Sociopathy, many experts agree, is a deficits disorder.
The sociopath, in this view, is missing something—things like empathy, remorse, and basic respect for the boundaries of others.
When you think of a deficit—something missing—you don’t necessarily think dire consequences.
You may think, instead, things like less”¦incomplete”¦limited.
For instance, the idea of intellectual deficit might spark the association, mental retardation.
Instead of invoking fear, this tends to elicit our understanding, even empathy. The mentally retarded individual is missing something that most of us have—a normal intellectual capacity. You think, this is unfortunate, for that person.
When you think of kids with attentional deficits, you’re likely to bring some extra patience toward the challenges their condition presents. Your accomodation is based on recognizing their behaviors as originating in a deficit.
When dealing with the Asperger’s Syndrome population, you understand their social inaptitude as arising from a neurologic difference. And so in responding to the Asperger individual’s peculiarities, you allow that he or she, on a social level, is operating with less than a full deck.
In general, when speaking of disorders of deficits, we tend, or at least try, not to take the consequences arising from the disorder personally. We recognize the deficit as something the person doesn’t ask for and, at best, struggles to control.
This isn’t to deny, or minimize, the impact of the individual’s difficult behaviors. But in locating that impact in a deficit, we can potentially experience it as less personally injurious.
Sociopathy, however, presents an interesting challenge in this regard. Research increasingly implicates brain differences in sociopaths. Sociopaths, we are learning, fail to experience and process certain emotions like nonsociopaths. Their capacity to learn from aversive consequences appears to be compromised. And they show evidence of certain enduring forms of attentional pathology, involving defective inhibitory and impulse control.
The sociopath, in a word, appears to be a psychologically handicapped individual.
Yet it’s hard to empathize with the sociopath, who himself lacks empathy. And how not to personalize his actions—actions that can cause so much personal pain? And how not to personalize that pain, even if it results from the sociopath’s deficits?
It brings to mind the concept of processing a vicious dog attack. The dog is vicious. It attacks you. It knows it is attacking you. We can even imagine that it knows, on a primitive level, that it is wounding you. The dog needs to be leashed, kept away from others. Improperly secured, it sees you walking down the street, primitively registering your vulnerability. And then it attacks, remorselessly.
While it’s true that we can ascribe to sociopaths (and not dogs) a capacity to evaluate their prey and plot their means of attack, we run the risk, I think, of giving the sociopath too much credit.
After all, if the sociopath’s deficits destine him to interpersonal exploitation, does his exploitation become personal simply by virtue of his capacity to plot it?
Sure, the vicious dog, unlike the sociopath, may lack calculation and plotting skills. But for all intents and purposes, unless locked-up, both will inevitably attack and/or violate. The vicious dog, if it doesn’t attack you, will attack someone else. And if you are lucky enough to escape the sociopath’s transgressions, someone else won’t be.
From this perspective, the sociopath’s deficits will take forms of interpersonal exploitation just as surely as the child with ADHD can be expected to obnoxiously disrupt others, heedless of their boundaries.
From this angle, it’s possible to construe the sociopath’s aggression as tantamount to a hurricane’s damaging your house. The wreckage may be great, and traumatic; but it is the wreckage, ultimately, of an irrepressibly violent, impersonal force.
Arguably, this defines the sociopath: an irrepressibly [interpersonally] violent, impersonal force.
We hope, through our awareness, prudence, and luck, never to suffer its destructiveness. But if less lucky, we can remind ourselves that the sociopath, in the final analysis, is about as pointless, worthless, and arbitrary as a natural disaster.
(My use of “he” in this article was for consistency’s sake, not to suggest that men have a patent on sociopathy. This article is copyrighted (c) 2008 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
Wini,
If more people had the courage to confront bad behavior as you did, psychopaths would probably be ferreted out much more quickly.
Dear Blogger,
I knew what you meant about the “speeding” thing and I agree with you. There is also a difference in driving 45 in a 40 mph zone and 85 in a school zone as well, so there are “degrees” of “sin” even in speeding! LOL And conseequences if we get caught breaking the law.
