Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we’ll call Hilary. Names are changed.
The night before I met Nick, I had a vivid nightmare. I lost sight of a caring man in a chaotic crowd, a baby was murdered, and I was poisoned. I awoke and heard, “Wait for the right one. Don’t try to save him. You’ll ruin yourself and your future.” The thought was so pervasive that, although I was perplexed, I wrote it down.
The following afternoon, I met Nick (with whom I’d connected on a dating site) on his boat at the local marina, and an afternoon sail turned into an “accidental” dinner with his parents and sister, drinks afterward, and hours of conversation late into the night. The following evening, he cooked me dinner. He began texting me first thing in the morning and throughout the day. We slid into life as a couple, and although things seemed to be moving quickly, we decided that we were in our 30s, we knew who we were and what we wanted—and we’d finally found that in each other.
Nick was good looking and dressed well. He was educated, highly intelligent and verbal, outgoing, well-read yet good with his hands, spontaneous, outdoorsy, professionally driven, and incredible in bed. Where we weren’t similar, we balanced each other out. There didn’t seem to be any reason to hold back. And yet I was. I’d recently had a brief affair with a pathological man, had learned about personality disorders and the prevalence of such, and—as I told Nick—I loved my life and didn’t want to invite anything into it that would upset it. Nick, of course, assured me that he was different. He’d never hurt me like that.
Nick had worked as a bioterrorism expert and eventually, he revealed, as a covert agent with the CIA. He said he’d been certified sane by the U.S. Government through a battery of psychological tests. He confessed that he had regrets about some of things he’d done and had moved back to his home state to reconnect with his family and his values. He told me about his ex-girlfriend, Grace, whom he’d nearly married. She’d cut him out of her life with no explanation, and his reaction to the loss had ruined his friendships and had nearly destroyed him. For the first time, he said, he’d met a woman he didn’t compare to Grace, a woman who was a better match for him and who challenged and intrigued him all on her own.
Spending time together
Within a week, he’d been forced out of his job and we began spending every spare moment we had together. Within two weeks, he began joking about marriage. Within a month, he told me that he loved me. I didn’t say it back, but instead asked him for his definition of love. “Each time we part,” he said, “it feels like too soon. When I see you, I envision a future, each tomorrow better than today.” I countered, “So it’s a short-term cost-benefit analysis? If we have a bad tomorrow or two, then there’s no future and therefore your love dies?” “Of course not,” he assured me. “I mean the average over the long haul.”
But something still wasn’t right. I asked how he could draw on his skills as a manipulator so easily for his job and yet separate that from his personal life. He appeared sad, assured me that he’d never lied to me—and then confessed that he had. It was a small white lie regarding our dinner reservation with his parents on our first date. I’d heard him on the phone with telling his mom that he’d forgotten about the dinner, that he was bringing someone, and was the reservation still for five? When I inquired about the phrasing later that night, he’d claimed he didn’t remember saying that. We’d had a few drinks, so I didn’t press it. When we later told the story of the date to a friend of mine, Nick said they’d had an extra seat because his sister was supposed to bring someone who’d cancelled. “I’m sorry,” he said now, “a friend was supposed to join me and she couldn’t make it, but I didn’t want you to think I was just plugging you in. I panicked and lied, but I’m a terrible liar when it comes to the people I care about and I could tell you saw through it. So I lied again in front of your friend to try to cover it up. It’s been eating at me since.” I believed him.
He said he was ready for marriage and children, and that I complemented his life. He took me to a suite at a fabulous hotel, he invited me to accompany him on a trip to a Caribbean resort, he did dishes and gave massages, took me to expensive dinners, and he was constantly giving me gifts both great and small. I was in the market for a house, and he accompanied me, talking about what we could afford together and which would allow room for a growing family. He charmed my friends, and they loved him. When the New Year rolled around, my lease was coming to an end, and I hadn’t yet found a house, Nick invited me to live with him on his boat. “It’ll be tight, but nice to wake up to you every morning,” he said. I declined, but took that as a sign of his love and commitment. He flew with me to meet my immediate and extended family, and they were charmed by him, too. I’d moved beyond simply wanting it to work with a man who seemed perfect for me, and I was falling in love, although I hadn’t said the words to him yet.
