This week the Connecticut Medical Examining Board restored me to the full practice of medicine. Due to the fact that my ex-husband Barry Lichtenthal impersonated a physician and examined female patients in a clinic that I directed, my license was restricted. I am not going to retell the full story today but I am going to comment on some things I have kept silent about. For more details of the story you can read Barry Lichtenthal: Sexual predator ruins the career of Dr. Liane Leedom. Donna Andersen is an excellent journalist and did her own investigation in order to report the story. She uncovered details even I was unaware of.
I want to address the question of whether or not I was Barry’s “accomplice” and the question of what I was aware of in terms of the goings on. The precise answer to the question is that I was an unwitting accomplice. I knew that he told people he was a retired doctor and that he called himself “Dr. Taylor.”
This behavior on his part began shortly after the clinic opened. The first I was aware of it was when I was negotiating a contract with an insurance company. He got on the other line and started schmoozing with the executive. I do not remember exactly what he said but he told the man he was a retired doctor and proceeded to tell funny and entertaining stories. Although I laughed, I was disgusted at this because it seemed infantile on his part and a waste of time. I did not understand this was his “foot in the door” with me and these stories.
I correctly recognized these stories as being pathological lies (pseudologica fantastica). However, I did not understand that all people who are pathological liars are predators. I am now sure that this is the case, though if you read the Mask of Sanity by Dr. Hervey Cleckley, he says that not all pathological liars are psychopaths.
I thought Barry told these stories because he has an ego problem and was threatened by his wife’s status. Again that interpretation was correct, but again I missed the significance of it. I let it go because I thought his pathological lies were harmless entertaining stories that no one really believed any way. Several patients indicated to me they were aware that the stories were entertaining fabrications.
I never told anyone Barry was a doctor. In fact I told every patient I was the only physician at the practice. I realize now this must have been very upsetting and confusing for some people who were being told one thing by me and another thing by Barry. Since he is a professional con artist who do you think was believed?
Because of this terrible judgment on my part, I deserved all the punishment that I received. Since I was part of other people’s victimization, I sought to do everything I could to make amends. The victims were compensated by my malpractice insurance carrier after I provided hours of truthful testimony regarding what happened. The officials of the insurance company believed my explanation that I never intended any fraudulent or criminal activity. I made the wrong decision regarding coping with my husband’s story telling.
Shortly after Barry’s arrest, I had the good fortune to speak with Annie Mcguire from fraudaid.com. It was she who made me aware of Donna Andersen. She and I also had a discussion of the unwitting accomplices of psychopaths. She said this is very common and pointed out that psychopaths could not do what they do without witting and unwitting accomplices. She has written step by step instructions for what to do if you are the unwitting accomplice to financial fraud.
I am speaking out about the fact that I was an unwitting accomplice to fraud to help to bring attention to this phenomenon. Psychopaths con and manipulate people into helping them do their dirty work and sometimes also into doing their dirty work for them. If we can raise public awareness of psychopathy and stop non-psychopaths from helping psychopaths we will be able to do a great deal of prevention. Do not ever help a psychopath in any way or you will be tricked into becoming an accomplice.
Now that gets me to telling the rest of the story. You might be wondering, “What ever happened to Barry Lichtenthal?” It is no surprise that he went to Connecticut State prison where he continued to tell his pathological lies. Prison staff members became his unwitting accomplices when they too did not prevent him from calling himself “doctor” or “doc.”
A law enforcement official told me that it was not illegal for Barry to call himself “doctor” in prison. He said this after I verbally reprimanded him for allowing this to go on. I told him I believe prisoners like Barry need to have a special designation “psychologically dangerous” so that prison staff will not be psychologically harmed by them. It seems odd that if a prisoner is more physically dangerous than average, staff members are warned, but there is no appreciation of the concept of psychological dangerousness.
Now enter another set of accomplices, family members. Even after they knew that Barry is what he is because I told them while also fully explaining the concept of psychopathy; and even after they witnessed his destruction of my life, members of his family participated in his seduction of his next woman. They sent her flowers on his behalf while he was incarcerated. They also did nothing to warn her even though I begged them to.
I was told by inside sources that the prison nurse who married Barry at one point believed he was a doctor. But I have not spoken with her myself to verify this. Donna and I have known about Barry’s new relationship because we both received letters from him while he was incarcerated, and the letters were not all stamped with the prison stamp. I received several letters addressed in a woman’s handwriting and postmarked “Hartford, CT.” Upon seeing the letters I knew that he had yet another person manipulated. I did my own investigation and found out he married a nurse who worked in the prison.
