This week the Connecticut Medical Examining Board restored me to the full practice of medicine. Due to the fact that my ex-husband Barry Lichtenthal impersonated a physician and examined female patients in a clinic that I directed, my license was restricted. I am not going to retell the full story today but I am going to comment on some things I have kept silent about. For more details of the story you can read Barry Lichtenthal: Sexual predator ruins the career of Dr. Liane Leedom. Donna Andersen is an excellent journalist and did her own investigation in order to report the story. She uncovered details even I was unaware of.
I want to address the question of whether or not I was Barry’s “accomplice” and the question of what I was aware of in terms of the goings on. The precise answer to the question is that I was an unwitting accomplice. I knew that he told people he was a retired doctor and that he called himself “Dr. Taylor.”
This behavior on his part began shortly after the clinic opened. The first I was aware of it was when I was negotiating a contract with an insurance company. He got on the other line and started schmoozing with the executive. I do not remember exactly what he said but he told the man he was a retired doctor and proceeded to tell funny and entertaining stories. Although I laughed, I was disgusted at this because it seemed infantile on his part and a waste of time. I did not understand this was his “foot in the door” with me and these stories.
I correctly recognized these stories as being pathological lies (pseudologica fantastica). However, I did not understand that all people who are pathological liars are predators. I am now sure that this is the case, though if you read the Mask of Sanity by Dr. Hervey Cleckley, he says that not all pathological liars are psychopaths.
I thought Barry told these stories because he has an ego problem and was threatened by his wife’s status. Again that interpretation was correct, but again I missed the significance of it. I let it go because I thought his pathological lies were harmless entertaining stories that no one really believed any way. Several patients indicated to me they were aware that the stories were entertaining fabrications.
I never told anyone Barry was a doctor. In fact I told every patient I was the only physician at the practice. I realize now this must have been very upsetting and confusing for some people who were being told one thing by me and another thing by Barry. Since he is a professional con artist who do you think was believed?
Because of this terrible judgment on my part, I deserved all the punishment that I received. Since I was part of other people’s victimization, I sought to do everything I could to make amends. The victims were compensated by my malpractice insurance carrier after I provided hours of truthful testimony regarding what happened. The officials of the insurance company believed my explanation that I never intended any fraudulent or criminal activity. I made the wrong decision regarding coping with my husband’s story telling.
Shortly after Barry’s arrest, I had the good fortune to speak with Annie Mcguire from fraudaid.com. It was she who made me aware of Donna Andersen. She and I also had a discussion of the unwitting accomplices of psychopaths. She said this is very common and pointed out that psychopaths could not do what they do without witting and unwitting accomplices. She has written step by step instructions for what to do if you are the unwitting accomplice to financial fraud.
I am speaking out about the fact that I was an unwitting accomplice to fraud to help to bring attention to this phenomenon. Psychopaths con and manipulate people into helping them do their dirty work and sometimes also into doing their dirty work for them. If we can raise public awareness of psychopathy and stop non-psychopaths from helping psychopaths we will be able to do a great deal of prevention. Do not ever help a psychopath in any way or you will be tricked into becoming an accomplice.
Now that gets me to telling the rest of the story. You might be wondering, “What ever happened to Barry Lichtenthal?” It is no surprise that he went to Connecticut State prison where he continued to tell his pathological lies. Prison staff members became his unwitting accomplices when they too did not prevent him from calling himself “doctor” or “doc.”
A law enforcement official told me that it was not illegal for Barry to call himself “doctor” in prison. He said this after I verbally reprimanded him for allowing this to go on. I told him I believe prisoners like Barry need to have a special designation “psychologically dangerous” so that prison staff will not be psychologically harmed by them. It seems odd that if a prisoner is more physically dangerous than average, staff members are warned, but there is no appreciation of the concept of psychological dangerousness.
Now enter another set of accomplices, family members. Even after they knew that Barry is what he is because I told them while also fully explaining the concept of psychopathy; and even after they witnessed his destruction of my life, members of his family participated in his seduction of his next woman. They sent her flowers on his behalf while he was incarcerated. They also did nothing to warn her even though I begged them to.