Distant and irritable
But when we returned from the week with my family, he grew distant and irritable. He confessed that he’d re-examined his values and it would be important to him to raise his kids in the Catholic Church—something he knew I was against. I said that his dating profile had listed him as an agnostic, which he denied. We talked for hours about religion and community and came to a compromise. “Don’t be worried,” he said. “It’s not a deal-breaker. I’m just trying to do the emotionally mature thing and talk it over before it becomes a big deal.” A couple of days later, I checked his dating profile. He was listed as a Catholic, but it also showed he’d logged on recently. I’d never thought to check his profile activity and was hurt to see he’d been online. But when I logged on again the next day to confront him, the profile was gone. I know now that I was lying to myself, that he’d changed his religious affiliation knowing that I’d check. But at the time, I convinced myself that he’d been online only to cancel his subscription.
A few days later, he was again irritable. “I’ve become skeptical and afraid you’re going to leave me,” he said. “I’ve laid it all on the line and made myself vulnerable to you. I need you to be as vulnerable to me. I’ve been hurt before, and I guess I’m just the kind of guy who needs to hear the words ‘I love you.’” And so I told him that I loved him and that if everything were still going well in a year, then I’d be ready to marry him and have his children. We made five-year plans and compared our goals. We agreed that neither of us had ever met another with whom we were more compatible. But Nick’s attitude did not improve. He started making racially charged statements and criticized my friend for being “dominant” in her relationship. He complained constantly about how sore he was from the gym, and made snide remarks about anything I was better at than he was. I asked him if he wanted me to be his ex-girlfriend, and he assured me that that was the last thing he wanted.
Depression
Finally, he confessed that he suffered from functional but clinical depression, and that prior to meeting Grace, he’d been on two antidepressants plus Klonopin and Adderall. He was in the middle of a series of rigorous job interviews for a top consulting firm, founded by an innovation guru, and was under tremendous stress. He said he was afraid I was going to leave him before he could get himself under control. So I promised him that as long as he agreed to help himself, I wouldn’t leave him. “But,” I told him, “this relationship limbo is my kryptonite. With my personality, what you’re asking of me couldn’t be more difficult.”
For the next three weeks, I was in hell. He encouraged me to move 45 minutes away to a place where we could have more privacy but that also removed me from my social circle. He saw me only during the day, then would become anxious and retreat to his parents’ house—or so he told me. He said he was trying to write to me about how much he loved me and what a weird place he was in. He said he couldn’t access his emotions, and it scared him. He said he didn’t know who he was without his job. I couldn’t sleep. I researched depression. I attended support groups. I was assured that although his treatment of me felt like emotional manipulation, it was just the depression. At one point, he had me convinced that he was suicidal, and I called his sister to make sure someone would look in on him. I didn’t know where to draw my own boundaries—where the illness took over from the man.
Then he got the job. He read me fragments of what he’d been trying to write, all of the reasons that he loved me. We were intimate, and he was soft, teary, and seemed desperate to access the feelings he’d been unable to before. I assured him I was still with him, and in the days following, he wrote to me of how much he loved me and we made Sunday plans.
Another woman
I was shocked when, on Saturday, I ran into him on the street with another woman. He told her that I was a crazy ex-girlfriend he’d broken up with before meeting her. When I revealed the truth, Nick accused me of “torpedoing everything in his life.” I discovered he’d been dating her the entire time we’d been together, getting serious with her at about the same time he became “depressed.” She’d never seen any signs of depression. They’d had sex (unprotected) for the first time the night before we’d flown to visit my family. He’d texted me from her bed, “Goodnight, beautiful. See you in a few hours.” He’d told her he was going to visit his friend Ben, who was actually a cousin of mine Nick had never met. He was looking at houses with me, but talking to her about moving with him to the neighboring state when he started his new job. He already had a plane ticket to meet her family. This woman didn’t want to know the truth; she wanted her Prince Charming. She took her first opportunity to shoot the messenger, and she blocked me from contacting her. As far as I know, they’re still together.
For one month, he compromised my happiness as I worried over his mental and physical health. For four days, I was wild with grief, and I’m not proud of my actions during that time. But on day four, I went alone to the counseling appointment Nick had agreed to when I caught him cheating. Still in shock, I told my story. And when the counselor said that I’d been involved with a sociopath, it was as if all the lights in my house went on at the same time. I’d already been involved with a pathological person, had done the research, and was in fact writing about it when I met Nick!