Donna and I did not write about our investigation of Barry and his marriage to the prison nurse because although I have all the documentation of the events that went on in the prison, we have no proof Barry and the nurse were actually married. Donna is a very good journalist and you can trust that she will not tell a story without possessing proof. For more information regarding Barry’s recent activities see Probation department wants access to sex offender’s computer
I pray every day that Barry, now in his 60s has mellowed and become less predatory. I believe that the best person to deal with him is an experienced prison nurse so I hope that situation is going well. I also pray there will be no more victims and no more accomplices.
Eden………….
Jogging on the beach……..
Another thing spath took from me. I always loved the beach, which is ninety minutes from my home. He met me there once by surprise, went home at night…….
Never again. He invited me a couple of times. I didn’t go. I couldn’t. Because I knew I’d be wounded and couldn’t escape if I went with him……….
I’ve been thinking about a trip to the beach. But right now, I can’t emotionally bear it.
This girl is long past a vacation now.
RB
Roses,
First things first. Although I have not been one to cuss, much, I do the same as you… but instead of BASTARD, as you say you refer to him, I say FUCKER. When I walked out of my doctor’s office the other day, after fiding out I had to add another suppliment to my regimine, I opened the door and kept repeating: FUCKER FUCKER FUCKER. This is so not like me, but there is no other word for him, when I am directing my anger at him and what he has caused. And please don’t think I do not take responsibility for what I can be doing to move forward from this.
Ok, next thing… I did not for a second feel or think that you had minimized anything. That is not why I was going on as I had. It was to let you know, that you can see me for what is the truth, as it had seemed as though you had me pegged for an angel, up on a pedestal, or something of that sort. I was attempting to say, you had given me too much credit? Anyway, Thank you for saying what you did, however I never felt minimized by you. Not even a little. And honestly, many times here, I have looked up to you, and I am sure I will continue to!!!
Love,
E
P.S. Given the fact that your ex is now with Kim K, you must live in the same state as I do and if you live 90 minutes from the beach, but live even remotely close or in the direction of Kim K’s residence, then I most like live near a beach that you would go to if you were to go to the beach, if I am making any sense. So I propose to you, that we somehow connect, and you come out this way and we do a long, theraputic walk together on the beach! Or if you would rather, we could just sit on the sand and listen to the waves. I am very serious about this. Please consider it.
E
(((((((((( Eden )))))))))))))))))))))
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, but FUCKER? Hmmm…..I don’t know, but I think BASTARD is just a STEP BELOW FUCKER!!! Do ya think I’m a little ANGRY? lol!!! Shoot!
I cuss regularly like a sailor anyway. Just your basic hell,damn,shit stuff. But the biggies I just don’t do.
Oh HECK no,I don’t see you as angelic!!! NONE of us are. I just admire that you are processing this in a way that I strive to do…….just as it is, moment to moment………but I DO see a lot of strength in you Eden. I really do. It’s meant as a compliment to you and your process. It’s real. I’m glad that you didn’t feel I minimized it. Sometimes, I don’t think things come across as well on the blog (aka:internet) as well as it would in person.
Seeing your strengths as well as others here, inspires me.
I’m coming up on almost three months since I physically saw this man. Three months is the longest I have gone without contacting him first and that has only happened twice in our relationshit. Once because it was court mandated, the other because he was trying to “work his marriage” after he told her about our affair aka: trying to get things back under his control before it went to shit again and he coudl resume triangulation….
I’m REALLY struggling right now to maintain my NC. If it were NOT for people like you, your strengths and struggles here, I might well have contacted here. This blog has saved my ass MORE THAN ONCE in wanting to contact and NOT doing it. I’m still highly addicted to this man, even though the puzzle is slowly disassembling……….but I know how fragile I am right now.
I’m going to hang onto this blog day and night until I reach the point where I can let go of him and not desire contact at all. I see this as a short term goal. Ox and others might have to take out the frying pain and BOINK me over the head more than once in the next several weeks/maybe months of initial NC, but it’s MY determination, turning on the puter and coming here to read and blog that says there is apart of me that wants health and a good future, no matter how fucked up I am right now.
Love and hugs, Eden. Your input here is invaluable to me.
RB
Eden,
I totally would. I understand. My ninety miles is in the state right next to you, you are in flying/driving distance of me.