I was told by inside sources that the prison nurse who married Barry at one point believed he was a doctor. But I have not spoken with her myself to verify this. Donna and I have known about Barry’s new relationship because we both received letters from him while he was incarcerated, and the letters were not all stamped with the prison stamp. I received several letters addressed in a woman’s handwriting and postmarked “Hartford, CT.” Upon seeing the letters I knew that he had yet another person manipulated. I did my own investigation and found out he married a nurse who worked in the prison.
Donna and I did not write about our investigation of Barry and his marriage to the prison nurse because although I have all the documentation of the events that went on in the prison, we have no proof Barry and the nurse were actually married. Donna is a very good journalist and you can trust that she will not tell a story without possessing proof. For more information regarding Barry’s recent activities see Probation department wants access to sex offender’s computer
I pray every day that Barry, now in his 60s has mellowed and become less predatory. I believe that the best person to deal with him is an experienced prison nurse so I hope that situation is going well. I also pray there will be no more victims and no more accomplices.
Greetings Neighbors
While I believe this site is invaluable in educating the public at large, I also feel a very important point is being over looked, That being, the number of P we rub shoulders with every day, people that are contributing to society at large, that are living there quietly and minding there own business, I think of them as spider people, and like a spider they find a mate or friend and suck the life out of them and leave them a empty shell of a human, we also need to look at our selves, as to why we as an individual are attracted to such people, and, if that is truly the case how can we trust ourselves to choose a mate. I know many P living very quiet lives and know they would be shocked to think of themselves as P. My first wife was a P. and many of her traits were inherited by my children so for me it’s a thing I live with on a daily bases, some have made good lives for them selves and some I marvel why they have not ended up in jail. Is this a inheritable condition? personally I believe it is. In protecting myself I keep any and all at arms length, while it is true we all are responsible for our own actions, and yes we do have choices, which is something I teach my children. I also taught them “believe nothing you hear and half of what you see”
My advice would be for all of us that are informed about P to look around there community and take note of the P’s and keep your distance, Can they change? no they can’t based on my understanding of the condition. so learn to protect yourselves, because if you don’t you will have two choices, ether allowed ourselves to be a victim, or move of the planet, there is only one of you and these P’s are like the sands of the seas.
Dr. Leedom,
Congratulations for your reinstatement, it has to be a huge weight lifted off you shoulders. I have read some of your postings and you seem to have passed the bitterness stage and are looking at life from an optimistic point of view. To me, this is the most vexing thing to accomplish and the most beautiful thing to accomplish.
I hope that you have many more years of rewarding experiences in your field. Your help and advice have been invaluable to people like me who could never have fathomed that a person so disordered would be a part of their lives.
I just read an essay about lying written by Stephanie Ericksson and in it she talked about a study done when people are lied to by dismisal (i.e.-That never happened, it’s in your imagination) and how damaging it is to their mental health. Children who are lied to in this way have a higher rate of scizophrenia (sp?) as adults. No wonder we feel so horrible after our experience, our reality has been altered.
Having a website such as LoveFraud brings about healing from the crazy making that has invaded our psyche for so many years. Thank you for helping us on our journey to recovery.
Dear Caprine,
Do you keep goats? Is that why you chose your name?
I agree with you, many psychopaths live (on the surface at least) “quiet” lives without robbing or killing, but just sucking the life out of their family and everyone around them seems to think they are a “nice normal family”—
Yep, there is I think both a genetic and an environmental basis to psychopathy, and research has seemingly borne this out as well. I’m sorry your kids are like their p-egg donor, that’s a shame. I’ve got one full blown criminal P-son and one who isn’t really a psychopath, just an ass, but he has a conscience. Fortunately I have one son (adopted) who is a wonderful young man, so I’m fortunate there.
Many people though live lives of “quiet desperation” because of the psychopaths they are involved with. I’m no longer willing to do that.