Yellow flags, red flags
How could I have fallen for it again?! I didn’t listen to my intuition; when I saw yellow flags, I didn’t slow down; and when I saw red flags, I didn’t turn and run. And although I’d learned what to look for the first time, I didn’t realize what it was about my own behavior that allowed/encouraged these pathologicals to manipulate me. Several months into our relationship, a friend asked if I was sure Nick was right for me, and I said we were perfect for each other. The fact was, I’d had a nightmare right before I met him. In the days following, I was slightly nauseous when I thought of him or heard from him, although he was saying and doing all the right things. And although I’d never had hives before, for the entirety of our relationship, they broke out in half-dollar size across my chest nearly every morning.
Also, Nick was incredibly out of shape for a man who claimed on his profile to work out 4x/wk. He used Grace as his sympathy story, and the way she cut him out of her life completely was a warning. He lied to me on our first date. He had no friends. He was an admitted risk-taker who’d been extremely promiscuous and hadn’t practiced safe sex. A man with his supposed diagnosis on four medications would not have been a CIA operative. He said women were terrible consultants and was obsessed with power dynamics in relationships as well as business. He was a pariah at his office Christmas party. He’d had five jobs in five years. He was volatile when he drove or when we tried to get his boat off the dock or even when the boat rocked with the outgoing fishermen in the morning. He showered and did his dishes and laundry at my house, (which I excused because I know how hard it is to live on a boat.) He claimed to have gutted his boat and refinished it, but after months of spare time and my offers to help, he hadn’t completed the simple plumbing for his sink. Changing his profile to Catholicism caused me to doubt myself and what I knew to be true. He kept the attention on himself/distracted me through physical complaints and claims of mental illness.
Something inhuman
When I met him, he said “Sorry—I’m sorry” seemingly habitually. After a couple of weeks, I told him to stop apologizing—and he did. Even then, I recognized that there was something inhuman about being able to stop seemingly habitual behavior on a dime. But I ignored these things because I wanted so badly for him to be real. Because of my age, I’m running out of time to have children of my own, and I very much want a relationship. This makes me vulnerable.
I’m an open book. When he asked, I revealed. I told him about my family, about my ex-boyfriend (into whom he molded himself), and about my own fears and dreams. I handed him my kryptonite. I revealed my weaknesses and pleaded with him to hold my heart carefully. Instead, he intentionally tried to destroy me.
Afterward, I kept digging. Even those Nick considered friends were eager to speak out. I learned that he’d lied about past girlfriends being just friends; he’d lied to one that he wasn’t dating anyone even as he was making plans for a future with me; he’d expressed desire to raise our kids on a boat for a couple of years, but complained to another that he hated living on board; his resume is full of outright fictions and stretched truths; he’d been drinking to excess for years and was often thrown out of bars; he’d lied about the CIA; and his sympathy story regarding Grace omitted that she’d discovered he’d been cheating on her. The list of smaller lies, omissions, and character flaws is quite long.
Grace herself will not respond to my requests for her side of the story. She seems to have cut not only Nick out of her life but all mention of him. I can’t help but wonder if it’s out of fear, a desire to protect herself emotionally, or if she’s just as stubborn as Nick said she is. I’m struggling with my frustration toward her for not helping me to uncover more of the truth.
If you want to believe
To women who’ve yet to go through this or who want to believe in their mate despite the evidence, please listen to those who came before you and keep speaking to those who come after—even if they shut you out, accuse you of jealousy, and insist that you’re crazy. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, but we want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us. It has nothing to do with us. He’s incapable of love. He made those other women feel just as special as you feel now, and then he served their worst nightmares on a silver platter. They get away with it, in part, because we don’t trust each other. If we valued and sought out other women more than we valued these men, many of us could have been spared a good deal of pain.
Another of the greatest dangers we face is our refusal to acknowledge until it’s too late that evil is out there in the form of pathology. A pathological person will use our belief that everyone is inherently good, or can be better, as his greatest weapon against us. He is indeed some mother’s son. He’s a beloved brother. And he’s also your worst nightmare. For god’s sake, not everyone is capable of change, and if there’s one thing I took away from my Catholic school days, it’s that the devil doesn’t approach you with horns and venom, but beauty and a kiss.
Just watching a Dutch movie from a narc’s pov: Stricken.