And I WOULD consider that. It sounds so lovely. Hanging out on the beach, walking, talking……..there is NOTHING better than the sounds of the ocean and the warm sun on your face and your feet in the sand……..there is something SO HEALING to me about that…….but in the state just above you, our beaches are cold with wild raging storms that are unbelievable this time of year!! LOL!
I miss it SO MUCH!
I wish I lived closer because I would LOVE to hang with you at the beach chica!
RB
BTW, Eden, your Kim K was a tip off as to your whereabouts lol! 🙂
Think DUCKS and you’ll be good to go at the state to which I live.
This is something I’ve learned, Roses, and I am making strides with it…
If there is something that you loved to do but can no longer fathom, because your x caused it to become a bad memory or experience, experience it with someone new. I have a friend who has been so incredibly supportive of me while I have been healing. He takes me to places that I loved to go, before I had ever engaged with the x. Places that I would never have given up going to for the rest of my life, because I loved them and they were a nice part of my life. Then I experienced spme of those places with the x, and I couldn’t emotionally get myself back there. It was if I had been raped in these places or something, however that was not the case. My friend Mike, has been taking me back to these places. It has been working because now I am having the experience with someone else so it is all diferent. You should try it, and you can try the beach with me if you feel comfortable.
E
Eden……….
You’re SO LUCKY to have a male friend who can help introduce life to you again. I don’t. I don’t trust that anymore….
I find it difficult to trust at all. The things I loved so much, ……..the beach is one of them……I miss the sound of the ocean…..the wind on my face during the summer……..
Almost to the point of tears. it was a place of tranquility and peace for me and quite frankly, just like you said, I feel raped. I feel that everything I loved, was raped………I can’t bear to go to my beach. MY coast. I can’t bear it. And I know that I cannot bear it alone, which is so unusual for me, because there was a time where it was a place of escape for thought for me and I would RUN there……..I enjoyed every minute of the drive alone…sitting in the room that I was familiar with…..a gas fireplace going at night………a place of refuge…..I spent hours at the beach……just breathing the fresh ocean air…..
I cannot bear it…
I need to go cry for awhile………
RB
Roses,
I think our messages crossed. I did see your last posts. I am off for the evening. Hope to meet up again soon. If you see Skylar, say goodnight for me, if you would.
Thank you for everything!
Always,
Eden
Hi Eden and Roses,
Roses, I agree with you 100% that they are all about winning. every conversation with them whether logical or nonsensical will always end making them look good, as if they are right, as if they want to own no reponsibility, no accoutability, and dismiss and diminish the reason the topic even surfaced between us.
I told him several times that it was all about winning for him and I felt guilted, topped over and pushed in a corner. I said this was not the way I can lead a life with him and was one of the main reasons of telling him I could not be with him anymore. If I said, I did not want to be with him becoz he was a liar or cheater, he would immediatly have said, “I have changed now, give me a chance” and I did not want this saga and drama to go on anymore.
Eden,
yes, they stress us so much, we can’t sleep well, we go about our day like a zombie, though it is getting better now, and they go along with their life, never looking back at the destruction they caused us.
One example – once we had a phone argument and it left me in tears, it was his evening in USA and my morning here and I was to go to clinic later, I was so miserable that I called and cancelled my clinic and they had to move all the patients. so I wrote to him saying, “next time if you wish to discuss something which is going to be difficult – lets do it on the weekends as I get upset and have to cancel my clinic Both of us would not like this to happen at our work.”
the jerk replied and said “I was only replying to your email and the person who is running the clinic is the one who has to decide whether to cancel it or not”. He never addressed any regret that his action had this consequence on me.
No accountability, he is never wrong.
It is like they break our heart, hurt us , fail to give us adequate assuring explanations and instead say, – can you put your grief away for a while and let us enjoy this trip, we can talk about it later. when you talk about it after few days he will say “I do not remember exactly what you or I said, we do not have a tape recorder” so the topic remains unresolved.
I told him I could not live my life with him with a tape recorder. they will DENY, DENY, DISMISS, DEFLECT AND IT WILL NEVER BE THEIR FAULT.
Eden, you said it right – at the start while in the fog, – the speed and accuracy with which they give amazingly accurate explanations, makes us think twice about doubting them, the gut says something is wrong, but we try to push it away, until it reaches a stage, where the nonsense far outweighs the sense, by that time we are wounded so badly and left with 2 choices – victim or survivor.
I am glad we made the correct choice.
petite.