Dr. Leedom,
I believe that we all in one way or another are put here to help others, even the (sp’s) have a role to play here. By being there special selves we get lessons in life that we other wise would have not gotten if we were dealing with “normal” thinking and feeling humans. Sometimes it is having to go through things like we are going through or have gone through so that we can help others with our experiences. I’m glad that you are getting your life back and lived to share your experience, strenght and hope with us. This website was a surprize to me (showing up in my e-mails from i don’t know where) but divinely appointed for sure. In response to SHMS, i think periodically that “nobody can really be this horrible, without love at all in their hearts and he would cry and he was so kind to me at times that maybe (just maybe) he is sorry for breaking my jaw, stealing my jewelry, lying to me about everything, etc, etc…then i tell myself to STOP!!!!! even if this is true and he has some remorse chances of him hurting me again are very high so why would i even romance the thought of being with this person again?! I go from anger to emptiness to sadness to being strong to wishing he wasn’t what he IS, blah.. blah. So in answer to your question yes there are people who think like you do, who think there is a chance that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE!!!??? There is some good in there somewhere but then i STOP myself and play the tape all the way through. I can make all the excuses in the world for his behavior but the outcome is still the same. This man has done things to me that i would not do to my worst enemy and all the while professing his love for me. NO he is not a good person. YES, he would do it again if i let him, NO it is not worth having to be hypervigilant and paranoid being with him. So, i’ll say… play the tape all the way to the end. My guy never laid a hand on me until this last time but he almost killed me. It’s that last reconciliation where they become really pissed. For one they have been found out, secondly (YOU) in their eyes have made a fool out of them, If they truly did fall in love with you (I mean they feel that they have ownership of you) they will stop at NOTHING to keep others away from you, and in my case, you actually stood up for yourself and got even with them (legally, financially, or sneekily) by pulling some of there games on them, then you are in true danger because (atleast my sp) would find pleasure in seeing me cry, he would even with a smirk on his face, that i’m sure he didn’t think i noticed, come over and feel my face to see if it was wet. One thing that i have always believed and that is “If you think that person is bad now just wait until you leave them then you will get to see how bad they really are and in my cases it( the abuse) has usually been way worse than it was when i was with them. Just food for thought. Also for Hopeforjoy, i agree with you 100%. WHen a person has been around people who have lied to them telling them that things are white when they are black, good when they are bad, That “that didn’t happen and all of it was in your head”, That you are crazy etc…) especially by people that you are supposed to trust, especially as a kid, then it does dramatically affect someones mental health. Leading to poor choices in partners, etc… Because our internal protection devices like intutition and just knowing what is safe and not safe have been tampered with and it scars our thinking, sometimes for ever. There is good news though and i don’t want to leave on a downer note, once we are informed and we find out why we attract these types of people then we can fix it. To be forwarned is to be forarmed!!!! I’ve written long enough already but there are ways to heal energetically on a soul level. I’ve done some of the work already and obviously i need alot more but it works, really. Light and love to all of you here… Caylin
P.S. Thank you for being here. Support helps a great deal to overcome stuff like this…
Yes I did keep goats since 1941 there a bouts, It tickled me that you recognized the name. I was a breeder of blue ribbon animals.
It’s encouraging for me to realized that yes others are able to see that many folks are not always as they seem, With being a bible reader this bible text keeps popping into my mind “(Jeremiah 51:7) . . .That is why the nations keep acting crazed” {mad or insane}. we do live in a crazy world.
Dear Caprine,
I’m a farm girl, so caught on to the screen name. Wasn’t sure if you were being a smart alec or if you raised goats so thought I would ask. LOL We had some guy come here a year or two ago with some name (CRS can’t remember what it was now) that had a “double” meaning and he was a trolling psychopath. So I thought “goat?” Huh? Wonder if he raises goats or if he is a “goat” in disguise! LOL
Yea, I started raising dairy goats when my oldest bio son was 6 or 7 cause he was allergic to cow milk and in those days in this part of the country–couldn’t buy goat milk, so had to squeeze teats to get it! I’d never been around goats (family had cattle) and came to love/hate the critters! They are so contrary, but you either love them, hate them or love AND hate them! LOL
Got into raising and training Border Collies through the goats! Gosh with goats you just about HAVE TO HAVE collies, and also guardian dogs, Pyrenees. Lost my last collie this summer and so I’m not going to be doing any more goat/dog demos, and I miss that, but only kept goats now to work the dog with. Am retired mostly.