He meets and seduces Carmen, they marry and have a child… Very soon in the relationship she discovers he cheats her, but lives with it, seeing it as his flaw only. They have a “happy” understanding like this and a child. And then Carmen gets cancer: chemo, radiation, amputation… He goes through the motions of being there for her, but eventually starts an affair with another woman Rose. She knows about his wife having cancer from the get go, but nevertheless cannot resist him. Eventually Carmen finds out that he’s got an affair and demands he finishes it, when she’s declared healed. But her cancer returns and she dies with euthanasia, while he keeps having an affair.
What is hilarious is that reviewers simply totally misunderstand the story imo. They think it’s a shitty story about true love, about every married couple having their issues, about cancer driving a couple apart… some advice to better rent a truly romantic hollywood movie… well it’s the crappy reality of having a crappy narcistic partner. I like the movie exactly because it’s of the narcissist’s pov… exactly because he’s so empty it enables us to feel all the empathy we have for his wife.
This is one of the best posts yet! Thanks Donna! I see my story so much in yours. I thought it was love. It was not. He is incapable. It took me such a long time to give up hope. But, I have now. I feel so much more at peace with accepting that he is inhuman.
Recently, his new g/f contacted me. I was leary to tell her anything of my relationship with Ed-the-spath, but she seemed like she needed answers. At the same time, I know my protection comes first, so I chose my words wisely.
She said to me “some things he says just don’t add up”. Like? Well, he says he owns the house he and his mom live in together but, he doesn’t have the master bedroom? I said, good observation that’s because he doesn’t own the house his mom does. Next? He says ya’ll have been broken up for months..since October and then he says June. No, we’ve only been broken up since March. That’s just 2 months. And, one month after we broke up he started courting you.He also said “you cheated on him”. Absolutely NOT. But, that’s the same story he’s told me about previous g/f’s before me. She says, “He has some wild spending habits”. Yes, he’s irresponsible with money…so don’t give him yours. His moods are very erratic she says..is he on drugs?? Possibly I tell her. And, I say well at least with you he has a job now. His work history with me for the past 1 1/2 years was very spotty. “oh, no she says…he just quit his job”. And,…..so I see the entire cycle unfolding right before my eyes. I simply tell her ‘take it slow and go with her gut’. She also tells me she sees a temper when he talks to his mom. That he’s told her he’s been in the army (not true). That the car he is driving is his. (nope its moms) And, she just says she sees redflags and is concerned because she has a 12 year old daughter.
I want to tell her RUn, Don’t walk…just as so many have told me but, I don’t think she will listen. She is in the investigative stage.
Darsmom, That’s just it, though. Most people don’t have a clue about living with a narcissistic pos, and they, like the critics, believe that this kind of thing happens when it’s true love, and two people, who are meant to be together, just can’t resist each other. It’s all so gut wrenchingly romantic, isn’t it? Really makes me sick.
Libra,
I think you did very well there! It sounds like this new victim of his is acting on the red flags she sees quite early on already.
Kim,
No, people don’t have a clue. Plust the story is told from the narc/spath’s pov. I think narc since at least he’s been truthful enough about himself (the movie is based on a book, and based on his own life, and “true” story except for the names of the characters). And it’s clear to me the story is embellished: if he shows something of the relationhip with his wife (other than the cancer) it’s rarely in a normal at home setting, but always some hugely romantic setting (holiday on Bora Bora). He seems rather “empathic” because he wants to portray/mask himself like that, but his actions and behaviour show he isn’t.
And then there’s the daughter. Sometimes she’s present for the story, most of the time she’s not, and you’re left wondering whether she’s left all by herself at home at such a young age. But it fits perfectly the viewo of a narc/spath on the child. She exists but not someone he’s bonded with at all, more like a prop to portray himself as a loving dad when he has the time left for it.
Reviewers often note how they regret that it doesn’t show ore of the relationship dynamics of the wife and him… they note the superficialness of it and complain about it story-wise… obviously the author and the character are simply incapable of that.
