This week the Connecticut Medical Examining Board restored me to the full practice of medicine. Due to the fact that my ex-husband Barry Lichtenthal impersonated a physician and examined female patients in a clinic that I directed, my license was restricted. I am not going to retell the full story today but I am going to comment on some things I have kept silent about. For more details of the story you can read Barry Lichtenthal: Sexual predator ruins the career of Dr. Liane Leedom. Donna Andersen is an excellent journalist and did her own investigation in order to report the story. She uncovered details even I was unaware of.
I want to address the question of whether or not I was Barry’s “accomplice” and the question of what I was aware of in terms of the goings on. The precise answer to the question is that I was an unwitting accomplice. I knew that he told people he was a retired doctor and that he called himself “Dr. Taylor.”
This behavior on his part began shortly after the clinic opened. The first I was aware of it was when I was negotiating a contract with an insurance company. He got on the other line and started schmoozing with the executive. I do not remember exactly what he said but he told the man he was a retired doctor and proceeded to tell funny and entertaining stories. Although I laughed, I was disgusted at this because it seemed infantile on his part and a waste of time. I did not understand this was his “foot in the door” with me and these stories.
I correctly recognized these stories as being pathological lies (pseudologica fantastica). However, I did not understand that all people who are pathological liars are predators. I am now sure that this is the case, though if you read the Mask of Sanity by Dr. Hervey Cleckley, he says that not all pathological liars are psychopaths.
I thought Barry told these stories because he has an ego problem and was threatened by his wife’s status. Again that interpretation was correct, but again I missed the significance of it. I let it go because I thought his pathological lies were harmless entertaining stories that no one really believed any way. Several patients indicated to me they were aware that the stories were entertaining fabrications.
I never told anyone Barry was a doctor. In fact I told every patient I was the only physician at the practice. I realize now this must have been very upsetting and confusing for some people who were being told one thing by me and another thing by Barry. Since he is a professional con artist who do you think was believed?
Because of this terrible judgment on my part, I deserved all the punishment that I received. Since I was part of other people’s victimization, I sought to do everything I could to make amends. The victims were compensated by my malpractice insurance carrier after I provided hours of truthful testimony regarding what happened. The officials of the insurance company believed my explanation that I never intended any fraudulent or criminal activity. I made the wrong decision regarding coping with my husband’s story telling.
Shortly after Barry’s arrest, I had the good fortune to speak with Annie Mcguire from fraudaid.com. It was she who made me aware of Donna Andersen. She and I also had a discussion of the unwitting accomplices of psychopaths. She said this is very common and pointed out that psychopaths could not do what they do without witting and unwitting accomplices. She has written step by step instructions for what to do if you are the unwitting accomplice to financial fraud.
I am speaking out about the fact that I was an unwitting accomplice to fraud to help to bring attention to this phenomenon. Psychopaths con and manipulate people into helping them do their dirty work and sometimes also into doing their dirty work for them. If we can raise public awareness of psychopathy and stop non-psychopaths from helping psychopaths we will be able to do a great deal of prevention. Do not ever help a psychopath in any way or you will be tricked into becoming an accomplice.
Now that gets me to telling the rest of the story. You might be wondering, “What ever happened to Barry Lichtenthal?” It is no surprise that he went to Connecticut State prison where he continued to tell his pathological lies. Prison staff members became his unwitting accomplices when they too did not prevent him from calling himself “doctor” or “doc.”
A law enforcement official told me that it was not illegal for Barry to call himself “doctor” in prison. He said this after I verbally reprimanded him for allowing this to go on. I told him I believe prisoners like Barry need to have a special designation “psychologically dangerous” so that prison staff will not be psychologically harmed by them. It seems odd that if a prisoner is more physically dangerous than average, staff members are warned, but there is no appreciation of the concept of psychological dangerousness.
Now enter another set of accomplices, family members. Even after they knew that Barry is what he is because I told them while also fully explaining the concept of psychopathy; and even after they witnessed his destruction of my life, members of his family participated in his seduction of his next woman. They sent her flowers on his behalf while he was incarcerated. They also did nothing to warn her even though I begged them to.
