathize with the sociopath, who himself lacks empathy. And how not to personalize his actions—actions that can cause so much personal pain? And how not to personalize that pain, even if it results from the sociopath’s deficits?
It brings to mind the concept of processing a vicious dog attack. The dog is vicious. It attacks you. It knows it is attacking you. We can even imagine that it knows, on a primitive level, that it is wounding you. The dog needs to be leashed, kept away from others. Improperly secured, it sees you walking down the street, primitively registering your vulnerability. And then it attacks, remorselessly.
While it’s true that we can ascribe to sociopaths (and not dogs) a capacity to evaluate their prey and plot their means of attack, we run the risk, I think, of giving the sociopath too much credit.
After all, if the sociopath’s deficits destine him to interpersonal exploitation, does his exploitation become personal simply by virtue of his capacity to plot it?
Sure, the vicious dog, unlike the sociopath, may lack calculation and plotting skills. But for all intents and purposes, unless locked-up, both will inevitably attack and/or violate. The vicious dog, if it doesn’t attack you, will attack someone else. And if you are lucky enough to escape the sociopath’s transgressions, someone else won’t be.
From this perspective, the sociopath’s deficits will take forms of interpersonal exploitation just as surely as the child with ADHD can be expected to obnoxiously disrupt others, heedless of their boundaries.
From this angle, it’s possible to construe the sociopath’s aggression as tantamount to a hurricane’s damaging your house. The wreckage may be great, and traumatic; but it is the wreckage, ultimately, of an irrepressibly violent, impersonal force.
Arguably, this defines the sociopath: an irrepressibly [interpersonally] violent, impersonal force.
We hope, through our awareness, prudence, and luck, never to suffer its destructiveness. But if less lucky, we can remind ourselves that the sociopath, in the final analysis, is about as pointless, worthless, and arbitrary as a natural disaster.
(My use of “he” in this article was for consistency’s sake, not to suggest that men have a patent on sociopathy. This article is copyrighted (c) 2008 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
PS Wini,
I am annoying you, aren’t I? I apologize. To make up for my annoying behavior, I won’t post another word on this topic. You can have the last word!
In Christ,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth: I can’t answer everything you wrote in one sitting without thinking about it fully.
All I know is that if you do the work, you learn the lessons needed to do that particular work. You then gained confidence and wisdom of how to do said work to move on to the next set of instructions to do the new work and learn the new lessons.
Step by righteous step up the ladder we go (old school of how our country once was).
But, not so in today’s society for the last 40-50 years … it’s lying, scheming, conniving that has been applauded and who cares that the idiots who did this didn’t learn a thing to be in the positions they held. They looked good, they earned a high salary, their houses are bigger, their cars, boats, planes are nicer. Yet, what do any of these folks learn as they scurried up the ladder … they learned how to smoke screen if anyone figures them out, they learned how to ax those that were competent in their organization so as not to be out shined and shown to everyone that they don’t do anything but cause chaos to flourish..they learn to continue to fight to kill the livlyhoods of anyone close to them … still not producing, not being creative, not moving the company forward, not being beneficial in any way, shape or form to the company except for their own selfish greed of what that company can do for them.
And everyone is shocked over the 700 plus trillion dollar bailouts for the banking industry and the car industry and then what other big egos companies are next?
I say, fire those idiot big ego CEOs or demote them to the bottom wrung of the corporations so they can keep a job and learn each level of the corporation from the bottom up step by step (like our forefathers did). Promote from within those individuals that are creative and were kept down in their careers, get rid of the huge salaries and perks as the carrots to hold in front of greedy people’s faces … just give the real workers in those companies a chance to take the lead and get their companies out of the mess that the big egos with their greed got them into the dumps.
The real righteous folks in those companies can make a comeback … just give the real people the chance to do their stuff.
Peace.
Elizabeth Conley: You aren’t annoying me. I love a good debate … keeps my mental juices flowing.
Peace … you can write anything you want, I love reading it. It’s called putting all the thoughts into the basket and trying each to see what works.
Good. I think you’re really cool. I’d be crushed if I annoyed you so badly you shunned me in frustration. I’ve gotta go check my little knuckle heads’ work now. They’ve been on their own program quite a bit today. That can be both good and bad!
… and like you, I coulda cheerfully drawn and quartered some of those Psychopathic CEOs during the banking “crisis”. Pulease!!! I don’t know where to start!
Elizabeth Conley: Yup, doing the work and learning the lessons is reward in itself. Leave the carrots to the rabbits in the world (LOL).
We can make them T-shirts with the big lettering of F-O-O-L-S and send them so they can sell them curb side to make a living.
