Sociopathy, many experts agree, is a deficits disorder.
The sociopath, in this view, is missing something—things like empathy, remorse, and basic respect for the boundaries of others.
When you think of a deficit—something missing—you don’t necessarily think dire consequences.
You may think, instead, things like less”¦incomplete”¦limited.
For instance, the idea of intellectual deficit might spark the association, mental retardation.
Instead of invoking fear, this tends to elicit our understanding, even empathy. The mentally retarded individual is missing something that most of us have—a normal intellectual capacity. You think, this is unfortunate, for that person.
When you think of kids with attentional deficits, you’re likely to bring some extra patience toward the challenges their condition presents. Your accomodation is based on recognizing their behaviors as originating in a deficit.
When dealing with the Asperger’s Syndrome population, you understand their social inaptitude as arising from a neurologic difference. And so in responding to the Asperger individual’s peculiarities, you allow that he or she, on a social level, is operating with less than a full deck.
In general, when speaking of disorders of deficits, we tend, or at least try, not to take the consequences arising from the disorder personally. We recognize the deficit as something the person doesn’t ask for and, at best, struggles to control.
This isn’t to deny, or minimize, the impact of the individual’s difficult behaviors. But in locating that impact in a deficit, we can potentially experience it as less personally injurious.
Sociopathy, however, presents an interesting challenge in this regard. Research increasingly implicates brain differences in sociopaths. Sociopaths, we are learning, fail to experience and process certain emotions like nonsociopaths. Their capacity to learn from aversive consequences appears to be compromised. And they show evidence of certain enduring forms of attentional pathology, involving defective inhibitory and impulse control.
The sociopath, in a word, appears to be a psychologically handicapped individual.
Yet it’s hard to empathize with the sociopath, who himself lacks empathy. And how not to personalize his actions—actions that can cause so much personal pain? And how not to personalize that pain, even if it results from the sociopath’s deficits?
It brings to mind the concept of processing a vicious dog attack. The dog is vicious. It attacks you. It knows it is attacking you. We can even imagine that it knows, on a primitive level, that it is wounding you. The dog needs to be leashed, kept away from others. Improperly secured, it sees you walking down the street, primitively registering your vulnerability. And then it attacks, remorselessly.
While it’s true that we can ascribe to sociopaths (and not dogs) a capacity to evaluate their prey and plot their means of attack, we run the risk, I think, of giving the sociopath too much credit.
After all, if the sociopath’s deficits destine him to interpersonal exploitation, does his exploitation become personal simply by virtue of his capacity to plot it?
Sure, the vicious dog, unlike the sociopath, may lack calculation and plotting skills. But for all intents and purposes, unless locked-up, both will inevitably attack and/or violate. The vicious dog, if it doesn’t attack you, will attack someone else. And if you are lucky enough to escape the sociopath’s transgressions, someone else won’t be.
From this perspective, the sociopath’s deficits will take forms of interpersonal exploitation just as surely as the child with ADHD can be expected to obnoxiously disrupt others, heedless of their boundaries.
From this angle, it’s possible to construe the sociopath’s aggression as tantamount to a hurricane’s damaging your house. The wreckage may be great, and traumatic; but it is the wreckage, ultimately, of an irrepressibly violent, impersonal force.
Arguably, this defines the sociopath: an irrepressibly [interpersonally] violent, impersonal force.
We hope, through our awareness, prudence, and luck, never to suffer its destructiveness. But if less lucky, we can remind ourselves that the sociopath, in the final analysis, is about as pointless, worthless, and arbitrary as a natural disaster.
(My use of “he” in this article was for consistency’s sake, not to suggest that men have a patent on sociopathy. This article is copyrighted (c) 2008 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
geez, ox. i was waiting for the skillet to boink me but good!
Well, darling LIG, you DESERVED two BOINKS, but since my son C is home now and I am in such a GOOD MOOD I decided to be a lot nicer and just give you a good “tongue” lashing, or is it a “finger lashing” LOL
But whatever it takes, you get out of that twisted thinking mode and get back to REALITY you are as powerful as you THINK YOU ARE! So positive thinking is the operative word. Write down 500 times and turn it in by morning “HE WILL NOT CHANGE FOR HER OR ANYONE ELSE.” ((((HUGS)))))
Hi Wini & Liz:
Regarding competition, I guess you have to look at the motivation. If a person is competing just to be better than someone else..then envy is involved. If the motivation is to get more money, then greed is involved. If a person is just
I don’t like the big wigs in the corporate world who have more than enough money than what they know what to do with. Does someone really need millions to live? I believe we should all live by our means and any extra money should be given away. Those people who hoard their dollars while people in the world are starving really make me said. I say hoorah for Bill Gates and Warren Buffet!