I was told by inside sources that the prison nurse who married Barry at one point believed he was a doctor. But I have not spoken with her myself to verify this. Donna and I have known about Barry’s new relationship because we both received letters from him while he was incarcerated, and the letters were not all stamped with the prison stamp. I received several letters addressed in a woman’s handwriting and postmarked “Hartford, CT.” Upon seeing the letters I knew that he had yet another person manipulated. I did my own investigation and found out he married a nurse who worked in the prison.
Donna and I did not write about our investigation of Barry and his marriage to the prison nurse because although I have all the documentation of the events that went on in the prison, we have no proof Barry and the nurse were actually married. Donna is a very good journalist and you can trust that she will not tell a story without possessing proof. For more information regarding Barry’s recent activities see Probation department wants access to sex offender’s computer
I pray every day that Barry, now in his 60s has mellowed and become less predatory. I believe that the best person to deal with him is an experienced prison nurse so I hope that situation is going well. I also pray there will be no more victims and no more accomplices.
Oh, Crikey, I’m sorry, I just saw your last post before I logged off. I wish I had not spoken of the beach. I can see how connected you were. My friend who I spend time with here and there. He is an old friend of mine for many years. Do you not have someone like this? Or a girlfriend such as this. You must. Have you been confiding in someone that is close in proximity to you? If so, ask them if they would be interested in taking part in your healing by spending time with you each week and start to overcome some of your hurt. Don’t let yourself stay in the old places in your head that causes you to dwell to much within your thoughts. Start to change things up. Do things with others even if you have always been independant. It is important. It is extremely healing and helpful in your recovery, Roses!
E
Hello Petite,
I just saw your post as well. I do understand the thoughts and feelings that are coming up for you. I was there and feeling the same at the end of our dealings. It is all very clear to me, now why it happens and why this particular part of every survivors story is just the same. It is the lack of all of the important things we all need to function humanely as loving and caring human beings. Empathy, Love, Cocern, Conscience. They will never change their ways, their character traits. They are out for the good of themselves, period. Knowing this now, you must do what needs to be done within yourself to move on to a better place. It takes work but you will get there! Just reach out when ever you need support or a guiding hand!
Love to you,
Eden
thanks Eden,
Yes, I am getting there – though slowly but surely.
no one can change them, now he must be giving my dream to someone else, the someone else does not know what will be the final outcome, that is all I can think to soothe my troubled heart.
As a narcissist, he will never have empathy, it is all about him and his needs and gratification, we will always be the puppets.
I read by a poster here (style1) she said – she wants to be the prize and I also want to be the prize for a man who believes in rule #1 = honety.
petite
Gnite Eden,
didn’t have time to read much just skimmed and saw your gnite post.
Hi Roses, Hi Petite
(((hugs)))
Hi Eden,
I can TOTALLY relate to your hair thing. For me, it was my teeth, and it wasn’t that jerk I dated but my mother. She broke my front tooth in a fit of abuse when I was 7. I walked around looking like crap for many years. She never took me to a dentist ever, not even for a cleaning. Over the years, every time I have to replace that crown (and now another veneer on the neighboring tooth to make them match and two root canals from the old trauma) I become enraged because she never helped me fix my teeth. I asked her as an adult to help with the cost of fixing the teeth she broke. She refused.
I’m not mad about it any more, but it’s duly noted that she is old and alone and has no relationship with either of her two kids. (I am now 50).
So I can relate about your hair and what it symbolizes.
Hugs to you.
Eden,
no, I don’t. I have great friends, who DO love me. But none like you describe. This is a path I’m walking alone. I have my therapist, my kids, very close friends (but they have not understood the extent of what has happened and if they do, they don’t know how to deal with it), and my dogs. 🙂
Please don’t be sorry for saying anything about the beach. It’s my stuff and a goal. Someday, I hope I can get past the pain of what it means now to go……….and my goal is to do it alone, as I do everything else….because in the end, ME is all I have.
Have a great night Eden! REST WELL!
RB
Petitie.
I’m really proud of you. You’re growing SO MUCH. Good for you, Chica!!
RB
However, I did not understand that all people who are pathological liars are predators. I am now sure that this is the case.
THIS IS A HUGE PIECE OF INFORMATION!
