This week the Connecticut Medical Examining Board restored me to the full practice of medicine. Due to the fact that my ex-husband Barry Lichtenthal impersonated a physician and examined female patients in a clinic that I directed, my license was restricted. I am not going to retell the full story today but I am going to comment on some things I have kept silent about. For more details of the story you can read Barry Lichtenthal: Sexual predator ruins the career of Dr. Liane Leedom. Donna Andersen is an excellent journalist and did her own investigation in order to report the story. She uncovered details even I was unaware of.
I want to address the question of whether or not I was Barry’s “accomplice” and the question of what I was aware of in terms of the goings on. The precise answer to the question is that I was an unwitting accomplice. I knew that he told people he was a retired doctor and that he called himself “Dr. Taylor.”
This behavior on his part began shortly after the clinic opened. The first I was aware of it was when I was negotiating a contract with an insurance company. He got on the other line and started schmoozing with the executive. I do not remember exactly what he said but he told the man he was a retired doctor and proceeded to tell funny and entertaining stories. Although I laughed, I was disgusted at this because it seemed infantile on his part and a waste of time. I did not understand this was his “foot in the door” with me and these stories.
I correctly recognized these stories as being pathological lies (pseudologica fantastica). However, I did not understand that all people who are pathological liars are predators. I am now sure that this is the case, though if you read the Mask of Sanity by Dr. Hervey Cleckley, he says that not all pathological liars are psychopaths.
I thought Barry told these stories because he has an ego problem and was threatened by his wife’s status. Again that interpretation was correct, but again I missed the significance of it. I let it go because I thought his pathological lies were harmless entertaining stories that no one really believed any way. Several patients indicated to me they were aware that the stories were entertaining fabrications.
I never told anyone Barry was a doctor. In fact I told every patient I was the only physician at the practice. I realize now this must have been very upsetting and confusing for some people who were being told one thing by me and another thing by Barry. Since he is a professional con artist who do you think was believed?
Because of this terrible judgment on my part, I deserved all the punishment that I received. Since I was part of other people’s victimization, I sought to do everything I could to make amends. The victims were compensated by my malpractice insurance carrier after I provided hours of truthful testimony regarding what happened. The officials of the insurance company believed my explanation that I never intended any fraudulent or criminal activity. I made the wrong decision regarding coping with my husband’s story telling.
Shortly after Barry’s arrest, I had the good fortune to speak with Annie Mcguire from fraudaid.com. It was she who made me aware of Donna Andersen. She and I also had a discussion of the unwitting accomplices of psychopaths. She said this is very common and pointed out that psychopaths could not do what they do without witting and unwitting accomplices. She has written step by step instructions for what to do if you are the unwitting accomplice to financial fraud.
I am speaking out about the fact that I was an unwitting accomplice to fraud to help to bring attention to this phenomenon. Psychopaths con and manipulate people into helping them do their dirty work and sometimes also into doing their dirty work for them. If we can raise public awareness of psychopathy and stop non-psychopaths from helping psychopaths we will be able to do a great deal of prevention. Do not ever help a psychopath in any way or you will be tricked into becoming an accomplice.
Now that gets me to telling the rest of the story. You might be wondering, “What ever happened to Barry Lichtenthal?” It is no surprise that he went to Connecticut State prison where he continued to tell his pathological lies. Prison staff members became his unwitting accomplices when they too did not prevent him from calling himself “doctor” or “doc.”
A law enforcement official told me that it was not illegal for Barry to call himself “doctor” in prison. He said this after I verbally reprimanded him for allowing this to go on. I told him I believe prisoners like Barry need to have a special designation “psychologically dangerous” so that prison staff will not be psychologically harmed by them. It seems odd that if a prisoner is more physically dangerous than average, staff members are warned, but there is no appreciation of the concept of psychological dangerousness.
Now enter another set of accomplices, family members. Even after they knew that Barry is what he is because I told them while also fully explaining the concept of psychopathy; and even after they witnessed his destruction of my life, members of his family participated in his seduction of his next woman. They sent her flowers on his behalf while he was incarcerated. They also did nothing to warn her even though I begged them to.
