Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we’ll call “Filippa.” She found relief by letting go of monetary justice — even though she was entitled to it.
I’ve been reading Lovefraud for years. I’ve also been in a legal battle with the ex that has been clinically diagnosed as narcissist, OCD, paranoid that has a father of the same, with millions who loves to be in legal battles for sport, and whose motto is, “I’ll show you how to screw over an ex-wife.”
Yesterday, seven years later, we finally went to trial. Yesterday, I figured it out — releasing all his obligations to me, means I free myself of him ever having any more control to manipulate the legal system to harass me or my children. I gave up $150K for full legal and physical custody. He cares only about the money. I care only about our children.
I won!
What I have learned is that I’m smarter and more resilient then I ever realized. For the past seven years I’ve survived this lunatic and his toxic family system and their use of the legal system by proxy to haunt, harass and assassinate my character as well as our children’s, alienating them from even their grandparents. Now that I don’t have to deal with them anymore, I am free to use the same power and energy creating abundance.
Even though, temporarily, I often can’t buy food, and struggle to pay my rent, I am already blessed with abundance; all of my four children are responsible, compassionate, hard working, perceptive, self-driven, loyal, and protective of each other. No typical teen rebellion, or out-of-control behavior. They are filled with wisdom, grace, forgiveness, and humor, so beautifully hard-working, and talented.
Thank you for your insights and willingness to commit yourself to bringing these brilliant people together to share their heartache. Their profoundly transparent stories kept me sane all these years. I wasn’t alone. I didn’t even have to share, though I did under an alias. Reading their stories was like reading my own. I didn’t have to explain, but when I did, the support was profound. I’ve been to therapy. Nothing compares to the healing and support I’ve felt from this site.
Learn more: Your disordered ex — what you need to know for your divorce and custody battle
Lovefraud originally posted this story on July 25, 2012.
Sociopaths in long-distance relationships: 7 reasons why it’s hard to spot them
Truthspeak
Well”this has now gotten to the point of absurdity. I was delivered a “vacate premises” notice by by colleague this evening. To explain the necessity of this action, they shoved the electric bill to me to explain that the bill had becom “a lot” higher after we got here. There was also the excuse thar the g/f’s student loans would be starting back up after being deferred.
Ithen, the vacate notice was given and it was so unnecessary. All signed and instructing me to take my belongings and leave “the belongings that are not (my) belongins in the same condition as when they were recieved..” So, I don’t know how to get the dog pee back on the mattress in the same amount.
The colleague looked like he was going to vomit while this likely abusive femzle spath said, “We’re not trying to be a dick…”
LOLOLOL! Just……..wow.
Truthspeak
Sorry for the typos….handheld devices and exhaustion do not work nicely. 🙂
skylar
Truthspeak,
Did you sign a rental agreement when you moved in?
The vacate premise notice is just that evil bitch trying to make you miserable. Give her what she wants and she’ll back off. After all, when you leave, who will she feed on?
What about your art work? Can you do something more to earn money related to your artistic abilities? If you can pay your roommate more rent, he’ll have to back track on his reasons for outing you.
Truthspeak
Skylar, there was no formal rental agreement and this was an arrangement “between friends.” I know why she’s doing this – and I don’t really take it personally because she absolutely fits the profile of an abusive spath. It was just so unnecessary as I had already been informed that we were to leave.
I’d love to sell some artwork, but there isn’t a market for it in this area. People wish to learn, and that’s great, but the demographics of this entire County makes it the most depressed County in the State.
I’ve got irons in the fire, so to speak, and I’m exploring all options through agencies, churches, and other resources. Something will pan out, it will. In the meantime, we’re keeping low on the radar and packing our belongings.
Brightest blessings and thank you so much for your support and encouragement. HUGS!
Truthspeak
Okay, a complete aside. I rescued a hummingbird that was trapped on the screened porch yesterday. It took some time and I was so concerned about possibly harming this tiny creature that was no bigger than my pinky finger. I finally got a towel over her and I could hear her squeaks of protest. I released her outside and she flew off to recover in a nearby tree.
I looked up the spirit guide totem for Hummingbird and was literally gobsmacked at the “meaning.” Hummingbird represents courage and fight without harming others. Now, how appropriate was that?
Brightest blessings
Stargazer
Truthspeak, funny coincidence. I have a book of Animal Wisdom on my coffee table and just happened to be looking up bird totems yesterday. A friend of mine had told me she had an encounter with a bird at her home. It kept jumping on her shoulder and sitting on her head. That’s really cool about the hummingbird.
MoonDancer
Truthspeak.
Oh my – I was at homedepot the other day in the lumber section and something falls from the ceiling right in front of me, it was a humminbird all wrapped up in cobwebs.. I picked it up cleaned it off and took it outside and it flew away. Some hummer’s can live up to twelve years.
darwinsmom
Hens and Thruthspeak,
Those are beautiful hummingbird moments! Nature and its animals are such a beautiful and innocent aspect of life. I find it healing, to witness, to be part of it and to help it. Even if our trust in humans is hurt, those are the moments we can be freely generous, concerned and giving without fearing abuse. Just beautiful!
Back_from_the_edge
I have a hummingbird that comes to my kitchen window every day – sometimes if I am standing on the porch, it will come and flap in my face, just hovering there, looking at me. That is awesome the stories you guys have shared. They are so very beautiful; aren’t they? I still can’t figure out how they can go so fast like they do!
Well, today, there has only been one stalking so far.
The stalking has been going on for five days now.
Every day sometimes twice a day. I am still very much NC and plan on staying that way.
I just can’t believe the persistence.
Does anyone or has anyone ever encountered such persistence in their experience? I don’t understand it because it’s over the top anymore.
I think it’s at the extra ‘dangerous level’ now.
So I am being extra careful and watching myself more.
The other article Donna posted about ‘stolen lives’…
I have had mine high jacked and stolen for going on 11 years now…unbelievable. Just unbelievable.
I can relate to Jaycee Dugard.
I understand her and how her mind was stolen.
It’s a long road back to ‘normalcy’. If that ‘normalcy’ ever returns at all. Something has been stolen and damaged beyond repair. THAT is the crime. All done with intent too.
It’s the ‘control’ they have got to have. To them, that’s power and entertainment. What they don’t realize is that breaking free from them and reshaping yourself and standing your ground….making it through the maze they left us:
THAT is POWER. WE are the stronger ones. Inside and out. US. The courage and strength that we have exhibited despite them is our justification. That makes us something they will never be because they don’t know how.
Hope you are all well and doing okay.
I think of you all and send wishes…
Have a happy Sunday..
Dupey
Stargazer
I just bought Jaycee Dugard’s book. If anyone deserves to have a successful book, it’s her. I look forward to reading at the pool today.