If I only Had a BRAIN? BEAM ME UP SCOTTY There is no intelegent life here! We are off to see the Wizard ! The wonderfull Wizard of OZ! Can ToTo come too? TOTO was the only sane member of the pose! Sorry Henry Toto was’nt a Weiner dog :)~ Hahahaaha If I only had a Weiner? A big one! :)~
Iwonder: It depends if someone is obsessed with money, Obviously the people around me during my painful crisis … that’s all they cared about … what was in it for them! Making deals behind my back, smiling to my face, pretending to be representing me … and making deals for themselves, career moves, making money off of my pain … GREED, GREED, GREED … yes, the American way of life today.
Iwonder: Those CEOs are blinded by their greed. Does anyone know any? I do. All common sense goes out the doors with them. It’s amazing. They only thing they care about is … what’s in it for them? What can the company do for them, for their portfolio, what bennies and perks can they get, their retirement package … then they give the company some proven work from years gone by …. which was completed already and that they resurrect … they are all surrounded by other upper managers that are just as blind and just as greedy … It’s an unending saga with the likes of them … all fools blinded by their greed.
They will lay off 1000s of employees to save a CEOs perks and retirement packages … and none of these folks care nor notice that 1000s of people were downsized and out the door.
All I can say is thank God for small favors that most of them have drivers to cart their butts around … I’d hate to be in traffic with an clueless airhead like them behind the wheel of a vehicle.
Did anyone notice how they made it to DC begging for a handout? Corporate jets.
Good grief Charlie Brown.
It reminded me of when the courts used to call us (we worked next door to the court) and tell us they cleared their docket for the day … the gang members are coming in … so be on your guard.
Gang members used to be in court … standing in front of a judge, for say, selling illegal narcotics.
They don’t have a real job that shows an income, yet they are standing in front of a judge with $100 dollar sneakers on, designer clothes, designer hair styles, gold dripping off of every finger, around their necks, on their ears … they smile and they’ve got caps made of gold … daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. They are wearing the wealth of their illegal activities … arrogant as well as clueless.
Peace.
Peace.
Wini,
Did you work for a law firm? This scenario sound way too familiar.
I know someone who works for a law firm downtown. The Freaks of Nature who slither around the law firm are blatant in their disregard for the law, rights of others and societal norms. At least one lawyer at the firm is abusive, (No way to tell from my perspective whether S, P or N) and the employees function together very badly. There is adultery, slander, backbiting, divisiveness, targeting, gaslighting, and a pervasive niceness scabbing over the whole festering bundle of puss. The niceness is very thin. The receptionist specializes in nasty-nice. (the art of technically polite, saccharine sweet hostility)
She does real well there, which makes her suspect in my mind. She reminds me of a remora, because she seems to be able to function symbioticly with sharks. She fascinates me, but I sense it’s not safe to drop my guard.
If you worked in someplace like that, it’s a miracle you’re not locked up in a padded room and wearing a “love me tender jacket”!
About the human remora:
I’ve been thinking a lot about how some people can rub along with Ss, Ns or Ps without becoming targets. Maybe I’ve developed a working theory.
A selfish affect may be very helpful. The more careless, lazy, rude and unreliable an individual is, the more likely the S or N will be to overlook that person as a potential target. Ss and Ns are much nicer to jerks than they are to goodie-two-shoes. Therefor, occasionally treating the S or N like dirt early in the relationship might be helpful. Of course, you’d have to recognize the S or N early enough to make this selfish affect impact their sensibilities in time to make the difference.
Anyway, I think that’s how human remoras survive and thrive while swimming with sharks.
Observations – opinions? Anyone?
Why are People Malining animals? The Human animal is in itself The most Maligant Creature to ever walk the Planet!
Seems Freedom of Choice comes at an Imeasurable Price ! LOVE JJ
Would that Firm be Blogin + Blogin :)~