This week the Connecticut Medical Examining Board restored me to the full practice of medicine. Due to the fact that my ex-husband Barry Lichtenthal impersonated a physician and examined female patients in a clinic that I directed, my license was restricted. I am not going to retell the full story today but I am going to comment on some things I have kept silent about. For more details of the story you can read Barry Lichtenthal: Sexual predator ruins the career of Dr. Liane Leedom. Donna Andersen is an excellent journalist and did her own investigation in order to report the story. She uncovered details even I was unaware of.
I want to address the question of whether or not I was Barry’s “accomplice” and the question of what I was aware of in terms of the goings on. The precise answer to the question is that I was an unwitting accomplice. I knew that he told people he was a retired doctor and that he called himself “Dr. Taylor.”
This behavior on his part began shortly after the clinic opened. The first I was aware of it was when I was negotiating a contract with an insurance company. He got on the other line and started schmoozing with the executive. I do not remember exactly what he said but he told the man he was a retired doctor and proceeded to tell funny and entertaining stories. Although I laughed, I was disgusted at this because it seemed infantile on his part and a waste of time. I did not understand this was his “foot in the door” with me and these stories.
I correctly recognized these stories as being pathological lies (pseudologica fantastica). However, I did not understand that all people who are pathological liars are predators. I am now sure that this is the case, though if you read the Mask of Sanity by Dr. Hervey Cleckley, he says that not all pathological liars are psychopaths.
I thought Barry told these stories because he has an ego problem and was threatened by his wife’s status. Again that interpretation was correct, but again I missed the significance of it. I let it go because I thought his pathological lies were harmless entertaining stories that no one really believed any way. Several patients indicated to me they were aware that the stories were entertaining fabrications.
I never told anyone Barry was a doctor. In fact I told every patient I was the only physician at the practice. I realize now this must have been very upsetting and confusing for some people who were being told one thing by me and another thing by Barry. Since he is a professional con artist who do you think was believed?
Because of this terrible judgment on my part, I deserved all the punishment that I received. Since I was part of other people’s victimization, I sought to do everything I could to make amends. The victims were compensated by my malpractice insurance carrier after I provided hours of truthful testimony regarding what happened. The officials of the insurance company believed my explanation that I never intended any fraudulent or criminal activity. I made the wrong decision regarding coping with my husband’s story telling.
Shortly after Barry’s arrest, I had the good fortune to speak with Annie Mcguire from fraudaid.com. It was she who made me aware of Donna Andersen. She and I also had a discussion of the unwitting accomplices of psychopaths. She said this is very common and pointed out that psychopaths could not do what they do without witting and unwitting accomplices. She has written step by step instructions for what to do if you are the unwitting accomplice to financial fraud.
I am speaking out about the fact that I was an unwitting accomplice to fraud to help to bring attention to this phenomenon. Psychopaths con and manipulate people into helping them do their dirty work and sometimes also into doing their dirty work for them. If we can raise public awareness of psychopathy and stop non-psychopaths from helping psychopaths we will be able to do a great deal of prevention. Do not ever help a psychopath in any way or you will be tricked into becoming an accomplice.
Now that gets me to telling the rest of the story. You might be wondering, “What ever happened to Barry Lichtenthal?” It is no surprise that he went to Connecticut State prison where he continued to tell his pathological lies. Prison staff members became his unwitting accomplices when they too did not prevent him from calling himself “doctor” or “doc.”
A law enforcement official told me that it was not illegal for Barry to call himself “doctor” in prison. He said this after I verbally reprimanded him for allowing this to go on. I told him I believe prisoners like Barry need to have a special designation “psychologically dangerous” so that prison staff will not be psychologically harmed by them. It seems odd that if a prisoner is more physically dangerous than average, staff members are warned, but there is no appreciation of the concept of psychological dangerousness.
Now enter another set of accomplices, family members. Even after they knew that Barry is what he is because I told them while also fully explaining the concept of psychopathy; and even after they witnessed his destruction of my life, members of his family participated in his seduction of his next woman. They sent her flowers on his behalf while he was incarcerated. They also did nothing to warn her even though I begged them to.
I was told by inside sources that the prison nurse who married Barry at one point believed he was a doctor. But I have not spoken with her myself to verify this. Donna and I have known about Barry’s new relationship because we both received letters from him while he was incarcerated, and the letters were not all stamped with the prison stamp. I received several letters addressed in a woman’s handwriting and postmarked “Hartford, CT.” Upon seeing the letters I knew that he had yet another person manipulated. I did my own investigation and found out he married a nurse who worked in the prison.
Donna and I did not write about our investigation of Barry and his marriage to the prison nurse because although I have all the documentation of the events that went on in the prison, we have no proof Barry and the nurse were actually married. Donna is a very good journalist and you can trust that she will not tell a story without possessing proof. For more information regarding Barry’s recent activities see Probation department wants access to sex offender’s computer
I pray every day that Barry, now in his 60s has mellowed and become less predatory. I believe that the best person to deal with him is an experienced prison nurse so I hope that situation is going well. I also pray there will be no more victims and no more accomplices.
Hens,
Have not read any other posts besides yours just yet, but I am dying, laughing. I do know you are serious, but you have the most sarcastic way about you, like you’ve been here a million times before. Not here to this site, but this life. Like Been there done that… YEP YEP YEP. OK, Next. If I am making any sence. Thank you for answering, and I will definitly respect what you said about religious speak, here.
Many thanks,
Eden
I don’t have any advice to give to anyone. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here reading and feeling your pain and shame and anger along with you. It really hurts to see all the casualties these monsters leave behind. Keep venting. This is a good way to let all this toxicity leave your body, bit by bit. Do whatever you need to do. Be pissed off all you want, and do it here – this is a great place. Don’t forget to breathe and take care of yourselves.