My P-son seeks laws/rules to break for the sheer joy of seeing how many he can break. When we lived in Florida my foster son S did not have a driver’s license and son P was given strict instructions NOT to let S drive the family car that he used. Not only did he let S drive the car, but when S got two tickets, he brought the tickets home and THUMB TACKED THEM TO THE WALL IN THE ROOM THEY SHARED just to see how long it would take for me to see them or for the cops to come to the house.
If it is a “rule” it is meant to be broken. It is a challenge to him to break it, as often and with as much contempt as he can muster. I realize that my son is more violent than most Ps, but never-the-less, he is not a rarity by any means. He is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and to take revenge on anyone who stands in his way, and manipulate anyone gullible enough to fall for his con.
I will do everything I can to keep him in prison for the rest of his life. From my mouth to God’s ears.
StarG: It wasn’t courage, it was leverage on my part over the young mom’s part. She stood maybe 4’11” and soaking wet, she probably weighed in at 80 lbs. Both the 2 moms were tiny women. When her hand went up to smack her son on his ears (of all places) … she was hitting him over his face and ears … her arm came back and I (because of my height) was looking down on her. What I was trying to show her … is her size to her tiny son’s and my size to her … wasn’t an even match … either way she looked. I think she got it … I think both of those young mom’s got it.
I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
It’s the same thing when a bully hits and beats his girlfriend. He knows physically he over powers a woman no matter what her size is. That’s why guys beat the crap out of a guy like this … to teach them a lesson … hey, guess what, you think you’re a big shot because you are beating on the fragile sex, well let’s see you go a round with someone of your own sex, strength etc.
Peace.
Sorry about that Ox. I am slipping a little. I am passing a kidney stone and the medicine they give me makes me a bit loopy (which is why I have been rambling so much on here today instead of being at work).
Ghee BloggerT7165: I thought we were work for you (LOL).
Just kidding.
Hey, whats great for passing anything is a product called Colon and Body Cleanse. It’s all natural herbs. It tastes just awful. I put a spoonful in any of the fruit juices or tomato juice to hide the awful, awful taste of the stuff. They make it in one of the “N” states on the East Coast … NY or NJ, I forgot which.
Of course, ask you doctor before you do anything or take anything.
Peace.
Dear Blogger,
Sorry about the kidney stone! Ouch! Hope it passes soon! My husband had a couple and he was pretty tough about pain, but he was on his knees, as gray as a ghost and whining like a “gut shot dog!” Women who have given birth and also had a kidney stone say the stone is much more painful, hands down.
Drink lots of water, when you can’t drink any more water, drink more anyway! LOL
Cold weather has set in here some and we’ve just kind of hung around inside today and taken a “day off.” This week being the Thanksgiving week wont’ get much done anyway, but we run on “relaxed” time anyway and this time of year if the weather is cold we find something inside to do if we can.
Take it easy, walk as much as you can stand, and drink drink drink! It will pass!
Thanks Wini for the suggestion and naaaa this is not work this is fun. I very much enjoy being able to talk with and both agree and disagree with people about a subject and have it remain so respectful as it has been on here. The older I get the more I know how little I really know if that makes any sense 🙂
Thanks Ox and my urologist always says the same thing when I get them. It is funny because when I am not thinking about how much water I am drinking it is not that hard but as soon as I concentrate on having to drink a bajillion glasses I find I would rather stick needles in my eyes than have to drink that much water 🙂
dear steve….tks for your response….i dont feel that you felt they were not culpable…..i didnt read that into your article at all….nor did i feel that you were at all pointing a finger at victims….i truly get that we are all here to understand these anomalies of nature
my only point is that i cant liken them to viscious dogs or a hurricane,because those things can not control themselves….and i have seen firsthand a socio control himself when he would have rather not….a very odd observation and very creepy
i also understand that you didnt mean to depersonalize the harm they perpetrate on others
i get that you are trying to help explain the unexplainable
im sure you are convinced that the personality disorder is something they do not choose………..im just not totally convinced that it is not some type of coping mechanism they have developed………….why can it be controlled at times when it is in their best interest and used for gain at other times…..they seem to be able to turn it on and off
i agree they are slimeballs….im just not sure if they were born with a deficit or mutated themselves to this as some form of response/coping/entitlement/revenge ????? terri
BloggerT7165: I love mixing it up … it’s fun coming up with all these ideas and swirling it around. Just think of what we can make out of all this blogging? LOL. If nothing else, it makes us feel good.
Peace.