Hi Roses,
still in lot of pain. have my ups and downs, not into the up and own days yet, more of up for a while half hour or few hours and then down for few hours, getting a fraction better with each day.
still miss him, the good (fake)times. have to convince myself how fake the whole thing was with only one intent in his mind – winning, conquering and adding a notch to his bedpost.
how I wish we could sit together and cry our hearts out. at least, thank God , we are close on the internet, rather than each of us in a totally lonely world with no one to guide / save us.
petite
Petitie,
There is a shift going on for me right now. I’ve moved into the anger stage. everytime I think of him, ‘oh I love you so much J’ it turns into YOU BASTARD………
Because that’s what he is. Nothing more, nothing less.
There are times I want to cry my heart out Petitie, but now it’s over the years I wasted with this bastard and not any gross illusions about anything other than what he was, a bastard.
I’m pissed off now. This is a great stage for me. Because if I saw him, the biggest fear is that I wouldn’t go right up to him and punch him in the face, however, he’d probably enjoy that, so it’s not worth my energy.
He always wanted me to slap him during sex. I often wondered if it would be standard procedure and just as much of a turn on if I slapped him OUTSIDE of bed too……….
I don’t want to waste energy crying my eyes out over an adulterous menace to society.
I’d rather pay the money to keep my wiener dog alive on pain meds, steroids and benadryl. Seems more beneficial at this point.
I think, Petitie, just so you keep this in mind, there is a fine line between someone to guide and support us vs. someone to save us.
We can only save ourselves. I have found that telling myself the truth about what a bastard this man really is, being REAL honest about what he did to me and the yeras I wasted on a such a pop tart is somewhat healing, but also extremely anger provoking.
He’s onto other gf’s now Petitie. Married? PULEEEEEEEEEEZ, neither of his two wives meant shit to him, and neither do I and nor do the next women/wives/what have you.
My exP was a chronic adulterer. After six children, and twenty years, that never changed. I’m not pissed at his gf’s (one who recently passed away leaving behind five children from a man she eventually married), I WAS PISSED OFF AT HIM. Squarely where the blame belonged. Petitie, my exP ran off with my ex best friend. She had four children. She abandoned them ALL for him for the next ten years……in the meantime, he beat the shit out of her, and the stress of all of it mangled her as a human being………
Two bouts of cancer. sick as a dog. And guess what? She STILL believes she can save him and that he LOOOOOVES her. Her sickness is very deep. She wasn’t able to get past it. I don’t hate her, I pity her. She was one of his many VICTIMS…..she was no different than I, the only difference is that I was able to EXTRICATE from the marriage………but he went on to do the same shit.
Because we have six children together and he’s about to embark upon the boat to prison again, I asked him about the finances, because he pays child support. Asked if he filed his taxes. well to that, he got REAL cold. Eh. Big fucking suprise……
Yea, I married a winner and I’m just SO UPSET that he has other women. NOT!! THANK GOD!!! But also, at the same time, I feeel so sorry for her…..this ex best friend…he has ripped her to shreds and he’s okay doing it……..he nearly killed her with his last beating of her, but her son took a baseball bat to exP’s head and nearly killed him……..who do you think that exP blames? Well, not now because she is sucking up, but he blames the child……her children who hate him and even then, she keeps calling him and seducing him…….and because he has nowhere to go when he gets out of prison two months, she’s a viable option.
Bastard. What a low life bastard.
He said, “I told her that we were just friends, that I loved her but wasn’t IN LOVE with her”………
Um, yea, he said that to me,numerous times too.
HE is a menace to society. HE is. l
And I’m glad, ever so THANKFUL,having lived on both sides of the fence, Petitie, that I can see that NONE OF THE WOMEN they were with ever fucking matttered and that they were all the same. A notch on the bed post. I was that way to my husband and so were his mistresses, alot, except one, that I grew to care for very deeply.
HE is the menace to society Petitie. So when you’re crying your eyes out next time, cry for those who will marry him again, as well as be in the same place you are now………..because the victims don’t disappear……….they’re are ALWAYS more……
HE is the menace to society. HE creates hate and divisions. HE does all of that Petitite.
And you don’t have to be apart of it at all. AT ALL.
RB