I was told by inside sources that the prison nurse who married Barry at one point believed he was a doctor. But I have not spoken with her myself to verify this. Donna and I have known about Barry’s new relationship because we both received letters from him while he was incarcerated, and the letters were not all stamped with the prison stamp. I received several letters addressed in a woman’s handwriting and postmarked “Hartford, CT.” Upon seeing the letters I knew that he had yet another person manipulated. I did my own investigation and found out he married a nurse who worked in the prison.
Donna and I did not write about our investigation of Barry and his marriage to the prison nurse because although I have all the documentation of the events that went on in the prison, we have no proof Barry and the nurse were actually married. Donna is a very good journalist and you can trust that she will not tell a story without possessing proof. For more information regarding Barry’s recent activities see Probation department wants access to sex offender’s computer
I pray every day that Barry, now in his 60s has mellowed and become less predatory. I believe that the best person to deal with him is an experienced prison nurse so I hope that situation is going well. I also pray there will be no more victims and no more accomplices.
Skylar,
You are so right. We have to make the best of what we are given. We have to heal from our past in order to move forward. That’s one of the affirmations I do. I say I am going to heal from the past, and allow new opportunity into my life.
This website is such a blessing. I pray everyday that LF followers have the strength & courage to heal themselves. Dealing with a sociopath can be so devastating, but there is light at the end of the tunnel!!
God Bless
XOXO
Dear Meg,
NOT all contractors get sued over and over, he did shoddy work and tried to cheat people and HE IS A CHEAT. You need a cheat WHY? Of course not. You escaped sugar!!!!
Now, the problem is how you handle your feelings. We know what he IS–he is a CHEAT.
So maybe you are having a “mid-life” turning point about your biological clock ticking.
I remember when I had a hysterectomy at 30 and though I did NOT want another kid, (I had two) if I walked down the street and saw a preggie woman I would burst out in TEARS…because my CHOICE to have or not to have another baby was GONE. It was just one of those life-milestones that I had passed.
When I retired it was the same thing—I wasn’t part of the working world any more, so it was another milestone event in my life. I’m an old fart now. I look in the mirror and I’m not a “sexy young thing” any more either, and that’s a milestone.
Each phase of our life is a change, we gain something and we lose something. But each section of our lives has its own good points to replace the ones we gave up when we moved on. There’s no way we can stop the process, and people who try (like men and women who go to great lengths to appear “young” forever) Look at how SILLY they appear trying to look 21 when they are 71! Look at how SILLY they are trying to ACT 21 when they are 71—I mean commmmmme on! LOL Being older doesn’t mean we have to be stodgy or not have fun, but it just means we aren’t 21 any more and we shouldn’t try to act like we are. Just like a 14 year old wants to appear and act like they are 21 and they are silly looking, the older person trying to appear a bunch younger is also silly looking. So be proud of where you are in your life! GRASP IT AND EMBRACE IT, ACCEPT IT! ENJOY it!
Believe me, knowing what I know now, I am not sure I would have had kids so you have an advantage over a woman 40-ish who does have kids and will spent the rest of her middle age raising kids…and might envy your your “foot loose and fancy free” independence! So take some time and get in touch with YOU, what YOU really want (versus what you think you want) and embrace your life, embrace yourself! Spend this time working on YOU! I got a late start in doing that (late 50s, but I am glad I did and at 64 I’m happier than I’ve been in my life!) (((hugs))) and God bless.
Akita,
Don’t give up hope either. My ex sis in law (who is pretty wunerful!) JUST got engaged a couple of weeks ago. He’s a GREAT guy and they’ve been dating over two years now. she is 42!! But the happiest she has EVER been and is SO GLAD she waited and got to know HERSELF first!!
You attract what you ARE Akita.
It IS still possible that love and children can happen for you! But you gotta dump the old crap to get the new stuff 🙂
RB
Blossoming Rose,
It might not make sense at this point in the thread, to refer to a previous comment you had made but I am pressed for time and will need to get back here later, but what I was going to say is: I hadn’t gone to a Tuesday Broker’s Open House in almost two months because when relationship first ended, I had gone as usual, and I ran into the devil and his accomplice. Well I felt that I was ready to face anything last Tuesday, even though I have had an abundance of anger coming up about the devil. I got in my car and went to look at first house on my list, and when I was going up to door, I thought “if I run into the devil at any point I will want to slap him super hard upside his head”. I have never been physical with anyone in my life, but I am telling you I could not get rid of that vivid thought of slapping that bald head of his so hard, even just the thought made my hand hurt, I wish to slap him as hard as I can, and right on the side, there. Right above his ear. I do know how you feel right now, Rose Bud-a-Bloomin’! I think we are at the exact same stage. And both out about 3 months.