Had some goats again for a while when son was home for a year after his divorce. Just two does and their kids, took half the milk and let the kids have the other half, so in emergency we could just turn them together if we had to go some where and didn’t have anyone to milk for us. Still swam in milk and they have been gone over a year and I am still thawing and drinking their milk that I froze. At -10 degrees F it keeps pretty well for quite a while. I’m lactose intolerant too but you can buy goat milk in the stores now, but is high as a cat’s back.
Talking about this crazy world, sometimes I get discouraged, like all the stuff this Wikileaks data that is coming out about Iran paying off the Afganies, and so on, and the inhumane treatment of people, the murder and the bloodshed, and our own crooked politicos—-but really the world is NO different than it has always been; some very good people and some very bad and most in between. I just have to keep reminding myself God is in control.
Unfortunately, most of our “leaders” are about IMHO as single minded as a buck goat—and I can’t think of anything that is more self centered and bent on only one thing, pleasing himself, than a buck goat! Nasty creatures! LOL Only kept one for “business” a few weeks a year and then he was GONE ASAP! LOL
Glad you stopped in, hang around a while, there’s some good folks here and we are all learning together to overcome what the psychopaths have done to us—to heal and become stronger, support others who have been used/abused. A great place to be if you need to be here. This place has been a great support to me for sure.
There are many men who are Sociopaths. The Media and Political arena’s attract them. There are those in both political parties. There are also women who are Sociopaths in these fields. I have not followed Gov Spitzer or the other former Governor to know enough to label them Sociopaths myself personally. I have followed Glenn Beck and Bill O’Riley enough to know they are Sociopaths. Unfortunately, there are 2 women in Politics right now that are also Sociopaths, and they have gotten a lot of media attention. It scares me to death to think that Sarah Palin could run for President. Sociopathic Women have a slightly different method of controlling and manipulating, and abusing. The gender differences exist in healthy men and women as they do in the sick men and women. Sarah Palin distorts, lies, manipulates, and abuses using passive aggressive, covert tactics. She has NEVER apoligized for any inappropriate comment she has made. She is full of hate, but expresses it passively. Her feud with the Murkowski family is childish. She has a lower approval rating in Alaska than Obama has, which shows that those who know her better, do not trust her. She talks of Death Panels, and has no clue how to create jobs. She uses her religion and the political scene as a pulpit to bring attention to herself. Her daughter is a Sociopath in the making, her husband Todd is a Co-Dependent. The potential son in law will either become a co-dependent, or suffer the wrath of Sarah, and never get to be a father to his son. She is a pathological liar, and a Fraud. Christine O’Donnell is another Sociopath. She lied on her resume about attending “Oxford”. She knew very well that she lied, but never apologized about it, just quietly changed her “Bio” to include the fact that she attended a “Course” on the campus at Oxford, that was unaffiliated in any way with the school itself. This is just one example of many lies, distortions, half truths, and deceptions that she uses. Women Sociopaths are manipulative. They use their charm and figuratively seduce innocent voters, innocent people with little knowledge of the Sociopath disorder. Ignorance is HUGE in our society and it is going to haunt us for many years if we do not address it. The Psychological Profession has failed us miserably because they gave in to the Lawyers/Legal pressures many years ago. Keep it a secret, protect them, and you will benefit financially! The Lawyers all benefit from the Failure of the Psychological Profession to actually DIAGNOSE these people definitively. The wishy washy language they use enables and supports the Sociopathic personality in LEgal settings. The Truth has been lost in the muddied halls of justice, and it is making the LAwyers and Judges rich. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in the Family Court System! I married a Sociopath and did not realize it for several years. I have educated myself and I understand it better than most Psychologists do. My 2 children have been figuratively kidnapped both emotionally and psychologically by my ex wife. The courts have supported her all the way. The Guardians have lied to support her, the psychological evaluation reviewed by the State Board after she filed a complaint was deemed valid, yet the courts ignore it and give her custody? IT is crazy. My son is likely going to be the worst victim of the abusive parenting and the Sociopathic agenda. She is a nurse and former Social Worker and works for the county. MAny employees in this system are Soicopaths. Some