Unbelievable … that so many people believe in the it’s so shiny, it’s so pretty, it’s so handsome … instead of plain old common sense rule of thumb.
Funny, I was just send a joke about the obituary of Common Sense the other day … if I find it, I’ll will share it with LF bloggers … makes you open your eyes.
Peace. I’m outta here.
I still have it
Most Golden Retrievers arnt paddling around the pond on Nuclear Aircraft Carriers , And BOOMERS ( nuclear trident subs ) . USA has both a Big Mouth and a BIGGER Stick ! LOVE JJ
how do we know that they don’t change? i can’t help but feel that my ex is being really nice to his new, young, beautiful, stylish, rich, pregnant (all the things that i wasn’t to him) girlfriend.
why would he be mean to her? she’s everything he was wanting, regardless of our 20 yr history.
Dear LIG,
Sugar, he will be nice to her FOR A WHILE, but then she will some way “disappoint” him and he will start to see she isn’t the perfect person for him, and he will go out and seek another….they don’t change. It is always the same, “idolize, devalue and discard” just like a dance, step one, twirl, step two, twirl and step three.
As far as your “I can’t help but believe that…..” YOU CAN HELP BUT BELIEVE THAT, because it is not true…BELIEVE THE TRUTH INSTEAD OF THE FICTION THAT HE WILL HAVE A “HAPPY EVER AFTER” WITH HER, BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT HAVE A “HAPPY EVER AFTER” ANY MORE THAN HE DID WITH YOU. IT ISN’T IN THE P’S ABILITY TO HAVE A HAPPY EVER AFTER WITH ANYONE.
Dear Elizabeth, I love your posting and I agree with you about most things. which means I think you are REALLY SMART! LOL
Most people in this world, in one way or another, I think, “look out for number one”—to one extent or another, the Ps just take that to a new level, and we (victims) don’t take it to enough of a level. There needs to be a balance of being “helpful” to our fellow men and taking care of ourselves. Unfortunately the BALANCE is skewed in the Ps to the point that they actually enjoy producing suffering and the balance in us is the other way, we enjoy giving til it hurts, hoping for a return of love, which from them we NEVER GET.
Having a balanced life is I think our best goal. Trusting, but not being an idiiot and trusting everyone without some caution, or “giving them another chance” out of pity or whatever “reason” we can come up with. On the other hand if you trust no one, you can’t get close enough to another person to experience love. Maybe because the P “uses” others and knows he does that, he figures everyone else is a user as well, so he can’t trust at all, and therefore can’t love. Maybe it is a “trust deficit”—who knows? I don’t, just an idea that hit me as I typed.
I think one thing that made my P son so angry at me was he had me “figured out” an thought he could predict my behavior, and thought he could predict behavior in the rest of the family too—for example, he advised the Trojan Horse P in a letter to “don’t worry if you piss mom off, Grandma will always take my side against mom.”
He also thought that he could predict the TH-P’s behavior and the DIL’s and his brother C’s as well, but obviously he couldn’t, and that was what blew the whole thing wide open in the end and lead to our escape and the failure of their plot.
It never occured to those that knew me the best that I would ever realize I was being targeted for murder and run like a rabbit and hide. My son thought that I would stand and fight (and lose) never realizing that he intended to have me killed.
My mother never realized that I would ever “divorce” her no matter what she did to me. I never had in the past, and “the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior” but I am learning to use new techniques—this OLD DOG IS LEARNING NEW TRICKS. LOL
Even though the psychopath may genetically be “missing” something,” the ADHD child who is genetically missing some impulse control can LEARN IT, and the child with inherited anxiety disorders or social anxiety disorder, can LEARN TO BE LESS ANXIOUS WITH PRACTICE. The child with no eye sight can learn to compensate, the child born with one leg can learn to compensate. The deaf child can still learn to communicate. The psychopath can learn new behaviors and can learn right and wrong, but the choose not to.
My ADHD son has learned impulse control and is a fully functioning adult. I can swear he wasn’t born with any impulse control though. LOL
I believe that though Ps have some genetic deficits that at the same time they CAN over come them, but choose not to. Just like an alcoholic CAN stop drinking, but most choose NOT to.
They are not without the ability to learn. They are generally able to refine their techniques to be better crooks, so I think the COULD refine their behaviors in order to at least live and work in society. Ted Bundy was NOT UNABLE to stop murdering, he chose to murder. He hid his crimes because he knew there would be consequences he wanted to avoid.
Ted was very arrogant and did get away with many of his crimes, and even escaped from custody twice. His own arrogance though brought him down in the end.