Sorry for speaking out of line, after all of you have been speaking so peacefully about affirmations. At this time I am so anger triggered that affirmations only work for me at the moment I am doing them. That is it. My anger right now out weighs most things. My homeopathics are keeping it somewhat diluted but it is still constant within me.
Love,
E
Eden!
that’s an affirmation!
“It would feel good to slap him upside the head”, sounds affirming to ME! 🙂
Aerin, I think affirmations are fabulous!!
I have to work hard everyday to control my thoughts.
Lets say… on Tuesday I’m happy… on Wednesday I’m sad…
what changed? My thoughts, just my thoughts.
I watched a CD by Louise Hay, and read her book,
it was a real eye opener (or should I say MIND opener!)
Love you for that, Sky!!! You’re Awesome, really!!
And you crack me up, like you don’t even know!!!
Eden,
I’m RIGHT THERE WITH YOU GIRL!! I WISH WE LIVED CLOSER AND WE’RE ONLY ONE STATE AWAY!!! Today, I went grocery shopping with my son. I FINALLY dared to go to my fave grocery store. I was SHAKING the entire time. I self talked constantly…what would I do if I saw him? What would I Do? OH GOD PLEASE JUST NOT LET ME SEE HIM TODAY!!!
I didn’t. But I was PISSED that I didn’t too. So as we went to the next store, I was more angry and shaking UNCONTROLLABLY…..my son, of course noticed this and said, “Mom, what’s up?”
“I HATE THAT BASTARD AND I”M AFRAID TO SEE HIM!”
He said, “Uh, Mom, WHY?”
“Because I’m afraid that if I see him, I’m going to slap the holy living SHIT out of him and perhaps take his new gf with him, MOTHER FUCKER!!”
My son looked at me a minute and said, “Uh, Ma…this is what we’ve been wanting to do to the bastard for the last nine years….so really, it’s between which one of us gets him first”
UGH!!!
MY ANGER IS PERMEATING TO MY CHILDREN!!
I HATE HIM!! HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM!!!!
BASTARD!! I”M SO PISSED!!!
So to complicate all of this absolute NONSENSE, my sixteen year old son is giving me a run for my money right now. All pissed off because I REFUSED to play taxi for him to see HIS gf. Pissed off at me today because I REFUSED to give him money that he claimed to want to eat (why is it always five dollars? Well, because he can buy a “dub” with it- FUCK THAT), I told him NO. and let it at that.
So Ox, if one is suppose to have PEACE when one decides to assert their boundaries WHY is there NOT?
I”m ready to STRANGLE my son as well as the REST of my children (ok, not all but a few of them), right along with ex spath.
I”M SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m pissed off that I should be feeling peace but what I feel is PAIN and GUILT
This is BULLSHIT! I SHOULDN”T FEEL THIS WAY!!
To top it off, I”M MISSING EX POS………..THAT pisses me off too!!
I”m so very very ANGRY!!!
Ya know, this is going to sound insane, but I often wonder if I should have just said fuck it and let everyone walk all over me anyway. It seems HARDER to assert boundaries. When I didn’t at least I knew to be expected to be treated like SHIAT.
Now? UGH!!! I”M SO VERY UPSET!!!
RB
Meg,
That early abandonment stuff really sucks – I’m going through it myself over a guy I hung out with for a short time. Ugh. It sucks but I’ll tell you that the pain and obsessing is much, much less this time around. Just like you are doing better this time around. You came out of denial sooner and went NC sooner. Good for you! As much as you can, just keep working on yourself. This in itself pulls you back from being too obsessed with him. Remember, your healing is about you, and not about some a$$hole who doesn’t deserve the time of day. Keep moving forward. Keep your mind strong while you are figuring out how to handle the emotions.
Sending hugs to you.