It was 1 year to the day I met him. Today is a celebration of survival as far as I’m concerned. My story is a replica of the above. It’s uncanny. My first red flag was nausea on my second date so bad I had to end the date early without eating my meal. I thought it was just a bug I had picked up or anxiety that I hadn’t dated in a while. EVERY meal out was illness to me to the point I actually wondered in the end he was poisioning me my mind was so addled I was thinking crazy and I didn’t even realise he was a spath. 8 months of craziness 4 months of extraction. I shudder to think too hard about what I don’t know that went on what I do know I know is just the tip of the iceberg. Anyway your story could be mine just replace the name nick with charles and you have the same guy. Only my guy in in nz so yes they exist EVERYWHERE. Today I celebrate the breaking of the trauma bond as I now ( only just) feel like I’m not ‘in love’ with the freak over the past few days. I still have a way to go. Thank you lovefraud yoga kitesurfing and a couple of awesome and incredibly patient friends. Bless. Xx
I love the paragraph “If you want to believe”. For an entire year AFTER finding out my ex-spath had been also seeing another woman, I ALLOWED and ENCOURAGED this man to be my friend and often “friend with benefits” because I believed that if I stayed “close” with this man (even though he had chosen the other woman as his GF), he would some day come back to me and be all mine. I “believed” I was different and that he was just “trapped” in the other relationship because of finances. I even knew he exhibited many spath traits – but I chose to ignore it.
But then I discovered I was not the only ex in the picture – but there was also another one being kept on a string! BAM – crushed again and why did I not listen to my inner voice, friends and even lovefraud bloggers?? WHY?
My point is – WE SOMETIMES DON’T WANT TO GET IT. Were are so blind by their love-bombing and manipulative words and our desire to get – back that “feeling” they once gave us that we stop listening to our inner voice or even our own sanity.
In this case I spoke to the “other ex” and then we decided to speak with his current GF. The current GF thought we were out of the picture completely and she was in a monogomous relationship. She was extremely thankful – and said she would confront him – but she also expressed that she loved him and he loved her and she would give him the opportunity to tell the truth and go to counseling because her relationship with him “was different”. e wished her well and gave her the lovefraud.com site.
Sometimes all we can do is warn them – we cannot drag them away. I know – because I could not be dragged away.
Sadly – she has money, children and HE is now unemployed, broke and desperate (again).
The message – “PLEASE listen to those who came before you and keep speaking to those who come after—even if they shut you out, accuse you of jealousy, and insist that you’re crazy”.
I did’nt and it cost me another year of moving on with my life.
FINALLY I am beginning to have closure. FINALLY I have blocked all contact – the threatening emails and texts were coming non-stop for exposing him.
“The devil doesn’t approach you with horns and venom, but beauty and a kiss” – this is so true!
I just came back from a trip to NYC…this is the first article I read and again was reading the same profile as my “P”….it is amazing how they can be identified if we only listened to the words we spoke…they (the identifying words) didnt connect with feelings until the PTSD
I feel like a shadow of darkness lingers over me, i feel “dull” in life and that the darkness is just waiting to steel any possible joy..to make sure that I dont forget what I now know is out there in the world. I read in a book that there are over 100,000 “P” in NYC alone.
I am so glad I am not where I was when I was with him or for months upon months afterwards (suicidal) but I will never be the same person knowing about this evil…While in the hotel, I turned on the tv and started watching Unsolved Mysteries 20/20 and the 2 stories I saw were describing the “P” and the words of the victim, were my words, were the quotes shown in LF comments. She had saved voice mails, messages to her friends and text message to him and from him. I was completely preoccupied with memories and the emotions were overwhelming…I was with my husband and I had to hide the emotions the best I could, however, he kept asking me what was wrong..I then found myself on the shower floor, crying and praying for help for this to stop..”this” meaning the haunting, seeing the evil and no one can do anything to prevent it…I think the guy’s name was Paul Zabot on the 20/20 show and his girlfriend was “Jen”..he covered her in gasoline and burnt her to death…I know the “P” I encountered is capable of such…I submitted info to the FBI but have not heard back. I spoke with a retired FBI agent that put away well known criminals and is quite aware of paths but it was at a private celebration and not the place to discuss it..he directed me to call back the FBI for a status..I was so embarrassed that I spoke of such private issues to this stranger desperately looking for someone to investigate and catch this crook…(there are open ends for him to get caught)..I was bringing up such seriousness at a glorious celebration..what is wrong with me?!?!?
I want to tell his present victim but she is clueless, as I was, to what she is dealing with and will run to tell him what I’ve said out of a loyalty she feels she owes him.(one of his manipulations he puts in all of us…) She thinks the pain sustained emotionally is the sacrifice of “love”( the rage and name calling etc) ..I also want to tell his truly clueless wife as he really hides from her what he is (not like the rest of his victims) he just uses a different tactic of manipulation and a different set of behaviors exclusively for her..Her life, I believe is in danger, or he will just abandon her one day (as he told me he would be leaving her and the child behind in about 5 yrs..of course it is all because of the way she is acting towards him..I say that sarcastically …) …I did not know at the onset of our relationship that he had a girlfriend/wife..he said he had a cook and a housekeeper……I really dont know if something is wrong with her either..is she an N too..does she love the material rewards…or is she just dreaming and planning of building a secure and blessed future?