Hugs,
Star
OH SILVER MOON…
I do thank you for your wise words.
ROSES IN BLOOM…
Please read SM’s post, above and give me your thoughts. Silver Moon please do not be offended as I truly believe what you have written is wise, however so out of the realm of what I am able to conceptualize this week, if I may. ROSES… After conversing with you previously about your issue and giving you that tool, and then reading Silver Moon’s post @12:49 am tell me what you think. Please don’t take offense Silver Moon as it is me and not you, but I have to tell you that due to the particular state I am in at the moment, I was laughing so hard reading through your entire post, wishing it were that simple, and thinking my God… If she only knew…When will I get there again… Thank you for understanding.
Much Love and Peace,
Eden
Eden? As in the garden of eden? Oh this could be a great conversation with a bottle of wine….but I am happy I made you giggle..I know I come off as sarcastic but it’s either that or jump off a bridge. Sometimes I laugh at myself – yes it’s that bad – if I did not have a little comedian in me I would be a spath serial killer instead – I have to find humor – it’s a form of survival for me – I think I like being sarcastic better than being bitter and jaded and still caught up in all chaos – yes I am an old soul – still waters run deep says this old injun~~~!!
Crap.
Someone give me a beenie and the nearest synogogue. It might help………
No wait…………..a rosary…and a local mass….
Oh, no that didn’t work……….um, hold up, I need to go wax my tongue before I hit the foursquare church…..
**sigh**
Naw, I think I’ll just whip out my bible and study up on the new Testament awhile, with no denomination applicable……wait, I can’t do that either………ex POS gave me the newest, latest and greatest NIV study bible………..
I think I’ll just go cuddle my wiener instead 🙂
Hens
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello night owls,
I had 2 interesting revelations this weekend. One was a reminder about something my aunt told the spath at Thanksgiving – that is when everything really started to unravel. We had been together about 4 1/2 months at that point, and he had met much of my family already. Anyway, I can’t remember what it was exactly, but he was trying to explain how he “kept me in line” over something (probably shopping!) and my aunt said to him, “well, if you think you’re controlling ValleyGirl, that’s only because she’s letting you think that.”
I didn’t realize at the time how lucky I am to have that kind of support! Of course, my family knows how independent & opinionated I always have been (was). Just while I was in that fake relationship, I had on my own mask, not that I was submissive but I was trying to appear softer & more ladylike. In other words, I toned down my true self.
That came up at a family event yesterday, and even though in my heart I’m glad it’s over, I came home alone and missing him/it terribly – what with the cold and rainy weather, and still getting over being sick, and wanting comfort. He was such a great cuddler.
Then I realized, the reason his body seemed to fit mine so perfectly is because I was filling a need FOR HIM, not that he was filling a need for me! He wasn’t giving me his warmth, he was taking mine. He wasn’t giving me his strength, he was stealing my energy. Well, I slept a good 9 hours last night!
Even knowing this, it’s such a struggle. Like Roses I worry about running into him, at work, at the store, and I am still very careful not to leave home without my armor (full make-up) on. I even dress slightly differently than I did a few weeks ago.
I need to focus on being in the NOW too, and that’s never been easy for me.
Wow, Skylar,
You described the P so perfectly. My P at least… And what he did to my being. And remember the other day when I said that I now sometimes feel like only an empty shell of myself or rather the person that I was before him, as he stole my soul, my very essence, all of my being. And now I have to look back to my past to remember or get a glimpse of the person I had been my entire life, up until the P arrived. So crazy. Still just unbelievable.
Thank you for your great explanation of what I had enquired about. I have always envisioned Hell and the devil in an animated version. Probably because I had seen pictures in a book at some point, or maybe more than just one.
Eden
But Eden,
is there anything in the Jewish books that describe Lucifer or this kind of evil? I’m really really curious. I am part Jewish myself. I had a great grandmother who was Jewish. But more importantly, I’m really interested in the different ways humanity has dealt with/explained this scourge for millenia. The Jews have been around for a long time, so I wonder what they’ve written about it.
Eden,
I read Silvermoon’s post and I do agree.
It works when you’re past the colorful metaphors of this stage in the game, lol!
I think…………but also, like sky, my perspective is a largely catholic, with a combination of born again Christian in between that and now what I would consider myself to be in agnostic.
I have a hard time with God because of spaths authoritarian perspective of spirituality and Christianity. Boyfriend went to church every Sunday and while I first met him, described himself as Christian and does in fact, have a license to marry and to bury and a degree in theology…um…
I’m a little sour………..not necessarily on God, but on religious dogmas and denominations.
My beliefs are MY OWN, but VERY VERY basic and would probably be considered an abomination to the catholic/foursquare church. I believe in God. I believe Jesus Christ as Savior. I believe HE is the son of God and a tremendous teacher. I beleive in the trinity, father, son, holy spirit. I believe there is a heaven AND a hell (however, the concept of purgatory never leaves me, given my catholic upbringing, but that’s too good for spath), I believe there ARE good and evil forces……but that’s about it.
I’m VERY triggered with regards to religion. I’m quite likely to act out if challenged upon my beliefs right now, given spathy took those away from me. Prior to him, I was solid. He exploited my faith, with the lack of belief in his, while contradictorily professing his undying faith in God, while his actions spoke the POLAR opposite of that.
What jesus taught, spath did the opposite.
Pscyho head.
Having said that I do have enormous respect for those who believe what they wish is best for them and gets them through this disaster. My son is buddhist and some of the teachings are fascinating, simple and TRUE!
Personally, Eden, I’d love to see this bastard burn in hell.
But, eh. Hopefully his come uppance happens here and before he ends up serving drinks to those in hell that he hurt. Bastard.
RB