Sociopathy, many experts agree, is a deficits disorder.
The sociopath, in this view, is missing something—things like empathy, remorse, and basic respect for the boundaries of others.
When you think of a deficit—something missing—you don’t necessarily think dire consequences.
You may think, instead, things like less”¦incomplete”¦limited.
For instance, the idea of intellectual deficit might spark the association, mental retardation.
Instead of invoking fear, this tends to elicit our understanding, even empathy. The mentally retarded individual is missing something that most of us have—a normal intellectual capacity. You think, this is unfortunate, for that person.
When you think of kids with attentional deficits, you’re likely to bring some extra patience toward the challenges their condition presents. Your accomodation is based on recognizing their behaviors as originating in a deficit.
When dealing with the Asperger’s Syndrome population, you understand their social inaptitude as arising from a neurologic difference. And so in responding to the Asperger individual’s peculiarities, you allow that he or she, on a social level, is operating with less than a full deck.
In general, when speaking of disorders of deficits, we tend, or at least try, not to take the consequences arising from the disorder personally. We recognize the deficit as something the person doesn’t ask for and, at best, struggles to control.
This isn’t to deny, or minimize, the impact of the individual’s difficult behaviors. But in locating that impact in a deficit, we can potentially experience it as less personally injurious.
Sociopathy, however, presents an interesting challenge in this regard. Research increasingly implicates brain differences in sociopaths. Sociopaths, we are learning, fail to experience and process certain emotions like nonsociopaths. Their capacity to learn from aversive consequences appears to be compromised. And they show evidence of certain enduring forms of attentional pathology, involving defective inhibitory and impulse control.
The sociopath, in a word, appears to be a psychologically handicapped individual.
Yet it’s hard to empathize with the sociopath, who himself lacks empathy. And how not to personalize his actions—actions that can cause so much personal pain? And how not to personalize that pain, even if it results from the sociopath’s deficits?
It brings to mind the concept of processing a vicious dog attack. The dog is vicious. It attacks you. It knows it is attacking you. We can even imagine that it knows, on a primitive level, that it is wounding you. The dog needs to be leashed, kept away from others. Improperly secured, it sees you walking down the street, primitively registering your vulnerability. And then it attacks, remorselessly.
While it’s true that we can ascribe to sociopaths (and not dogs) a capacity to evaluate their prey and plot their means of attack, we run the risk, I think, of giving the sociopath too much credit.
After all, if the sociopath’s deficits destine him to interpersonal exploitation, does his exploitation become personal simply by virtue of his capacity to plot it?
Sure, the vicious dog, unlike the sociopath, may lack calculation and plotting skills. But for all intents and purposes, unless locked-up, both will inevitably attack and/or violate. The vicious dog, if it doesn’t attack you, will attack someone else. And if you are lucky enough to escape the sociopath’s transgressions, someone else won’t be.
From this perspective, the sociopath’s deficits will take forms of interpersonal exploitation just as surely as the child with ADHD can be expected to obnoxiously disrupt others, heedless of their boundaries.
From this angle, it’s possible to construe the sociopath’s aggression as tantamount to a hurricane’s damaging your house. The wreckage may be great, and traumatic; but it is the wreckage, ultimately, of an irrepressibly violent, impersonal force.
Arguably, this defines the sociopath: an irrepressibly [interpersonally] violent, impersonal force.
We hope, through our awareness, prudence, and luck, never to suffer its destructiveness. But if less lucky, we can remind ourselves that the sociopath, in the final analysis, is about as pointless, worthless, and arbitrary as a natural disaster.
(My use of “he” in this article was for consistency’s sake, not to suggest that men have a patent on sociopathy. This article is copyrighted (c) 2008 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
Peterd
Magic Indeed!
From the point of birth and before! to learn an alternet way of survival and then Choose to enjoy HURTING everyone they come in contact with for the rest of their Lives! No Majic there Just pure Logic ?