I am so frustrated because I can not warn or tell the women..he also has more women…If it gets back to him that it was me, he will destroy me, my home…that is one of the reasons I stayed with him…i was always under threat that he would call my husband again..he loved dangling this threat in front of me…he truly enjoyed it…I also believe, that I used that as an excuse to not get out..i couldnt face the pain..I wanted the dream (initial love bombing and my knight in shining armour) to come back to what it was at the beginning..i had to wait to be discarded…Do you think, I should get someone else to contact the girlfriend…she is in very bad shape…he love bombed her, depleted her energy and soul, discarded her as she went into the suicidal stage, had another victim set up at the time and I guess had a fall out with her (probably a severe cruelty and rage and betrayal and destruction of some kind) about 4 months later and contacted both of us as backup..I’m out and she went back into the cycle..overjoyed with bliss as she was love bombed again and now 2 months later torn to be loyal to love but wanting out and knowing that she cant get out because she will die without him…She needs education on paths…
I just wanted to share this…..the tv show triggered so many emotions..I want so much to be in a position to help someone..to listen to them..to support them while they reach out for help but not to try to convince them differently but to educate them slowly..I want to be able to use this experience for some type of good…I know it is not the time as I am still reaching out to those of you who are there already..Thank you
alivetoday:
I saw that show on the ID channel about Jen and Paul…it was horrible.
This whole story reminds me of my ex partner sociopath.
She was well groomed and presented.
Did I ever suspect she’d ruin my heart and take me for a ride? NO. I never expected it.
She seemed to agree to my values of mutual respect and not leaving people in silence but ultimately SHE DID JUST THAT. SHe left me in silence to pick up the pieces on my own. She did what she thought would hurt me most. THe callous person she is.
Now that I’m on my own I just feel gutted.
She was a sociopath and I was living under
her control. I FEEL WRONGED!!!!!
I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE AGAIN BUT
I AM TRAPPED !!!
Alivetoday
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and terrible situation.
I am very similar to you in that I was also silenced into submission and I cant warn other men about the female sociopath that I dated.
What you need to understand is that sociopaths “force” their way into people’s lives.
They dont ask for your permission. Think of them as thieves.
I know this for a fact because my girlfriend who was perfectly financially stable stole lunches from the fridge at her workplace. SHe would come home and tell me with glee how she would take the lunchboxes of other employees and happily devour their food while nobody else was looking. And her laughter – it leaves the devil looking tame.
Stupid me, I just played along with it. I was scared she’d dump me anytime and just like Sebbo, I was “blinded” by her attractive looks.
In many ways she APPEARED like an angel. She was youthful, had beautiful blonde hair and bubbly in her personality. NOBODY ever pointed the finger at her for anything and therefore she acted the role of the princess.
It was only I who knew what she was capable of doing.
And just like your experience, I was in such an emotional sitaution of dispear that my fear controlled my actions.
Just like mafia tactics of extortion and threats of violence she told me that I must never tell a living soul of things that she did. That included to my own family or any other person in her family. It was her way of controlling me. Right to the very end she would quiz me about what I had said to my own mother about her and react angrily if anything she believed I said was a lie.
However as most sociopaths the same moral rules did NOT apply to herself.
Oh no – she could happily converse about me with anybody at all. She could confide in ex boyfriends even to the point of telling me my flaws and what her ex boyfriends thought of me.
One of the most hurtful things she said was when she contacted her ex to confide in about my own troubles with her.
She said “Doug thinks there is nothing special about you” – “Doug wonders what I see in you. He thinks your average”. etc etc etc
All this happened while taking her to an expensive restaurant by the beach. How did you think I felt?? Cheated ! Betrayed ! I almost drove her home but decided to go ahead with the restuarant meal because I was so desperate to salvage the relationship and had no idea about the concept of sociopathy at all.
Please – just realize that you are just another victim of a sociopath’s woes.
WE THE VICTIMS WILL STAND UP AGAINST THESE SOCIAL PREDATORS !!!!!!!