are just man haters. We have a problem with the way we raise boys because we destroy their fathers, and treat them like financial slaves. There are more young boys being raised by Sociopathic single mothers in this country than you could ever count. MY daughter understands there is something wrong with her mother. She has written 6 letters to the judge asking to live with me. She will be 14 soon. She is a fabulous young lady, does well in school, and comes to see me every chance she gets. My son is 16, drugged up by his mother on ADHD medication. It gives her control, keeps his self esteem low, and makes him her co-dependent. IT is criminal child abuse. She has a history of alcohol abuse, sleeping pills, anti-depression drugs, and is a world class liar! It is sad. It is sick. Boys are more susceptible to this abuse because their brains do not develop the cognitive decision making abilities until the late teens and even early twenties. We are a society that is ignoring this “Silent plague” that is destroying more lives than any war we have ever fought. These boys being raised by their sociopathic mothers do not have a chance in life.It needs to stop. Every time my daughter comes over and stays over, she is verbally abused by her mother. She has been told lies by the Guardians, and refuses to give in. My son now assists his mother in her evil effort to alienate my daughter from me. The Family Court System is a Criminal Operation that is responsible for more child abuse by far than any other “legal” aspect of any society in modern times. Sociopathy is becoming more prevalent because this system enables them, supports them, and hires them! I would bet that 2 of the 3 Guardians we have had are Sociopaths themselves. We need to NEVER allow ANYONE to be involved in making legal decisions for our children UNLESS they have gone through a complete PSychological Evaluation themselves!!! First and foremost, this must be a requirement.Psychologists and Social Workers get their degrees without having to submit to a PSyche Eval? That is a crazy society that is failing miserably to protect the mental and psychological health of its children, and exposing them to abuse that is the root cause of most of the issues we face today. More crime, drug abuse, fatherless children, motherless children, poverty, failed education, and dysfunction is caused by the family court system than ANY OTHER ELEMENT of our Society. We need to wake up and we need to go after the Lawmaker’s and the LAwyers and the Judges. We need a complete rebuilding of this system now.
Dear Pernicious Family courts,
I’m so sorry that you had this disturbed woman as your spouse. She continues to put you through hell and won’t stop because, in her disordered mind, she feels like the victim. And we wonder why other people can’t see this, they have the proof in front of their eyes.
It’s the bloody charm of the spath, they can fool even the best psychologists, social workers, judges, etc. Women probably get away with more because we are typically thought of as nurturing and they can’t wrap their mind around someone being that cold.
I would have to agree with you about Sara Palin. I don’t know why people fall under her spell. She is not that bright, gave up the governorship before her term was up, (who does that?), and clearly self promotes and manipulates. When given a prepared speech, she is good and suave, charasmatic too. Not really a good enough reason to lead anyone! We have Michelle Bachman in my state who is just as awful. She was hiding behind bushes and spying on people outside the state capitol when she was a state rep. They even had her picture on the news and people still vote for her. Go figure.
I’m really sad for your children, but you need to be the good role model and try to undue some of the damage. At least your daughter gets it, mine does too. The psychologists tell me to keep the kids out of it, I don’t know if this applies to sociopathic exes. How do we warn our kids without seeming bitter?
Keep posting and sharing!
Ihave been reading the articles and blogs on this site for 6months. I have been with a sociopath for the past 12 years. I feel shattered, he has once again disappeared tothe Philipppines to see a woman he met on person.com 6 years ago. I so want to end this relationship, I am so scared when I think of life without him, isn’t that appalling, to be afraid to let go of someone who is a total fake. My goodness I must be so flawed. I am beating myself up over it. I know I have to sever complete contact, never have any contact at all ever again. Im trying to get myself in a place where I am strong enough to do that. I get help by reading the blogs and know that I am not alone, but I feel so alone.
(((((bellabell))))))
no you aren’t alone.
You are loved. you are one of us.
It’s time for you to focus on YOU. 12 years is 12 years too long, don’t let it turn into 25 like I did! Get out now.
Bella, know that he is not going to see this woman in the phillipines just to see a woman. He went there to torture YOU.
They don’t think like we do. They love to torture. Don’t let him. Get away and go NC.