Hey Indi: How are you this fine morning?
Peace.
I just received this in my e-mail and thought I would share it with all of you.
Read this sentence carefully
Now concentrate on what it saying to you …
‘To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.’
When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
Concentrate on this sentence…
‘The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.’
Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear.
Peace as you heal your hearts and souls and know that God is always with you!
I will be with you always
for steve becker and all other lfers
i cant be so compassionate as to liken my sociopath to a vicious dag or a hurricane…….the hurricane cannot look at a city and decide to pass it by…the dog will bite no matter who or what….but the socio has the ability to behave and hold himself back when he needs to….he will not misbehave in front of authority or those he is trying to impress…he has the ability to wear his mask until the time is right…he has the ability to protect himself first……..a biting dog nor a hurricane have the ability to choose their targets…..dumb like a fox/deficit like a savant…….im not sure they all spend as much time planing and conniving as we give them credit for…….i think it is just their subconscious (egoistic) nature to NOT consider outcomes to ANYONE but themselves…..
i couldnt play piano until i was taught…i couldnt be taught, unless i WANTED to learn……..it is a CHOICE, not beyond their reach like a dog or a hurricane……and those of us who have been victimized by these creatures have frequently been responsible for being too compasionate to a point of relinquishing some of our boundaries to them…..
i cant get my head around ONLY conceding the sociopath to be an irrepressible, violent and impersonal force…….that is true, but not the whole story……the hurricane and dog may receive absolution…..there was no intention there…….with the sp…..the whole motivation is intention………intention to harm for monetary gain to some….intention to harm for feeling of superiority for others…..intention to control,for yet others…………..etc, etc,etc
newworldview: The sooner we find our way back to compassion the sooner our healing starts. First, finding compassion again is for our healing. After compassion comes back into our lives we can then focus that compassion towards those that harmed us because they may be sons of our Father in heaven.” (Mt 5:43-45). Besides, we don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle to life, only God see the overall puzzle in it’s completed state.
To pray for our offender, is called “responding in the opposite spirit” it helps us release our anger instead of dwelling in anger. Which obviously isn’t good for anyone to dwell in anger due to having these experiences with these people who offended us.
Dwelling on anger strengthens our own sinful nature… which can or will make us equal to or worse than our offender… the anger will escalate and take on a life of it’s own. Which obviously, is not good for us either.
We aren’t responsible for our EXs actions, but we are responsible for how we react to their offenses.
We also learned that it is very easy to be a jerk in life, but it takes courage and determination to stay humble in life.
Humble is how God wants us all to live our lives. The way society has evolved today, makes it very difficult to to stay humble. What else is new?
Peace.
yes wini …i have worked thru much of the compassion issue and forgiveness with mostly the help of echart tolle yrs ago, before he became so recently popular tk goodness…..God is a major part of my life..always was, always will be…..my socio hated that, by the way…the one thing he couldnt get me to cross boundaries on
i was expressing my opinion to the comparison of the socio to those things that have no choice, no will, no control such as a vicious dog or a hurricane. in steve beckers article……..i cant visualize the socio on the same plane as those…..vicious and out of control, but the socio can change its behavior, when it wants to
newworld view: I look at them the old fashion way. People do evil because it’s easier and they want to. Pure and simple and to the point.
They get what they want, when they want it.
They are the whores of the world disguised by their different masks. Smiling to everyone’s faces, telling them what they think we want to hear.
Instead of standing on the corner flagging down their customers or working in a brothel, they cleverly changed with the times and came off the streets and whorehouses … they now are in suits and ties, designer dresses going into corporate, politics, churches, schools … any and all avenues of life.
A whore is a whore is a whore … no matter what they want to call themselves today. Take off their masks and they reveal their true selves.
The illusion of what they project is what blinded us.
And that’s why we say NO CONTACT … stay away from them, for they are death to the righteous who believe in God.
Peace.
right on!!!!